Arrancar Dreamtime

Notes: Once more, I do not own Bleach, but I do claim my original characters. From this point on, the MASKED guidebook's names will be used for arrancar. I will use the Bleach Wiki's Romanization. Also, despite this fact, no more arrancar besides my OCs will be shown here in this fic. I had an idea but I decided to do away with the memory recorder. So, enjoy the Kurotsuchi's destruction. It only takes one viewing to reveal everything. *Snicker*

Sherrein nervously spoke, "Kurotsuchi-taichō, we have a gift for you. It is the dream-recording machine invented by the late 8th Espada Szayelaporro Granz (His name is now one word, but I'll keep it as Szayel in most cases). It has brought terror and destruction to Las Noches over the past decade. We hope that you will have a pleasant experience while showing the private lives of the shinigami."

Mayuri curtly nodded and began to examine the mysterious machine as Nemu stared.

Two days later, the main area in Seireitei for shinigami meetings was crammed full of Captains, Lieutenants, and high-ranking officers, along with some Zanpakutō spirits materialized by Suikesshō. The crowd hushed as Mayuri walked onto the stage with Nemu.

Mayuri began to speak. "To all of Seireitei's high-ranking officers, I now present your dreams. Please enjoy.

Byakuya turned purple as Yoruichi gave a large snicker from behind. Rukia turned beet red and Nanao gave a death glare to her captain. The video began.

In a room full of flames, the Captain Commander sat in a rocking chair, snoring as his sword baked some potatoes."

The Captain Commander got some questionable glances.

It was teatime and Chōjirō was preparing a specialty. He put the tea in the instant tea machine and flicked the switch. It refused to turn on. Then there was a blast from the 12th Division offices as a rampaging Ashisogi Jizō in Bankai mode spewed tea all across Seireitei.

Chōjirō blinked twice and wondered what he was truly like. He got some stares.

Soi Fon and Yoruichi sat on a bench, eating various cat cookies and looking at cat magazines. The two talked about boring things and giggled. Yoruichi then whacked Soi Fon and left. Soi Fon returned home, threw a kunai into her lieutenant's face, and went off to bed in her room, which was filled with cat posters.

Byakuya blinked. Marechiyo simply stated, "Predictable." Soi Fon smirked as the next dream popped up.

Marechiyo sat in a room filled to the brim with expensive rice crackers infused with ginseng and other weight adding materials. He gorged and his little sister Mareyo entered. Marechiyo glared and hollered, mouth full of crackers, "Get away from my crackers, ugly one!" Mareyo left and Marechiyo continued to gorge himself.

Soi Fon said, "Predictable." Marechiyo turned paler than Ulquiorra ever was. Ayame tensed up as her dream entered.

Ayame walked round in a fan shop. She stared at various fans and then watched as Matsumoto chased Sherrein down the street. She exited and her handy Fujiyukihō crashed into Matsumoto's face. She told Sherrein to run, and Matsumoto fell. The Fourth Division arrived and Dravinn was unwilling to help, as was expected.

Yachiru wondered when snacks would appear again. Kira's tape malfunctioned and Unohana's tape was inserted.

In a field of medicinal herbs, Unohana challenged Kenpachi to a sword-fighting contest. He agreed and Unohana finished him off in two slashes. He fell, bleeding, and Unohana walked away. (Actually, Unohana is one of the most offensive Captains, surprisingly)

Kenpachi blasted reiatsu up and in five seconds, he was on the ground bleeding. Unohana gave an evil chuckle and gave him a full dosage of her death stare. He shivered. Isane whimpered.

FISH CAKE.

Isane collapsed and Dravinn immediately yanked a first aid kit out of his uniform. Isane breathed heavily, sweating. The others stared. Harunobu was next.

Harunobu recalled his enter to the Shinigami Men's Association for the mast manly cellphone. He once more returned to the Kill Phone, which sent thousands of prank calls to those on the Kill List. Iemura was on the list.

Harunobu dodged Iemura's fist and watched as Shirai's tape exploded. Hinamori was next, and nervous glances floated around the room.

To Be Continued.

Name Changes and additions:

Nnoitra Gilga

Yammy Llargo

Luppi Antenor

Apacci

Tesra Lindocruz

Di Roy Rinker

Shawlong Koufang

Nakeem Grindina

Loly Aivirrne

Menoly Mallia

Dondochakka Birstanne

Aisslinger Wernarr

Demoura Zodd