Disclaimer: I do not own Chicago Fire. It belongs to NBC, I'm just having fun.

Author's Note: Once again, I am updating much later than I would like. Let's just say that from now until the end of April, I will probably be updating once a week. Once I'm done with this semester I can update much more frequently! Summer break can't get here quickly enough, I tell you.

Italics are from Casey's POV.

As always, send me any thoughts you want to share with me about this chapter! I love the encouragement you all send my way.

Chapter 4

Casey's eyes fluttered open to blurriness. There was a couple of seconds there that he couldn't even make out where he was.

He was home; the dark striped comforter covering him told him that much.

There was someone in the bedroom with him; a female figure wearing a bathrobe, rummaging through the dresser. Her dark hair pulled back in a messy bun.

Hallie? He squeezed his eyes together and opened them up again. His mind was hazier than usual today. His vision started to clear.

It was Gabby, grabbing her clothes for the day out of the dresser. Casey shook his head as if to clear it. I must have dreamed about Hallie.

"Hey, babe. I didn't wake you up, did I?" Gabby pulled the CFD tee over her head. She looked like she was in a hurry this morning.

"No. Not at all. I just had a dream, that's all. It woke me up." Casey immediately regretted his words. He didn't want her asking questions like "what kind of dream".

He had no reason to worry. Gabby was a million miles away this morning. "I didn't wake the boys up yet. I thought I'd let them sleep in a little this morning, I know they were really tired last night."

"That's fine. They're not going to school until tomorrow, anyway. I was going to take them to get some new clothes and things like that a little later. I'll wake them up a little later for some breakfast."

"I started coffee. It's probably close to being done now, if you want some." She sat down on the edge of the bed to lace up her shoes. "Did the boys get to sleep okay last night?"

Casey sat up and moved closer to Gabby. "I think so. They were both pretty upset last night. Ben started asking me questions. Griffin dropped a bomb and said that their mom killed herself."

"What did you say to that?"

"I was as honest as I could be. I told them that their mom loved them and that Heather didn't mean for what happened to happen. I didn't really get too detail-oriented. I figure that if they want to ask more questions, they'll ask more questions."

"Sounds like a pretty safe bet." Gabby glanced at the alarm clock on the nightstand. "I better get going. I can't arrive late in my last week of training." She snaked a hand around the back of Casey's neck and pulled him closer before leaning in for a kiss. "Love you."

"I love you, too. Be careful." Please…

Casey lay back, letting his head fall back on his pillows. He had today off as a personal day. It was 8:30 already; the boys would be waking up soon, they would be ready for breakfast. He thought about what he could fix. His mind was checking off all the possibilities when he heard his phone beep.

It was a text from Severide. Coming over to see Dardens. Be there in 15.

Casey felt relieved that he would have an extra person around this morning; maybe he could even persuade Severide to help him with the boys. He replied to the text with a simple "Ok", hoping he didn't sound too unenthusiastic.

The hallway squeaked in front of the bedroom; one or both of the boys must have woken up and headed this way. The door slowly opened. It was Ben. I could have guessed it was Ben. Casey grinned. "Is that you, Ben Darden?"

The door creaked open. A small figure timidly nodded, rubbed sleep out of his eyes. "Yes, Uncle Matt. Is Aunt Gabby making pancakes this morning?"

"Not this morning. She already left for the Academy. I'll make you breakfast today."

"Oh. Okay." Ben hopped up on the bed and sat cross-legged. "Uncle Matt, I was thinking."

Casey furrowed his brows. "Uh-oh." He pressed his lips together in a mock pout.

Ben giggled. "I was thinking that we should get a dog."

Ben knows how to work it. He got that from Andy, that's for sure. "What would your brother think about getting a dog? They're a lot of responsibility, you know. You have to give them baths, take them for walks, and clean up after them." Not to mention the vet bills.

"Griffin says he wants a dog too. Mom wouldn't ever let us have one, but I think you like dogs. Don't you, Uncle Matt?" Ben turned those pleading eyes on Casey.

"I love dogs. I had a black lab when I was your age. She was my best friend." Casey reached out and ruffled Ben's hair. Now I'm going to have to say yes. "All three of us can talk to Gabby tonight when she gets home from the Academy. She likes dogs too. She trained Pouch to do all kinds of tricks. If she says yes, then all of us can go to the shelter on the weekend and look at the dogs. How does that sound?"

Ben nodded his head eagerly. "That sounds good." The doorbell rang, and poor Ben jumped, startled at the sudden noise. Casey laughed, "That's Uncle Kelly. Do you want to go let him in?"

Ben's eyes were wide. He hopped down from the bed and ran down the steps. He pulled open the front door to see Severide standing there, holding a paper bag. Severide's face split in a wide grin. "Ben. I'm so happy to see you." He scooped him up effortlessly in a warm embrace, dropping the bag inside the front door. Griffin must have woken up at the doorbell and the sound of Severide's voice, because he came bounding down the stairs next. "Kelly!"

Griffin wrapped his arms around Severide and his brother. Casey followed down the steps just in time to see the three hugging. He sat down on the bottom step; suddenly dizzy and light headed. He hadn't felt that way for a while; he hoped it was simply because he had just woken up and he hadn't eaten yet.

