After a long hiatus due to AP testing, I present...

Wasurena Sou: Wither

"Kozue?" Miki's voice sounded through the bedroom door. I buried my head underneath the pillows, but I still heard his pretty voice. Damn that voice of his. It was so delicate and beautiful. It made me want to do unspeakable things to Miki. "Are you sick?" Yes, in fact I am. But not in the way you'd expect, dear brother.

"Yes." My voice didn't falter.

"Will you let me in?"

"No," I whispered, tears budding. Why was I like this? I was never like this. Just because Onii-chan was flirting with some orange-haired skank I was moping in my room like the most pathetic human being. Fuck Kaido for telling me about their little affair.

"Kozue!" he protested. I hate, hate, hated that voice. I yanked the door open.

"What the hell do you want, Miki?" I demanded. He recoiled, blue eyes hurt. I softened. "What?"

"Your boyfriend is at the door waiting for you," he informed me solemnly. I grabbed his collar. That's all he wanted? That was the only point of his interruptance of my musings? Nothing more? Did he not truly care for me? I raised my hand to slap him.

"Kozue?" I stopped. Not again, please. Not that timbre. Not that tone.

"Tell him to go home. I don't want to see that bastard ever again." I didn't care if Touga was the Student Council President.

"Would that make you feel better?" he asked earnestly. Yes, be kind now, when the damage is done. Be thoughtful now, when you already skewered my heart as if by a fencing sword. I collapsed on him, my arms around his neck. He stood stiffly.

"Yes, it would," I whispered.

"Um, Kozue? Would you let go of me now so I can send him off?"

"I can't," I murmured. Dazed, I looked up at his confused face. "When did you get taller than me, Miki? I wish we had stayed the same size forever." I kissed his brow, then pressed my lips against his. He tasted so sweet it sent delicious, sharp pain coursing through me. Then he shoved me away, so hard and so suddenly I crashed to the floor. My ankle twinged. Miki was shaking, his gorgeous face red and angry.

"What in the world was that?" he asked, appalled. "It was… disgusting. You're crazy, Kozue." I felt like laughing. He only just figured that out? "I'll blame the fact that you were sick." He shook his head, then wiped his lips on his sleeve as if to get rid of the kiss. He turned away and hurried down the stairs. I got up, even on my faulty ankle, and followed, wanting to tell him the truth. That I wanted him and he was mine and I was his and he couldn't deny the bond we shared. I stopped short at the bottom of the steps.

"Why hello, Kozue," Touga greeted, smirking.

"Sorry, President Touga," Miki started.

"I'm not sorry," I cut in. Touga knew! He had heard it all. I could tell from the way those violet eyes were mocking me. He was reveling in my pain. Why the hell had I made him my chosen boytoy? "You're leaving. Now." I shoved Touga out the door. He continued to act suave, striding out with the confident walk of a seasoned playboy. I closed the door behind him, locked it shut, and put the key in my bra.

"Can you let me out?" Miki asked. "I need to go to fencing club. Miss Juri is most likely waiting for me to start practice." I narrowed my eyes.

"Oh, so that's where you're seeing her. You don't have time for swim team because of piano, but of course you make time for 'Miss Juri' so that you can fool around with her in the fencing team locker room." Sarcasm infused every word.

"I don't fool around!" Miki defended. 'You're the one who fools around. You have a new boyfriend every week, Kozue. I'm worried about you."

"Says the boy who cares more about his girlfriend than his twin," I said nastily. I marched up to the bedroom and locked the door with another key. I leaned so that my back touched the door and slid down until I was sitting. Minutes later, there was a knock on the door. Just when I thought there would be. Miki hated conflict; he always had. He was always the first to make up.

"Forgive me, Kozue."

"No." I couldn't forgive him. Then none of this would mean anything. I heard a small rustle, and a small paper package slid out from under the door. I grasped it desperately.

"Juri's not my girlfriend, just my mentor. And I'm sorry I've been a little distant." I scoffed. A little distant, indeed. "You just don't seem like the same person anymore." Liar. He's the one who changed. The one who abandoned me. Us. "I just need to find my shining thing, and then everything will be alright." I didn't reply, and after a while I heard his footsteps go down the hallway. I opened the packet and ate the konpeito that I knew would be inside, the salty, bitter taste of tears mixing with the sugar.

Why was I on the other side of this door when we were locked in the same house? Why was there this divide? I should have locked him in this room with me and thrown the key out of the window. We would have lived and died together like we should. Why would we be twins otherwise? The last of the candy melted on my tongue. I was such a damned masochist.

I didn't want to kiss anyone else ever again; I could still feel the ghost of his lips. Like rose petals. Innocent rose petals that I had crushed and ripped to shreds because of my selfishness. Because of his selfishness. I seemed to always say things twice because he and I are the same person twice, and why he doesn't realize that and doesn't crave that is crippling to me. I observe my hands, the same pianist's fingers, long and graceful, as his. When I reach out, I can almost imagine his also reaching for me, grasping my hand and connecting our unbreakable missing link.