Request from Barbacar. Prompt: "Muffet would have a big fat purple cigar in her mouth made from spiders and webbing. She decides to advertise for her bake sale by shooting herself out of a cannon while juggling bombs, lighting them each off of her cigar."


Muffet let out a soft, annoyed sigh as she leaned against the edge of her selling table. Only four Monsters had walked past her the past few hours she had been opened, and she'd only been able to convince one of them to buy something. 9,999 G wasn't that high of a price! It was completely reasonable, given her goal to help the spiders in the Ruins. Digging in one of her pockets, she tugged out a web-surrounded cigar filled with spider legs. Despite being considered too young to smoke, she had accidentally discovered that this relieved her stress from trying to care for the spiders... Besides, smoking spider legs wouldn't hurt anything. Lighting the cigar, she glanced looked down as a spider scurried up to her. "Hello, dearie!~"

"Miss Muffet!" The spider exclaimed, scurrying up to her feet. "Th-The other spiders and I... W-We were talking about how to help with the bake sale!"

Muffet looked down at the spider, surprised. Normally she did all the planning for the back sale, not the other way around! "Ahuehuehue! Wow, dearie, you were? What were you thinking of doing?"

-00000-

This idea wasn't exactly how Muffet had planned for everything to turn out. In all actuality, she wasn't entirely sure why she agreed to this. The spider-girl stood next to the large cannon that they'd managed to get out to Hotland, fiddling with her cigar with one hand as spiders scurried about her. She held two bombs in her two pairs of free hands, one lying on the floor next to her feet. With a sigh, she slotted the two bombs she held into the large MTT Brand Never-Fail Cannon, picking up the third and slotting it in as well. Well, it was now or never. After getting an okay from the spiders, the spider-girl climbed in. Handing off her cigar to another spider, it scurried to the fuse and lit it before scurrying back, handing the cigar back to Muffet.

"Well, dearie, here goes nothing!" Muffet said to the spider as it scurried out of the way. While she cared about bringing the spider clans together, she hoped they were well worth doing this for as she glanced at the crowd of Monsters that had gathered, about twenty or so in was a sudden jarring feeling as the fuse ran out and the cannon fired, sending the spider-girl and the bombs sailing in the air. Muffet wasted no time in reacting, using webs to draw the bombs back to her. The forward momentum made juggling the bombs somewhat difficult with four of her hands. Placing the cigar in one of her two free hands, she was able to work with the momentum as she lit the bombs with the cigar in her free hand.

Despite feeling like she was in the air forever, it was only a few minutes before Muffet allowed the bombs to all into the lava below, landing in a web stretched across a gap. Glancing down at the lava below, the spider-girl quickly scurried off the web and onto solid ground. Tossing the cigar into the lava as well, Muffet swore to herself she was never going to listen to her spider's ideas again.