Oh, wow. I fucked so many old people tonight. Seven words: Old Man Jenkins is a fucking machine. We were using sex toys to kink it up while watching The Sound of Music. The thought of Nazis made us come on each other. We then put the cum in some pancakes and ate them while I castrated him. He has testicular cancer, but big commie hospitals wouldn't castrate him because he was a patriotic Republican. Old Man Jenkins thanked me and gave me $6.25 for a good evening. He then dropped dead of fluoride poisoning. The government is doing that to you right now, so you should only drink Republican water. I then did the following sexual acts with his body: 69, bukkake, civil war roleplay, pegging (don't ask how), and Cleveland Steamers! What a good night. I'm a good hooker.