*Thank-you for the reviews on the last chapter. They were greatly appreciated. Thank-you all so much!*
"How's he doing?" asked Beth as she sat down next to me in the waiting room.
"He's in surgery right now," I said as I held a tissue in my hand. "They are repairing his lung that was collapsed in the accident. They said it will help him breathe better so they took him in for surgery." It had been a couple days since the accident and I had yet to have gone home. I hadn't slept either. I was scared to sleep. I was scared that the moment I closed my eyes that I would lose him. I hadn't eaten anything either. Roman's mom and dad had been taking care of Kalea at our home while I stayed at the hospital. Kalea had been asking for days to see her Mama and Daddy.
"Did they say how long it would be?" she asked.
"No not at all," I said. "I just want them to get him fixed up so that he can go home soon."
"Mama," said Kalea as she came running into the waiting room after letting go of Sika's hand. She ran over to me and hugged me with her tiny arms.
"Hey, Baby Girl," I said with a smile as I picked her up in put her on my lap. "Mama missed you," I said giving her a kiss.
"I miss you," she said looking up at me with her dark brown eyes. "Where's Daddy?" she asked looking around the room.
"Daddy had an accident," I said. "He got hurt really bad. He has a lot of boo-boo's," I said. "The doctors are working on him."
"Oh," she said. "I miss Daddy."
"I miss him too," I said with tears in my eyes before I kissed the top of her head. "But you know what as soon as we can we're going to go see him okay?"
"Okay, Mama," she said.
"Mama has to tell you something about Daddy," I said to her. She was only 3 going on 4 so I wasn't sure how to tell her the news about her dad or how she would handle it. I wasn't even sure if she would understand it. "When Daddy had his accident he got hurt really bad. He's going to be a little different. He might not know who you are at first but that's okay. He still loves you and one day he will know who you are. Daddy can't talk either but he tries. Everything is going to be okay but things are going to be a little bit different with Daddy," I said. I still felt that was over the top for a 3 year old but I didn't know how else to put it. "Okay? He just needs our love."
"Okay, Mama," she said to me but I'm not sure she really understands. It's sad knowing how different our lives are going to be but I can only take life one day at a time right now. I'm just trying to get my fiancée to make it through this. I can't think about tomorrow, I can only think about today.
"How are you holding up, dear?" asked Beth snapping me out of my thoughts as I held Kalea in my arms.
"I'm okay," I said. "Just trying to get through each day," I said.
"Have you even slept?" she asked.
"No," I said. "I haven't slept for days. I'm just so scared to fall asleep because I'm scared that the moment that I do I'm going to lose him. I can't sleep."
"You really need to get some rest," she said, "you know it's good for the little bean."
"I know," I said.
"What's a little Bean?" asked Kalea.
"Nothing, Sweetie," I said. "Mama just has a surprise for you and Daddy."
"Oh," she said, "Is it a bean?"
"Sort of," I said with a smile as I played with her partially curly hair that falls to the middle of her back.
"And have you eaten?"
"Not hungry," I said.
"I know there's a lot going on with Roman, Nora but I need you to take care of yourself. You have to think about the bean and your health. Not sleeping and not eating is not a good thing for any of you. You need to be 100% for Roman. I'm going to get you something to eat," she said.
"No, Beth, I'm fine," I said.
"No, Nora, you need to eat," she said as she stands up. "Kalea, do you want to come with Nana to get your Mama something to eat?"
"Yes," she said jumping off my lap.
"Okay," she said taking her hand. "We'll be back, Nora, anything specific that you'd like?"
"I'm really not hungry," I said.
"You need to eat something," she said, "and you're going to eat."
"All right," I said reluctantly. The truth was my stomach was too sick to eat between my morning sickness and worrying about Roman I wasn't hungry.
Sika took a seat next to me and said, "I'm worried about him too. Roman is a good man. He's a good son."
"He is the greatest man I know," I said. "He's my rock, he's my heart and my soul. He's everything to me. If something happens to him I don't know what I would do."
"He is going to be okay. I know he is going to be okay. Roman is a fighter, he has always been a fighter. He has a good strong family gene running through his body. We come from a line of fighters. He's a fighter. He's going to fight his way through this. It's not going to be easy but he's going to do it but he can't do it alone. He's going to need you. He needs you to be healthy so he can lean on you and your baby needs you to be healthy. Your baby is depending on you. You need to keep yourself strong and healthy. They both need you. It's not going to be easy, Nora but you and Roman are strong people but together you're even stronger. You're going to get through this. You two will be each other's strengths."
