Hello, guys! This update took longer because I was having trouble with writing the last chapter but I'm back now!
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Let's reply the amazing reviews last chapter:
- Canadian Magus: I actually saw that theory from an ig post so I can't take credits for that one! And yes, I'm glad you can spot the obvious obstacles between the problem and its solution in this story (or the show, actually).
- Reminiscent Lullaby: Thank you! I actually posted the first chapter when I was already writing the last one so I don't abandon this fanfic halfway. Don't worry about this fanfic being unfinished because I will kick my ass to finish it if I had to! And I'm so happy you like it, really, I'm going to cry :")
- alex: You can't blame him! I mean, their conversation did sound misleading, am I right? ;p I agree that Nathalie has had a big impact on Adrien's life despite her efforts to be discreet about it. I mean, the story would be so much different if Nathalie didn't help Adrien get the permission to go to school. I always have this thought that Nathalie is not paid enough for everything she does for the Agreste family, to be honest. The woman deserves a medal ;(
- duusuu: Glad you think so because that is my intention when writing this story! ;)
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Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN MIRACULOUS LADYBUG!
Protector
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Chapter 4
Love
It was four years ago.
Emilie stared at the embarrassingly huge painting of herself in her husband's office. There was nobody in the house at the moment. Gabriel was in his office at the Agreste HQ, pushing limits to make a deadline. Adrien was attending his friend Chloe's piano recital and wouldn't be back before nightfall as the girl had insisted he joined her family for dinner after.
Swiftly punching the combination to the safe hidden behind the painting, Emilie sighed in content when she saw the brooch displayed beside a Tibet guidebook.
"Hello again, my love," she said when the tip of her fingers brushed the metallic surface of the brooch.
It was not her first time doing this. And by this, she meant using the Miraculous behind her family's back. For the past two supposedly-clean years, she could say she had used it at least five times when there was absolutely nobody home. The fact that Adrien was homeschooled hindered her from sneaking in more uses, but she managed some nonetheless.
She felt the wave of euphoria rushing through her when she clipped the brooch onto her white blazer, just above her right chest. When the little god emerged before her, she smiled and used two of her fingers to brush the top of her head.
Duusu stared at her user with wide, dark eyes that seemed bottomless.
You're back. You're back. You're back. I miss you. Don't leave again. I miss you, the kwami seemed to be saying.
"Me too," Emilie whispered before she was engulfed in blue light, and then she was Mayura.
Mayura smiled. She was excited to meet her Protector again after months. She didn't know what made her so excited. Her Protector couldn't speak. They would spend all the time they had in silence before Emilie had to detransform again. Perhaps it was because the creature originated from herself that she felt such powerful emotional attachment to it. She remembered feeling the same when Adrien was just born. When she couldn't get enough of the beautiful baby boy that some nights she found herself just looking at his sleeping figure, hoping he would show her those eyes of gorgeous green. She couldn't remember how many I-love-yous she had whispered to him. Because he was a part of her.
Her Protector wasn't lovely like Adrien. It wasn't cheery and smiley. It wasn't hugging her and calling her mom. It wasn't a little boy with the brightest eyes.
Her Protector started out as a ghostly apparition that resembled a mythical creature, so out of the world. However, after summoning it for six times, Emilie couldn't help but notice how it gradually lost its fowl-like features and turned disturbingly human. The last time she summoned it, it wasn't astral anymore. It couldn't go through walls. It couldn't fly. It couldn't glow.
Emilie was thrilled to see how it had turned out this time. Excitement blossomed as she plucked out a feather and worked her magic.
Green eyes widened when a creature that looked unmistakingly human emerged, curled up on the floor like it was just born from inside a capsule. A female. Her night dark locks fell to her bare shoulders of milky white skin. When she looked up at Mayura, the latter could spot two of the most beautiful sky blue eyes.
Mayura took a sharp inhale. "You are beautiful," she murmured in awe, bending over so she was closer to the other woman's level, hand fan held gracefully against her chest. "Hello," she tried in her friendliest voice. Maybe now, her Protector could speak. Because she undoubtedly looked intelligent enough to do so.
Alas, her Protector only stared.
Mayura spent her time either trying to get the woman to talk, or admiring her, showering her with praises that she wasn't sure the latter understood. At one point, she grabbed one of her dresses for the woman. She wasn't sure what would happen to the dress once her Protector was renounced, but she was not quite enjoying the notion that she let a naked woman wander around her house.
