It was still bright outside when Elizabeth's eyes opened. Her ears were assaulted by sounds that had her had become normal over the past two weeks. Chatter of the staff, squeaking shoes on waxed tiles, the sounds of so many TV's echoing down the hallway, and the constant beeping of medical equipment.
The hospital smell was the worst. Clean and medicinal, it was harsh against her nose. A more comforting smell mingled with it that evening, a hint of a familiar cologne. She tilted her head, smiling when she found Jason on the couch in her room. "Hey," she said.
His face lit up when he realized she'd woken. "Hey yourself, sleeping beauty. How're you feeling? The nurse said you didn't need dialysis today. That's been what, four days without?"
"Five." She'd had to start the treatment post-op until her new kidney began operating at normal levels. "Looks like I'm in the clear. No more dialysis." Her body still ached from her surgery's incision site, and her arms were still battered from the abuse of the dialysis on her veins, but day by day, they'd removed equipment as her body recovered from the transplant, and she was finally free of the IV and monitors. "Tomorrow's the big day."
"Great timing," Jason said. "It's Saturday. I'll be off work, so we'll be here bright and early."
She pushed up in the hospital bed, grateful again to be back in her own clothes. Hospital gowns had made modesty challenging, and though she'd tried to keep news of her surgery quiet, she'd had more visitors than she would have bargained for during her stay.
Simon worked in the hospital, and he came by several times a day. Her mother had visited every day, but now she'd dialed it back to every other day at Elizabeth's insistence. Carolyn had flown out to visit, and Jack O'Neill had come by. Even Cameron had been there. Cam, Jason, Gavin, and her mother hadn't left her side before her surgery, and they'd all been waiting when she'd come out from the anesthesia. Cam had returned to the SGC a day later, and while she'd persuaded her mother to trim the amount of her visits, Jason had refused to listen.
"You don't have to come here every day," she said. "It's a thirty-minute drive for you."
Jason shrugged. "So? Everything's a thirty-minute drive in these parts because of the traffic. Besides, the little man wouldn't let me hear of missing a visit."
She swung her legs off the side of her bed. They'd encouraged her to get up and walk whenever she wanted. It had been a relief to get free license to move. Even sitting on the couch was a nice change of pace after being stuck in the hospital bed for so long.
"Where is Gavin anyway?"
"Simon took him to raid the snack closet, and no changing the subject. You'll need us to come tomorrow. You'll never get this stuff out on your own."
Flowers, balloons, and cards filled her room. The support and well wishes of so many had been touching, but they were also a constant reminder on the one missing. John was still on Atlantis.
The joint mission with Todd had ended predictably. Todd was MIA, having accomplished everything he wanted and more. McKay had been furious. So had the IOA. The name Todd always hit a raw nerve with them. They'd never wanted to let the Wraith leave Atlantis in the first place, at least not alive.
Atlantis had been left with a fraction of the data they'd been promised in return for their assistance, but they had destroyed a small Wraith outpost without any loss of life for their team. McKay and the IOA aside, the rest had chalked it up as a small win, and moved on.
She'd read the mission reports. Medical leave or not, she didn't want to return to thousands of unopened emails and reports. She assumed there was more to what she'd read, there always was, but she wouldn't know until she spoke to John…and she didn't know when that would be. He was still on Atlantis either by choice or by Landry's orders. Asking wasn't an option, because if it was the former, she really didn't want to know.
She joined Jason on the couch. He was watching The Outlaw Josey Wales. Again. That movie had been on one of the channels almost every night she'd been at Johns Hopkins. "You watching that again?"
"I reckon so," he said, giving her a lopsided grin as Clint Eastwood echoed those words onscreen. "It's a classic."
It was moments like this, he reminded her so much of John that it hurt.
Gavin came barreling in the room, a white Styrofoam cup of ice cream in his hands, and Simon followed a moment later.
"I heard it's your last night in the hospital." Simon smiled. "I know you'll be happy to leave. Are you going to your mother's or your place when you're discharged?"
"My mother's. My place is still rented." She hadn't wanted to sell her Georgetown brownstone. She loved its character and location, so she'd rented it out when she'd started working on the Atlantis project. Whether she ever ending up living there again or not, it would at least be an investment. The property value had almost doubled in the years she'd owned it.
"You should come stay with us." Gavin sat beside her, putting her in the middle of the little Hartman family. "Daddy and I talked about it. We have that extra bedroom you've stayed in when you visited with John."
