So my first fanfic hasn't been a complete failure...YAY! Enjoy!
PS. To the reviewer who disliked the Snow/Charming inequity in this story so far...don't worry, I have stuff planned for him, so hang in there :)
Emma had run.
Frustratingly, Snow came to this realisation moments too late. Before she had even reached the stairs, she heard the front door slam, and a very confused Charming calling after Emma. Less than five minutes later Snow was on a wild goose chase looking for her daughter. Snow usually would have left it longer so that Emma could cool down, but it was raining and this time Snow wasn't really sure where Emma would go. Snow knew that after Emma's blow out with Ruby, Grannies was out of the question. Snow was about to start the car to drive to Henry's Castle, (after assuming that it was probably where she had gone) when she saw a flash of blonde hair sitting hunched over in the corner of the car park outside the loft.
Snow ran towards the hunched figure, her heart clenching at the sight of her daughter. Snow knew that there was no point trying to talk to her daughter, she would just run again, but she also knew that she couldn't just leave her daughter. Snow let out a sigh of relief when she discovered that Emma had chosen a spot that was sheltered from the rain by the roofs of the buildings above it, and went and plonked herself down onto the mostly dry pavement next to her daughter, but not too close.
After what felt like hours of silence, it was clear that Emma was being stubborn and was not planning on giving in. Snow decided that she just had to hang onto the hope that Emma would co-operate and do this the easy way. "Em, if you need a break...just for a little while, you know that it won't break my heart right?" Snow paused. Emma hadn't run, but she hadn't really acknowledged Snow's presence either, she was contemplating how to proceed when Emma surprised her "I don't need a break." Emma stated simply. Snow was now even more confused than before, but at least her daughter was responding.
"I just...I...for me love is hard sometimes. Sometimes it's because I don't know how, sometimes it's because I'm scared and sometimes..." Emma trailed off. She wasn't really sure that she wanted to tell her mother this much, what if it hurt her? Then she felt her mother squeeze her hand, and she knew that she should continue. "Sometimes I just feel guilty". Emma was expecting her mother to interrupt, and say something along the lines of her not needing to feel guilty, but Snow never did.
"There were so many children in the foster system Mom. Most of the children in there were there because they had been abandoned or neglected or adoptions just hadn't worked out. Some had parents who were in trouble, or weren't able to take care of them, or were abusive. There were children in there for so many reasons and some of them didn't even know why they were there." Emma took a deep breath, desperately trying to control her emotions. She took a shuddering breath and then began to talk again. "It's just that the majority of these people will always be alone in this world. Some of these children will never even have the option to look for their parents because they are both dead, or don't want to be found, or...and I just..." Emma knew that she was failing to keep get emotions in check, but she decided to just keep talking. She needed this, and so did Snow. "...sometimes I feel guilty, not even just for the children, but for the parents too." Now Snow knew where this was going "Emma, you shouldn't feel guilty for giving Henry away..." or so she thought, until Emma cut her off "This is not about Henry or giving children away." Snow could tell that Emma was getting flustered, so she took a deep breath and let Emma do the talking.
"For the first few years after I gave a Henry away, I felt awful. All I wanted was to take him back, or even just to check that he was okay. After a while I convinced myself that I was no good for him, and eventually, that I didn't actually want him. Then came that day that he knocked on my door. That was the best day of my life. I was lucky...my kid came back, but other parents who gave up their children will never get that.". By this point, Emma had given up on holding back her emotions and had tears rolling down her face. The fact that Snow couldn't hug her daughter and take the hurt away was killing her. Instead Snow settled for draping her coat around a shivering Emma's shoulders, followed by a single arm to quench her craving to hug her daughter.
The pair of them sat there in a comfortable silence for several minutes, each pondering over what had been said. Snow had so many questions that she wanted to ask, but she didn't feel like it was right to ask them. Just then snows phone vibrated and Charming's photo flashed up on the screen.
"Did you find her? Is she okay? If you need me to, I can come pick you both up."
Snow chuckled, they were less than ten metres away from the loft door. They could manage. "I think I'm going to go save your father the trouble of discovering us himself. Care to join me? Henry will be home soon." Surprisingly, Emma found herself willingly agreeing. After a taking few minutes to make herself look more presentable, Emma followed Snow into the cozy loft (but not before taking the coat off - much to Snows amusement).