Mayura decided to have a coffee time with her Protector and was appalled when the latter preferred black coffee. The only person she knew who actually preferred that abomination over milky goodness was her husband. And during the short two hours she spent with her Protector, she realized that the blue-eyed woman resembled her husband more than herself. How she would stand so painfully straight. How cold her gaze was. How she would huff when she didn't like something. How she proactively arranged objects based on sizes, colors, or numbers. Perhaps because she was born out of Emilie's love, and Emilie's love was her husband.
At sundown, she could hear Gabriel's car pull over the front yard and decided it was time to say goodbye to her Protector again. Like every other goodbye, it was hard. Her heart felt a strong longing for her other half—if she might call her that.
Regardless of how hard the goodbye was, she couldn't rejoice when her Protector still stood before her when she dropped her transformation. And her shock was only escalated when she removed the brooch and locked it behind the safe yet the dark-haired woman was still there, solid and existing.
"Oh, no…" she mumbled, realizing the weight of her mistake this time.
When Gabriel entered the house and saw her companion and asked, "Who is this, Emilie?" the blonde conjured up the most elaborated string of spontaneous lies she didn't know she was capable of making.
Surely, using a named derived from her favorite holiday of the year wouldn't give her away, would it?
Adrien grabbed a drink and stayed close to Marinette, who was about to faint because a renowned designer just praised her work, but was hanging on because collapsing under a praise was not exactly the first impression she was aiming to make.
It was the gala dinner held by Gabriel Agreste to introduce his newest spring line collection. The man in question was entertaining a couple of new investors, with a drink in hand and the fakest of smile on his face. Adrien's gaze travelled to one of the corners of the room to spot Nathalie. She was still dressed in a suit, although it looked a bit fancier and more fitting for a high-class social event. With one of her hands holding her tab, her eyes observed the whole room from her spot like a CCTV. It was her job to make sure the event went smoothly.
Just a few weeks ago, Adrien had overheard a conversation between his Father and Nathalie that he still couldn't quite fathom to this day. After that day, he found himself observing them more than usual, his gaze following them from his peripheral vision. Every time they excused themselves, he would try to follow them, but for some reason there would always be an Akuma attack that followed, hindering him from finding out more about what they were doing behind his back.
"Oh my gosh," Marinette's voice snapped him out of his trance. He smiled at his classmate who looked beautiful in her red, knee-length dress that reminded him of another girl who looked stunning in red. "I still can't believe you actually invited me to your Father's spring line introduction event, Adrien. I can't begin to describe how thankful I am that you gave me the opportunity to meet so many amazing people tonight!"
"Well, you seem to be interested in fashion." Adrien winked. "And I figured it would be more fun with you around. This kind of event gets tedious fast."
Marinette seemed to suddenly lost the ability to speak. Her cheeks were burning red under the abundant light in the hall. "I, uh, I'm ho-honored? That you think I'm fun to have around?" she stammered, looking at her drink like it held the solution to world poverty.
Adrien was about to say something when his eyes spotted his Father approaching Nathalie at the corner of the room and whispering something to her. He couldn't believe his eyes when both of them went and disappeared behind the emergency door.
That was it.
By the time his Father was back from the emergency door alone sometime later, Marinette was talking with another designer, looking more comfortable this time. Adrien took the opportunity to leave his friend and approached his Father.
"Where have you been, Father?" he asked, trying to slap in as much venom in his voice as possible. Nino always said he couldn't pull it off, though. But that was beside the point. "I thought the host should always be present. You were gone for quite a while there."
His Father looked genuinely surprised by the question. "I was… in the men's room."
"With Nathalie?" Adrien pushed, eyeing his Father with obvious suspicion.
Gabriel raised a brow. "No? She certainly does not look masculine enough for those in the men's room to simply allow her in without questions, does she?"
Confusion was written all over his face when Adrien hung his jaw open. "What? No! I mean, where is Nathalie now? I saw you guys disappear behind the emergency door together and now you're back alone."
"She did not look well, so I allowed her to excuse herself early tonight. We were calling a backup to take over her job for tonight and I sent her off in a taxi before going to the men's room then coming back here," Gabriel explained flawlessly. "I hope you are going somewhere with this accusing interrogation, son."
Adrien bit his lip and frowned. Still not convinced but couldn't think of a smart retort to dig further. "I'm not," he spilled out. "I'm sorry I took your time."
"Very well, now please excuse me as I have a couple of investors to please." Gabriel gave his son the slightest bow before taking off.
