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Chapter Four:

Things did not slow down between her and Jake over the next month. It was sometimes difficult to find time, given both their work schedules, but they made it work. That did not mean, however, that things were perfect.

"So, how are things going with the nark?" Valerie asked, as they sat beside each other on the couch, glasses of wine in hand

"I'm pretty sure only criminals can call a cop a nark." Lucy said, "Things are going well, but I think I'm entering that stage where the guy's flaws all jump out and smack in the face."

"I'm sure the red flags are imaginary." Valerie assured her, "You do have a habit of being over critical of men."

"He eats gummy bears for breakfast, his apartment looks like a frat house, and he writes like a five-year-old." Lucy listed, "Basically, I don't think he's ever gone through puberty."

"That is pretty bad." Valerie admitted, "But you've complained about these things before, so it's not new. Why is it a problem now?"

"Because I'm over thirty with a ten-year-old son. I don't have time, to waste time." She explained, "I'm looking for a potential partner and father for my son. He has to meet certain standards."

As terrible, and as vain, as it sounded, there were certain very apparent differences between them about very important things. She was a meticulous planner, he was carefree improviser. She was a saver, and he spent money he didn't have like he didn't care. There wasn't time for her to wait for him to grow up. It didn't matter how much she liked him, if he was just another child for her to look after.

"Like what, being a millionaire?" Valerie asked, "You're not gonna get that again."

"Like being adult with a stable life."

"He has a job." She pointed out, "Why are you so against him? A guy hasn't made you this happy in awhile. Don't self-sabotage this."

"I can't help it. You know I stress out about all the possibilities."

"That's why his laid back attitude fits you perfectly." Valerie said, "Opposites attract."

Before she could reply, they were interrupted by a knock on the door, causing her to push herself up onto her feet. She had to admit that they both had valid arguments. Jake did make her laugh, but sometimes she felt like she'd met Preschoolers with higher emotional intelligence. Everyone had their quirks and weird habits. Only time would tell if their quirks and habits meshed well, and she'd just have to risk waiting.

Of course, when you speak of the devil, he appears.

"Jake," she said, "What are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to you, about something with my work." He replied, "This, is kinda hard."

"Did you get fired? Did you get shot?" She asked, "Did you get reassigned to Staten Island? Because I'm not following you there."

"No, I'm going undercover." He said, "I'm helping to take down a crime family."

"How long will this be?" She asked, trying to mask her dissapointment, "Weeks, months, years?"

"Six months." He said, "And, I know that's a long time, so, I won't ask you to wait,"

"But if I do?" She asked, "Do we just, see what happens when you get back?"

"Yeah, I guess." Jake said, attempting and failing to hide his smile, "I'm sorry, I'm just really happy you said that. But, there's no pressure, if you meet someone else."

"Thanks, I guess." She said, "Um, do you want to go and tell Noah? He's upstairs."

"Probably should."

Following him, she waited outside, listening intently to the conversation between him and Noah. She was just glad that they'd only known each other for two months. He could dissapoint her, but not her son. Though, she'd be lying if she claimed that she wouldn't miss him.

"He seemed to take it well." Jake said, joining her in the hallway, "Made me promise to come back with awesome stories. Which I of course, will."

"That's good." She said, "I'll walk you out."

Awkwardness passed over them as they made their way outside. Neither knew entirely what to say. They are hardly in a committed relationship, but there was also hardly nothing between them.

"So, I guess this is goodbye." Lucy said, crossing her arms, her gaze towards the ground,

"Nah," he said, "More like a, see you later."

"Then I'll see you in six months." She said, barely masking the sadness, "Don't be late."

"Would you like a romantic not goodbye but see you later kiss?"

"Absolutely."

The kiss was hurried, full of everything they felt but hadn't said. Pulling him closer, she wrapped her arms around his neck, his hand cupping her cheek. They backed up against the wall, and it was only when she let out a small moan did she realise her son and best friend were still in the house.

"That's going to have to hold you up for six months." She said, her hands on his chest, "Because we're not having a quickie on my front lawn."

"Yeah, that probably wouldn't end well. Grass everywhere." He agreed, "But I also really don't want to leave."

"If you don't go now I'll probably end up handcuffing you."

"If it's to your bed, then definitely." He nodded, "If it's to you, then I don't know how I feel about going to the toilet in front of someone I've only known for two months."

"I've seen you eat mayonnaise straight outta a jar," she said, "Nothing else you could do could possibly gross me out."

"And I love you for that." He responded, obviously without really thinking because his eyes widened when he realised what he said

"You love me?"

"Yes. No. Maybe. I'm not even sure what I'm saying anymore." Jake rambled, letting out a sigh before continuing, "I do. I was thinking about it a lot on the way over, and I love you. And it's not because I'm about to go away. But I do." He said, backing down the steps, "Anyway, I should probably go now."

"Well then, I'll see you in six months," she called out, grinning at him, "Loverboy."

Stepping back into the house, she couldn't wipe the smile off of her face. She wasn't claiming to reciprocate his feelings, but she knew she was well on her way to the border of love territory. But now he was gone. And she had six months to regret not saying it back.

"So," Valerie said, holding out the wine glass to her, "He's leaving."

"He loves me."

"Yeah, but he's leaving."

"Yeah, but he loves me."