Disclaimer: Do I...look like I own 'Bleach'?


"Rukia is dead, Kaien. She can't come back"


Chapter 4 – Moving On

"Ichigo, there's someone I want you to meet-"

"Is it a woman?"

"Er..."

"No"

"Ichigo," Orihime sighed wearily. She was no fool. She knew Ichigo would never agree to any kind of date, especially a blind one. But she had to try. "It wouldn't be a date," she tried to assure the agitated man, "Just a friend. You have those, remember?"

"Dad, are you going somewhere?" Kaien looked around the kitchen door. Ichigo stared into his son's deep violet eyes.

"Of course I'm not," Orihime sighed again.

"Ichigo for the love of...Kaien can come too, if you want," Kaien brightened at that. Now there was no way Ichigo could say no. Orihime knew that.

"It's not a date," she repeated, giving Ichigo a smile, "I know you still love Rukia, I'm no fool. You'll always love her. But sometimes it's just easier to move on. She wouldn't want you to spend the rest of your life in mourning. She'd probably hit if you if she knew what you were doing. Please Ichigo, just think about it"

There was too much truth in Orihime's words. Rukia wouldn't have stood for Ichigo acting like such a sad puppy. She'd hit him, tell him he was being pathetic, and to just grow up and stop living in the past. But Ichigo knew perfectly well if the cards were switched, and Rukia was in his position, she'd do the exact same thing. So Ichigo didn't feel at all guilty about it.

"You need to get out more," Orihime was saying, "You can't tell me you didn't have even a little bit of fun the other night, all of us out on the town together, having a good time-"

If only Orihime had taken two seconds to notice, she would have seen that Ichigo hadn't been having anyfun. But then, why would Orihime notice something like that? "Look, Orihime, I appreciate you looking out for me and everything, but I'm okay with things the way they are. Kaien and I are happy, right buddy?"

Kaien nodded, though it was obvious he had no clue what he was agreeing to. "There," Ichigo looked back at Orihime, who sighed. She had known perfectly well this wouldn't work. But she had to try. Ichigo had been in mourning for five years. And Orihime, being his friend, wasn't able to just stand by and watch him spend the rest of his life waiting for a woman who was dead.

"Ichigo..." but she saw the defiance in his amber eyes, the unwillingness to just let go. He would forever be in the past. And Orihime wasn't sure she blamed him. If it were her in that position, and Uryu was the one who was gone, she wasn't sure she'd be able to move on either. So she let it go. "All right Ichigo, I understand"

And even though part of her did, most of her didn't. Rukia wouldn't have wanted this. Orihime knew that. Ichigo probably did too. But the question was, did he care?


Rukia drew her legs up under her chin, sighing. She was sitting outside the sixth division building. The sun was beginning to set, setting the sky ablaze. The light hurt Rukia's eyes, but she didn't care. She continued to watch the sky, letting her thoughts take her away as they always did. Not that she went to anywhere she understood. Over and over she saw things in her mind that didn't make any sense, people she didn't recognize, places she wasn't sure she had ever been before.

"You daydreamin' 'gain? Slacker," a hand connected with the back of Rukia's head. Sighing, annoyed, she looked up at Renji. Renji, one of the few people Rukia really knew. The person that had been there for Rukia for as long as she could remember (which was really only five years). Renji, who always seemed to know the truth, but never wanted to tell.

"Ah shut up," Rukia said, annoyed, "Look who's talking Mr. 'I-Have-Paperwork-From-Five-Years-Ago.' Don't lecture me about slacking"

"Tch," Renji made an impatient noise in his throat, but didn't say anything else. Rukia had won that round. "So what were you thinking about just now?"

"Same thing I always think about."

"So...nothing?" Rukia slapped him angrily.

"No, idiot," Renji's smirk faded away. He knew what she was thinking about. He rested a hand on her shoulder. She shook it off.

"I don't know many people," her words obviously took Renji by surprise. He gaped at her, head cocked slightly.

"W-What?" he stuttered, "Yeah you do, you know-"

"You, my brother, and the servants in the house," Rukia listed the people she knew. It really wasn't many. "I know there are more people in this world than that, Renji. I'm not stupid. Renji, how come I'm not allowed to go anywhere except here and the house?"

