Author's Note: I am so sorry that this has taken so long to complete, I've fallen out of the habit of writing but am hoping to start posting regularly soon. This is dedicated to Lady Emma Wentworth who messaged me recently and encouraged me to complete this story - thank you again for your kind message! I found this difficult to complete but I hope that the ending is satisfactory for everybody that had reviewed and favourited this story. Torchwood is owned by the BBC.

Chapter Four

Several hours later and Jack was sat alone, still waiting for Ianto to regain consciousness. He had finally pushed the girls out of the Hub at around midnight; both had protested but a well timed yawn from Gwen had set Toshiko off yawning too and they had finally conceded to go home, on the basis that Jack contacted them as soon as Ianto woke up. Owen had wanted to stay and monitor his patient but the stress of the surgery had been draining and he had finally succumbed to sleep whilst resting for a moment on the communal sofa.

Jack looked at his watch and sighed heavily, the loud release of air cutting through the heavy silence that surrounded him bar the occasional shriek from Myfanwy and particularly loud snore from Owen. He shivered, the silence and darkness of the powered down Hub was reminding him of a morgue and he suddenly needed to say something, anything to distract himself.

"I nearly lost you today" Jack murmured, taking one of Ianto's hands in his own and stroking the back of it softly.

"Nearly but didn't" Jack muttered to himself firmly. "You came so close..." Jack's breathing hitched and he had to bite his lip to stop the tears swimming in his eyes from over spilling.

Jack struggled to regain control of his emotions and his voice shook as he said, "and when I find that bastard Blowfish that did this to you..." He leant back in his chair, still holding onto Ianto's hand and shook his head before vowing, "...he won't know what hit him."

Silence reigned once more as Jack stewed in his emotions; anger, guilt and worry consumed him from the inside out and he was suddenly reminded of what Toshiko had told him all those months ago.

"Rats" Toshiko whispered. "He's serving coffee and working all day feeling like rats are gnawing at his stomach Jack. How could we have dismissed his grief so quickly?"

"That pendant was dangerous" Jack said, continuing his thoughts out loud. "But it gave me a kick up the backside. That night I went to your house and it was the first time that we properly talked."

Jack paused, lost in good memories. "I think that was what made us become friends and then after Suzie..."

Jack grinned wolfishly and stroked Ianto's forehead with his free hand, "well until that night I had no idea that you could be so kinky with a stopwatch."

The smile slid off from Jack's face and he stared at his and Ianto's joined hands pensively. "I don't know what to do Ianto, how can we even test what I've done to you without causing you pain? What if I have cursed you for eternity?" Jack bit his lip and whispered, "you'll hate me forever."

A pained groan stopped Jack's thoughts in their tracks and he gripped Ianto's hand tighter, "Yan?"

Ianto's eyeballs moved rapidly under his eyelids and they eventually opened for a moment before Ianto squeezed them shut again and groaned louder.

"Yan?" Jack said urgently. "Can you hear me?"

Ianto opened his eyes again and panicked as he registered the oxygen mask on his face, he raised his hand weakly and ineffectually tried to pull it off.

Jack stood up and gently stopped him, "shh Yan. You need to keep that on, I need you to take normal breaths okay?"

Jack looked up and yelled, "Owen! He's awake!"

A startled grunt signalled that Owen was awake and within a minute the doctor was down in the medical bay and checking Ianto's vitals.

Ianto again pulled at his mask and managed to get it off, "what happened?" he croaked.

Jack gently coaxed the mask back onto Ianto's face and held both of the young man's hands within his own. "You were shot, do you remember?"

Ianto's eyes widened and he nodded slowly.

"You'll be fine though Tea Boy" Owen said, taking over Jack's explanation. "Somehow ..." Owen looked at Jack and then back down at Ianto, "the bullet managed to miss all of your organs and spine. You'll be sore for a while though and I'll be signing you off from the Archives for a few weeks and fieldwork for a few more on top. I'll check how you're healing up and we'll go from there. You'll have an impressive scar to show all the chicks though."

Ianto's mouth crooked slightly in amusement before his eyes began to droop again.

"Rest Yan" Jack said and kissed his forehead. "Just rest."

-TW-

The next time Ianto woke up he felt like he'd been hit by a truck.

A loud groan alerted Owen to the fact that his patient was awake and he immediately started fussing over Ianto. "How are you feeling?" he asked.

Ianto breathed heavily and pulled the oxygen mask off from his face, "like I've been shot."

Owen couldn't help but grin; if Ianto was being sarcastic it could only be a good sign. "Well your vital signs are looking good" he said, looking at the nearest screen. "Your surgery went well. Luckily... well the bullet obviously caused minimal damage by the looks of it."

Ianto was still too groggy to pick up on Owen's hesitation, "so we're all good" he murmured.

Owen looked down at Ianto, a frown creasing his forehead. "Yeah..." he said quietly. He shook his head slightly, "I still want to keep an eye on you for signs of infection but Ianto... you're one lucky guy."

Ianto smiled weakly, "thanks Owen... you saved my life."