"I hope he is okay," I said. "I'm just really scared right now, Pops. I can't lose him. We have so much planned in life. We're supposed to grow old together and die together when we're 100. We're not supposed to live without each other or live without the other. If something happens to him, Pops, I'm going to lose my other half, a part of my soul. I'm so scared right now," I said before I broke down crying and Sika wrapped me up in his arms for a hug allowing me to cry on his shoulder. It felt good to just cry, to let it all out, to have someone comfort me as I cried. It was a great feeling.
"Why are you sad, Mama?" asked Kalea when she and Beth returned back to the waiting room with a chicken salad sandwich for me and a bottle of water.
"I'm just thinking about Daddy," I said with a smile. "What do you have there?" I asked her as she was holding a candy bar in her hand.
"A chocolate bar," she said with a smile. "I love chocolate."
"Me too," I said with a smile before I tickled her making her giggle. For the first time in days hearing my daughter's giggles made me want to smile. Beth hands me my food and I thanked her for it. She's right I have to take care of myself not only for me but for Roman, the baby and for Kalea. All three of them were depending on me and if I wasn't 100% I couldn't take care of them.
About an hour after his surgery, that went very well and they were able to repair his collapsed lung and he was awake after the surgery I went in to see him first before I had Beth bring Kalea in. I wanted to prepare Roman for our little girl. I walked into the room to see him awake and he gave me a big smile when I saw him. I smiled back at him and made my way over to him. "Hey, Baby," I said with a smile before I kissed his cheek. "The doctor said your surgery went very well and that you're going to be fine. He said depending on how things look in a couple days you get to go home. You want to go home?" I asked. He shrugged his shoulders at me. "Home would be a lot more comfortable," I said, "you can sleep in our bed, watch whatever you want on TV and you can see our little girl every day. Do you want to go home?" he nodded his head yes.
"H-H-O-M, HOM," he said making me smile.
"That was good," I said with a smile. "You almost said it. That was good, Baby." He gave me a smile and reached for my hand. I gave it to him and he took my hand to his mouth and kissed my knuckles softly before he let it go to sign that he loved me in sign language. "I love you too," I said with a smile before I kissed his lips softly. "There's a special visitor out there that wants to see you. I hope that you don't mind but I brought our daughter Kalea to see you. Do you remember me telling you about Kalea?" I asked. He nodded before I pulled out my phone to show him a picture of our little girl. "This is Kalea," I said showing it to him. He smiled at the picture and then touched the screen on her face. "That's your daughter. She loves you very much. Do you want to see her?" He nodded yes before I walked over to the door to get Kalea.
"Mama, can I see Daddy now?" she asked me in her squeaky voice. "I want to see Daddy," she said as I got down onto her level.
"You're going to see him but I want to remind you that he can't say your name and can't really talk to you. He will try. He may not recognize you either but he deep down he knows he is your daddy. He's going to have a lot of machines and wires on him but he's okay."
"Okay, Mama," she said before I stood up and took her hand. Beth tried to walk with us. "While I appreciate you being here I think that right now I need to do this alone with Kalea," I said.
"Okay, Nora, I understand," she said. "I understand."
"Thank-you," I said with a smile before Kalea and I walked into the hospital room.
"Hi, Daddy!" said Kalea with excitement and a big smile on her face that she inherited from her father. He gave her a big smile and then waved at her. She waved back at him before she pulled me over to see him. "I love you, Daddy," she said before she wrapped her arms around him. I saw the tears forming in his eyes as he rubbed her back. He knew her. He felt the connection they always had with one another. Kalea is a daddy's girl 100%. They have a very special bond with one another. Roman would read to her every night from the same book. She loves it. He would tuck her into bed every night and when he wasn't working he would be outside playing with her or playing in her room with her. There are no dads as great as Roman in my eyes. He is an amazing father. He and Kalea are very close and to see that he was feeling that bond, that connection melted my heart. I placed my hand on my stomach as I watched them interact.