Adrien twisted his lips. "Of course."
Gabriel hurled a thick, hard-covered book against the floor with all his might, producing a loud bang, and Nathalie flinched. She was standing in front of him, looking down like a child being scolded by her parents.
It was one week after the gala. Just half an hour ago, the two of them were in the lair, controlling today's Akuma and his Protector in synch. Halfway through the battle, Mayura had started coughing. At some point of their alliance, Nathalie had promised Gabriel that they would stop once she showed signs of deteriorating health, but the battle looked very promising for them that she didn't want to let it go. She was barely standing but despite Hawkmoth's command-turned-plea to stop, she held on. She was genuinely perplexed when he snatched her Miraculous off her dress and force-shut her transformation.
He was hollering at her when they detransformed, all the way from the lair to his office.
"I apologize," she mumbled in remorse.
"I can't look at you right now," he said in suppressed rage, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose, then placed the Peacock Miraculous inside his blazer's pocket before fast-walking out of his office.
She let out a heavy sigh. Maybe she shouldn't have done that. But in all fairness, she had no idea he would react to such extent. A little scolding then a thank you was what she had in mind.
She was about to return to her desk and wait for his temper to cool down when the door opened again. She turned around almost immediately, hoping it was her boss. But it was Adrien.
"Are you guys fighting?" the boy asked carefully.
Nathalie's shoulders drooped slightly. "I wouldn't call it fighting. But we certainly are not on friendly terms at the moment. It will likely pass soon, so don't concern yourself with it."
Adrien nodded and Nathalie made a move to walk back to her desk. "Are you dating my Father?" he asked again, now standing just three steps away from her.
Her brain stopped functioning for a couple of seconds and she nearly missed a step. She turned to face the boy again. "…I'm sorry?" she asked, needing to make sure she wasn't hearing things.
"Are you and my Father in a romantic relationship?" He rephrased.
Nathalie was now blinking rapidly, her mouth gaping. The more he elaborated on it, the more alien it sounded in her ears. French suddenly sounded like the sub-genre of Venusian language. What in the world made him ask? Gabriel? Impossible. But why would he ask such question on his own accord? Was it how they acted towards each other since the alliance? She was confident they still acted professional despite their reversed role in the lair. Okay, maybe she let some habits in the lair slip; like accidentally correcting him without adding "sir", or using her tab to lightly smack the side of his head when she thought he was being silly or extra (she used her fan to do it in the lair but her tab came closest in real life).
Oh no, they did look a bit too chummy, didn't they?
Nathalie composed herself and started arranging words in her head. "Would anybody in a romantic relationship be yelling at the other then storm out of the room in boiling rage, Adrien?" she asked, trying to help the boy regain his common sense.
The blond shrugged. His growing suspicion and witnessing strange activities for the past month was not about to just magically disappear with one question. "He looked really sad instead of mad. He's even making latte. He only does that when he's sad."
You're kidding me, Nathalie wanted to say but held back. A flipping latte? He must be really upset.
Adrien awkwardly scratched the side of his head. Nathalie waited until he decided to say, "Just to get it out there, Nathalie. Let's say you guys are dating. I want you to know that I'm not against it or anything, but I would appreciate it if you guys would be honest instead of going behind my back. I feel kind of betrayed."
If she could, Nathalie would laugh at how innocent the boy sounded. She wondered if he thought her effort of trying to get closer to him recently was to get to his Father. "Our relationship does not go beyond professional, Adrien. Trust me. Why would I lie to you?" To be fair, she did lie a bit because their relationship went to "supervillain alliance" as well but that was a secret he could live without knowing.
Adrien crossed his arms and harmlessly frowned. "Well, I can think of some reasons over the top of my head: you think I'm not ready for a new mother figure; you think I'd hate the idea that you're going to be around even more, which I really don't. And what else? You think I'd throw a tantrum to try to separate you and my dad like some bratty, possessive son?"
She was utterly speechless. Mainly because of how the conversation was straying farther and farther from reality but also because of how mature Adrien was at taking everything in. If Gabriel ever found someone, he would have the easiest time because his son would be so supportive. But that person wasn't her and she had a personal mission to fix the misunderstanding that soon would be spiraling out of control if she didn't immediately return it to the right track.
"I just want the truth, Nathalie," Adrien practically begged.
And the truth she shall give him. "No, Adrien. No, your Father and I are not in any kind of relationship you're imagining. Your Father is the utmost loyal man who still loves your Mother strongly. You can rest assured." Now, he could give his wild imaginations a rest.
