April 15th, 2003 was the 4th anniversary of this story! Wow! I'll try to update this a bit more.
"What Mmm?" cried Gandalf, "Why this is only the most amazing stuff I've ever tasted! What texture, what a flavor! What I wouldn't give for a cracker at this moment in time!"
"Look!" cried Pippin. He had opened an unassuming door to the side of the kitchen. "A whole roomful of the stuff!"
"Oh!" cried Gandalf rapturously. He jumped into the pantry (for that was what it was) and opened a jar and sniffed deeply.
Merry had wandered into the living room. There was a strange looking pair of stairs leading up. Near it was a control panel with two buttons. One reading "Go" and the other reading "Stop". He pushed the "Go" button, and the stairs magically began to move upwards. Merry yelped and rushed back to the others, who were still looking around the kitchen.
"What did you see?" whispered Pippin to him.
"Stairs," whispered Merry. "And they moved!"
"Oh, really?"
Legolas had found the strangest box, it was white and cold inside. There seemed to have several manners of food inside, and he was at the moment shaking a round red metal object with white flowing letters trying to get it open. He looked at the top of it, and noticed a ring type thing. He pried it up, and pulled on it. The resulting spray got him full in the face causing him to drop it and yell.
"It's attacking me!" he shouted. "Hey, it doesn't taste half bad!"
"It's probably a booby trap! Don't eat it, it's poisonous!" cried Aragorn dropping the toaster oven he was inspecting. Legolas kicked the can fiercly and jumped onto the counter spitting.
Gimli was inspecting a strange object upon a tabletop, it had a handle and several strange buttons. He pushed the top of it with his axe, and the funny shaped handle thing fell off, but the cord attached kept it from hitting the floor. Gimli bent close cautiously, as he heard a strange note coming from it. A moment later, there was a voice.
'If you would like to make a call, please...'
"It's talking!" shouted Gimli. Arwen picked it up and stared at it.
"A talking handle," she murmured. "What does it say?"
"Don't listen to it! It will cast you under its spell!" shouted Gimli again. He whacked the buttons with his axe.
"Wait! The voice has stopped!" cried Arwen. Everyone in the kitchen stopped and looked at her. Gandalf poked his head out of the pantry, Merry and Pippin stopped fighting, Frodo stopped crying, Legolas stopped wiping his tongue on his sleeve, Aragorn stopped looking at the funny staff with fuzz on the end, Sam stopped polishing the white box and Gimli stopped whacking the buttons.
"What does it say?" said Aragorn.
"It's a ringing noise, no a click!" Everyone listened intently. A voice was heard.
"Hello?"
"Ahh! It's back!" shouted Gimli.
"Who is this?"
"It can hear us! Quick, kill it!" shrieked Aragorn.
"Aragorn?"
"ARGH! IT KNOWS MY NAME! HIDE ME!" Aragorn dashed into the pantry and closed the door.
"I know that voice," muttered Arwen.
"Put the handset to your ear!" said the voice again.
"No don't do it!" hollered Aragorn from inside. "I'd come and kill it, but, but, I can't get out! Help, someone!" Arwen slowly put the handset to her ear.
"Hello? Who is this?" She listened for a second and then piercingly screeched.
"Kill it!" Gimli shouted again, raising his axe to do so.
"EOWYN!" squealed Arwen again. "Eowyn, where are you? Is Faramir with you? How did you get into the little box?" She listened some more. "She wants to know where we are!"
"Well, I'm standing in a kitchen," said Gimli.
"I'm stuck!" wailed Aragorn.
"Didn't that man say Los Angeles?" said Sam.
She told Eowyn and then waited. "In a house." "A green table." "What?"
"Gimli, I need you to do something! Go to the front of the house, and there are some numbers, I need you to memorize them and come tell me."
"And then you can come let me out!" came Aragorn's voice.