"How come you're asking so many damn questions all of a sudden?" Renji asked, failing to keep the annoyance out of his voice. "You've been asking a lot of questions lately, and you seem really chatty. What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing's wrong," Rukia said, "I'm just...tired of it. Tired of...of you running my life, you and Brother, tired of not knowing anyone else, tired of not knowing...of not knowing who I am!"

Renji sighed. He had known this day was coming eventually. There was nothing he could do about that. He knew a time would come when Rukia would want, independence, freedom, answers. He had hoped he wouldn't be around for it. Amnesia or not, Rukia wouldn't like being left out of the loop. She wouldn't stay quiet when she finally decided she wanted answera. And Renji wasn't overly certain he wanted to be the one to give them to her.

"Well, what do you want?" he asked finally, "Anything specific? Or will any little thing satisfy you for now?"

"People," it was an obvious answer. Renji was sure Byakuya would skin him alive when he found out he had brought Rukia out into the Seireitei. But Renji wasn't in the mood to answer any questions. So he stood up, held out his hand, and said, "Well then. Let's go find people then, shall we?" she looked at his hand as if unsure of what to make of it. And finally she took it, and he pulled her up. Their hands stayed intertwined for a second too long, and Renji's face burned brighter than his hair. Rukia pulled away suddenly.

"What's wrong?" she shook her head, suddenly looking upset.

"Nothing. It's nothing. Just..." he waited for an answer. "Something just doesn't feel right," Renji hesitated for a moment, then touched his hand to hers again. They stood like that for a few seconds, then Renji was the one to pull away, though it was with a heavy heart.

"You're right. It doesn't feel right," he took her arm and pulled her away. She didn't fight, but at the same time she didn't look overly pleased with being pulled around the way she was.

"Where are we going?"

"To find people," Renji said simply. She still didn't seem overly pleased with the arrangement of being pushed around. But Renji was the only way she was going to get what she wanted. So she kept quiet and let herself be led out of the sixth division. It was nice, she decided at once, walking instead of traveling by that damned Flash Step.

"Renji!" they had only been walking for a little while when someone shouted Renji's name. The man in question looked around.

"Hey Rangiku," he raised a lazy hand in greeting, "Hey Momo"

The lieutenants of Squad Ten and Five caught up to Renji and Rukia fairly quickly. They both stopped dead when they saw Rukia. "R-Rukia, what are you-" Momo looked around at Renji in surprise, "What's up?"

"Captain Kuchiki finally let her out of the shell?" Rangiku said, looking from Rukia to Renji, who shook his head.

"He doesn't know. And to be honest...I'd rather this didn't get back to him," Renji looked over at Rukia and smiled. She and Momo were talking now, and Rukia was actually smiling, for once. She seemed very comfortable, very at home, out on the streets. She probably would have blended right in had he brought her back to the Rukongai. But there was no way in hell that was happening.

"It's amazing, isn't it?" Renji was snapped out of his thoughts by Rangiku, who was watching Momo and Rukia. "She seems just like an innocent child right now. It's amazing how losing your memories can turn you into something you never were before"

"She's lucky she doesn't remember," Renji said bitterly.

"How do you figure?" Rangiku asked, tearing her eyes from Momo and Rukia, and looking back at Renji. "Sure, she forgot all the bad things she's had to deal with. But what about the good? What about all her friends? What about the life she lived in the living world? What about..." Rangiku lowered her voice significantly, "Ichigo and her son? She doesn't remember any of that. And I don't see anyone rushing to tell her"

"You know we're under strict orders not to-"

"S'not my place anyway," Rangiku shrugged, "You're the only one she trusts, that's just a little obvious. To have me or Momo, or anyone else who is a complete stranger, tell her the truth...I don't think she'd take it well. And anyways-" the Squad Ten Lieutenant sighed wearily, "I wouldn't want to deal with Byakuya Kuchiki if I was the one that told her the truth. I like my head attached to my body, thank you very much"

Renji laughed a little at that. Decapitation was probably nicest thing Byakuya would do. The red-haired Soul Reaper sighed and looked over at Rukia. "Hey," the girl in question looked around, "We'd better get going," she didn't look overly pleased by this. "Don't give me that look. I don't wanna hear it. If I don't get you home, I'll never hear the end of it from your brother. C'mon"

Rukia followed him, obviously aggravated. "Happy?" Renji asked as they walked. "Other people. Not all they're cracked up to be"

"That girl talked a lot," was all Rukia said.

