An Inevitable Fate

Challenge Number/Title: 4# Mother's Forgiveness
Date Posted: 8/2/13

Fandom: Twilight
Rating: T
Genre: Canon. Set during Twilight.
Content Descriptors: Romance, angst and family.
Character Pairing: Edward and Bella.

This one-shot is about Edward's thoughts as he runs back to Forks, after having gone to Alaska to escape Bella's scent at the beginning of Twilight.


Even with the intense speed I was running at, I could still see her face as clearly as the snow-infested pine trees surrounding the passage I took.

The teenage girl with the delectable blood whose mind I couldn't read.

Bella Swan.

She was the sole reason why I was darting through the Alaskan plains, in an effort to return to my family. I didn't blame her; to do so would be unfair. It wasn't her fault her blood was sweeter than any I'd ever encountered in my one hundred and ten years of living. However, although I desired her blood, it was something else that kept her constantly on my mind. I presumed it was because her thoughts were permanently barred to me, and I had no idea why. Repressing my curiosity was not one of my strongest traits, being as inquisitive as I was, and it bothered me that I didn't know her true character.

She was a mystery that I needed to solve.

A distraction from the monotonous life I lived.

Unfortunately, due to her scent it appeared that I never would.

Her scent had changed everything.

However, I couldn't loathe her for a fault that was purely mine.

My hatred was for my weakness – my thirst for her blood, the thing that I'd been fighting constantly against since the second I'd caught a whiff of it in my Biology period. It prevented me from being where I wanted to be most, and forced me to leave my family behind.

I hadn't even gotten to say goodbye to my mother, Esme.

Although we weren't blood related, Esme was as much my mother as Elizabeth was. When Carlisle had first brought Esme home – who was in the process of transitioning into one of us – to live with us in the early twenties, I'd been a little jealous of her, worried that Carlisle would completely forget about me and that the two of them would become completely absorbed in their secluded bubble of mated joy. But with Esme being as maternal and loveable as she was, it was impossible for me not to accept her affection, and to happily accept my role as the son she'd always wanted to have. She lived up to her title unconsciously by doing all the things a mother usually did. She praised me when I succeeded in my endeavours, guided me in the right direction when I'd gone astray, given me helpful advice when I'd needed it, and had never judged me even when I'd blatantly deserved contempt.

She was the best mother a person could possibly hope to have.

I wasn't disregarding my human mother; I simply couldn't remember her well enough to remark on her parenting abilities.

However, I loved both my mothers equally.

I'd hurt Esme by running off to Alaska without telling her.

She deserved some notice before I left without letting her know how long I'd be gone.

Sure, Alice would tell her of my decision, but I knew she wouldn't feel as anxious if I'd told her myself.

She didn't like it when her family wasn't fully intact.

It made her nervous.

Even though I was practically invincible, she still worried that someone would take me, and the rest of our family, away from her.

She regarded me as her youngest child, and I supposed in some ways I was, being younger in physical age than my siblings.

Our bond was a special one.

I would definitely approach Esme first when I returned, then Carlisle, of course. The first thing I was going to do when I got back was give her a much-needed apology and then perhaps play her favourite song on my piano. I had neglected my piano playing and composition writing for far too long, and this would be the perfect time to start up again. Perhaps it would ease my guilt a little in addition to gaining Esme's forgiveness.

The only time when I'd hurt Esme this badly was when I'd left she and Carlisle to live a more traditional vampiric lifestyle, as a vigilante. I hadn't been as close to her back then, and when I finally thought of returning to them, having been ridden with guilt at abandoning them and taking human lives, I wasn't sure if they'd accept me back, so I hadn't returned home straight away. It took me four long years to gather up the courage to go back to them. I thought she and Carlisle would shun me for having lived a lifestyle they strongly disapproved of and send me away without a second thought, but like the prodigal son returning to his father, she and Carlisle had accepted me back with open arms and it was like I'd never left.

My respect for them rose to the highest point it could possibly rise on that day.

It showed me that love could truly be unconditional.

And from that moment on, there was no doubt that they were my parents in this life, and that I needed their guidance and love in order to succeed in this world.

But yesterday I had made a similar mistake, except I had run away out of cowardliness instead of in rebellion.

Guilt arose unbidden within in me, and I was too ashamed to force the horrible sensation back.

The guilt I felt was for not being strong enough.

For running away foolishly from my problems.

For not saying goodbye to my family before I left.

For not being a good enough son.

For not being a good enough sibling.

For endangering an innocent, human girl.

For simply being what I was.

Wallowing wouldn't fix my problems though.

Facing them head on and asking for forgiveness would.

I knew that ignoring the Swan girl's scent would be extremely difficult, but my determination not to be driven away from my family, to be able to stay where I belonged, assured me that the task was possible. I would just have to ignore Isabella Swan as profusely as I possibly could.

The thought was strangely…dismal.

I still couldn't quite banish her face from my mind.

It looked like ignoring her scent was going to be as difficult as ignoring her.

She was simply too interesting.

I hoped for the girl's sake, that my interest in her would soon fade.

I needed to stay away from her for both her benefit and mine.

Yet, I couldn't help but note how beautiful her eyes were.


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