"It's all yours if you want it, Lizzy." Jason gave Simon a sideways glance. "Think it over. We'll be here in the morning anyway to help you get packed up and moved out."
"Oh. Well…" Simon scratched the back of his head. "I know when I'm not needed."
"Thank you, Simon," she said. "For everything. I couldn't have done this without your help."
Simon stood a little bit taller as he smiled back at her. "I'll give you a call in a few days to check on you."
"Bye, Simon." Gavin waved. "Thanks again for the ice cream."
Simon waved back and ducked out the door.
"He doesn't like me," Jason said.
"What are you talking about?" she asked. "He likes everyone. He even took Gavin for ice cream."
"You don't see it, do you? Man's got stars in his eyes for you."
"Maybe you're the one with stars in your eyes. Did you get hit in the head at work or something?" she teased.
Gavin busied himself getting the laptop out of Jason's backpack and sorting through a stack of DVD's.
"I'm just calling it like I see it," Jason said as he switched off the TV. "That's me. Mr. blunt as hell."
She tugged a blanket around her shoulders, feeling a sudden chill. "He made his choice a long time ago. We both did." Simon had moved on. Yes, that relationship hadn't worked out for him, but it didn't mean he was looking to start things up with her. They were better off as friends, and she knew they both had to recognize that.
"He didn't like it when Gavin mentioned John either," Jason said. "Does he know about him?"
Her heart wrenched as she considered the question. "There's nothing really to know, is there?"
"Got it!" Gavin held up Despicable Me before popping it in the laptop.
"Like father, like son," she said. "You both watch the same movies every day."
Gavin looked crushed. "You don't want to watch it? I thought you loved the minions."
"I do. Of course I want to watch it. I was just giving your dad a hard time."
Gavin centered the laptop on the small table before them and started the movie.
"What do you want for dinner?" Jason asked. "You need to celebrate getting off the hospital restricted diet. We can order some Chinese. You won't be able to get delivery out in the suburbs."
"I'd best stick to a bland diet for a while, but when I'm ready, my mother's house gets delivery."
"But ours doesn't."
"You won't even be there much longer. You're heading to California." She lowered her voice as Gavin leaned forward, laughing at the movie. "Does Gavin stay with your parents when you're gone?"
Jason shook his head. "Mom's got her hands full with my father. He has Alzheimer's. Not sure how much longer we can keep him at home."
"I'm sorry." She squeezed his arm. "I didn't realize."
"Our nanny stays over when I'm out of town."
"So he's just with the nanny?"
"Don't look at me like that. He likes her, and she keeps a good eye on him. He's happier at home; I'll be working all the time. Plus, it would cost a fortune to fly her out with us, pay her overtime, and put them both up in hotel rooms."
"It'll cost a fortune to have her stay over while you're gone as it is. I should stay with you guys. Then she wouldn't need to stay overnight."
"You're in no shape to be taking care of a five-year-old."
"Almost six," Gavin said, not taking his eyes from the screen.
"I'd be fine with him," she said. "I can't pick him up, or lift anything over fifty pounds. Other than that, I don't have any lifestyle restrictions that would keep me from being able to care for him."
Jason met her eyes. "That's too much to ask."
"You're not asking, I'm offering. It's what family does, assuming you still want me to be. John-"
"Is an idiot."
"We both know that's not true."
"I don't know what's going on with him," Jason said. "I don't know of any soldiers deployed that don't get access to a phone or email at some point. Either that or he does, and he's just ignoring me. You still haven't heard from him either?"
"No." She'd sent some emails with the data bursts transmitted from the SGC, but he hadn't responded. "It's not a normal deployment. It's just a short-term mission. With his location, it makes things complicated."
"Don't suppose you can tell me what he's up to?" He sighed when she shook her head. "Well, whatever happens, I'm not letting you slip out of my life."
"You can't afford too. You're somewhat lacking in the friendship department."
His mouth dropped open. "I'm not believing you. Stop busting my balls. You and Mitchell already put me through the ringer. I've promised to stop being a hermit, after we get you sprung you from this place, anyway."
"Why John?" she asked. "He was the only one you stayed in touch with. You brushed everyone else off."
He looked away. "Sheppard never pried. Everyone else was as pushy as hell, but he just let me be. Being around him made me feel normal, I guess. And because of you," he added quietly.
"Me?"
He picked at the label on his water bottle. "John did the same thing as me. After Afghanistan, he shut everyone out. Holed up in Antarctica. You seemed to have brought him away from some of that darkness. I guess I thought if I was as around you enough, maybe some of that would rub off on me too."
