Well I had a really hard time writing this chapter, I'm having trouble getting inside Booth's head. Brennan is much easier for me to relate to. But here it is after a long struggle. I'd like to thank one of my reviewers for inspiring part of this chapter, they will know who they are when they read it. Enjoy chapter 4, and have a very Merry Christmas everyone =)


The church was warm and smelt of incense. The pews were filled with people, from all throughout his life. Sitting in the front row was a tiny old lady wearing a dark blue dress, her hair pinned up in a striking bun but her face was adorned with a soft smile.

"Gran?" Booth spoke, his voice was almost as ghostly as he felt the woman in front of him was.

"Seeley, darling" his grandmother, who was long passed away, whispered his name and he rush to kneel before her.

"Gran, what are you doing here?"

"You didn't think I'd miss my favorite grandson's wedding did you?" she retorted.

"But… but you're…"

"Dead?" she interrupted "Pish posh! That's not important, what's important is that it's your wedding day, and you're marrying the woman who you love and who will always keep you happy"

Booth only smiled at her.

"You have my ring?" she asked, and he nodded in reply patting his breast pocket.

"Good boy, now you get up there and marry her" Booth resumed his position in front of the alter and stood to face the church doors. The organ began to sound the first notes of the wedding march and the doors opened slowly to reveal his bride.

She was a goddess in white, the veil barely masking her beautiful face and her soft brown hair was arranged in curls and pins to keep it in place. His Bones smiled widely as she began her walk down the long aisle towards him, he smiled back.

It seemed like an age before the organ was quiet and she was standing before him, still smiling he held out his hand and took hers walking her to stand with him in front of the alter. They shared one last loving glance before Booth turned to face the priest.

"We are gathered here today, to join this happy couple in holy matrimony" the priest said, loud enough for everyone to hear.

"Do you Seeley Joseph Booth, take Hannah to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"Hannah?" he froze, the woman beside him wasn't supposed to be Hannah. He turned his head to check, and instead of brown tresses he saw blonde locks, instead of warm brown eyes he saw cold blue ones.

"No" he whispered "No!"

"Seeley?" the woman spoke and it was Hannah's voice

"No!"

"Seeley?" someone shook him

"NOO!" he cried out, shooting upright.

"Seeley, it was just a dream" the voice broke through his consciousness and he took in his surroundings. He was in his apartment, sitting in his chair again. The morning sun shone through the windows and Hannah stood next to him, dressed for work with her bag slung over her shoulder.

"What?" Booth asked

"You were dreaming" she said again "When did you get home?"

"Uh, I'm not sure" he said, rubbing his eyes and thinking about what he'd just dreamt.

"Must have been late" she continued, not noticing his distress in that moment "You weren't hear when I woke up at three, did you have a development in the case or something?" she asked.

"Or something" he said quietly, "The case is finished" he added.

"Oh, good. Well I'm going to work. You should probably get some sleep" she kissed the top of his head and turned on her heels. "See you tonight" she called back as she shut the apartment door, leaving him alone again.

He got up and went into the bedroom, his side of the bed was left untouched, but Hannah's was unmade and her pajamas were on the floor. Booth picked them up and through them in the hamper, then went over to his dresser and pulled out the carved wooden music box that was once his mothers.

Opening it he withdrew the small velvet pouch and opened the drawstrings, tipping the contents into his hand. Now lying on his palm was his grandmother's golden ring, still shiny from her diligent care for it. After a long moment he put the ring back in its pouch, but instead of putting it back in the box, he slid it into his pants pocket. He'd always kept this ring hidden and safe, but right now he felt like it should be close to him.

He sat himself down on the bed and not realizing how exhausted he was, fell asleep still in his suit pants and buttoned shirt, his cocky belt buckle pushing against his stomach in his upright sleeping position.

He dreamed again, but this time it was about last night's kiss, his tongue in her mouth, and her soft lips teasing him, making him crazy. The kiss was intense, it was hot and real and raised feelings inside of Booth that had been suppressed for so long. Pushed up against the counter he could feel her body from top to toe, his fingers in her soft hair. Then Hannah's face had appeared in his minds eye and he was ridden with guilt. As quickly as the kiss had started he pulled away and before he could say or do anything he'd regret, he left.

He woke with a start, he'd only been asleep for a short while and was still exhausted but not wanting to dream again, wouldn't go back to sleep. Instead he showered, put on a fresh suit and with his grandmother's ring burning a hole in his pocket he went into work. He still had paperwork to finish for the Lauren Eames case, and even if he was falling asleep at his desk that would serve as a distraction from the past twenty four hours.