Owen picked up his clipboard and looked at it, ignoring Ianto's gratitude. On one hand, he hated getting praise for doing his job and on the other hand, he wasn't even sure if he was the one who saved Ianto's life.

"Where's Jack?" Ianto asked.

Owen's frown deepened and he threw down his clipboard, "Toshiko found the blowfish that did this to you, it was the only thing that could drag Jack away from your side."

Ianto's eyebrows shot up as he realised what Owen was saying and wasn't sure how to feel. The blowfish deserved all he was getting for risking his life but Ianto also knew that Jack was capable of terrible acts and didn't want the man to go down the dark road of revenge.

Owen touched his ear and Ianto realised that somebody must be talking to him via the comm.

"He's awake" Owen said shortly. He then rolled his eyes and said, "Toshiko says to say hello."

Ianto gave a small smile and lifted his hand slightly, his arm feeling like a lead weight.

"Tea Boy says hello back, now did you find the blowfish?" Owen listened intently and then said goodbye to Toshiko.

"The blowfish?" Ianto asked when Owen began to pace up and down his small Autopsy Bay.

"Sushi" Owen replied quietly.

Ianto closed his eyes, not sure if he was pleased or not to know that the blowfish was dead and not really appreciating Owen's dark humour. He opened his eyes again and found Owen staring at him. "What is it?" he asked, knowing that there was something that the medic wasn't telling him.

Owen sighed heavily and said, "I'm sorry Ianto but I need to tell you something..."

-TW-

The siren alerted Ianto and Owen to the fact that the team had arrived and with a small nod towards the younger man, Owen left the Autopsy Bay.

Jack practically ran down the stairs, ignoring the still shocked and horrified expressions of his female teammates.

"Ianto" he breathed, surprised to see that his lover was sitting propped up.

"Jack" Ianto said quietly, looking away from his lover at the sight of the blood that covered his clothes.

Jack grabbed Ianto's hand and asked, "how are you feeling?"

Ianto met his lover's gaze and whispered, "like I could live forever."

Jack felt like he'd been winded by Ianto's words and closed his eyes tightly, "Owen told you?"

Ianto touched his lover's chin and waited for Jack to look at him again before saying simply, "yes."

Ianto then touched his lips against Jack's softly before pulling away and saying, "thank you for saving me."

Jack shook his head and tried to ignore the tears that started to trickle down his cheeks, "I nearly lost you."

"But you didn't" Ianto insisted urgently, "I'm here Jack."

Jack roughly wiped his cheeks and sighed heavily, "you're here now" he muttered. "But what if I've cursed you? You'll hate me."

"Do you hate the Doctor?" Ianto asked. "Or Rose?"

Jack shook his head but added, "I have though at certain points in my life... and I'll hate myself forever if I've cursed you."

Ianto looked at his lover's tearstained and tired face and didn't know what to think. He felt such a multitude of emotions, it was too much to take in; anger at Jack for possibly condemning him to a long and potentially lonely existence, fear of losing everything including his own humanity but also love, because Jack had only done what he did out of love.

It was exhausting just thinking about it and Ianto suspected that his feelings were just the tip of the iceberg and that comprehension of forever hadn't truly set in.

"Only one way to find out" Ianto murmured.

Jack watched with wary eyes and was stunned as Ianto pulled a scalpel from underneath his blanket and ran it across his other hand.

"Ianto!" Jack shouted, grabbing some gauze from Owen's workstation and pressing it against the wound.

Ianto winced and breathed heavily, "I need to know!"

Jack's hand covered his own, pressing the gauze down and the two men stared at their hands joined together.

"I'm too afraid to move my hand" Jack whispered, his eyes not moving from where they were locked with Ianto's.

"Me too" Ianto said shakily.

Slowly Jack moved his hand, revealing that Ianto's fingers were clenched tightly over the gauze, which was stained a deep red. Slowly, Ianto unfurled his fingers and the gauze dropped limply onto his blanket.

Jack couldn't breathe as both relief and disappointment crash over him as he took in the jagged wound still oozing blood.

"You would have healed by now" Ianto whispered, closing his fingers over the gauze again and pressing it against his hand.

"Yeah" Jack said shakily, "I would have." He forced a fake grin, "you're fine... you're not like me."

"I'm sorry Jack" Ianto said, an odd expression crossing over his face.

"Don't be!" Jack said sharply. "I wouldn't force this kind of existence on my worst enemy let alone somebody that I love."

Ianto surged forward and kissed Jack, desperation making them hold onto each other tightly.

After a few moments of just simply sitting and resting their foreheads against one another's, Jack wrinkled his nose and shifted uncomfortably, "I need to get changed. Get Owen to bandage your hand."

"Yeah" Ianto whispered shakily.

Jack kissed Ianto's forehead and said, "I'll be right back."

Jack left the Autopsy Bay and Ianto exhaled loudly, his eyes squeezed shut and his fist tightly closed. Tears leaked from his eyes and he slowly opened his hand again. What he saw stole all of the breath from his body and his palm itched unbearably.

There was no blood. There was no wound. There was no scar.