Author's Note:
I didn't want to make you guys wait too long for this chapter. Sorry it's still pretty cliffhanger-y though lol! I will be updating it again soon, I swear. ;) I don't want to leave you guys hanging for too long. I really hope you all like this chapter; please let me know what you think. :D
Rory will be showing up first thing in chapter 5, I swear. ;)
And special thanks to allienicole16 for beta-ing this for me. :D She'll hopefully be beta-ing the rest of this story for me! ;) If she missed any grammatical or spelling errors and you want to beta it for me in the reviews though, feel free, I am willing to update it to fix any mistakes. :D
Please let me know if you're liking the story! I really appreciate all reviews. Some of you only add the story to your story alerts and don't review it, and I'm really glad you want to know what happens next, but... I'd prefer it if you reviewed it so I had a concrete record of you as a person who enjoyed my story, you know? ;)
Thanks so much you guys. :D
Chapter 4: Unspoken But Understood
"I'm sorry to inform you that Luke has a cerebral aneurysm."
Jess knew very little about aneurysms, but knew just enough to know that they were very serious. He waited for the doctor to continue.
"It appears to have ruptured. Unfortunately most aneurysms aren't caught until after they rupture."
Lorelai stood there very still and unusually quiet, unable to do anything except try to listen intently despite her internal panicking.
"Luke is being prepped for surgery now. The standard of care in the case of aneurysms like this is an emergency surgical clipping procedure."
Chris glanced from Lorelai to Jess, and then turned back to the doctor. He looked for his nametag before asking his question. "Dr. Evans, could you please explain what... what exactly that surgery is?"
The doctor nodded. "It's brain surgery... I know it sounds scary but it's the most effective way to treat him. We will go in and essentially clip off the base of the bleeding vessel. They're probably almost done prepping him now, if you guys want to talk to him before he goes under anesthesia, now's your chance. I'm so sorry to rush you, but this is a really time-sensitive problem, the longer we wait before he goes into the surgery, the more of a chance he... well... the more of a chance he won't make it. I'm so sorry you guys." Dr. Evans looked over them somberly. It was clear that both Lorelai and Jess cared a lot about this man, and that Christopher seemed to be acting like he'd never even met Luke.
Chris put his arm gently around Lorelai's shoulders, which appeared (to Jess's horror) to be her cue to burst into tears.
"Shh, Lor, it's okay. He'll be okay," Christopher soothed her softly, as she turned towards him, burying her face in his chest. "They're doing everything they can for him right now."
Jess's eyes widened. He'd never seen Lorelai like this before. It was pretty terrifying. He thought briefly to himself that Rory's dad seemed like a more sensitive guy than Jimmy was. Then he snapped out of his internal tangent and remembered Luke, and realized that he basically felt just like the hysterical Lorelai. However, all of Jess's hysteria was being consciously suppressed at the moment. He took a deep breath and then swallowed, as if physically doing these things would help to keep the emotions inside.
Jess hesitantly started to walk over to Luke's room. The door was only open a crack, and as Jess looked through the little window he saw that Luke's head was in the process of being shaved, but the nurse motioned him in with a gentle smile.
"Hey there, Luke," Jess said in a very quiet and shaky voice. He had intended to sound cool and collected. He hoped maybe he did.
"Jess." Luke opened his eyes briefly just to see Jess, and then closed them again.
Jess reached his uncle's bedside and decided now was the right time to hold Luke's hand. Well. Maybe just touch his arm. Yeah, that was a little manlier, but still an intimate enough gesture. As the nurse walked away, having finished taking care of Luke's hair, Jess gently placed his fingers on Luke's forearm.
Luke smiled slightly at the touch. "So Jess, tell me, how's my hair?"
The joke made Jess tear up, and his voice was caught in his throat. He couldn't answer. He just stood there, terrified that his uncle might die at any moment. He wanted to answer his joking question. Even more than that, he wanted to say something meaningful and important. What were the last words he should say to Luke? For some inexplicable reason his mind was blank. Jess, the writer, was lost for words.
Luke noticed the silence. Luke took the silence appropriately – he realized Jess was unable to speak because he... because he was so worried about him and because Jess cared so much. Because Luke realized they shared some unspoken but understood feelings of... feelings of love. Luke was so happy and grateful and touched that Jess cared so much about him that he couldn't speak in this moment. But it also saddened him beyond what he'd ever thought possible. Luke was in a weakened state, and still was in a ton of pain. Combined with these overwhelming conflicting emotions, he started to silently cry, tears streaming from both of his closed eyes, dampening his pillow.
Jess heard the door creak a little and glanced over. Lorelai was standing there, silently waiting to come in the room.
Jess whispered, "You'll be okay, Luke, hang in there."
