A/N - Sorry about the delay in this update. I am still not 100% happy with this update but wanted to get it out.
I am hoping to have another update in a few days.
Any and all feedback is very welcome.
Have a wonderful day everyone.
Chapter 4
Stef
We have been sitting on the couch for close to an hour in silence. Everyone in her own thoughts. Callie has finally fallen asleep. The poor girl looks like she hasn't slept in days. I can't imagine what she has been feeling since yesterday. I can't say I am happy that she turned to alcohol instead of to us but I can understand it. This is something that no one at any age should ever have to deal with.
I look over to Lena and she has her eyes closed. The tears have dried on her cheeks. My beautiful wife. She has a love that truly knows no bounds. Her love and compassion are a part of her that I fell in love with.
As I am watching her she opens her eyes and looks at me.
There is sadness in there and it hurts to see it there but I know the same hurt is reflected in my eyes.
"I'll carry her to bed. Then we need to talk." I whisper over Callie to Lena. She nods her acknowledgement.
I let go of Callie's hand and stand up. She squirms and whimpers in her sleep. She snuggles further into Lena and I smile. It really is adorable. I pick Callie up and lift her up. She instantly grabs onto my shirt but doesn't wake up. Lena walks in front of me and motions towards our bedroom while opening the door.
"She will be left alone to sleep in here. I noticed she hasn't been sleeping well" Lena whispers to me as I lay Callie down onto my side of the bed. I go to stand up but Callie wont let go of my shirt.
I think for a moment.
"Love could you get me one of my hoodies please." I ask Lena.
She returns with one of my police hoodies and I put that next to Callie who gently released my shirt.
It works and Callie grabs the jumper and brings it to her face. I smile.
"I used to do that with Brandon when he was a baby. It worked every time." I tell Lena.
I cherish the memory. It makes me wish I had seen Callie and Jude as babies. Lena comes up behind me and leans her chin on my shoulder.
"Our poor baby" Lena said and I could hear the unshed tears in her voice.
"We need to make this official Stef. We can't let anyone hurt them ever again."
"I know Love and I completely agree but first we need to ring bill about Liam. Get that girl out of there."
"We will have him bring over the papers for adoption at the same time."
"Perfect."
I am outside watering the garden just taking a few minutes to clear my brain. Lena is inside making the call to Bill.
I wish I knew how to take this pain away. I wish I could turn back time and save my beautiful girl all this pain.
"I spoke to Bill he can't come out today but he will be around first thing Monday." Lena interrupts my thoughts.
"Mm that's good Love"
"It will be okay Stef. She will be okay"
"I know Love it just makes me angry thinking about what happened to these beautiful kids."
"Me too. We cant change the past but we can do everything we can to change their futures."
"Maybe we can do something fun tonight? As a family."
"I think that sounds amazing
Callie
Just after dinner Stef and Lena called everyone into the lounge room. I choose a single seat away from everyone. I catch Stef watching me but she lets me be. I sigh in relief. I need some distance.
"Okay guys Mamma and I thought we could all use some family time" Stef says to us.
"So what do you all think we should do?" Lena says this time.
"Can we have a movie night?" Jude asks quietly. It makes me happy that he feels safe enough here to ask for things now.
"I think that sounds perfect buddy," Lena tells him.
"We just have to pick a movie now. Anyone got any suggestions?"
"A romantic" Mariana says before everyone else.
"Ugh no way. I don't want to watch a girly movie," Jesus argues.
"What about Pitch Perfect?" Lena asks everyone as she scrolls through movies on Netflix.
"Yes I like that movie" Jude says.
"I am cool with that one" I look over to Brandon as he speaks.
"Jesus? Mariana?"
"Yea I guess I am okay with that," Jesus says surprisingly and Mariana smiles.
"What about you Callie? Is this one okay?"
I just shrug and nod my head. This is the last place I want to be. I just want to be alone in bed.
Lena is sitting against Stef and Jude next to Lena. Brandon is on the other seat and Marianna and Jesus are laying on a matres on the floor.
I wonder if they will notice if I leave after a while. I decide to take my chance. It's about half way through before I make my move. I look around and everyone is too busy watching the movie. I silently slip out of the room and go into my room. I lie down and face the wall. My sleeve rolls up my arm and I look at some of the scars on my arm. I trace my fingers over them. I know every scar. I remember each and every hurt that made me cut my skin. I trace the only scar on my wrist.
I have lots of scars most of which were out of my control. But these ones are different. They are mine. This one is Liam's; it will always be there. It will haunt me as it reminds me daily of my nightmare.
"Callie?"
I jump at the sound of Stef's voice and I instantly pull the blanket over my arms. I wonder how long she was standing there.
"Sorry I was just tired so I thought I would come to bed."
"Do you feel okay Sweets?"
I don't know why but this irritates me. Why do they continue to care?
"I'm fine"
I know it comes out snarky but I cannot help it. I can feel her watching my back.
"If you need anything, come and find us yes?"
"Yea I know"
I think about school tomorrow and I wish I didn't have to go. Everyone is so uptight there. I see the way the other kids look at me. It's the same look I have seen cast my way my entire life. Like I am not good enough. I know they are right. I am not good enough and I never will be.
Lena
Callie went upstairs half way through the movie. I know Stef wanted to go check on her right away but she waited hoping she would come back down stairs. After half an hour and she still hadn't come down Stef headed upstairs.
She was gone for a few minutes but comes back down stairs alone.
"She said she was tired and wanted to go to bed," Stef whispered to me.
"That is understandable she has had a big day emotionally"
"Yes that is true"
I lean back against Stef and continue watching the movie.
The credits roll and I stand up and stretch my back.
"Okay Guys time for bed. School in the morning"
Everyone starts getting up and heading up stairs except for Jude he seems to be hanging around waiting for everyone to leave.
"Is Callie okay?" He asks Stef and I after everyone leaves.
"Yea she is Bud. Just having a hard time at the moment."
Jude nods and looks to the ground for a moment. He looks terribly guilty and I look over to Stef. She notices this too.
"What is it Jude?" Stef looks him in the eye and I sit back down net to Stef.
"I … I may have said something to her this morning."
"Its okay. What did you say?"
"I yelled at her and told her she ruins everything. I was angry at her for what she did and I was worried you were going to send us away because of what Callie did."
"Oh baby why on earth would we send you away for that?"
"It wouldn't be the first time"
I pull Jude to me and hug him tightly.
"We love you and Callie very very much. We would never send you away."
This seems to calm him and he sits up.
"You owe Callie an apology bud. I am sure she will understand."
"I know. I will talk to her in the morning. I'm going to bed now."
"Okay. Mom and I will be up in a minute to say goodnight"
