A Hidden Past: Chapter 4- Will
Chapter 4 – Will
Warning/s: Fighting but no gore
Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin
A/N: Hi guys. Its second vision time! Thank you to all those who have responded to my poll, if you haven't check it out! Help me decide which story I want to start next and I may even start that story while this one is going on because sometimes you need a break from one story.
Enjoy!
Many thanks to Cordelia Rose who betaed this!
Slowly, Arthur cracked one eye open, nervous as to where he would be this time, but to his shock he was standing in the middle of Ealdor. This time, the buildings were slightly more worn and some had disappeared altogether. Where they had been, new ones now stood: people were milling about around him in shock, their eyes full of wonder and awe. He turned to see what they were staring at and found himself face to face with… himself. That's when he knew which memory he was in, that's when he knew why the spell had taken Merlin back here. Merlin. His manservant was standing a few metres away from him, a sword in one hand and a dead bandit at his feet. He looked younger and more carefree than the Merlin he knew, like a burden had been lifted from his shoulders. Across from him stood another young man with short brown hair and a broad face that was tanned from working in the fields. Arthur knew that face; he recognised the firm set of the mouth that told anyone he didn't know to back off. It was Will. Merlin's childhood friend, the one whom he had last seen during Merlin's brutal attack.
"You still up to the same old magic tricks again? Look, I thought I told you I didn't want your kind around here?" Will said and Arthur gasped: what had changed to make him hate his friend, a friend who he had fought to protect when they were young? Magic, a voice whispered in his mind. Of course Will knew; how could he not have known? Arthur studied Merlin's face for any sign of the hurt his manservant must be feeling as his old friend insulted him. Instead, his face broke into a grin and he wrapped his arms around his friend.
"I miss you, too, Will," he laughed and Will smiled over his shoulder.
"It's good to see you again," Merlin said, releasing his hold on his friend and taking a step back as if to take in how Will had changed.
"How've you been? I hear you're skivvying for some prince," Will teased and Arthur tried not to be offended. He wasn't just some prince anymore; he was the king of Camelot.
"No. I wouldn't say I'm a skivvy," Merlin started to defend himself but was cut off as Arthur called out to him,
"Merlin! Gather the villagers, I need to talk to them."
"Yeah, in a minute. I'm just talking…" Again Merlin was cut off by Arthur's arrogant tones.
"Now, Merlin. There isn't much time."
"Yes, Sire."
The manservant sighed and began heading towards his master's direction. Behind him Will raised an eyebrow as if to say 'if that's not skivvying then I don't know what is'. A crowd was beginning to assemble around Arthur as he started to address them. Future Arthur wasn't listening though, he was too absorbed in his own thoughts to listen to a speech he had already given. He didn't remember sounding so arrogant: Merlin, although he wouldn't admit it to anyone, had cured him of that years ago, having chased away any sign of pomp or snob with his snarky insults or ability to do the exact opposite of what he was supposed to do. Arthur knew though that they weren't the real reason he had stopped being such a prat, it was Merlin's unwavering loyalty that had shocked him out of it. The fact that for once someone was treating him like a normal person, not hanging on to his every word or being nice to him because they wanted to earn the prince's favour. No, here was someone who made him feel human. His thoughts were interrupted as the roars of the assembled villagers broke his concentration. They were willing to die to save their village but not Will. He had sneaked off to his own hut, Arthur noticed this time, and Merlin too had followed him.
Inside, Merlin stopped just inside the doorway while Will carefully sorted some chainmail that bore Cenred's insignia.
"He knows what he's doing. You've got to trust him. Look, when I first met Arthur, I was exactly like you. I hated him. I thought he was pompous and arrogant," Merlin explained to his friend and Arthur felt a warm feeling spread through him at Merlin's confidence.
"Well, nothing's changed there, then," Will replied, shifting the tabard so it wasn't wonky.
"But, in time, I came to respect him for what he stands, for what he does."
"Yeah, I know what he stands for: princes, kings, all men like him," Will hissed. He stopped fiddling with the armour and sat on a wooden bench.
