mwth06: It IS sad! One of the reasons I write is because I feel depressed sometimes XD
iAmAnDaLwAySwIlLbE: You're welcome!
Piisa: Atta girl means, like, "Go girl!" Or, "That's my girl," in a friendly manner.
Kawaii Kabu: I love his attitude too -sobbing face-
Random Person: I'm sorry for the over-drmaticism. I noticed the same thing...
biawutnow: Sasuke will come at...hm...fifth or sixth chapter?
girl-of-anime: I hope this chap is longer!
emzly: Thank you XP By the way I love your new story with ChocoGONEsushi. The plot is AMAZING.
chocoGONEsushi: As usual, I luv you XD
vanessa1822: It's so hard writing Hinata In character. I'll try harder!!
winterkaguya: He is basically a surrogate father, I guess. It's pretty cool!
Gaara's Little Girl: -blushes with praise-
mexican-egyptianhybrid: Thank you, gracias :)
inspira748: HI HELEN!! How's the Celfo?
KibaIsHOTT: Thanks! I like your penname XD
Lacrymosa17: KaruHina...-blech- Ha, you made me laugh.
Eternally Loved: Now I did!! Did you know you were the FIRST reviewer for I am Hinata Hyuuga??
n1njofth3cunn1n3ss: THANKS!!
NikkiTheHyugaChick: I'm a rebel too...-does a weird face- I can't believe I haven't read your story yet...I've been incredibly busy, and I will!!
Monochrome Skies: I go for interesting!!
RunningBarefootAtMidnight: Again, I LOVE your penname! ...(am thinking of changing mine again. Lol.)
I really, really appreciate your reviews. This story practically exists for that.
This sloooow update was for three reasons:
Rewrote it two times-
Writer's block-
Difficulty at getting a certain character In Character, even after the time skip - namely, Neji-
And here's the next chap.
XxxxxxXxxxxxX
Au Contraire, Madam
Four: Enter Neji
XxxxxxXxxxxxX
The next day was chilly and overcast. Gray clouds hung like balloons low in the sky, drooping with the heavy rainwater.
In my house I made an excessive amount of dark strong coffee, draining it all.
I glanced in the mirror, and wished I hadn't. Dark lines spread underneath my eyes due to exhaustion. My skin was dull. No life. I pulled on the closest shirt I could find, dressed, and started the car.
XxxxxxXxxxxxX
At precisely eight 'clock I drove up to the theatre. Karu stood by the door with two large duffel bags and an air of excitement.
"Don't you have a car?" I queried.
"Nah. I gave the old red convertible to Neji. His car went in an accident. I take the bus here everyday."
"Oh."
He shot me a quizzical look. "You know what to do."
I smiled solemnly. "You wait here." He acquiesced.
When I walked in, sliding apart the two immense glass doors, I surveyed everything around me. I'd worked here for three years. Acting. The cool air blew around me, a cold draft starting from nowhere.
Today would be my last day here.
I inhaled deeply, exhaled, and knocked on the office door. As always, Hikaru opened it, having the appearance of one under great stress.
"What?" he questioned, irritated. "You're thirty minutes early."
Not knowing how to beat around the bush, I stuck to the facts.
"I'm resigning."
The words did not have the effect I'd hoped for. They didn't do the slightest thing, save for a quick raise of the eyebrows. And a snort.
Three seconds later he was doubled over, laughing.
"Oh, that's a good one. Ah haha, kneeslapper!" He paused. "The stage crew guy must've taught you some, didn't he? Ni-i-ice acting. Perfect! At this rate - "
"His name is Karu."
Hikaru was indifferent. He waved it away.
"Ah, Karu, Shmaru, who cares. Nice job, Arisa. You got it down pat!"
I breathed out slowly and let my mind wander to four years ago, to the people I had conversationed with, lived with, some, even - loved. The people who were my friends, whom I had abandoned.
I felt hot tears seep into my eyes.
...If Hanabi were in this situation she would keep smiling until he gave up.
...If it were Neji, he would just shake his head and walk away.
...If it were Sasuke, he would glower until Hikaru melted into a piddling pile of goo.
...If it were Karin, she would get right up to his face and act scary.
...If it were Naruto, he would declare that this was a free country, and he would go anyways.
...If it were Sakura, she'd punch the living daylights out of him for standing in her way.
...If it were Chouji, he'd probably rant off a million foods until Hikaru got sick of him.
...If it were Shikamaru, he would say "no" like a broken radio, because he was too lazy to say any other words.
...If it were TenTen she would grin happily and skip out of the building.
...If it were Ino she'd challenge, "Watch me go."
...If it were Gaara he'd flip Hikaru the love/and/or peace sign and walk out.
...If it were Temari she'd stay polite in her lady-like way but decline.
...If it were Kiba he'd mutter something incoherent and walk out.
...If it were Rock Lee, he'd apologize profusely...but stand his ground.
What...about...me...?