"Oh…" he mumbled, shoulders visibly drooping. Not the kind of reaction she was hoping for, if you'd ask her. "Is that so? Alright, then."
Nathalie watched as the boy's expression shifted. He was chuckling awkwardly for a few seconds and then it quickly melted into silent tears. The sudden waterworks immediately alarmed her. "Adrien, are you okay?" she asked, hands instinctively going to his shoulders.
He was looking down, ashamed of being seen crying.
"I don't know," he choked out, swallowing the sobs. "I don't know when it started but I'm seeing my mom in you." Nathalie swallowed. "I love you so much, sometimes I wish you would be there every waking hour just to listen to me and talk to me. To hug me and tell me you love me. It feels right."
"Adrien, I…" she trailed off. "You…" What did she want to say again?
"I know," he said after a while, already starting to calm down. "I'm being unreasonable. I don't want to force you into something you'd hate, either. I'm really sorry for making you feel uncomfortable." He held both her hands with his and squeezed them in reassurance, then he smiled. "Can we forget about what happened here today?"
"Of course." She nodded, albeit reluctantly. "If that's what you want."
Adrien nodded and hugged her. "I love you."
Me, too, Adrien, she didn't say but returned his hug. Me, too.
Nathalie looked at the ceiling of her apartment room. Its pure white span allowed her mind to be at peace. She started thinking back about what Adrien had confessed earlier today. And when she closed her eyes, she didn't see those bottomless black eyes. Or dreadful whispers of desperate pleas. All she could hear was a baby's coos and its adorable little laughter. She brought her hands into the air and pretended she was holding a little person in her arms. Then she could feel the warmth of the baby's breath against her chest.
My baby, my love. I love you so much, the voice in her head said. I'm always with you. Or was it her own? She couldn't tell.
With her eyes still closed, she raised both hands in the air and pretended she was cupping a face. A perfectly rugged face. A smooth jawline. His dark blue eyes staring down at her like she was the most precious thing. The smile on his face tingled the inside of her chest. His whispers of love almost sounded too real in her ears. Maybe they were. But they weren't for her.
When she opened her eyes, she jumped. There he was, staring down at her with such loving eyes. Tender, kind, and affectionate. He took a seat beside her, and held her hand. Then a little boy ran up to them, smiling with a toothy grin. He snuggled up between them and giggled.
Nathalie smiled yet she was crestfallen. Because it wasn't real. She closed her eyes and when she opened them again, she was alone again in the empty apartment room. She looked at the clock that showed 11:47 pm. Maybe it's time to hit the sack.
She was just getting up from the couch when she heard a chiming sound. It took her a while to realize that it was her doorbell. Nobody had ever visited her flat before and therefore she had no idea her doorbell sounded like that.
Unsurely, she approached the front door. Who was it at this time of the night? One look at the peephole and she was flabbergasted.
She opened the door in a hurry, scanning the man from head to toe. She had only noticed the absence of her glasses; she had placed it on the living table. To ensure it was not an image shown by lack of rest and late night hour, she slapped herself on the cheek, startling the man before her. "Mister Agreste?" she asked when he was still standing there. In the name of the Miraculous, how?
He nodded and casually strolled in like he owned the place. "I have spent all day thinking," he started, standing in the hallway before her while her brain still running the remaining common sense over.
He looked directly into her eyes and she couldn't help the growing anxiety that started in the pits of her stomach. Anything he thought over latte couldn't be good. "About what, sir?" she asked carefully.
"About us." His eyes didn't leave hers.
Nathalie held her breath. "Our alliance?" she asked. Please say yes. Please say yes.
"Our situation."
"Can you elaborate?"
He nodded. "Can you remember this?" he asked, then gently placed a hand against her left cheek. She shuddered at the coldness of his skin against hers.
She was having a hard time looking at his eyes. Her eyes darted around. The sensation was overly familiar. "No," she breathed out. It was so hard to breathe. Not with the voices in her head getting louder.
"Very well," he said, but didn't remove his hand, much to her chagrin. "Can you remember this?" he asked again, and when her eyes moved to meet his, she was taken aback by how close he was. And before she could tell what's going on, both his hands were on her cheeks and his lips were against hers.
Nathalie tensed up in an instant, her fingers froze and her eyes wide open on the contrary to Gabriel's closed ones. It was just a very brief lip-brushing that could barely be called a kiss, but her head was ringing and her heart was about to burst out of her ribcage.