"I can't take the credit for that. He surrounded himself with good people. He has a great team. He learned to welcome friendship back into his life. You need to do the same."
He shifted sideways, propping his elbow on the back of the couch. "Maybe it just takes a good woman to set you straight so you realize you need to do those things."
Elizabeth eyed him carefully, wondering if his comment meant he was no longer opposed to the idea of dating. She still had a lot of friends in the area. She could easily set him up with one of them, but only if he was ready. Before she could ask, Gavin roared in laughter and slumped back against the couch, leaning against Elizabeth's side.
"Easy, kiddo," Jason said. "You need to be gentle with her."
"He's okay. It's my good side." But she had a long, curving row of stitches on her opposite side. The incision was tender, but healing nicely. She was scheduled to have the stitches removed the following week.
"Here, lean forward a smidge." Jason had a pillow in his hands. "It'll take the pressure off your lower back."
She shifted sideways, and he eased it behind her.
Gavin giggled again, and Elizabeth smiled down at him. She hadn't avoided marriage and children, but the cards hadn't fallen that way. Now she knew they never would. She hadn't asked, but the surgeon had made it clear children would not be a part of her future. It wasn't her age. Her body just wouldn't be able to handle the strain of carrying a child.
Gavin squirmed around, trying to get comfortable. He finally grabbed a throw pillow and curled up, resting his head on Elizabeth's lap. She tousled his hair and tried not to think of the dreams she'd lost. She had her life, and for now, that was more than enough.
~v~v~
Elizabeth pulled back the curtains and peered outside. She was in the living room at the Hartman home, and the sky was growing dark.
"Why are you worried?" Gavin asked. "Daddy's been late before. He's probably stuck in traffic."
"I'm not worried," she lied. She turned around, smiling down at Gavin. He was on the floor, elbows on the coffee table as he leaned over, studying his latest artwork. While they'd been in Colorado Springs, Gavin and John had named the new canine character for the next set of stories, and Gavin had been drawing away. "This looks great, Gavin. Bandit looks good in a cape."
"I can't wait to show John. Is he ever coming back?"
"Of course he is." But she had no idea when. She'd sent another email, but she still hadn't heard from him.
She glanced at her phone and sighed. Gavin was right in that Jason had been late before, but he'd always called or texted. Sometimes he'd called and texted. He was a little overzealous in communicating with her, something she'd found sweet and reassuring. The radio silence now was grating her nerves. Something was wrong. She felt a bone-deep worry similar to what she'd experienced at times when John was on missions, and those premonitions had rarely steered her wrong.
"We should go ahead and get you something to eat," she said. "Are you hungry?"
"Not really. I had a big snack after we left the park."
The nanny hadn't been feeling well, so Elizabeth had sent her home after she'd brought Gavin home from school. They'd spent a few hours at a local park, longer than she'd intended, but time had gotten away from them.
It wasn't just that day, time, and days had been slipping by at an alarming speed. She'd already been at the Hartman home for a week, and Jason was departing for California Monday. After he returned, she'd be heading back to Colorado Springs. She'd still be on medical leave, but the week after that- if her recovery continued to be smooth- she could start back to work part-time.
"I'm still going to start you something," Elizabeth said. "It will be bedtime soon, and we need to get some food in you by then."
"Okay," Gavin said without looking up from his drawing.
Her phone rang, and she gave a little sigh of relief until she saw the caller ID. Johns Hopkins? She'd had another post-op appointment just days before. Her test results must have been really bad for them to call her at 8 pm on a Friday night.
"Hello, this is Elizabeth."
"Elizabeth Weir?" a woman asked.
"Yes. Is this about my test results?"
"Test results? No, my name is Sarah. I'm calling from the emergency room."
Her heart skittered against her ribs. Elizabeth stood and walked into the kitchen. "Is it Jason?"
"Mr. Hartman was in a serious car accident. He didn't have an emergency contact set up on his phone that we could access, but we found your name and number in his wallet. Are you family? I can't release information if you're not."
She didn't hesitate. "Yes. What is his condition?"
"I don't have the specifics on the extent of his injuries, they took him straight to surgery. He had abdominal swelling, and they suspect he was bleeding internally. "
"Oh my god. I'm…I'm on my way."
"It'll be a few hours before he's out of surgery. Take your time and drive safely, dear." Sarah gave her some basic instructions on parking and his location before disconnecting.
