Hotch brewed proper coffee, returning to his lounge with two steaming mugs. He found Reid seated comfortably on the sofa his long elegantly slender legs stretched out before him and arm draped casually over the back of the soft damask. He had removed his jacket which now rested on the back of one of the dinning chairs and sat relaxed in his chords and stripy blue jersey. Hotch felt his hand shake slightly at the sight of the young man so at ease in his home one could almost say draped across his sofa. Placing the boiling liquid on a coaster Hotch joined him on the sofa. As his knee brushed against the other man Hotch felt a rush of electricity jolt through him like he had never experienced before. The reaction causing him to ponder the wisdom of sitting here and not in another chair. He was not what people would call touchy feely or hands on, even to that extent with his own son. Bodily contact with others in any way shape or form was not something that came naturally or easily to Aaron Hotchner; ironically the last time he remembered coming into any sort of what you might call intimate contact with a member or his team had been Reid when he had escaped from Tobias Hankel. Could he in all truthfulness trace his feelings for Reid back to this moment? It was four almost six years ago. He was still married to Hayley and yet he could remember it as if it were yesterday. The overwhelming fear that had engulfed his body when they had found out Reid had been taken by the multiple personality driven unsub. The nausea that threatened as Reid had appeared on their computer screens clearly having been beaten by Hankel and the devastating grief that took the breath from his body as Reid lay "dead" before his eyes. Even after all of this time he could still feel Reid's, battered body flush against his own his arms no their arms tightly around each other as they had rescued him. He could still hear with inordinate clarity Reid's almost broken words as he held onto Hotch "I knew you'd understand," The recall of the words brought Hotch sharply back to the present. Tobias Hankel had injected a captive Reid with Dilaudid; made him dependant on the drug. Hotch knew only too well how the young agent had struggled to overcome this addiction. He had been horrified when only a few days ago JJ told him Reid had in his anger towards her confessed that the loss of Prentiss could have driven him back to the drug and that as his friend she should have considered that. As his boss, as his friend, Hotch should also have considered that and chides himself inwardly for not talking more to Reid. God alone knows how much he wanted to. How he wanted help him through the pain he knew he must been feeling. He had talked to all of the team after the "death" of Prentiss: He had not wanted Chief Strauss to bring in someone from outside to counsel his team after such a personal loss. He had taken it upon himself to spend time with all of them. He remembered only too well, Reid breaking down in the hospital visitors lounge when JJ had told them all that Prentiss hadn't made it off the table. How the emotional Dr Reid had fallen into his friend's arms, distraught that he didn't get to say goodbye. Even at that moment, in front of the entire team Hotch had wanted Reid in his arms. He wanted to be the one holding him, offering comfort and support. The thought of holding a sobbing Reid in his arms. His tears seeping into his dress shirt as he soothed him with words of consolation stroking his soft brown hair stirred more than just an emotion of sympathy in Hotch and he shifted in his seat. His steely brown gaze finally colliding with Reid's own questioning one.

"Hotch I am sorry." Reid's voice was barely audible even at such close proximity.

The Unit Chief noticed the barest of movements in his subordinate's hand it was almost as if he were going to reach out and touch him but thought better of it. "For what Reid?" It took every ounce of his own willpower not to reach out himself or to use Reid's given name. "You have nothing to be sorry for. I wish I could say that I am sorry. That JJ and I should have told the team about Prentiss but even in hindsight I still believe what we did was the right th…"

"No not about my infantile behaviour." He lowered his eyes, long lashes hiding his embarrassment from his boss. "That hopefully goes without saying"

He looked so young, so innocent and vulnerable at that moment. Hotch grabbed his coffee from the table. If he didn't grab some inanimate object he knew any sense he still held onto would go flying out of the window. He would be grabbing Reid, making a complete fool of himself. He brought the china mug up to his suddenly dry lips, the contents now somewhat tepid but moistening them so at least he would be able to speak. Not for a moment did he take his eyes of his companion. This time there was no mistaking the stirring of emotion that Hotch felt. It was an emotion that went by the name of desire and it was burning a ferocious path through his veins. He struggled to put the question to Reid. He honestly didn't know what he meant. "Reid, what are you sorry for? Perhaps I had more wine at Dave's that I thought" He tried to lighten a tension he could feel building in the air from both sides. He noticed the rise and fall of Reid's chest, who inhaled deeply before speaking.

"I am sorry for not coming to you!" His face flushed slightly as he continued "I want….wanted is perhaps not quite the right word but yes I wanted to come to you, I wanted you to be the person on whose shoulder I cried but…." He paused searching his Unit Chief's face for something that would encourage him to go on. His face remained as always stoic and unfathomable but his dark brown eyes glistened. In all the years that Reid had worked with Aaron Hotchner, he had only ever seen raw emotion in his eyes once before. This was raw emotion but of a totally different kind. Reid instinctively reached out and touched Hotch's slightly stubbled cheek. The roughness bringing with it realisation at what he had not only done but also at what he had intimated. Reid quickly withdrew his hand.

The reason he hadn't gone to Hotch was simple. He worshiped the man, loved him beyond all reason. He knew that if he allowed him to see him at his most exposed he would not be able to hide his true feelings for him. Feelings he knew were not mutual. This would be adding more hurt to the pain he was already enduring for the loss of Prentiss. Week after week he had gone to JJ and cried unashamedly mourning his friend. Week after week he also cried for himself, for the man he loved and could never have. The man who would never feel the same depth of emotion and passion that he did. As he very slowly began to accept the death of his friend, he found his tears were now for a different kind of heartache one he knew that he could never reconcile. Hot salty tears had soaked JJ's clothing time and time again as he had wordlessly recalled one of the most terrifying moments of his life. A moment that in turn had led to one of the most exquisitely tender instances of his life. Held captive by deranged a serial killer Reid had thought only of one man. He knew all along that man was also his only chance of survival. To choose Aaron Hotchner as the member of his team to die had all but destroyed him, just saying the words outloud had caused him more pain than any beating ever could. But nothing had prepared him for the assault on his senses that would ensue when he fell in Aaron Hotchner's arms when he was finally free. Despite what he had endured how tired he was. The drugs that were still in his system, his body was all too acutely aware of him. An awareness that had never faded even after all this time, an awareness that right now was more heightened than ever. How silly that the mere brush of a leg against him could cause his body to react in this way.