"Will, don't bring what happened to your father into this," Merlin pleaded and Arthur remembered Merlin explaining to him how Will's father had died fighting for King Cenred, how he didn't trust anyone of remembered how Gwaine had been much the same and wondered sorrowfully whether Will would have changed if not for his imminent death.
"I'm not. Why are you defending him so much? You're just his servant."
"He's also my friend." That one word lifted Arthur's spirits; neither of them had ever admitted to each other that they were friends. Maybe more than servant and master, but never that they were friends. Will didn't seem to agree though.
"Friends don't lord it over one another."
"He isn't like that. I trust Arthur with my life."
"Is that so? So, he knows your secret, then? Look, face it, Merlin you're living a lie, just like you were here. You're Arthur's servant, nothing more. Otherwise you'd tell him the truth," Will argued and shoved past him out the hut. Merlin had shut his eyes at this and was slumped against the wall. His fight gone. Arthur glared after Will, he was wrong Merlin hadn't told him because… because… He never trusted you, he was always planning to betray you, the voice in his head murmured. That wasn't true; he just needed the right moment to tell him, not because he didn't trust him. The scene shifted before Arthur could continue arguing with himself.
Now, Hunith was stood behind Merlin who was heading out of the hut, an axe in one hand.
"He must care for you a great deal," she was saying.
"Arthur would do the same for any village. That's just the way he is," Merlin shrugged.
"It's more than that. He's here for you," she carried on, trying to understand why her boy wouldn't accept that fact.
"I'm just his servant," Merlin said and Arthur felt something drop in his stomach at those words. How could Merlin think that, he was way more than just his servant?
"Give him more credit than that. He likes you," Hunith argued and Merlin turned to face her, a sad gleam in his eyes.
"That's because he doesn't know me. And if he did, I'd probably be dead by now." The words stung like icy shards embedding themselves in Arthur's heart. He knew he was angry about Merlin's magic, but he would never have executed him. He didn't know what he would have done, what he would do. He didn't know Merlin as well as he did back then, but he still wouldn't have put him to death.
"You don't really believe that, do you?" Hunith asked, her eyes wide with sadness for her beloved son, but Merlin just walked out of the door. Arthur watched him disappear into the trees, thinking about all the times Merlin had picked him up when his self-confidence shattered and he was ready to give up. He had never even noticed Merlin's struggles. Was he that bad a friend? He gazed at Hunith who was also lost in her own thoughts, sending her only son away to Camelot must have been hard, but he could understand why if men like Kanen terrorised Ealdor regularly. He hadn't realised that the scene had moved until he looked up and almost walked into the wall of Will's hut. He quickly glanced around to see if anyone had seen but realised that no one could actually see him. He felt stupid; he was supposed to be here as part of a sick sorceress's plans, not worrying about his self-image. When he peered in, a wave of anger swept through his body, Will was packing a bag. He was running away like a coward.
"Join us, Will! This isn't about Arthur; this is about your friends. Are you really going to abandon them?" Merlin begged, placing a hand on his friend's shoulder. Will shrugged it off and carried on packing.
"What, like you did?" Will shot back and Merlin recoiled hurt by his friend's cold tone.
"I'm here now," Merlin said quietly.
"Yeah. Yeah, you are. And you could end this. If you used your magic, then no one else would have to die," Will replied with passion, slinging his bag over his shoulder. Arthur couldn't help the anger that swept through him as Will mentioned Merlin's magic.
"You know I can't."
"Can't or won't? I'm not the one abandoning these people, Merlin. You are," Will argued, pushing past Merlin for the second time that day. Merlin made no move to stop him.