I opened my eyes. The tears were gone. Hikaru was already looking at something else. He thought I was a nuisance, that my words were false. Just acting. Nothing else.
Acting. Acting. All that I'd become.
What...about...me...?
I flicked some lint off my shirt, cleared my throat.
"Thank you. I know I've 'got it down pat'. But it's no use, you know? 'Cause I quit, remember?"
He finally looked up. "W-what?"
I shook his hand. He did not shake back. What a snot.
"It's been a good three years. But now it's over. I quit."
I turned my back to his flabbergasted face.
I couldn't resist.
"Sayonara, sucker."
XxxxxxXxxxxxX
I walked out of the building with the hugest smile on my face since I could remember. Genuinely.
Karu grinned. "Ready to rock? I'm driving." He had sunglasses pushed up his hair. Note that it was a cloudy day.
"You're driving?" I echoed weakly, getting in the back for more leg space.
"Don't diss the master. Let's hit the road."
I smiled, my eyes swimming with tears for some unexplainable reason. I felt like I'd belonged. I looked away, out the window.
XxxxxxXxxxxxX
On the way I fiddled with my jacket, I played with the seat belt, I examined my nails. The trees soared past, making a green blur on the window.
"Don't be nervous."
We were nearing Konoha at every second - we were on the highway - but how could I not be worried? "Nervous," I repeated faintly. "I...how would you feel if you walked out of a place and didn't return until at least three years later?"
He sighed and pulled up to load gasoline. "Point taken."
I nodded.
"Point taken, rolled up, and tossed aside, that is.
The truth was, honestly - I had never been more anxious in my life. This was not acting. It was the real thing, not simply played out onstage by a cast of well-prepared actors.
I was terrified at their reactions-to-be.
Impulsively I flipped open the laptop and typed in the u.r.l. for the chat room.
UKnockMySoxOff: Hey! It's so early...
AC: 10:49?
UknockMySoxOff: oh. - curses -I'm late for rope climbing!
AV: Rope climbing?
UKnockMySoxOff: Part of our camp. We've gotta teach little kids...
AV: We? As in...
UKnockMySoxOff: Us 7 Musketeers. -i didn't make up the name.
UKnockMySoxOff: We're 7 camp counselors!
UKnockMySoxOff: It's a lotta fun! Except I'm supposed 2 be there at 9:30...at least it's a Friday. we go home today!
UKnockMySoxOff: S - I mean, RGreen, is screaming. Bye.
AV: Bye. Good luck.
XxxxxxXxxxxxX
By this time we were already over the border. In Konoha. I pressed the window down and smelled the incredibly sweet aroma of hay and sunshine. "I'm back," I half-whispered, the cool breeze windswept. I felt as though I might cry, "and I'm here to stay."
XxxxxxXxxxxxX
Despite the coffee and my determination to stay awake I fell into a deep sleep. The road was smooth and pothole-free.
When I awoke, I was stunned; it was so bright in Konoha. The sun shone down without shame, burning through my retinas, hot on my skin.
"What time is it?" I mumbled groggily, sitting up.
"Almost two in the afternoon. Thirty more minutes."
Thirty more minutes. Seeing others in thirty more minutes. The suffering was almost tangible. Did they know I was coming, coming once again? What did they all look like? Did they change? Did I change?
"I'm pulling over for a quick break."
"Mm hmm." I got off the car and opened the door to the gas station. Cheesy music and cool air conditioner greeted me.
In the bathroom I washed my face and decided that, no, I didn't want to be Arisa Voce anymore. As I eyed my longer hair I searched in my pocket until my fingers unearthed the little X acto knife.
I started to cut away, every strand of hair grabbed firmly in my hands.
"Well, here we are, folks." The car pulled over to a long, winding driveway. Tree shadows laced up the aphsalt.
I shut my eyes and tried to reach the front door, tripping over the garden and over two steps. Finaly I staggered to the door and shoved the doorbell. My fingers found nothing. On the second attempt it rang.
"Is Neji...?" I whispered fearfully.
"No." I heard Karu take the keys from under the mat. I'd forgotten about that.
"Neji's participating in some sleep-away summer camp. He'll be back today. Hanabi's been at a dance convention for a year in Rain Village."
"Oh." I felt both excruxiating disappointment and relief.
XxxxxxXxxxxxX
In the house, I opened my eyes, dazzled.
Beautiful.
In the waning afternoon sun, the glass reflected like several thousand crystals. Tiny shards of light beamed across the hazy shadows. Snaking like an anaconda, the stairs curved several times before finally resting to the top.
I spun around giddily, loving the comfort of - of - home.
I spent the afternoon sleeping, after taking a shower, tapped from staying up last night.
My room was a pile of dust. It was - get this - exactly - the same, except that it was incredibly dusty. I weighed the chances of no one cleaning my room for three or four years. The probability was big. Books rested on top of one another, dust piled a few centimeters thick. The same mahogany drawer sat calmly in the corner. At least the bed was clean, and made.
