Chapter Four: Lost in the Glass
Author's Note: Borrowed some from Matthew Stover's Revenge of the Sith novel, I'm listening to the audio book and borrowing it from the library.
Also, I find it deliciously ironic that everyone has Anakin call Padmé "Angel" as a term of endearment, even though most fans find the "Are you an angel?" line to be silly, and he's never called her an angel in any of the other movies.
What is a youth? Impetuous fire.
What is a maid? Ice and desire.
The world wags on.
A rose will bloom
It then will fade
So does a youth.
So does the fairest maid.
Comes a time when one sweet smile
Has its season for a while...Then love's in love with me.
Some they think only to marry, Others will tease and tarry,
Mine is the very best parry. Cupid he rules us all.
Caper the cape, but sing me the song,
Death will come soon to hush us along.
Sweeter than honey and bitter as gall.
Love is a task and it never will pall.
Sweeter than honey...and bitter as gall
Cupid he rules us all
"What is a Youth?" lyrics from Romeo and Juliet 1968 by Eugene Walter
Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker watched as Senator Amidala sparred with PROXY, his lightsaber training droid, he'd sent for him and the Temple had obliged him quickly.
She was learning the basics of Form I, Shii-Cho with PROXY. Anakin watched her as she battled the combat droid; she was holding her own very well.
She raised her eyebrow as she saw the form the combat droid took. "It's strange to see double."
Anakin laughed, "It'll be good to watch you fight me!"
Padmé attacked the droid with a series of strikes and thrusts; she parried his blows and kept her guard up. Her skills as a strategist kept PROXY busy as she continually kept up a barrage of aggressive attacks.
He smiled to himself, his life had been an interesting one, his mother Shmi lived on Tatooine and had willingly given him to the Jedi Order, feeling that he could do so much for the galaxy, as much as she wanted him to stay with her.
When he had learned this, he had contacted his mother, communicating with her and going to visit her between Jedi missions, although the Council had frowned upon it, he had assured them that familial bonds were good for the Jedi, if they could not marry, they could at least be allowed to visit family if they wished.
"The Code is far too restrictive, discouraging attachments is wrong, it cuts us off from the galaxy, the very galaxy we wish to protect, the anti-Jedi sentiment stems from our isolation, beings who do not understand us see us as dangerous."
The Council had considered his words, but did not say anything, he didn't mind, he would follow the will of the Force and his own beliefs no matter what they told him.
Among the Jedi, he was known as the Master of Audacity, Qui-Gon's maverick successor, everyone said he would have been given the rank of Master or even a seat on the high council if he'd adhered to the Code.
He didn't care about the politics of the Jedi; he enjoyed his life the way it was. It was said that Jedi do not crave excitement or adventure, but he did in his own way; he enjoyed speeder races and swoop racing.
Anakin Skywalker returned his mind to the present. He was immensely impressed with his Apprentice, she learned so quickly, the ways of the Force came naturally to her; it was second nature to her now that she was receiving the proper training.
He remembered the tale of Jedi Knight Revan, who had also been trained as a Jedi at an older age, but that was due to his amnesia after his defeat at the hands of the Jedi Bastilla.
The story was fascinating a tale of redemption and love back when the Jedi could be married and have families, it was rather disappointing that such things were discouraged.
Anakin laughed to himself, he'd never thought about attachments, not because he didn't want them, but he was so busy, fulfilling his duties to the Jedi and the Republic, still Padmé being a Senator first and foremost would be given an exception to the tenant forbidding marriage, they couldn't expect her to keep it, and they knew that it would be impossible to stop would-be suitors from pursuing her for political reasons.
The Jedi had given her many exemptions and privileges, not because they believed she was the Chosen One, but because she was a politician, and he suspected some on the Council were hoping that she would help them improve the Jedi reputation with the public.
The Jedi were prideful, and he knew that. The pride was not that of superiority, it was their unwillingness to change. They were shortsighted, and he knew the Sith could take advantage of that.
Anakin was also wary of the Chancellor; he seemed like a good man. That was what made him wary; he seemed like a good man.
He'd been searching for the Sith Master who had trained Darth Maul.
The Sith couldn't exactly operate open, flaunting the Dark Side of the Force, they would have to shroud their presence in public and scheme in the dark.
The dark is generous, and it is patient, and it always wins. He learned that long ago, and Anakin suspected it was only a matter of time before the Sith ripped the floor out from under the Jedi and the Republic.
Always in motion is the future, Anakin mused, remembering Yoda's words.
Be mindful of the living Force my young Padawan, another anecdote from Master Qui-Gon.
