After class, Ella practically ran home.

He knows, he knows, he knows...

Light Yagami was a manipulative evil genius.

You knew that already.

Shut up, me.

Throughout the entire class, he had made conversation. Polite conversation. She wouldn't even think he was analyzing her if she didn't know this story by heart.

He must've met Ryuk by now and figured out I'm a completely different mystery.

It had started innocently enough. At least, she thought it was innocent. She should've known better.

Light tapped her on the shoulder from his seat behind her. They were both sat next to the window. Wonderful. "So, Nita-san, where are you from?"

Nita smiled. "California. In America."

"Wow, it must be really warm there."

"Yeah. We're in a drought currently."

He blinked at her, the calculating look in his eye almost masked by interest. "Really?"

"Uh huh," Nita nodded, oblivious to her mistake. "It hasn't rained for four years."

Light blinked. "Right."

The bell rang.

She'd forgotten it was a different time.

It's 2003, not 2015.

Damnit, damnit, damnit...

Now he probably thinks I'm a pathological liar. Or that I'm insane. Both are probably true. She relaxed at the idea. He doesn't know anything about me.

She had given in to the idea that this probably wasn't a dream. At least, not one she could get out of so easily.

She walked up the front steps of her apartment complex that had conveniently been provided for her and went into her apartment. 13L.

She'd had a good, long, hysterical laugh over that one.

At least there's actually pants in the closet.

That was because she'd thrown out almost all of the clothes that had been in the closet (besides a red dressing gown, a leather jacket she'd probably never wear, all the underwear that wasn't basically just lace, a masquerade mask, and an apple locket that had a note inside of it that said it would allow her to see shinigami and lifespans. She put it on to test it, went grocery shopping, and almost had a heart attack herself. She then tried to take it off, realized she couldn't, cursed every god she could think of, and resigned herself to the fact that she may very well be a Mary Sue.) and went out herself to buy clothes with the money in her brand new bank account.

My author must be nice.

She snorted. Nah.

After showering, Ella got a box of cereal, curled up on her tiny couch, and plotted.

How to Avoid Kira in Three Steps

Step one: Pretend you don't know him and avoid him and his creepy fan girls at all cost.

Step two: Once you've failed step one, move on to step three.

Step three: Wait impatiently for your inevitable demise at the hand of a power hungry high school student.

Well. That was no help.

She groaned. "How the fuck am I supposed to avoid Kira if he won't fucking leave me alone?!"

"Someone should keep it down. You've got neighbors, y'know."

She yelped, falling off of her couch. "What the fuck!"

"Language. I expected someone supposedly named Apple to be sweeter."

Ella looked up at Ryuk. And burst out laughing.

Ryuk scratched his head. "Not really the reaction I usually get."

Ella shook her head and held up her hand for the shinigami to wait.

Surprisingly, he did. When Ella felt sure she could speak without choking, she looked back up at him. "Sorry." She stifled a laugh. "It's-its just-" she choked slightly. "Has anyone ever told you that you look a melted crow?"

Ryuk stared. "Well, you're weird."

Ella threw the box at him.

He looked at the front of the box, temporarily ignoring Ella's raised eyebrow. "Apple Jacks?" Ryuk pulled out a handful of cereal (ignoring Ella's indignant "hey!") and threw it in his mouth.

He then proceeded to choke and spit out everything in his mouth.

Ella made a face, curling back up on her couch. "You're cleaning that up."

Ryuk turned to her, ignoring the mess. "Look, weird human. Why aren't you scared of me? Actually, how can you even see me?"

Ella raised an eyebrow. "I'm not answering anything until you clean up your mess."

Ryuk was suddenly right in front of her. "Listen up, human. I could kill you with my little finger nail if I wanted to."

Ella didn't blink. She'd honestly kind of been wanting to die to get out of this stupid anime. "Do it."

They stared at each other.

Ryuk backed away. "You're lucky I don't take orders from humans."

Ella snorted. Lucky.

Ryuk started hovering. "So, where'd you come from?"

"Mess."

Ryuk glared. "What did I just say?"

Ella glared back. "Do not, under any circumstances, clean up the mess you made in my living room."

Ryuk snapped his weird claw fingers and made the mess disappear, looking at her defiantly.

Ella snorted internally. Men.

Ryuk hovered. "So...?"

Ella got comfortable in her chair. "So... What?"

"So, how'd you get here?"

Ella shrugged. "I don't know."

Ryuk stared. "You don't know?"

She picked at her nails. "Nope."

Ryuk stared. "I'd advise you not to lie to a God of death, but I assume you've already realized we're temperamental."