Then Jess slowly picked his hand up off of Luke's arm, holding his breath, and then quickly left the room. He didn't want Lorelai to see him start to cry. The moment he was out though, he finally was able to breathe, and some tears escaped. He leaned up against the wall of the hospital, taking some deep breaths, forcing himself to stop crying in public.
Then Jess headed back over towards the waiting room. Christopher was just starting a call. Jess stopped in his tracks. Christopher is probably calling Rory. Oh no. Jess wasn't sure he could handle seeing Rory tonight. Unfortunately, Jess's assumption was correct.
"Hey, Rory, it's your dad. Your mom asked me to call you. She said you'd want to know. Um, I'm not sure how to tell you this. It's about Luke. Yeah Luke. He's... he's not good Rory. He has an aneurysm and is about to go into brain surgery. I know honey. Yeah I've never seen your mother so upset. Are you... are you crying? Rory, please don't cry. Yeah we're at St. Joseph's. We'll call you if we leave. What? Oh. Luke's nephew called us. You know him? Oh that's right. Now I remember you mentioning him. Okay I will. I love you, see you soon." Christopher hung up and Jess walked back over to his seat, pretending not to have eavesdropped on the whole thing. Christopher and Jess just sat there in silence, not looking at each other, but rather each staring at their own shoes.
Meanwhile Lorelai was in Luke's room. She took Luke's hand in both of hers. Then she immediately burst out with, "I'm so sorry Luke. I am so sorry I broke up with you. I am so sorry I slept with Christopher that night. That wasn't fair to you. I never even apologized. Luke... I'm so sorry."
Luke forced himself to open his eyes, and he saw the tear-stricken face of the woman he loved. "Lorelai... it's okay. I forgive you."
Lorelai had uncontrollable streams of tears running down her face. "Thank you for always loving me... even now."
Luke smiled.
The doctor knocked on the door and then opened it and stuck his head in saying; "It's about time to take him into surgery now. I'm sorry to rush you, but..."
Lorelai leaned over and kissed Luke's head, and Luke felt a surge of warmth over his whole body. She started to walk away, but then turned around back towards Luke and said, "See you when you get out of surgery." She gave him a reassuring smile and her eyes shone brightly with tears. She seemed to be trying to convince both him and herself that his surgery would go smoothly and that everything would be perfectly fine.
Lorelai left the room and watched the doctors go in and immediately wheel him out and put a mask on his face in record time. She just stood there watching as he disappeared behind the doors where surgeries happened. He'd been out of sight for a few minutes and she just kept standing there, staring, until Liz tapped her on the shoulder.
"Lorelai! Hey! Did you see Luke?" Liz stepped into Lorelai's line of sight.
"Oh. Hi Liz," Lorelai said, barely able to greet her. She was so tired, and comprehending Liz's question took her more time than it should, and then she had to muster up some strength to answer it. "I did, he just was wheeled into surgery. You just missed him, I'm sorry."
"Surgery? What for? Is he okay? What happened? Jess didn't really tell me anything." Liz was starting to get closer to the appropriate amount of worry.
Lorelai looked at Liz and then started to cry again, she couldn't help it. Liz reached out and hugged her, quietly saying, "Well you said he was going into surgery now, so I at least know he's not dead yet." Then she added, in a half reassuring but half concerned tone, "Right?" Lorelai squeezed her tighter.
She spoke into Liz's hair. "Yeah he has a cerebral aneurysm so they're doing brain surgery now. He might die, we just have to wait and hope for the best."
Liz let go of Lorelai slowly. "Gosh," Liz replied. They stood there staring at each other for a few moments, as Lorelai watched the new information sink in. Liz's then blinked and looked back up at Lorelai. "So where's my Jessie boy?" she asked, trying to sound more like her usual chipper self.
Lorelai silently took her over to the waiting room. Liz went up to Jess and kissed his head. He sat still, waiting for her to sit down next to him. Once she did, Jess asked, "So Lorelai filled you in?" Again he used his matter-of-fact tone that concealed all emotion.
"Yeah," she said. "So I guess now we just wait?" Liz asked. No one answered her. The answer was obvious.
The four of them sat in silence for a long time. Lorelai leaned on Chris and they both fell asleep. Liz kept fidgeting. Jess just sat remarkably still, staring at his shoes, trying to think about something other than Luke. His mind flashed to Rory. She was coming. He was going to have to see her. He tried to focus on another subject. The book he was in the process of writing? Sure, maybe that would be a good distraction. He tried to mentally map out the next chapter. But all he could think of now were mothers dying in car crashes, fathers dying of cancer, and uncles dying of aneurysms. Jess tried to let his mind go blank. He continued to stare at his shoes for the next half hour.