"Wha—" she gaped in utter disbelief when he retreated. What just happened?
"I have been having second thoughts for a while now," he said. And before she could ask, he continued, "About obtaining Ladybug and Chat Noir's Miraculouses. About saving Emilie. The price seems to overweight the gains now. I am putting your life on the line. For what? I believed I should bring back my wife so my son could have a mother again. So my family would be whole again. But is harming the entire city, chasing two innocent teenagers, and sacrificing your life worth what I wish for?"
Nathalie blinked, recovering from shock. "And you decided ringing my doorbell in the middle of the night and smothering me with questionable gestures of affection and philosophical queries is the answer?" Nathalie asked in pure disbelief and a tint of ire. "Should I still add "sir" in this situation?" she sarcastically added despite her rising voice.
He didn't look perturbed in the slightest with his usual posture, hands behind him. "I have no intentions of forcing you into something you do not wish for," he reassured but it did not affect her. Her mind was still loud. "But I would greatly appreciate it if you took my proposal into consideration."
"What proposal?" she challenged.
"Ever since Emilie… was incapacitated, you have been by my side. You have been nothing but loyal to me. You have been there for my son. I would be lying if I said I harbored no feelings towards you," he confessed, not losing an ounce of his composure one might question if he was being genuine. "In the past few months of working together as Hawkmoth and Mayura, I realized the weight of your existence in my life. My heart, if you would. It has arrived to a point where I can no longer bear seeing you hurt without feeling like somebody ripped it apart."
Nathalie listened to him quietly, still trying to wrap her head around the bombardment of new facts. His voice was unchanging, but if anyone could tell he was being genuine, it was her.
She rested her back against the wall because she promptly felt lightheaded. Yet it didn't stop him from continuing.
"I wish to pursue something else with you, Nathalie. Something that would serve as the push I need to put Emilie behind me. And that is only if you have no qualms about it."
Nathalie was absolutely mortified. The inside of her head was mush and her stomach was a blender. She could throw up any second now. Was this really not just some hallucination her mind conjured up as usual? The Gabriel Agreste she knew—her boss—was the most loyal husband she had ever met. Not the best Father around, but was everything anyone wanted in a husband. It simply didn't make sense that he would abandon his wife for her; his wife's inferior duplicate.
"Have you perhaps forgotten about my origin?" she decided to ask because he seemed to have been blatantly ignoring that certain elephant in the room.
"It does not bother me," he simply said.
Except it wasn't the matter of whether he was bothered. "I am an anomaly," Nathalie reminded. "A mistake in the system. I might disappear tomorrow, return to where I came from, and we can't even be sure."
He answered almost immediately that it gave her the impression that he had rehearsed it at home, "You have constantly existed for four years, almost five now. Independently from Emilie. I do not wish to regret my choice by giving up on our potential based on such indefinite factor."
As expected of a businessman, his argument was flawless. It seemed that the latte did nothing to impair his debate skills. But Nathalie was not an oblivious schoolgirl with naïve view of life and relationship, either.
"You promised the Madame to save her," she reminded. "I only exist to help you. You know I will follow you forever for that purpose," she announced the obvious aloud and he nodded in agreement. "But not like this," she added in desperate plea that he could somehow wrap his mind around her logic.
To her dismay, the determined look on his face still stayed and she could tell even without her glasses. "Nathalie." He took her hand in a firm hold. "Do you have feelings for me? That is the only thing I need to know."
She squeezed her eyes shut and let out an exasperated sigh. Why did he have to ask such question? She had been so loyal to him for years. She would give up her life in a heartbeat if it meant he could get what he wished for. She would rip her heart out and stomp on it if it meant he would be happy. She knew that. He knew that. As the owner of the Miraculous of empathy, he sensed emotion. Was that really a question he needed to ask?
"I do," she said, determined. "I do, sir."
At this point, I'm actually writing more of what I want to happen for my ship instead of just writing out my theory. Please bear with the cheesiness. I'm keeping it at a bare minimum.
This fanfic is mainly based on these two theories that my friend (kisugreen on instagram) said one night: 1) What if Nathalie is Emilie's Protector who's born out of her feeling of love and she somehow keeps existing even after Emilie is incapacitated because the Miraculous is broken? 2) What if Nathalie doesn't always look like the Nathalie we know today? (Hence, the half-peacock half-human apparition)
So I heard the first episode of season 3 will air in six days so I'll update by then. See you guys in six days!