Elizabeth was trembling as she looked back into the living room, spotting Gavin content, happily drawing away. Her mind raced, and she made a snap decision.
She pulled up her phone and dialed. "Dave? It's Elizabeth. No, John's fine, but I was wondering if you could help me." She filled him in and finished by asking if she could drop Gavin off for the night.
"Of course. Do you want me to pick him up instead?"
"No, it's not that far out of the way. You should check with Valerie first, make sure she doesn't mind."
"Are you kidding? You're bringing entertainment for Mason. She'll be thrilled. Mason will be thrilled too. He had a friend that was supposed to sleep over, but he got sick and couldn't make it."
"You should check with her anyway. It's a lot, especially considering you have an eight-month-old."
"Okay, hold on." Dave came back on the line a moment later. "She said to pack him a swimsuit too. He can stay as long as you need. Hey, you'll finally get to meet our little Katelyn. I just wish it was under better circumstances."
"Me too." She hung up and headed towards the fridge, working quickly to pull together a dinner that Gavin could eat on the way.
~v~v~
The beeping of the medical equipment was grating on her nerves. So were the smell and the sounds of the hospital. She thought she'd gotten clear of that unpleasantness, but here she was, watching Jason lay unconscious in the hospital bed. He was bruised, cut, and bandaged, and wired up to every medical contraption she could imagine.
A dump truck had run a red light, and it had t-boned Jason's truck. He had a broken rib, ruptured lung and spleen, but the surgery had been successful, or so they thought.
The most dangerous injury was the one you couldn't see. The MRI had shown a cerebral edema, swelling of his brain. They'd put Jason in a medically induced coma, hoping to get him through the night. They'd take another scan the next day. If they were lucky, the intracranial pressure would have subsided. If not…hell, she didn't even want to think about it.
A nurse entered the room, checking the vitals, and fussing with his central line.
"You should go home," the nurse said. "We have your number. We'll contact you if anything happens."
"I'd like to stay if that's okay."
"Of course. The sofa pulls out and makes a bed. There's linen in the closest."
"Jason's things, are they-"
"In the closest as well."
"Including his phone?"
The nurse pulled out a large ziplock bag and inventoried the contents, finding Jason's wallet, some loose change, and his cell phone. "Yes, it's in here."
That was good. She knew Jason's password. She'd need to contact his parents, but it was after midnight. With Jason's father's condition, it would be better to wait until morning. It was hours earlier in Colorado Springs, though. There was one call she could make.
She fished her phone out of her purse and dialed. After ringing several times voice mail finally picked up. "Cameron. It's Elizabeth." She left the basic details and asked him to call her back.
She went back to Jason's side and took his hand. "We're going to get you through this, but you have to fight, understand?"
The nurse had said some movement from Jason was expected, advising her not to read too much into it. Her heart still surged as his hand tightened around her. She pushed the nurse's warnings away and squeezed back.
~v~v~
Johns t-shirt was soft beneath her fingers. The steady rhythm of his heart settled her nerves as she shook off the darkness of her dream. She stretched her arm around him and tightened her hold. Her nose tucked against his neck, inhaling, and drawing in the scent of his cologne. She inhaled again, realizing something was off. It was the body wash. When had John changed it? He'd used the same brand for the past four years. Her eyes flashed open.
"John?" She edged back, locking on Cameron's blue eyes. Everything came flooding back. The car crash. The hospital. She growled in frustration as she breathed in his cologne again. "What do they do, issue all Air Force personnel the same cologne now?"
Cam snorted in laughter. "I don't know about the cologne, but if you want to talk about continuity, I'm pretty sure all women come hard-wired for cuddling. You were out cold when I got here. I sat down to wait and within minutes you'd curled up around me." He rubbed his eyes. "I probably passed out not long after that."
Heat rushed her cheeks. "You should have woken me. Or moved me."
"I figured you needed the sleep, and I was afraid to move you. I didn't want to hurt your incision."
She nodded slowly, blinking as she fought to emerge the fog of sleep. After the late night, sleep wasn't releasing her from its clutches without a fight.
Someone cleared their throat, and Elizabeth glanced to the doorway, wincing as the overhead light brightened. "Simon?"
"Am I interrupting?" Simon asked.
Cameron lifted his arm from behind her back and casually ran his hand over his hair. She blinked again, realizing she was still nestled against him. She sat up and yawned. "What are you doing here?"
"One of the surgical nurses recognized you," Simon said. "She told me you were here. You should have called me. You're still recovering; you're not running at full strength. You shouldn't be alone."
