Draco: Come on Voldie...you know you want to...

Voldemort: Fine. But you have to too!

Draco. Okay. Five, six seven eight:

V, D and H: "Three little girls from school are we,

Pert as schoolgirls well can be,

Filled to the brim with girlish glee,

Three little maids from school!"

Voldy: Oh, Snapie…come back to bed…

Snape: WHAT?!? When was I ever in bed with – looks Voldemort up and down- that?

Voldie: you don't remember all the fun we had last night? –Unhappy sounding, pouts- (Voldie inside: good he doesn't remember. Damn I'm good with these memory spells, that's not all I'm good with….)

Voldemort: Draco, as you know, your father has been sent to Azkaban. And you will be needing to take his place in the Organisation

Draco: Yeah...okay..

Voldemort: first things first; strip.

Voldy: Draco, I need you do something.

Draco: what is it, Lord?

Voldie: Well, get on your knees and don't be surprised if you feel anything or a strange sensation

Harry: I'm going to get that Voldemort if it's the last thing I do...

Draco: But...what about meeeeee?

Harry: o.o"

Draco: oh, Harry(plays with Harry's tie/chest area)

Harry: Draco?

Draco: it's just you and me here all alone in this here carriage - all alone.

Sirius: I hate you.

Snape: I love you.

Sirius: I...wait what did you say!?

Snape: Uhh...I said what you said. I -mumble- you too, you scum...

Sirius: Riiiight...

Snape: -pounces and snogs-

Voldie: how about we play a game of Simon Says, Ok?

Draco: Ok, my lord.

Voldie: Simon says…. bend over.

-Draco bends over-

Vodie: Simon says take off your pants.

-Draco takes off pants butt baring at Voldie-

Voldie: now don't be alarmed if you feel anything or a strange sensation.

Draco: …you didn't say Simons says. –pouts-

Voldy: Draco, I need you to do something for me.

Draco: what is it, Lord?

Voldy: Well, get on your knees...

Draco: oh, Harry forgetting something?

( Holds up Undies)

Harry: Draco!!!!

Ron: Alright who here has kissed Ginny?

Everyone in room puts up hand including Hermione.

Ron: Oh, Shit.

Harry walks into Malfoy's room while he's asleep. Draco wakes up.

Draco: Harry WHAT THE HELL!!!

- hand over Draco's mouth and whispers-

Harry: Shhhhh…..don't ruin the moment.

Draco looks around alarmed.

Harry: I've waited my whole life for this…

Harry: not in your wildest dreams!

Draco: oh, I've had much, MUCH wilder… and I'm sure you can fulfil them as well….

Harry: o.O

Draco & Voldie: We're Barbie girls, in our Barbie worlds. We are spastic, made out of plastic!

Voldie: DRACO, I said you couldn't use my make up!!

Voldie: Aww wormtail you look so nice in pink

Wormtail: grr….-muttering- the things I go th….

Voldie: tut tut. As I thought, not as good as when you're naked.

-rips the robes off and, yeah…use your imagination-

Draco: Harry come with me!

-Drags Harry away from Gryffindor table and up to Astronomy tower-

Draco: How do I say this? I have to confess something…

Harry: Err…

Draco: Harry, I'm gay! And I think I love you!

Hagrid: 'Arry. Do these pants look tight on me?

Harry: no, they perfectly sculpt your legs and give your butt a nice well rounded ….Opps said to much didn't I?

Sirius: -wonderment- Lupin are you my bitch or is it vis versa?

Lupin: o.O WTF!!!

Ron: Harry lets dress up as giant spiders and try to have mad, giant spider sex!!!

Harry: Draco?

Draco: Yes Harry?

Harry: you're invited to a sleepover!!! tonight!!! 9:30pm!!!!

Draco: who's coming?

Harry: just you...

Draco:……

Harry: … -mumbled- and me...if I'm lucky

Harry: Ron I'm gay and I think I love you!

Harry: What's with all of the fan girls!?

Ron: at least you have fan girls!

(Draco walks into room with a black wig, green contacts and ripped clothing)

Draco: What...?

( all randoms are female)

Random person: HARRY POTTER!!!!!! faints

Random person2: OMG!!! ITS HARRY!!! faints

Random people: HARRY !!!!!!!! faints

Harry: People!! I'm GAY!!! OK?!?!

-All people stop what they are doing, mad rush of boys to Harry...-

Boys: HARRY!!! we love you!!!

Harry: -mumbles- shouldn't of said that...

Harry: Oh, Ron…I'm hungry….for more then just food…(plays seductively with Ron's tie/chest area)

Ron: o.O WTF?!? (slowly backs away)

Ron: the skies are blue, not a cloud in the sky. The birds are singing and the bees are trying to have sex with them to my understanding…

Harry: dude…lay off phycodelic mushrooms…

Draco: where did my foundation go!?!

Voldemort: what's the point in living if I can't be beautiful?

Draco or Voldemort: (singing into hairbrush twirling their hair) I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world…

Harry: Snape, umm look I need a Love potion…

Voldemort: Feel the wrath of……PINKNESS!!!!!!! squee

Voldemort: Harry's such a nice boy it's a pity I have to kill him…