Arthur watched his friend's torment as he tried to work out what to do. He was pacing, fighting an inner battle, raging as his heart and head conflicted with each other. Arthur watched as the day was replayed in front of his eyes, watching as Merlin did what he did best: restoring Arthur's belief. Watching as Merlin set aside his own problems to help solve Arthur's. Before Merlin, Morgana had been the one to set Arthur on the straight and narrow. He missed her strength and her fiery temper that had made boring meetings much more interesting. She had followed Arthur to Ealdor not for him but for Merlin, a friend who seemed to understand her troubles. They had been something more than friends at one point and Arthur could never understand what had happened to them. After Morgana had been rescued, her and Merlin's relationship had gone downhill. He had witnessed the coldness in Morgana's voice and seen the way she brushed Merlin off every time he had tried to speak with her. It was nice to see her acting like the old Morgana before she had turned to the darkness; she was arguing with him to let the women fight, displaying the compassion and stubbornness he had loved her for. She was the sister he had never had… well, the sister he never knew he had.
The women had stepped forward next to Morgana and Gwen; they wanted to fight for their home, their family and their very existence. He listened to the speech he had given to them, one of very few that Merlin hadn't written for him, he watched as they roared their belief in him to the heavens.
"For Ealdor!" they cried, Merlin's beaming face leading the chants.
Arthur had never given a thought to where Merlin had gone to after the crowd of peasants had dispersed. He had assumed he was off doing… servanty things, but in reality Merlin had returned to his home and his mother, the sources of comfort where he could be himself and not worry about the oncoming battle or his destiny.
Hunith was sitting pensively on a bench by the fire, when Merlin entered and hung his jacket up.
"Come here," Hunith said, looking up at her son with such profound sadness that Arthur wondered how the welcoming woman he had shared a house with was the same person as this dejected lady. Merlin walked over and sat next to his mother who began stroking his face.
"I do love you, my boy," she whispered, gazing forlornly into his azul eyes.
"What's wrong?" Merlin asked, worried at his mother's expression but still managing a small grin.
Hunith dropped her stare to her lap and it was a few seconds before she answered, still not looking at her son,"I should never have gone to Camelot. I've ruined everything for you."
"You haven't. Why would you say that?" Merlin questioned, concerned at his mother's regret.
Hunith raised her eyes back to his. "I know what you're planning to do," she said and Arthur felt confused, what had Merlin done? He had fought like the rest of them but he had done nothing out of the ordinary, nothing that would have him react to Hunith's statement. Merlin sighed and looked into the fire as if the dancing flames would provide him with an answer to his dilemma.
"If it comes to a choice between saving people's lives and revealing who I really am, there is no choice," he mutters, shrugging.
Hunith barely let him finish, "You can't let Arthur know about your gift." At this Arthur realised, the magic. Why was everything to do with magic?! It still made him flinch to hear that word, the word that had caused so much pain and heartbreak in his life, though never from Merlin admittedly.
"Why not? Maybe it's meant to be this way. And if he doesn't accept me for who I really am, then…" Merlin paused as if gathering his thoughts. "He's not the friend I hoped he was." Arthur felt the wave of guilt he had been holding back crash over him. He didn't deserve to call himself Merlin's friend when the boy was prepared to sacrifice himself to save him but he would have considered executing him for who he really was.
It was morning now and Merlin was passing over Arthur's armour, preparing to help him put it on as usual. Arthur stopped him, "No, not today. Put on your own." They both began to dress for battle, strapping on the pieces of metal and losing themselves in their thoughts. Merlin was struggling with the buckle on one of his bracers when Arthur finished. Upon realising this was probably the first time Merlin had put armour on, he began to help, expertly doing it up. He placed a hand on his manservant's shoulder.
"You ready?" He asked.
"My throat's dry," Merlin murmured, not wishing to show weakness in front of his master. Instead of mocking, Arthur surprises his future self by displaying an emotion he rarely showed: empathy.
"Me too." He reached out a hand and Merlin shook it. "It's been an honour." They both turned away from each other and began to sort through weapons. Merlin took a deep breath.
"Whatever happens out there today, please don't think any differently of me," he said and Arthur turned.
"I won't. It's alright to be scared, Merlin."
"That's not what I meant."
"What is it? If you've got something to say, now's the time to say it," Arthur replied, oblivious to Merlin's inner battle which is so obvious to future Arthur. He can see how much Merlin's heart wants him to shout out that he has magic but his head is telling him to shut up. Merlin opens his mouth but Morgana gets there first.