Gimli bowed stiffly and walked out the door. He looked at the side of the house intently mouthing to himself. He walked back in and told her the number, which she repeated into the phone. (That's what it is, after all. I bet you've never seen a phone with a cord, huh? *wink*)
"It's 1002," she said. "It's a very big house, and it's got a gate in front!"
"Let me see that!" said Gandalf.
"Aww, Dad!" whined Arwen.
"Don't talk back to your father!" He took it. "Hello? Could you bring crackers?"
"Dad!" whined Legolas. "Who cares about crackers? I've been poisoned!"
"Here," snapped Gandalf. "Eat this!" he threw a can of peanut butter and it hit the wall and splattered some of the gooey stuff all over the counter. Legolas made a face and tried some.
"Oh dear," said Sam.
"Lots of crackers!" continued Gandalf, and then he put the handset back in its cradle with a bang.
Arwen immediately grabbed it and put it to her ear again. "She's gone!" she cried. "And that other voice is back!"
"Kill it!" boomed Gimli finally doing so. He whacked it so hard that the table split in half.
"Give me that axe, Gimli, before you hurt someone," ordered Aragorn who had finally gotten out.
"Aww," whined Gimli.
Ok, here's the deal here. Somehow, they all have been brainwashed and think they're related. (Hey, they got zapped here, right? Who's to say they didn't?)
So, Merry, Pippin, Sam and Frodo think that they're Aragorn and Arwen's children, Frodo being the baby of the family, Arwen and Legolas are now brother and sister, being Gandalf's children. Gimli is a rich idiot. I'll be introducing more characters later on, hopefully.
Merry and Pippin are the troublemakers, Sam is the good son and picked on, Frodo is adorable and cutsey and loved by everyone save Merry and Pippin, Gandalf is a rather senile old busybody and gets crazier, Gimli is a rather senile younger busybody, Legolas is infatuated with his long, DARK silky hair, Aragorn is the only one with some semblance of sanity, and Arwen is a ditz. Oh yeah, and she CAN'T COOK, thus evidencing the introduction of an AU character in the next chapter or two. This is gonna be one crowded house, I can tell ya.
"What Mmm?" cried Gandalf, "Why this is only the most amazing stuff I've ever tasted! What texture, what a flavor! What I wouldn't give for a cracker at this moment in time!"
"Look!" cried Pippin. He had opened an unassuming door to the side of the kitchen. "A whole roomful of the stuff!"
"Oh!" cried Gandalf rapturously. He jumped into the pantry (for that was what it was) and opened a jar and sniffed deeply.
Merry had wandered into the living room. There was a strange looking pair of stairs leading up. Near it was a control panel with two buttons. One reading "Go" and the other reading "Stop". He pushed the "Go" button, and the stairs magically began to move upwards. Merry yelped and rushed back to the others, who were still looking around the kitchen.
"What did you see?" whispered Pippin to him.
"Stairs," whispered Merry. "And they moved!"
"Oh, really?"
Legolas had found the strangest box, it was white and cold inside. There seemed to have several manners of food inside, and he was at the moment shaking a round red metal object with white flowing letters trying to get it open. He looked at the top of it, and noticed a ring type thing. He pried it up, and pulled on it. The resulting spray got him full in the face causing him to drop it and yell.
"It's attacking me!" he shouted. "Hey, it doesn't taste half bad!"
"It's probably a booby trap! Don't eat it, it's poisonous!" cried Aragorn dropping the toaster oven he was inspecting. Legolas kicked the can fiercly and jumped onto the counter spitting.
Gimli was inspecting a strange object upon a tabletop, it had a handle and several strange buttons. He pushed the top of it with his axe, and the funny shaped handle thing fell off, but the cord attached kept it from hitting the floor. Gimli bent close cautiously, as he heard a strange note coming from it. A moment later, there was a voice.
'If you would like to make a call, please...'
"It's talking!" shouted Gimli. Arwen picked it up and stared at it.
"A talking handle," she murmured. "What does it say?"
"Don't listen to it! It will cast you under its spell!" shouted Gimli again. He whacked the buttons with his axe.
