Author's Note: So…um, another thank you to my reviewers! You can never have too many thank yous, no, ooh. I KNOW!
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THAT'S A SHOCKER!
'Kay I got that out of my system, thanks much, so now you can read, review, and enjoy this commercial-free chapter!
Disclaimer (oops): Last night…I had a dream. I found myself in a heaven – called Jelly-owns-Wicked Land. It was bliss, I was famous beyond my wildest dreamings, and I was – happy. Then, out of the abyss, walked a Cow – Reality. I asked if my profit from Wicked had increased in the last week.
She said: "Dream on."
('Kay, so I stole it from WWSE, but it was dead anyway so SHH!)
Heaving a heavy, dramatic sigh, Galinda flung herself onto her bed. Oz, what a day, having to suffer through Boq's not acknowledging that they were perfect for each other. It was horrible.
"Elphaba, I'm exhausted."
"Mmm," her roommate replied, not bothering to look up from her book.
"Why? Because all this scheming has, like, tired out my brain! Who knew that making plans to win the boy of your dreams could be so horrendibly hard?"
This grabbed Elphaba's attention. "But you already have the boy of your dreams, don't you? Your 'darling Master Fiyero, Prince from the Vinkus'?"
"Not anymore, silly!" Galinda said, rolling her eyes. "Haven't you heard? I broke up with him before classes this morning!"
Elphaba gawked at the blonde. "You mean…you two aren't…"
"Thaaaaat's right! Fiyero and I are deader than Animal Rights."
"Watch yourtongue," Elphaba spat.
"Sorry, sorry!" Galinda exclaimed, throwing up her hands in surrender. "So yeah. Now I'm…well…I'm after…well, you know." She giggled.
"No, I can't say I do. I want to kn–" She stopped as realization dawned upon her, and was unable to keep her jaw from dropping even farther than it had before. "Oh Oz, Galinda, you can't be serious!"
The blonde grinned and skipped over to her dresser to retrieve her free sample of Ravishing Red nail polish from Lozreál, hoping the new color would be sexier than her usual Blushing in Pink.
"Why can't I?" she asked innocently. Galinda gently stroked the small brush over her left thumb. Ah, yes – if this wasn't an attractive color, she didn't know what was.
"Why can't you? For Ozsakes', just yesterday you were referring to him as the 'annoying little Munchkin boy', and now he's…what? More popular than Fiyero?"
"You are correct." Left pointer finger was looking mighty fine.
Elphaba finally closed her book and regarded Galinda in a curious manner. "Is it just because everyone else thinks so?"
"N-no! Miss Elphaba, I'm offended you would say such a thing. I do believe I am intelligent enough to pick out my own personal love interest."
"Is that so?"
"That is very, very so," Galinda said haughtily, finishing off her left hand and starting on the other. "Hey, I have a question for you: is a limb a part of your body?"
Elphaba groaned. "Yes, Galinda."
"Yay! That's what I thought. 'Cause I was taking this quiz in CozmoGirl! and it asked me what my favorite limb was."
"How…lovely?"
"IT IS! Guess what I put, guess what I put?"
"I have no idea," Elphaba said, reopening her book.
"Fine." Galinda pouted. "I put my pinky finger! You wanna know why?"
"Not particularly, but if it'll help you sleep, go right ahead."
Galinda smiled. "Aw, Elphaba, you care about me!"
"Wha-what? That's not true," Elphaba protested, "I just said–"
"–that you cared about my sleeping habits! But I'm going to change the subject because I'm such a nice person. So, the reason why I put my pinky finger is because it has the word pink in it! Isn't that like, amazing? Oh, wait, we need to give you a nickname."
"Why?"
"Because I feel that if two young women confide in each other, no matter how silly the confidation–" she ignored Elphaba's grimace at the made up word "–they should give each other a nickname! But I don't need one, so we'll just work on it for you. Okay, hold on." She screwed up her face in thought. "I know – Phaba!"
"No."
"Phabby?"
"No."
"Elpha?"
"No, Galinda."
"ELPHIE!"
"No."
"Yes. Oh, Elphaba, it's perfect! I shall call you Elphie, and you shall be my Elphie."
"No–"
"YES!"
"All right, all right. But you must do me a favor in return," the newly-dubbed Elphie said.
"Of course."
"Tell me why you decided Boq was The One so suddenly."
Galinda's mouth opened. And shut. Then opened again. Then shut again. Then: "Well, I…I…um…well, you know, Ozmopolitan–"
"I knew it!" Elphaba resisted the urge to pump her fists in the air like all those deranged sports players. "You judge boys by what those ridiculous magazines of yours say, not by how you actually feel. Which – not that I am experienced in this field – is not the way you should go about doing things."