He returned his thoughts to his Apprentice, she was expressing her irritation with her colleagues in the Senate and why she was against the Military Creation Act that she was unable to vote against because of the assassination attempt on her life.
"I don't want another war, war is awful, and the Senate…is frustrating. They don't understand anything!" she sounded aggravated.
"You feel that you could prevent it, more so than others, because you see them as corrupt and useless." Anakin put a hand on her shoulder.
Padmé nodded, Anakin understood her, even more than Palpatine, and it wasn't due to their bond as Master and Apprentice, it was something else, something more, but she was unsure of exactly what it was.
"We ruin the planets we govern and the people in our care. We slaughter our enemies and sacrifice all our allies. We'll keep killing till there's nothing left but to destroy ourselves. It will never be enough. We are incorrigible warmongers aren't we Master?"
"You're nothing like that, not at all," Anakin smiled. "I know you want to protect everyone but all things die, Padmé, even the stars go out."
"It's not right, war causes such needless death," Padmé felt tired, weary, and helpless.
"There is no death, there is the Force," Anakin recited the Jedi Code.
He smiled, "Let's go outside, I could use the fresh air."
They began walking together.
Padmé glanced at Anakin, "Master, what of the Dark Side? Is it stronger?"
"Easier, more seductive, it always calls to us, inviting us into its arms, like a lover you can never have, luring you with its promise of power and strength, only to destroy you in the end."
"The Dark is generous. Its first gift is concealment. Our true faces lie in the dark beneath our skins. Our true hearts remain shadowed deeper still. But its greatest concealment lies not in protecting our secret truths but in hiding from us the truths of others. The Dark protects us from what we dare not know."
"Its second gift is comforting illusion. The ease of gentle dreams and night's embrace. The beauty that imagination brings to what would repel in day's harsh light."
"But the greatest of its comfort is the illusion that it is temporary, that every night brings a new day. Because it is day that is temporary, day is the illusion."
"Its third gift is the light itself. As days are defined by the nights that divide them, as stares are defined by the infinite black through which they wheel, the dark embraces the light and brings it forth from the center of its own self. With each victory of the light, it is the Dark that wins."
"The Dark is generous and it is patient. It is the Dark that seeds cruelty to justice; that drips contempt into compassion. That poisons love with grains of doubt. The Dark can be patient, because the slightest drop of rain will cause those see to sprout. The rain will come and the seeds will sprout, for the Dark is the soil in which they grow and it is the clouds above them, and that waits behind the star that gives them light. The Dark's patience is infinite. Eventually, even the stars burn out."
"The dark is generous and it is patient—and it always wins. It always wins because it is everywhere. It is in the wood that burns in your hearth and in the kettle on the fire. It is under your chair and under your table, and under the sheets on your bed. Walk in the midday sun, and it is with you, attached to the soles of your feet. The brightest light casts the darkest shadow."
"The Dark is generous, and it is patient, and it always wins—but in the heart of its strength lies weakness: one lone candle is enough to hold it back.
Love is more than a candle. Love can ignite the stars."
"Love, isn't love frowned on by the Order?" Padmé asked.
"Yes, but I believe that love is what makes us better, if I did not love, I would not serve the Republic," Anakin smiled.
He glanced over at her, "Recite the Jedi Code to Me."
"There is no emotion, there is is no ignorance, there is is no passion, there is is no death, there is the Force."
"Well done, Padawan," Anakin smiled, praising her. "You're an astute learner."
"But what about the Dark Side?" Padmé asked.
Anakin was disturbed by her question, because he knew that she'd been reading Sith lore and that it stemmed from her curiosity.
"A Jedi must conquer curiosity," Anakin warned.
"I know, I'll try," Padmé replied, flustered.
"Do or do not, there is no try," Anakin quoted Master Yoda, laughing.
Padmé glanced at the datapad, comparing both the Jedi and the Sith Code.
There is no emotion, there is peace.
There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.
There is no passion, there is serenity.
There is no death, there is the Force.
They were so similar, yet so different. She couldn't help but find it…
Peace is a lie, there is only passion.
Through passion, I gain strength.
Through strength, I gain power.
Through power, I gain victory.
Through victory, my chains are broken.
The Force shall free me.
…Fascinating. She kept this thought to herself, becoming a Sith, a horrible creature like Darth Maul, it was impossible.
They stopped walking, "Ah, here we are!"
She saw Pady's water speeder. "The Force is all around you, use it, and pick up this water speeder."
Padmé visualized the water speeder rising up, it was weightless in her mind and it rose up out of the water.
"I don't believe it!" Paddy Accu exclaimed in shock. He saw his water speeder hovering in the air.