"Arthur. They've crossed the river," she reported and Merlin snapped his mouth shut. It was not the time for his secret to be revealed.
The trio rushed out of the hut towards where the villagers were waiting, sticks and pitchforks in hands. They took their positions, waiting for Kanen and his men to appear. They didn't have to wait long before a large group of men on horseback came charging out of the forest into the seemingly deserted village. They thundered in between the huts, searching for their prey.
"Come out, come out wherever you are," threatens Kanen, trying to lure them out but it was Gwen who reacts, not Arthur. She tugged a rope attached to a hidden gate, trapping the unsuspecting attackers. Morgana was attempting to light a fire to complete the plan but the sparks wouldn't light. Arthur was waiting but nothing happened; he cried out in frustration:"Now, Morgana. What are you waiting for? Something's gone wrong."
Merlin paled and sprinted in Morgana's direction, ignoring Arthur's call. Kanen and his men spotted the manservant running past them.
"There's one. Get him!" Kanen instructed and the mounted archers loosed an arrow. Future Arthur watches in awe as Merlin expertly dodged it, letting it thud harmlessly into an upturned cart. This isn't the first time he has been shot at. Another arrow was fired and again Merlin ducked out of the way, skidding to a halt as he came across Morgana desperately trying to light the fire. Merlin grabbed the flint off her and pretended to use them, but instead whispered 'Baerne' under his breath. The straw caught light and a prepared line flamed up, trapping the riders. Arthur, ready and waiting, gave the signal and the villagers charged; the battle was going their way. Morgana and Gwen are fighting side by side, taking down the men. Merlin has beaten two of his own opponents when a third raced towards him. A figure on a rooftop nearby leapt and pushed the attackers to the ground, killing him. Future Arthur gapes as Will gets to his feet.
"I didn't think you were coming," Merlin panted, breathless from the battle.
"Neither did I," Will admitted and the two fight back to back as more of Kanen's men charged at them. At that point,Kanen was winning as villagers were cut down one by one. Will and Merlin stopped to assess the damage and realised this, their faces falling.
"There's too many of them," Will yelled over the battle cries.
"Not for me there isn't," Merlin replied, raising a hand. 'Cume thoden,' he hisses and a whirlwind sprung up, knocking the enemy back and sucking them up. Arthur stopped fighting and watched with an angry glare as the windstorm began to die down, leaving the two closest men, Merlin and Will, unharmed. The remaining bandits began to retreat, running towards the safety of the woods. At least, all except Kanen who emerged from behind a hut, pulling his helmet off.
"Pendragon!" he cries and Arthur broke out of his shock. He raised his sword as Kanen charged towards him, swinging his blade in a cruel arc at his target. Their weapons clashed together as a fierce combat ensued. Arthur was clearly the more skilled of the two as he deflected a hit and drove his sword into Kanen's stomach. Future Arthur feels a sense of satisfaction at seeing Kanen crumple at his past self's feet but it quickly dissolves as he watches himself spin round and glare angrily at Merlin and Will.
"Who did that?"
"What?" Merlin answered and future Arthur can see through his confused façade to the terrified boy beneath. Will stepped subconsciously closer to his friend.
"Wind like that doesn't just appear from nowhere. I know magic when I see it. One of you made that happen," he spat and Arthur laughs humorlessly as he thinks obviously you don't know magic when you see it as your closest friend has been using it under your nose for years.
"Arthur…" Merlin began but Will cut him off as he spotted Kanen raising a crossbow and fire. The peasant boy barreled into Arthur, knocking him out of the way. The bolt hit Will in the chest with a sickening squelch. Kanen fell back, dead.
"Will!" Merlin yelled, carefully lowering his injured friend to the ground. He tried to slow the bleeding but it kept pouring out of the wound. Arthur sank to his knees next to them.
"You just saved my life," he murmured to Will and the dying boy grimaced in pain.
"Yeah. Don't know what I was thinking," he gasped out. Arthur seemed to pull himself together and helped Merlin to carry Will inside of a hut. They laid him down on a table and Will struggled to breathe.