That's when I started to realize that our new baby wasn't going to get to know the old Roman. He or she will never get to run or play soccer with him in the backyard. They will never get to know the Roman that Kalea knows and she will no longer know the Roman that has been her dad since she was born. He'll never really be the same man I love again either. Everything is going to be different now for all of us. I couldn't help but to smile at his interaction with Kalea. Kalea was telling him all about preschool and telling him how she colored me a birthday card. He was really listening to her and the smile on his face was one of great joy. I read them both the book that he read to Kalea every night called , "If I Could Keep You Little". The doctor thought it would be a great idea to help bring back his memory but it didn't really help. He liked the book but there was no progress with him getting his memory back. "All right," I said after I finished the book. 'It's time for you to go home with Nana and Papa, Kalea."
"I want to be with Daddy," she said with a pout. "Please can I stay?"
"Not tonight. If everything goes well Daddy will be home in a few days okay?"
"Okay," she said sadly before she looked at Roman. "Bye, Daddy," she said sadly. He waved to her and she hugged him. "I love you, Daddy," she said before she kissed his cheek making him smile. He touched his heart and then touched hers to let her know that he loved her.
"He's telling you that he loves you," I said as I wiped tears from my eyes.
"I love you too," she said with a smile. "Bye, Daddy," she said before I walked her out of the room.
"Mama will be home soon. I have to stay with Daddy but I'll be home soon," I said as I was down on her level looking at her in her brown eyes. "I promise."
"Okay, Mama," she said. "Will Daddy come home with you?"
"Yes, Baby Girl," I said. "Daddy will come home with me I promise."
"Okay, Mama. I love you."
"I love you too," I said before I wrapped her up in a hug. "You want to know a surprise?" I asked her as I saw her ready to cry when I broke the hug and gave her a kiss on the cheek.
"I like surprises," she said.
"You can't tell Daddy yet okay?"
"Okay," she said. "What is it?" she asked curiously.
"You're going to be a big sister soon," I said with a smile. "Mama has a baby in her tummy."
"You do?" she asked.
"I do," I said with a smile.
"Is it a boy or a girl?" she asked.
"I don't know yet," I said, "but I'll know soon but you're going to be a big sister."
"I want to be a big sister," she said with a smile. "I love you, Mama."
"I love you too," I said with a smile before I kiss her cheek softly. "I'll see you soon okay?"
"Okay," she said before giving me one last hug before Beth and Sika took her home for the night before I made my way back into Roman's hospital room. He sat holding the book in his hand looking at the cover.
"You okay?" I asked. He nodded his head yes before I crawled into the hospital bed with him. "Everything is going to be okay," I said. "There's so much joy ahead for us," I said as he wrapped his arm around me. "You have no idea. This is just the storm right now but we're going to get a rainbow. I'm here for you, Roman. You're not going to be alone. I love you." I kissed his cheek softly. "I love you," I said before sleep took over me and I fell asleep in his arms with my head resting on his shoulder and the sound of machines beeping in the room.
Sometime in the middle of the night I was woken up by Roman kissing my forehead softly and then kissing my lips softly. I moaned as I kissed him back. It was a real kiss, with real passion something we hadn't had since the morning of his accident. Something was different. I opened my eyes to see him looking at me with his dark brown eyes since his contacts weren't in and smiling at me. His eyes were different. He wasn't lost anymore if anything he looked like he was at home. He looked like he had found his home. "Roman," I whispered.
"N-Nor," he said in a whisper before kissing my lips deeply and softly. The passion tearing through our kiss before he broke the kiss, he signed I love you to me but this time it was different. It was real. It felt real. He was home.
"You remember?" I asked with hope in my voice. He nodded his head at me. "You know who I am?" I asked. He nodded his head and tried to say my name again before taking my hand and rubbing his finger over my engagement ring. He smiled at me and placed my hand on his heart. "I love you!" I said louder than expected. "You're back!" And he nodded at me with a smile on his face. Something triggered his memory and I don't know what it was but I am just glad that he is back.
*A/N: What do you think of Nora not sleeping or eating? Are you glad that Beth got on her about that? What did you think of Nora's moment with Sika? What did you think of Kalea seeing her dad? What do you think of her relationship with Roman could you see how close they were? What are your thoughts on him and Nora? What did you think about Nora telling Kalea about the baby? What do you think triggered his memory? Are you glad he got his memory back? Please review and thank-you for reading.