"Exactly. You are not experienced, so you are in no way allowed to question my expertise, Miss Elphie."
"But I–"
"And you mustn't tell him, Elphie. You have to promise!"
"I promise?"
"Well, do you?" Galinda looked so anxious, so fearful, that Elphaba decided to let the blonde have her way. Just this once.
"I do."
"Oh, THANK YOU!" Galinda ran across the room and engulfed her new friend in a suffocating Bear hug. "You are so kind, Elphie, so kind, so nice, so caring, so–"
"Get. Off. Me."
"Oh, um, sorry!" Galinda said, grinning sheepishly. She skipped back to her bed and landed on it with a plop. "My Momsie's always said I have a slight tendency to go overboard with my emotions, though it doesn't happen very often, so they say I'm all right. I am all right, aren't I? I mean…you don't think Boq will…not…like me?" Her face fell. "OH MY OZ, I BET HE DOES HATE ME!"
"Galinda, calm down. He's only been obsessed with you since he first laid eyes on you. I doubt he'd suddenly decide to change…Well, it's possible," she said wryly, "but you're Galinda, you hear me? You have all of Shiz falling at your feet."
Galinda contemplated this for a moment. "Ooh, you're right. Okay. Hey, Elphie, you're not so bad at advice! We should give you an advice column or something."
"I think not. How about I get back to my book, and you start on your assignments."
"I think not. I have more important things to be doing, such as launching my Super Plan."
"Super Plan?" Elphaba asked.
"Re-mem-beeeeeer? I told you I was exhausted due to all of this scheming and planning and stuff. It was the very first thing I said."
"I remember clearly, thank you, but what's so 'super' about it?"
"I can't tell you or else it'll lose its super-ness. Now how about you go back to your book, Elphie?" Galinda said, smiling sweetly.
Elphaba opened her mouth to retort, but found herself unable to string together a witty phrase. So she said nothing and resumed her reading.
Galinda planned.
- - - - -
They had spent nearly two hours talking about…well, nothing. Nothing at all. Well, okay, so maybe Lilli had said a thing or two, but it wasn't like Boq had been actively listening. Fashion wasn't exactly on his list of priorities. Neverthess, she was pretty cute, at least cute enough to be a temporary substitute for Galinda. He wasn't ready for Galinda. Not yet.
"So as I was saying, I'm still trying to figure out if babydoll tops can be worn with a skirt, you know? You understand my dilemma?"
"Of course I do," Boq said before taking a sip from his Strawberry Frappachino.
"No, really. You understand what I'm talking about? It's like, loose top, loose bottom – possible or not, you know? I don't want to commit a faux pas or anything because then I'd be like an ostrich and not a bird that flies above everyone else, you know?"
"Um…yeah. So why were we talking about babydoll tops?"
Lilli glared at him and took an angry swig of her Chai Tea. "Your memory is as short as your height, for Ozsakes', you know. We were talking about babydoll tops because I wanted to take you out to the Philosophy Club next week, you know, but since you seem not to care about anything I say, we can skip that little outing."
"Lilli–"
"I'm calling our waiter."
"But this place doesn't have–"
It was too late, however: her hand holding her tea shot in the air and, as a result, her lidless drink sloshed all over her cream sweater.
Boq's face paled.
She was pissed.
"THIS WAS AN EXPENSIVE SHIRT FROM HOZZISTER, YOU KNOW!" she screamed, drawing attention from the baristas and the customers and nearly everyone within a five mile radius. "HOW DARE YOU? I THOUGHT YOU WERE A DECENT PERSON. BUT YOU'RE NOT, YOU KNOW! Oh Oz." Her expression suddenly changed from furious to crestfallen.
"I'm sorry, Lilli, are you all right?"
"All right? NO, I'M NOT! I've been out on dates with over 57.75 men – the .75 because he had lost an arm, you know – and not one has ever asked me on a second date. Now it's 58.75!" she wailed.
"I'm so sorry, Lilli."
"Yeah, well, I'm sorry, too, you know. Sorry that I'm leaving one of my favorite places." With that she bounced up from her seat and grabbed her things before throwing Boq one last, menacing look and stomping off.
Boq glanced around at the other customers and grinned sheepishly. "Um, women…?"
They didn't grin back.
Women indeed, he thought to himself a few minutes later, once he was out of the store. What if he wasn't cut out for this? What if…no, what was he talking about? He was Boq, and he was special – he had received roses and and a multitude of other gifts, especially a life-size cardboard cutout of the most beautiful girl in Oz. He could do this. He would have Galinda.
And if he had her, he would have everything.
He skipped all the way back to his dorm.