"Well done," Anakin glanced at her. She used the Force to set the speeder back into the water.
"The lessons are over for today, let's go back," Anakin suggested. They headed back inside.
They ate dinner and settled in for the evening, Padmé glanced at the holofilm she'd been given by a colleague.
"Is it any good?" Anakin asked.
"Let's find out!" she grinned.
The two of them wished they hadn't. It was a terrible romance story.
"You are so beautiful!" the main character said, trying to use a romantic tone. Anakin buried his face in his palm, it was just so overboard.
"It's only because I'm so in love..." the female lead said dreamily.
"The dialogue, it needs prayer!" Padmé groaned.
"No, it's because I'm so in love with you," the man replied.
"Who writes this bantha poodoo?" Anakin asked, "Nobody talks like that!"
"So love has blinded you?" the woman asked.
"This conversation is so awkward," Padmé noted. She was happy that she didn't have to pay to see this holofilm; she would have beat her head into the nearest permacrete wall.
"Well, that's not exactly what I meant..." the man tried to explain.
"But it's probably true!" the woman exclaimed.
They watched the two characters laugh in the holofilm.
"That script was horrendous!" Padmé exclaimed. "If you ever hear me say something that awful I want you to shoot me!"
"It was a terrifically unintentional comedy though," Anakin laughed. They finished the Holofilm and Padmé realized how late it was.
"Yeah, well I'm exhausted, I'll see you tomorrow Master," she smiled at him.
"Good night, Padawan. Sleep well." He watched her leave, he decided to go meditate for awhile; he had a lot to think about.
Padmé thrashed about in her sleep, the dream always came to her, the one where the world is burning and the voice speaks, it speaks harshly, and the words shake her to her core.
Tell me, did your promises come to pass? Where's your Gods? Where's your Kingdom? What's the matter Queen? Answer me, Queen. Mad Queen. They're all dead. Every last soul, dead.
They're all dead. Every last soul, dead…
Padmé awoke with another scream, sweat dripped down her face, she got out of bed, putting on a robe.
She knelt by the statue of Shiraya, praying that the goddess might ease her heart and stop the nightmares, but she didn't feel any better.
"Padawan, what is it?" Anakin asked.
"Just bad dreams…nightmares," she replied, sighing.
"Dreams pass in time," he reassured her. "You'll be fine."
"I've had this dream twice now, I'm afraid it will come to pass," she whispered softly.
"Fear is the path to the Dark Side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering. The future is not fixed but fluid, dreams don't have to come true."
"Hold me," Padmé whispered softly, the words come naturally out of her mouth. He always made her feel safe, during the Naboo blockade, he had always watched over her. She never had to worry if he was there with her.
"Such attachments are unbecoming of a Jedi," Anakin whispered, "But I have always been a maverick. They don't understand something I always have."
"What is that?"
"We need others, attachments, to keep us focused. To keep us in balance, one can only control their emotions so much, and the Order has become too rigid to see that that ignoring attachments and the needs of the Jedi themselves will only benefit the Sith."
He pulled her into his arms and held her close.
"I care about you, I always have," Padmé whispered to him.
"I know," he replied.
Padmé looked up at him and turned her gaze out to the still water. "The view is quite lovely isn't it? When I was in Level Three, we used to come here for school retreat. See that island? We used to swim there every day."
"You have wonderful childhood memories of this place, I can see why," Anakin smiled at her. His hand moved over to take hers; he didn't say anything about it.
"...We used to lie on the sand and let the sun dry us...and try to guess the names of the birds singing."
He smiled at her, but didn't say anything else.
"There was a very old man who lived on the island. He used to make glass out of sand-and vases and necklaces out of the glass. They were magical."
Anakin let her speak.
"You could look into the glass and see the water. The way it ripples and moves. It looked so real...but it wasn't."
"And what happens when you look into the glass?" Anakin asked, curious.
"I used to think if you looked too deeply into glass, you would lose yourself."
"Would that be a bad thing?" he stared at her.
She leaned in closer to him. He gently touched her chin, leaning in.
"No, not at all," they kissed softly, he pressed his mouth to hers and she pulled him close to her. Her arms slid around his waist and he gently ran his fingers through her hair.
Padmé lost herself in the glass, the glass called Anakin Skywalker; she wanted this moment to last forever, if only it could.
He pulled away gently. "Are you sure you'll be all right?"
"Yes, I will be; thank you. Go back to sleep, I'll see you tomorrow."
He gave her a small smile, "As you wish." He turned and left her alone with her thoughts as she pondered what had just transpired between them.
Author's Note: Princess Bride reference for the win!