"That's twice I've saved you," he panted to Arthur, whose brows scrunched together and a look of confusion entered his eyes, at this statement.
"Twice?"
"Yeah, it was me. I'm the one that used the magic," Will admitted.
Merlin tries to silence him:"Will, don't."
Arthur looked up at Merlin, who wouldn't meet his gaze; he just focused on Will's face.
"It's alright, Merlin. I won't be alive long enough for anyone to do anything to me. I did it. I saw how desperate things were becoming and I had to do something," Will responded, not bothered by Arthur's incredulous look.
"You're a sorcerer?"
"Yeah. What are you going to do? Kill me?" Will laughed sarcastically through his pain.
"No. Of course not. Do what you can for him," Arthur responded in subdued tones before ushering Gwen and Morgana out of the door. Hunith lingered on the doorstep looking at the pair of childhood friends before leaving them alone. Will smiled at Merlin.
"I was right about him. I told you he was going to get me killed," he laughed, even though the spasms caused him even greater pain, and Merlin leant closer to him.
"You're not going to die," Merlin said, trying to mask the shake in his voice.
"You're a good man, Merlin. A great man and one day, you're going to be servant to a great king. Now you can still make that happen," he replied, and future Arthur, who has stayed at the back of the room, smiles at Will's compliment.
"Thanks to you."
Will's breath came in harsh rattles as the crossbow bolt obstructs his airways; Arthur knows he doesn't have long. Will's face began to crease and tears formed in his eyes.
"Merlin. Merlin, I'm scared," he all but whimpered and Merlin also had tears lurking in his eyes.
"Don't be. It's going to be alright," Merlin responded but it did little to comfort his dying friend. Will's whole body was tensed and his face was scrunched up in pain.
"Merlin…" Will breathed before the trembling stilled and the look of pain disappeared from his face, the lines smoothing out and the agonized glint in his eyes fading. Tears trickled down the secret warlock's cheeks as he pined for his lost friend. Arthur too feels the warm wetness in his eyes as he understands Will's sacrifice. He died a noble death protecting a friend.
The memory faded and the earth beneath his feet turned into the hard stone floor of the council chambers. Arthur sunk to his knees and didn't notice that Kileens's spell had been removed until Gwaine barrelled into him. The smaller man raised a fist and punched Arthur in the stomach before drawing it back to hit him again. Arthur breath rushed out of him and he curled over, bringing his hands in front of him to protect his face. Percival grabbed Gwaine's arm and restrained him from hitting the king again. It was then that Arthur noticed what a state Gwaine was in; he was shaking with anger all over and he was on the verge of tears. Percival calmly pulled the angry knight up off Arthur and cradled him to his chest. It was as if a dam had broken because as soon as Gwaine felt the strong, muscled arms of Percival wrapped around him, he sagged and the tears began to fall. Percival just held him in his arms and whispered words of comfort in his ear. Arthur recovered his breath and began to stand before he was barrelled into a second time, this time by Gwen. She buried her face into his shoulder, and he felt her body quiver as she struggled to control the emotions flooding through her.
"He was willing to give up everything for his friends and family," she cried, her words making his heart ache even more in sympathy for his friend. "And we didn't even know." Gwen pulled back from her husband. "What would you have done if he had admitted to being a sorcerer?" she asked, wiping her eyes with the sleeve of her dress.
"I don't know," Arthur replied but was interrupted by Gwaine, who had recovered slightly from his earlier attack.
"Yes, you do. You would have banished him at best and executed him at worst," he growled, squirming out of Percival's grip and pointing a finger at him. "He lost his friend because you were too busy worrying about the actions of a sorcerer who just saved a village."
Arthur wanted to reply that those accusations weren't true but he knew they were, deep down he knew that what Gwaine spoke was the truth. He stared over at the forlorn figure hunched on the floor and extracted himself from Gwen. He walked over and knelt beside Merlin, who was sobbing from the pain of his past but still buried deep in the spell that caused him to remain unconscious.
Arthur carefully cradled the thin body of his manservant in his arms and whispered to him, "Forgive me."