"Wait! The voice has stopped!" cried Arwen. Everyone in the kitchen stopped and looked at her. Gandalf poked his head out of the pantry, Merry and Pippin stopped fighting, Frodo stopped crying, Legolas stopped wiping his tongue on his sleeve, Aragorn stopped looking at the funny staff with fuzz on the end, Sam stopped polishing the white box and Gimli stopped whacking the buttons.
"What does it say?" said Aragorn.
"It's a ringing noise, no a click!" Everyone listened intently. A voice was heard.
"Hello?"
"Ahh! It's back!" shouted Gimli.
"Who is this?"
"It can hear us! Quick, kill it!" shrieked Aragorn.
"Aragorn?"
"ARGH! IT KNOWS MY NAME! HIDE ME!" Aragorn dashed into the pantry and closed the door.
"I know that voice," muttered Arwen.
"Put the handset to your ear!" said the voice again.
"No don't do it!" hollered Aragorn from inside. "I'd come and kill it, but, but, I can't get out! Help, someone!" Arwen slowly put the handset to her ear.
"Hello? Who is this?" She listened for a second and then piercingly screeched.
"Kill it!" Gimli shouted again, raising his axe to do so.
"EOWYN!" squealed Arwen again. "Eowyn, where are you? Is Faramir with you? How did you get into the little box?" She listened some more. "She wants to know where we are!"
"Well, I'm standing in a kitchen," said Gimli.
"I'm stuck!" wailed Aragorn.
"Didn't that man say Los Angeles?" said Sam.
She told Eowyn and then waited. "In a house." "A green table." "What?"
"Gimli, I need you to do something! Go to the front of the house, and there are some numbers, I need you to memorize them and come tell me."
"And then you can come let me out!" came Aragorn's voice.
Gimli bowed stiffly and walked out the door. He looked at the side of the house intently mouthing to himself. He walked back in and told her the number, which she repeated into the phone. (That's what it is, after all. I bet you've never seen a phone with a cord, huh? *wink*)
"It's 1002," she said. "It's a very big house, and it's got a gate in front!"
"Let me see that!" said Gandalf.
"Aww, Dad!" whined Arwen.
"Don't talk back to your father!" He took it. "Hello? Could you bring crackers?"
"Dad!" whined Legolas. "Who cares about crackers? I've been poisoned!"
"Here," snapped Gandalf. "Eat this!" he threw a can of peanut butter and it hit the wall and splattered some of the gooey stuff all over the counter. Legolas made a face and tried some.
"Oh dear," said Sam.
"Lots of crackers!" continued Gandalf, and then he put the handset back in its cradle with a bang.
Arwen immediately grabbed it and put it to her ear again. "She's gone!" she cried. "And that other voice is back!"
"Kill it!" boomed Gimli finally doing so. He whacked it so hard that the table split in half.
"Give me that axe, Gimli, before you hurt someone," ordered Aragorn who had finally gotten out.
"Aww," whined Gimli.
Ok, here's the deal here. Somehow, they all have been brainwashed and think they're related. (Hey, they got zapped here, right? Who's to say they didn't?)
So, Merry, Pippin, Sam and Frodo think that they're Aragorn and Arwen's children, Frodo being the baby of the family, Arwen and Legolas are now brother and sister, being Gandalf's children. Gimli is a rich idiot. I'll be introducing more characters later on, hopefully.
Merry and Pippin are the troublemakers, Sam is the good son and picked on, Frodo is adorable and cutsey and loved by everyone save Merry and Pippin, Gandalf is a rather senile old busybody and gets crazier, Gimli is a rather senile younger busybody, Legolas is infatuated with his long, DARK silky hair, Aragorn is the only one with some semblance of sanity, and Arwen is a ditz. Oh yeah, and she CAN'T COOK, thus evidencing the introduction of an AU character in the next chapter or two. This is gonna be one crowded house, I can tell ya.