Facing the mirror, I wondered what I would wear. I'd worn the same shirt for a couple of days, uncomfortably.
Memories of Arisa Voce were strangely twisted. Shallow. As I took off the shirt it ripped.
The result was awfully scanty.
"Hi! I'm an enormous slut!"
That didn't seem quite right. I decided on a navy jacket and loose jeans. Comfortable and appealing. As I rounded the corner downstairs, Karu was reading the newspaper.
"This house needs major spring cleaning," was the first thing I said to Karu. He smiled sheepily but nodded in agreement.
"Detergent. Bleach. Soap. Now."
XxxxxxXxxxxxX
With Karu's help I managed to clean the kitchen, the family room, all upstairs, the living room, and all the bathrooms. He used a broom, a vacuum cleaner, and a mop; I took the manual route and bent down on the knees and scrubbed.
The sun set slowly int he horizon. I pushed food into the microwave and punched in two minutes.
It smelled so good. I hadn't eaten home-cooked food in ages.
When Karu saw what I had done he immediately gave a yell and threw his sponge onto the floor, flinging open the microwave door in one fell swoop.
I gave hm a quizzical look. "What?"
"The lid is metal. You don't cook metal in microwaves," he explained.
"Oh. Oh. I'm so stupid."
The sound of a door closing made me swallow. I didn't need to look at Karu to know that the person was Neji. Neji; the last person I'd spoke to before leaving Konoha. Neji; whom I had hurt so deeply.
I wanted desperately to bolt like a bunny rabbit, run to anywhere but here. The footsteps came closer; my heart pounded - I heard the blood rush in my ears.
The footsteps reached the kitchen and I heard a male voice.
"H, Karu. I'm home."
I pounded down my fear, raised my head, and met his eyes.
"Hello," I tried to say as firmly as I could. My voice didn't waver, though I couldn't stop myself from trembling.
He had grown taller in those three years. His hair was longer, much longer, pulled back - and he wore a gray pullover and shorts.
A battered bag was hung carelessly over his shoudler. His eyes conveyed...astonishment. His mouth opened, and closed.
We must have stood there for at least a full minute before Karu shamelessly broke the silence.
"Well, I'll leave you two guys to sort things out, okay?" To my horror he exited the room, looking as if he might whistle.
Neji stood there.
I couldn't breathe.
A bird outside cheeped in all its glory. As if on cue, I inhaled and took two steps back.
Promptly, he turned around. His footsteps trailed upstairs.
I exhaled.
Slowly I replayed the events in my mind. What went wrong? Was it my fault? I had said - hello - hadn't I? Did he know it was me? Did he still hate me? The most prominant question sounded precarious in my mind, "How will I face him?'
After the homecooked meal - now ice-cold, I returned upstairs. His room was right next to mine, and his door was now shut.
I knocked, gradually feeling the fire pit start to swallow me up.
There was no response.
I turned away. Maybe later. Maybe tomorrow I'd confront him. Maybe...maybe never.
With a clang the door opened inwardly. He stood in the doorway.
All of a sudden I couldn't move. Did he know how intimidating he was?
"N-neji? Is..."
"Hi," he said softly, his eyes wide with disbelief. "You're back..."
Suddenly I remembered how I'd pushed him away at the airport. My head swam. "I'm sorry."
He looked at me seriously, his gaze searching.
"I'm so sorry. I'm..." My heart hammered. Confessions weren't my strong point. "...back...?"
I backed up and started to pace, my cool air succumbing to nervousness.
"I left you that d-day, and I realized..." Sweat trickled down my forehead. God, it was hot. "...that I didn't know much about you, and I..."
Red spots danced across my eyes. Too bright. I felt dizzy. The atmosphere was unbearable; why didn't he change expressions? Be angry, annoyed, sad...surprised...
I swallowed. "That I...shouldn't have treated you that way. K-karu told me about...quitting..." I fiddled with my shirt sleeve. Sweat poured down my neck, making my hair matted and damp. Once my gaze left his, I knew I couldn't look up again. I hadn't the courage.
"It's not your fault," he murmured. "I wasn't civil to you either."
It took several seconds of agonizing silence for me to raalize what he had said.
"It's over now," he continued, as if talking about some long lost event, "and I'm glad of that." Aburptuly I heard him stride up to me in a single fluid leap, and embraced me in a hug.
"Neji," I choked out, "C-can't breathe..."
He let go and leaned back expectantly. "You're back."
"I'm back," I echoed weakly.
There was no happiness. There was no sadness, tragedy - all that was left in the past. I felt no shame. All that enveloped the atmosphere was a sick kind of apprehension.
I would change myself. I would not hurt anyother people.
I will be changed.
Rather long chapter, I hope.
Sorry for the slow update, and oh yeah, I'll probably update faster, just so ya know. I really have nothing else to say; I hope you do!
