Warnings: major spoilers for chapter, I don't know, 51?

Thanks to everyone who's following these little stories, as well as for the nice reviews. Gives me confidence! Now is time for some angst, fluff an' shit.

Chapter 4 – Fear.

His footsteps had led him to Eren. He didn't even know why, maybe it was just out of habit. Eren had been underground until now, and somehow, that always sounded strangely comforting to him despite everything. Underground. There was no daylight, no way to feel the passing of time. It was the most reassuring trap, really. It was because of these strange times when you thought you were safer in a cage than under the wild sky. Of course, he still had his dreams and he still wished to run free, to a place with no walls and no straps to tie you. Sometimes, though, even he felt the urge to hide.

That was why he stepped into Eren's room, holding his breath for some reason. The boy wasn't asleep, and he gave the Corporal a quick and single look of acknowledgment. Levi took his time to come sit on the other side of the bed. Eren didn't turn to face him, but that was fine.

"Say, Eren, who do you think I am?"

Silence greeted his question. He heard Eren fumble with the bedsheets, noticed his breathing stopped several times as if about to say something. Surely he was wondering where the hell did that come from. Even Levi felt the urge to hide, now more than never. He had forgotten the faces of all the people who died beside him, he just knew they had made his anger grow stronger and stronger. He just knew he had used their death. And if he once felt guilty, he didn't anymore – but some people still considered him as some kind of monster because of it. His squad had been replaced quickly, easily, and he wondered how Eren was seeing things.

There was also this terrible revelation about the Titans, and now fear and its dreadful smell surrounded him.

"You're Corporal Levi of the Recon Corps, someone to look up to. They call you Humanity's Strongest and you're also the leader of hope – and by that, I don't only mean you're my leader."

Eren chuckled lightly at that last sentence. Levi did not. He clutched his fingers to the matress so hard his phalanges became white. When he spoke, it was through gritted teeth.

"Ah! But I killed them! So many of them you will never be able to fantasize about it! All these people... I killed. And I was so fucking happy, it felt so good to kill them! I was flying, I could see the sky, and I gave death like a winged butcher. It's their hope that makes me... kill them? How can that be? See, you might have been a monster from the beginning, I don't know, but you're not the only one."

Although Levi did not see it, Eren's face went from surprise to sadness. He turned to face the Corporal's back. He didn't dare to put a comforting hand on his superior's shoulder.

"No, I'm sure it's not that. They... They're not humans anymore."

"Aren't you human?"

"It's not the same!"

"Oh, really?"

Levi shifted his body suddenly, now looking Eren in the eye. He looked terrifying with that flame of rage burning inside him, mouth twisted and eyes narrowed.

"You heard what the other brat's said! His mother fucking talked to him! How can you say they're not humans anymore? How can you be so stupid? She knew it was him! So, don't give me that shit!"

He shoved him roughly and, for a moment, Eren really thought he was going to hit him. But nothing came, and Levi was just standing as if petrified, his hand left hanging in the air. Slowly, the boy sat up straight. While he was searching for anything sensible to say, he caught eye of something that frightened him even more than Levi's sudden burst of violence.

"Corporal... you... Please. You're crying."

At first, Levi didn't seem to believe it, and he raised a shaking hand to touch his cheek. Some kind of strangled growl left his throat. Now, that was unusual. But Eren was still staring, his eyes full of something the Corporal thought was really unnerving. As swiftly as the ocean's tide, anger rushed in his veins.

"When will you stop? When will you stop looking at me with those eyes?"

He was almost shouting, as if wounded, and to see Eren's eyes grow wider with incomprehension only made him furiouser. He wanted nothing more than to punch him right in his face, but he didn't.

"Can't you see it? From the begginning... We were all monsters, we all are! You don't look at a monster with those eyes!"

Levi punched the matress instead, shivering with fear and rage. Eren felt his chest tighten painfully. He had never seen the Corporal in such a state and didn't know how to react. With a faint smile, he started speaking softly.

"When I thought I was a monster, you kept telling me I wasn't. I don't know if you were actually lying or not, you just kept telling me I wasn't, and that was enough. Maybe we were wrong, maybe humanity's already lost and we're all monsters. But, even if that's true and you can't be humanity's strongest anymore, I'll still look at you as if you were. And – and if I can't be humanity's hope neither, then... Then, please, let me be your hope. Let it be me."

Levi couldn't take it anymore, and, as if moving on its own, his hand flew to slap Eren's face. The boy took the hit obediently, without blinking. He didn't flinch, his eyes locked on to Levi's ones, flashing with despair, loss and resentment. Seconds, then minutes passed, without any of them moving or talking.

"Hold me."

It came out more like a plea than like an order, and Levi struggled not to bite nervously his tongue. Eren did as he was told, tough, and awkwardly wrapped his arms round Levi's tense body. Minutes later, the Corporal eventually got closer and nestled his head against the boy's chest, irregularly rising. He wanted to feel hope stick to his skin, so he would no longer smell the stinky scent of fear on it.