Ella shrugged again. "I'd advise you not to provoke a teenager, but I assume you've already learned we're fucking insane."

Ryuk stood suddenly, staring at her neck. "Where'd ya get that?"

Ella started and looked down at her necklace. She played dumb. "I was born with it?"

"Not your neck, moron. The necklace."

Ella blinked. "Oh. From my closet."

"Before that."

Ella was honest. "It was in my closet when I moved in."

Ryuk held out a clawed hand. "Give it here."

Ella looked at the shinigami's hand apprehensively. Ew. Does he not wash that thing? "I can't take it off."

Ryuk snorted. "Of course you can, it's not attached to you."

Ella glared. "No, it isn't. However, I've already tried taking it off and it won't budge."

Ryuk huffed. "Let me try."

Ella huffed back and crossed her arms. "Go ahead."

Ryuk tried to unhook the clasp. He then tried to pull it up over her head. Eventually, he tried using his claw to cut the chain. One weird flash of red light later, he ended up in a pile of plaster.

He floated up. "It won't come off."

Ella threw her hands up. "No shit." She stood up and went to the kitchen.

Ryuk floated after her, having already cleaned up the mess. "Whadaya doin'?"

She grabbed an apple from the fridge and turned to the shinigami. "I have some questions to ask you."

Ryuk eyed the apple. "What makes ya think I'll talk?"

Ella waved the apple slowly, watching Ryuk's head follow it. "I'm assuming you want to get the taste of Apple Jacks out of your mouth."

The shinigami visibly cringed. "Fine. I'll answer your questions."

Ella threw the apple and watched Ryuk eat it. "Good death god. Now, did Light send you?"

Ryuk looked at her quizzically. "How do you know about Light?"

"An eye for an eye." What? Ella, calm your shit with the quoting. "You answer my questions, clown bird, and I'll answer yours."

"This is gonna cost ya."

She threw him another apple.

"Yeah, Light sent me. He wanted to know if you were suspicious, which apparently you are."

Ella shrugged. "So, I'm basically just waiting to die at this point. No difference to before."

Ryuk snorted. "You can't die."

She froze. "What."

"That necklace you're wearing. It doesn't let you die as long as you're wearing it. Shinigami stuff. Not even the death note can kill ya."

Ella turned slowly in place once. "You're saying I'm immortal."

"No. I'm saying you can't die unless you take off the necklace."

She snapped. "BUT I CAN'T TAKE OFF THE NECKLACE!"

"You still have neighbors."

"My neighbors thinking I'm insane isn't something I'm too worried about at the moment."

"Weird human-"

"I have a name."

"Actually you have a lot of names."

"Oh god."

"I'll just call you Weirdo."

"Wonderful."

"So, Weirdo. What are you going to give me to tell Light you're not a threat?"

Ella shrugged and sat on the counter. "He can't kill me. I don't have anything to lose."

"Just because you can't die doesn't mean you can't get hurt."

"I think it does, considering your nasty ass claw didn't even graze my throat."

Ryuk hovered across from her. "Why are you so self assured?"

Ella shrugged. "I'm pretty sure I died. This is probably Hell. I'm a Mary Sue. My story is rushed, I probably have some tragic backstory that has yet to be revealed, maybe I'll even end up in some fucking weird ass love triangle with the most attractive main characters! Hell, maybe everyone will suddenly fall in love with me and I'll suddenly be mentally stable! I've been thrown-literally thrown- into this fucked up detective story where the only memories I have are things that haven't happened yet and palm trees. Honestly, clown bird, a shinigami and some super genius teenage fuckboy with a god complex aren't my highest priorities at the moment, though, rest assured, you are up there."

Ryuk stared. "I'm not on anyone's side in this game, Weirdo, but if I was I'd probably be on yours. Cause so far you're the most entertaining."

Ella rolled her eyes. "Gee, thanks, Ryuk. You sure do know how to make a girl feel special."

Ryuk tilted his head. "How do you-"

"Foreknowledge." Ella waved her hand dismissively. "Now leave so I can shower and sleep."

Ryuk stood and caught the apple she threw him. "Later, Weirdo."

And he flew through the wall.

Ella stared at the wall with the most deadpan expression on her face for a while, until she heard a knock at her door.

She went and opened it. "Hello?"

A familiar looking woman stood on the other side of the door. Ella tensed as the woman spoke. "Hello, my name is Shoko Maki. I live next door and I heard screaming so I came over." She flashed her badge. "I work for the FBI. May I come in?"

Ella rolled her eyes internally, cursing herself for even thinking she could have the rest of the day off from this stupid plot in this stupid world.

Nita smiled. "Yes, of course."