Students I am back! Did anyone miss me? (Silence)

I hate you all. Anyways today's lesson is "What makes a great story?" But before I explain I would like to say something to a review that corrected me twice. Big thanks to Nishikaze for pointing this out even if your review did make me feel like the biggest idiot in the world. I still appreciate this review.

LEMON means heavy graphic action regardless if its gay or not and LIME means not-as-graphic action.

I think that is right…

Anyway onto the lesson!

Okay, what DOES make a great story? EASY! Something the reader is likely to… like. A story is like advertising, it is appealing to a certain group of people. You write Jack x Kim, people who like Jack x Kim will flock to your story like bees to a flower. One little problem, how will your audience know it is a Jack x Kim story? THEY DON'T and YOU won't tell them until they have read your story.

A few chapters back, I have mentioned what you don't put in the summary of your story. Pairings is one of them.

Example:

Jack has got a problem and goes to Kimiko for help (Jack x Kim pairing)

Well, that just ruined the story! We know they are going to end up kissing each other in the end! WHAT IS THE POINT OF READING THE STORY?!

But if we did this:

Jack has got a problem and goes to Kimiko for help

Well, we are assuming this will be a Jack x Kim story but who knows? Kim might go off and have sex with Raimundo instead or it turns out Jack went to the girl just so he could have some advice on something naughty to wear for Chase. The possibilities are endless!

By not putting things like pairings in the summary people are forced to read what you have to write. Sure, it might force an innocent to read a slash story but hey, you might have gained a follower! But if you want to warn the audience of slash that is in your story, don't write it on the summary; write it on the first chapter of your fic. That way people know what they are in for and they can leave with their brains intact.

What else makes a good story? The descriptions, vocabulary and all that jazz. By having a large vocabulary, you can add great detail to your story and make people feel they are part of it. Read other stories so you can expand it or you could just go and memorise the entire thesaurus but I recommend reading other stories.

Another thing you can do on improving your story is checking it over for grammar and spelling errors. It is the most annoying thing ever to encounter these things in any story. This isn't a chat room! You are killing the English language! HAVE MERCY ON THE LANGUAGE OUR ANCESTORS SPENT PERFECTING!!!

Eh-em. Onwards with the lesson! There are many things that could make a great story but it's those with the good plot lines that make your story great. Nishikaze also mentioned that she wouldn't read ANY story with a silly summary. You can bet your ass that if you have a crappy summary and crappy story line only idiots will read your stories. But the horrible truth is that idiots degenerate over time and then no one will read your crappy stories! DUDES! STOP GOING WITH STORIES EVERYONE ELSE IS CHOOSING! I had to suffer a day with only Rai x Kim stories and two seemed to have the same plot! So maybe in your little minds this is the best pairing of all time but give it a break! As an ancient saying once said 'Be a salmon, don't go with the flow', write other ideas down. Sure, another writer may have a good idea and you decide that if that writer is going good so will you if you do the same story but the readers will suspect something and you will be blamed from either the writer you copied or the readers that worship the writer's stories as a plagiarist.

Here is a little hint from me: Pretend you have writers block. Then you can have some comfort to sit down and write a list of ideas that aren't the same with your current stories or others. I have done it thousands of times! But I usually do it because I have homework.

Speaking of writers block I'm getting one now. What else makes a great story? TOO MANY!! So here is a list of what I think makes a great story:

Good plot

Good idea

Appropriate characters (as in do not use Master Fung as a main character in an action drama)

Good descriptions

SOMETHING OTHER THAN ROMANCE HAPPENS (smut is excluded)

Worth reading dialogue

Things we don't expect…

There is probably more but obviously that is for you to decide. Now students of Fan Fiction I do have some homework for you! I don't want to hear any grumbling, you are to do this! Now after three days after this chapter is uploaded you are to upload a small one shot. There is one rule to this: It has to be a mystery story. If you are up for this challenge I will do anything you want (giving you personal details excluded). You are to use everything your sensei has taught you… If you want to take part in this tell me in a review.

Before I leave, I have read another review about Song Fics. Tennisgurl has asked about Song Fics so I intend to answer her question.

A Song Fic is a story that has music lyrics of any kind in it. Unfortunately, it is also illegal to have this sort of story written. If any one goes to check the rules when you upload a new story it clearly states that you can't have a story that includes music lyrics (unless you are smart enough to make up your own song). But we are all rebels so here is what I have to say about these sorts of fics.

Make sure you choose an appropriate song to describe your story. If it is a car chase, no point in putting 'How to Save a Life' by The Fray, it will look stupid and so will you. But if it is a car ACCIDENT it will sound a whole lot better. The music must suit the mood of your story.

Just as pairings, do not mention your story is a Song Fic. I'm only saying this because if one of the bosses of Fan Fiction comes waltzing in the site and sees a Song Fic, which is going against rules and regulations, you are probably going to be blocked.

If you are a wimp but still want to do a song fic, you don't have to write the lyrics down. Simply state before starting your story that it sounds better with this song.

Another reviewer asked if you could listen to Ludacris as you write your stories. OF COURSE YOU CAN! Whatever gets you motivated into writing is acceptable! I do not question you if you choose to write a story to Beethoven's 5th symphony but I will question your sanity if you chose Paris Hilton.

So long and thanks for the fish! Remember if you want to take part in the competition, say so in a review.