"Momo," Renji supplied the name. "Yeah, she tends to do that. Once you get her going, I mean. Right after everything with Aizen she was really-"

"Who?" Renji sighed wearily. Of course she didn't know who he was talking about. And he wasn't in the mood to explain it.

"Never-mind. Nobody. Forget it," Rukia didn't look satisfied with that answer. But she didn't say anything about it.


Kaien didn't know what was going on. He didn't understand why, all of a sudden, everyone was trying to steal his father away from him. Aunt Yuzu, Aunt Karin, Grandpa, Aunt Orihime, Uncle Uryu, they were trying to take his father away. Why were they all so determined to tear apart Kaien's family?

"Your parents are ruining my life," Kaien informed Souken during a walk home from school. Souken looked around in surprise.

"You know, I say the same thing a lot," Kaien made a face.

"Souken, I'm serious. They're trying to take my father. Why are they doing that?"

Souken made a face and shrugged. "I dunno, Kai. They just want your dad to be happy. My mom told me-"

"Why does your mom think she knows more about my own father than I do?!" Kaien asked angrily, "How can she possibly think she knows him better, when I'm the one that lives with him, the one that sees him everyday, the one that's seen everything he's gone through! How could your mom possibly know more than me?"

"Why don't you ask yourself?" Souken pointed to the driveway of Kaien's house. It was empty. His dad was still at work. And Kaien hated being home alone. So he followed Souken to his house.

"Mom, I'm home!" Souken called as they walked inside. Orihime peeked out from the kitchen.

"Hey Souken! And Kaien too, hi! There's cookies in the kitchen if you want them," Kaien turned a shade of green.

"No thanks. Um, Aunt Orihime, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure, what is it?"

"Why are you taking my dad away from me?"

Orihime didn't look at all surprised by the question. "Souken, why don't you go watch TV?" the boy in question nodded and went into the living room. "Kaien, come upstairs with me," Kaien complied, and the two went up together. They went into Orihime's room, and the older woman pulled a photo album out of her closet. She and Kaien sat down on the bed together, Kaien curled against Orihime, who opened the album. Kaien stared at the first picture on the page. It was a picture of his mother. She was standing with Orihime, Uryu, and Ichigo. They all looked happy, even Kaien's dad, though he was trying to hide it. Kaien stared sadly at the picture. "My mom"

"Ichigo taught you well," Orihime smiled as she traced a slim finger around Ichigo's face, "Yeah, that's Rukia. She was a beautiful person, wasn't she?" Kaien nodded. "She and your father loved each other so much. I remember in high school, I had a crush on Ichigo. A big one. But I always knew Rukia was the one he had chosen. And I was okay with that," Orihime sighed dreamily, "But...anyways. Kaien, the point I'm trying to make here is that your father loved your mother a lot. He loved her more than life itself. But it's been eight years, he has to-"

"She could still come home!" Kaien said angrily, pushing himself up and glaring at Orihime, who sighed.

"Kaien, do you know what dead means?" she asked it patiently, giving Kaien no thought that she was being sarcastic.

"She could-"

"Kaien, I know it hurts," Orihime said quietly, laying a hand on Kaien's shoulder. "I know how it feels to lose someone you care about. And for you it's worse, you never even knew her. But Kaien, she's gone. She can't come back. It's not an easy thing to deal with, and it leaves a hole in you, I know-" she rested her hand over Kaien's heart, "It hurts worse here. And it takes awhile to heal. But it will. Time is the best medicine Kaien. With time, you accept the truth, and you move on. That's what you have to do Kaien. You and your father. You have to move on. Because as much as it hurts, Rukia is dead, Kaien. She can't come back"

Tears were swimming in Kaien's eyes. His bottom lip trembled, and for a minute he didn't know what to say. Then the words came to him. "You're wrong!" he sprang up, pushing away from Orihime. He pointed an angry, accusing finger at her. "You're wrong, you're wrong! She's alive, I know she is! She'll come back, she has to! If she really loves my dad and me, she'll come back! She will!"

He whirled around and ran out without another word. Orihime watched him run, sighing. He was so much like his father. He would never let go. He could never let go. Not Ichigo, not Kaien. They both loved Rukia. She would never be replaced in their hearts.


Author's Note - Hmn...well, that was interesting. Orihime actually made sense for once. Yeah, I'm scared too. Anyways, nothing much to say now except 'review'. So...review! - Sam