"G'morning, Kelly." Casey offered a wan smile. Severide noted the use of his given name, something he hadn't heard Casey call him for ages. "Hey, Matt. You just get up?"

"Pretty much. I haven't even had coffee yet. You want some?"

Severide nodded. "Sounds good. I brought breakfast if you guys are hungry. There's something else in here too." Severide reached into the paper bag and pulled out two Blackhawks jerseys. "Something to welcome you back to Chicago." He held the two shirts out to Ben and Griffin; both of them eagerly grabbed them and began to pull the tops over their pajamas.

Ben poked his head through the top. "Thanks, Uncle Kelly!"

"Yeah, thanks, Uncle Kelly. This is great." Griffin smiled a sleepy half-smile. "What kind of breakfast did you bring?"

Severide held out the bag. "I have bagels, yogurt, and fruit. Let's go eat. I'm pretty hungry too."


The food Severide brought disappeared within minutes. Ben and Griffin both drained the last of their orange juice before shoving empty plates away.

"You guys go get dressed. We're going shopping today for new school clothes." Casey's words met with groans from Ben and Griffin. "I know you hate shopping for clothes. If we get it done today we don't have to do it again for a while. Okay?"

Ben and Griffin pushed their chairs in and trudged upstairs. Severide finished off his coffee and reached for the pot, pouring himself another cup. "You want some more too?" Casey nodded and held out his cup.

"How are the boys holding up?"

Casey's eyes flashed. "It's hard to say. We had a pretty rough talk last night. Griffin told Ben that their mom killed herself. I told them that it was an accident, and they shouldn't think that about their mother. I had no idea what to tell them."

"Griffin's a character. He's just angry and he doesn't know what to do with that anger. At least he was talking about it."

"I guess so." Casey set down his coffee cup and massaged his temples. "I kept thinking about how everything has seemed so screwed up lately. I thought my life was over when I had to transfer to HQ. Now, it almost seems like everything happened for a reason. I'm a father now; a father of two boys who lost both their parents unexpectedly. I don't want something to happen to me too. Who would take care of Ben and Griffin if something happened to me?" Casey reached a shaking hand out to grab his coffee. "I almost hate to think that way, but that desk job is the best thing that could have happened."

Severide sipped at his coffee. He didn't buy Casey's bullshit for one second, but he didn't have the heart to call him on it, at least not now. He opted to change the subject instead; maybe a distraction from his melancholy was the best thing for Casey. "It's quiet upstairs. I don't hear anything. Maybe we should go check on them."

Casey got up and placed his coffee cup in the sink. "Probably a good idea, who knows what kind of shenanigans are going on, huh?" He smirked.

At the top of the steps, they could see Ben sitting on his bed, comic books spread all around him. Griffin wasn't anywhere he could see. Casey glanced into his bedroom; now he could see Griffin sitting on the edge of his bed, back hunched and shaking. He locked eyes with Severide. "Keep an eye on Ben for a minute, huh?" Severide glanced his way and nodded.

Casey gently rapped on the door jamb. "Hey. You wanna talk?"

Griffin didn't move. Casey sat down on the bed next to Griffin and wrapped his arm around him. Griffin angrily shoved away Casey's arm. "Get away. You're not my dad. I don't wanna talk. Go talk to Ben or something."

"Whoa, slow down. I never said I was your dad. No one can take your dad's place, especially not me. Kelly's helping Ben get ready. You don't want to tell me why you're crying in my room?"

Griffin scowled, then his face softened. He reached under the pillow and pulled out a frame. "I saw this and it made me sad. Sorry." He held out the frame to Casey. It was the same photo he had on his desk at work: Severide, Casey, and Darden at graduation from the Academy. Casey smiled. "Your dad was the biggest goofball at the Academy. Not just that year, but in the entire history of the Chicago Fire Academy. It's been documented." He stared at the photo. "He always knew how to make people laugh, how to cheer people up. I wish he was here for you. I'm sorry he's not."

Griffin fidgeted with his hands and stared at the floor. "Do you think that everything that happened with Mom was because she was sad that Dad died?"

"I don't know. Grief makes people do all sorts of things. Things they wouldn't normally do. Things they regret doing later. I can't say for sure."

"I miss my parents." Griffin sniffled. "I'm sorry."

Casey's eyes widened under his tense brows. "Don't be sorry. Sorry for what? You're the last person who needs to be sorry." He wiped at Griffin's wet cheeks with his sleeve. "Do you want to keep that picture in your room, so you can always look over and see your dad?"

"Yeah. I think Ben'd like that too." Griffin looked up at Casey, a sad half-smile on his face. Casey gave Griffin's shoulders a squeeze. "Let's go get your shoes then. You can show Ben that picture." Griffin left for his bedroom, wordlessly leaving Casey sitting on the edge of the bed by himself.

He exhaled a series of gasping breaths. Casey looked around anxiously, half-expecting Andy to show up and give him one of his famous pep talk-slash-ball-busts. He wasn't anywhere.

Figures the bastard wouldn't show up now, when I actually need him. Oh well.

He could hear laughing coming from Ben and Griffin's bedroom. Thank goodness Severide had shown up that morning. He owed him, big time. All the times recently that Severide had helped him out, made sure he was eating, or making sure he went to the doctor and took his medication.

He was a good friend. A constant.

God knows that's what he needs.