"She called me," Cameron leaned forward, giving Simon a pointed look. "She wasn't alone."
She didn't have to make introductions. He'd met Simon weeks ago when she'd had her surgery.
"Has his surgeon made rounds yet this morning?" Simon asked.
She looked at Cameron, and he shrugged.
"We were asleep if he did," she said.
Simon's lips pressed together. "I'll go see what I can find out. You need anything?"
She shook her head, and Simon left the room.
"This Simon fellow," Cam said. "You two used to be more than friends?"
"A long, long time ago."
"Is he always that prickly when other men are around you?"
"What do you mean?" Simon was one of the nicest men she'd ever met. Maybe polite to a fault, she realized as Jason's words came back to her. "Maybe I have let him help me too much the past few weeks. I hope I didn't give him the wrong idea." Though, she knew Simon better than they did. She wasn't reading that kind of interest from him.
"I've seen you with him. You're not giving him the wrong idea, but he's putting off some strong vibes."
"What kind of vibes?"
"The expectant kind. The jealous kind."
She rubbed her temple. She wasn't buying it, and even if there was something she'd missed, Simon wasn't a priority. Jason was, as was his son. She reached across Cam and grabbed her phone. Not quite 7 am.
"I need to check on Gavin today," she said. "I took him to John's brother's house last night. He has a son Gavin's age."
"How's he holding up?"
"He doesn't know," she said feeling a sense of déjà vu. Just weeks before they'd had a similar conversation about John. "What do I tell him, Cam? He's so young."
The thought of Gavin's reaction choked her up, and her eyes grew watery. Cameron shifted sideways and pulled her into a hug.
"Let's see what the docs have to say," Cam said. "After that, I can go with you if you'd like. We can talk to him together."
"That would be..." she sighed rubbing her eyes again, "that would be great actually. Thank you."
"I found the surgeon." Simon walked back in the room. "He's -oh."
Elizabeth pulled out of Cameron's arms, ignoring his pointed look. "What about the surgeon?" she asked Simon.
"He hasn't made rounds yet. They're going to do a few more tests and run another MRI. If the swelling has reduced, they'll stop administering the drugs that are keeping him from waking up."
"So we're basically waiting for him to come and tell us to wait some more?" she asked.
"It's not his fault, Elizabeth," Simon said. "That's how this works. Slow and steady. They have to be smart about this. Brain injuries are tricky."
"I know. I'm sorry. Thank you for asking."
"I'll, uh, stop back by later." Simon's eyes darted from her to Cameron. "If that's okay."
Cameron nodded his head while giving her a discreet tap on the leg. She rolled her eyes at him. He and Jason were reading too much into this. Simon had always been more comfortable with a suit wearing, wine drinking kind of crowd. The gun-toting, muscled types, not so much. Jason and Cam made him nervous. That was all.
"Thanks, Simon," she said as he left. She stood up and stretched before grabbing her purse and sorting out her medicine.
"We haven't talked in a few days, everything still going okay with you?" Cam asked. He'd kept close tabs on her before and after surgery, and he'd continued to call after her release.
"I really didn't expect it to go this well, but so far, so good."
"Guess our line of work kind of inhibits the power of positive thinking. Oh, hey. I reached out to Carter," Cameron said. "Asked her to let Sheppard know. They were running some kind of long op, and he wasn't due to check in for 48 hours."
"Two days?"
"They were heading to some planet that was twelve hours from a space gate. They found something in the database. Looks like there was an outpost there at some point."
"An ancient outpost twelve hours away from the space gate? That doesn't sound like the Ancients."
"Carter thought they might have destroyed the gate during the war with the Wraith."
That was a distinct possibility. If they'd gone to that much effort, it would be worth investigating what type of work was being done there.
"They might return early, you never know. She'll tell him as soon as he does so he can get back."
"And then what? You'll have to go?" She frowned. "You should both be able to be here for Jason."
"Caldwell's not far out from Atlantis. He can hang out for a while, and Carter's there. It'll be fine."
She nudged his arm as a team of doctors entered the room, and Cam and Elizabeth turned their full attention to them.
~TBC.
I didn't expect to get this chapter ready so soon. Even better news, the next- and final- chapter is already drafted. I just need to let it sit for a few days before I start editing. It might be ready to post it in as soon as a week, two weeks' tops if life gets in the way. I'm hoping you'll find it worth the wait. Thanks for reading and to all of you who have left reviews.
