Himayura Hidekaz owns Hetalia.

Warning- May contain some racial slurs or "speaking the lord(s) name in vain." I don't mean to offend ANYONE!

Dr. Roboto Oh yeah, and I have "aphaphaph" for scene changes on this fic because a bunch of ~'s or *'s won't show up on fanfiction.

APHAPHAPH

Russia picked up the phone and dialed a number. He didn't have to think hard on who should be America's next "client," even though he knew that the nation was also hurting. He would have to make a deal that includes food as well, though Russia didn't mind.

"Allo? Qui est ce?"* That voice finally called out.

"Hello, France. It's Russia." Russia went around and sat down at his desk. "Do you remember when you told America, "your ass is mine" at the last world conference?"

"Vaguely. Pour quoi?"*

Russia smirked. "Because, I have him here, and I am willing to make a deal with you if you want to-"

"Wait- are you saying that you want me to have sex with America?"

"Да~! It would benefit you, as well as my self."

"How?"

"I will give you double the amount you pay me in rice, so you won't have to worry about starv-"

"Degoutant!* I have my standers!"

"That's not a nice thing to say!" Russia said in a mocking worried tone.

"I meant that was there to help raise him. You should already know that! Me having sex with him would be incest!"

Russia's smile left, and was replaced with confusion. "I thought you helped raise Canada?"

"They're twins! Why would I ignore one child to raise the other? And what do you mean that you have him there?"

"I'm helping him! I'm feeding him, and he barely needs to do a thing!"

"So he's paying you back with his body?" France asked.

"Да. How else could he pay me back in this "great depression" he's going through?"

"Well, why would you call me of all people?"

Russia smiled again. "Because everyone knows that you like a good fuck."

"Just... Let me ask you this- would you ever have sex with your sisters?"

An image of Belarus popped in his head, and he shuddered. "...Thanks for your time anyway."

"Don't you dare ask me such questions, ever again. I would never have sex with my children!" France hung up on Russia.

Russia sighed, setting the phone down on the receiver. He tilt his seat back and staired at the ceiling.

"Who else would want to fuck America?" He asked himself in a mutter. "...Turkey? Though I should probably wait a week or so for America to close up again..." He got off of the chair and sat back down on the bed. "Right, America?"

America looked away. He had his hands tied behind him, and his mouth gagged. He needed sleep, but he was afraid of what Russia would do to his unconcious body. He noticed the way Russia was staring at him when he was eating. He had his chin resting on his hands, shoulders on the table, and smiling while watching America eat.

"I can help you fall asleep if you're having trouble." Russia groped America gently. America closed his eyes and tried to relax. He rubbed his cheek against the pillow under him before going to sleep.

APHAPHAPH

We found quite a few places! One is by so many places to choose from for jobs!

Funny story time!-

My dad told me, in a VERY serious voice-

"If you ever get pregnant, STOP taking your anti-depressant." (that I won't mentioned 'cause I don't want to go out of my way to see who created it.)

So I said-

"That shouldn't be a problem, 'cause a pharmacy is right down the street!" (Plus I see at LEAST three of those commercials a day!)

He just walked away.