Or at least he thought it would, three hours later he was sitting at his desk staring at the still untouched stack of paperwork and thinking about Bones, and Hannah and the messed up predicament he'd somehow managed to get himself into. He contemplated his next move, maybe he'd run away – not facing the confrontation seemed like a great idea to him. He could take Parker and go camping for a few days and just spend some quality time with his son, and not have to deal with any of this until he got back. He sent Rebecca a text to see if his weekend with Parker could start tonight instead of tomorrow morning because of his plans, he knew she'd be annoyed but he didn't care. Before he got a response he stood from his leather chair and holstered his gun and went to blow off some steam in the basement shooting range. If he'd waited a few minutes before leaving his office he would have run into the woman who had been plaguing his thoughts as she left Doctor Sweets' office.

He signed into the FBI Gun Gallery and settled himself in at window six, farthest from the door, and pegged on a target. In the dark room, with the ugly orange earmuffs covering his ears he focused on the feeling of the gun in his hand. The weight of the cold metal felt natural in his hand, he felt, rather than heard the click when he unlatched the safety and reveled in the slight contraction of his arm muscles as he squeezed the trigger. His stance held steady as the bullet fired and flew across the distance, hitting the target square in the heart. He fired his gun again, and again. Six bullets, six kill shots, three to the heart, three to the head – his aim was impeccable. Through his muffed ears he heard a dull thudding, and turned to see Lance Sweets leaning against the wall behind him clapping. Annoyed at the interruption, especially by Mr. Psychoanalytical who was sure to have some irritatingly accurate advice for him.

"Sweets" Booth muttered, pushing the muffs back so that they hung around his neck and reloading his weapon "What can I do for you?" he asked.

"I think the more accurate question would be, what can I do for you Agent Booth?" he responded stepping forward. Booth laid his gun on the ledge of his window and sighed.

"Nothing" he retorted "I don't need anything from you right now"

"Doctor Brennan came to speak to me" he interjected, Booth looked bewildered for a moment, Bones didn't believe in psychology so why would she go and visit Sweets?

"And?" was Booth's attempt at appearing aloof.

"And I thought that you would want to talk about it," Sweets replied.

"Nope" Booth said picking up his gun again.

"Agent Booth, I understand that you must be confused right now, but I find it difficult to comprehend why you are being so resistant to Doctor Brennan's feelings, I know you have felt the same way about her for a long time now"

"Sweets" Booth sighed "Just leave it okay? This is between me and Bones, and frankly it's none of your damn business what I do about it."

"There's no need to be aggressive with me Agent Booth, I simply meant to seek you out in case you needed a friend to speak with"

"Then be a friend Sweets, and stop being a shrink for a minute," Sweets was silent, and allowed Booth to continue.

"I know I've been waiting for this moment Sweets, and yeah, I'm as confused as hell. I don't know what I'm feeling anymore, I'd given up on any hope that Bones would ever want me." He paused and took a deep breath "And I can't just drop everything for her, she's a gamble Sweets and you know I can't take a risk like that, she changes her mind like she changes her clothes. I never know what she wants."

"She wants you" Sweets interrupted

"Today she wants me. Tomorrow she wants to be alone. I can't keep up. I'm not a gambling man, not anymore at least, I can't put all my bets on her when she's such a risk."

"But you are a gambler Booth, I don't mean to say you still have a problem with betting money, you don't. But when it comes to your personal life you always follow your heart. Why is this any different? Why not take another leap of faith?" Sweets stepped closer and made sure Booth was looking him in the eye "Is it really a risk, when you could gain love?" he questioned. For a long moment Booth stared him down, and then suddenly pushed him away.

"It's not that simple Sweets" he muttered "I'm with Hannah now, and Hannah is safe" then he walked away, he was almost to the door of the gun room when he heard Sweets call after him.

"You'll lead a sad life if all you do is wager on what you know to be safe"

He didn't turn back, he didn't acknowledge Sweets' comment, but he kept walking. Checking his phone he had a reply from Rebecca saying that if he could pick up Parker by four thirty then he could have him early. The time above the message said three fifty so he hurried to the parking garage and went to pick up his son, instead of pondering Sweets' advice any longer. He just needed to think, he just needed to get away.


Review if you can, I honestly appreciate them more than I can say.

I hope Santa brings you all lots of goodies =)