Chapter Four "Out of Control"

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Steve was still asleep when Dr. Hanna checked his wounds. His fever was rising and Dr. Hanna suspected there might be an infection in one of the holes in his chest. Or both.

"It's good you caught it so quickly," he said, looking at Catherine. "I'll get him back into surgery as soon as I can. Hopefully we'll get this under control."

Catherine nodded and Dr. Hanna left the room. Presently, Danny returned carrying a blanket, but without Grace.

Catherine turned to face him as he came in. "The doctor thinks—"

"I heard," Danny said.

"I have to leave soon. Kono and Mary both have my number, so if someone could call me..."

"I'll make sure you're kept in the loop."

Catherine nodded and turned back to look at Steve. She smoothed back his hair and willed him to wake up. She didn't want to leave him like this. As if in answer to her thoughts, his eyelids fluttered. It took him a few seconds, but finally his eyes opened completely and he looked up at Catherine.

"What's going on?" he asked, rather hoarsely.

"You have a fever," she said. "Maybe an infection. You're going back to surgery soon."

"Fun."

"Steve, I won't be here when you get out. I'm not going to be in the area again until March."

"Don't worry about it. I've got more than enough people here to look after me."

"I don't think an entire army could 'look after' you."

Steve smiled. "You're probably right."

"I know I am. Still, you do have a very smart little girl keeping tabs on you." Catherine eyed the blanket Danny held. As if on cue, Steve shivered and the two of them draped it over him.

"Don't worry," Danny said. "Grace and I will keep him in line."

Catherine smiled at Danny and looked back at Steve. "I have to go now," she said.

"I'll be here when you get back," Steve said.

Catherine kissed him lightly and whispered, "I'll hold you to that."

Then she left and for a while, Steve stared at the open door. His vision was sort of blurry from the fever and breathing hurt worse than before.

"You know, I get it," Danny said.

"Get what?" Steve replied.

"You two... well, I don't get what she sees in you..."

"Shut up, Danno."

"Don't call me that."

"Hey, I thought you were supposed to be nice to me."

"I brought you the blanket."

"So you have to balance out your acts of kindness with the usual testiness."

"I don't know why I talk to you."

Steve couldn't help a small laugh even though it hurt. "Because you love me. Everyone does."

"Except all those people who shoot at you all the time."

"They're not people."

"So your definition of a person is someone who loves you?"

"Well there are all those people who've never met me."

"And their lives just aren't complete... you know there are times I genuinely wish I'd never met you... but then I remember that you sicked the governor on Stan when Rachel wanted to take Grace away from me... and you let me tie that guy to the hood of my car."

"You still owe me for that one."

"Yeah. All I'm saying is don't die, okay?"

"You know, I don't plan on it."

"See, that's the thing, you never do. No one does. But people die every day."

"So what am I supposed to do about that."

"Nothing. You can't do anything. I think I would be happy if you'd just remember that."

"It might help if you'd stop calling me things like 'superman'."

"Sure. If that helps."

"Not really. I guess I've felt like my life was in my own hands for a long time."

"Well, now it's in the hands of one very dedicated doctor. I don't care how easy he makes it sound, digging seven bullets out of you has to be nearly impossible."

"It hurts if that makes you feel better."

"Why would that make me feel better?"

"I was just agreeing with you."

"You're gonna have to stop doing that soon. It's worrying me."

"Not a problem."

"Good. I have to go find Grace and call your sister."

"Where is she?"

"She went over to your place to leave her stuff. Said she'd be back this evening."

"You don't have to stay you know?"

"I know. The doctor's gonna be in soon."

Danny left the room and for the first time since he'd woken, Steve was alone. He considered whether he really ever did think he was invincible. He didn't think he did, but he could recall feeling in control. This was different though. Laying in a hospital bed unable to move, he was aware of just how little control he had. The more he thought about it, the more he realized his entire life had been out of control since he came back to Hawaii. He would never admit it, especially not to Danny.

It wasn't long before the doctor came back and Steve actually thought about what was going on. He knew he could have died. In fact he still could, but it wasn't all that likely.

Steve was almost glad when he was anesthetized. It meant he didn't have to think about anything for a while. Of course, he knew his chest would probably hurt worse when he woke up.

H-5-O

Mary Ann hurried back to the hospital after getting Danny's call. Chin and Kono were already there. Danny had called them too.

Kono and Grace were sitting on the floor in the waiting room, sharing a coloring book, and Danny and Chin were talking near the hallway. Mary wondered what she was supposed to do. It seemed Steve had already gone into surgery so the only thing left was to wait. It was almost irritating.

Mary sat down across from the girls, not really noticing their polite hellos. She knew Danny and Chin had observed her entrance, but didn't acknowledge it. So she crossed her arms and sat back in the chair. It was hard to believe that only that afternoon they had all been in Steve's room watching a movie and he seemed to be doing well. Mary should have known it wouldn't be that easy. She thought about the struggles she would face trying to help her brother recuperate. He would resist even the slightest assistance and she would have to press, because if he didn't take it easy, he would wind up right back in the hospital.

Mary shook her head. They had a long way to go before he even got to come home.

Home. Mary considered the word. She knew now that Hawaii was her home. Her parents' house. Living with her brother wouldn't be difficult. Keeping him alive, that was another story. Mary couldn't help thinking of when Steve sent her back to LA. He said this would always be her home, that he would bring her back. He did, just not how he thought he would.

Mary almost laughed remembering Steve's conditions. Self defense and a concealed weapons permit. She knew a bit of the first and wasn't too worried about the second. Of course, when it came to her brother, she was sure her skills were insufficient.

Mary didn't really notice the passage of time or when Danny and Chin joined them. When she looked up, Danny was sitting behind Grace and Chin was on the floor next to his cousin. Mary felt a little out of the loop, but she wasn't sure how to get in it. She reminded herself that these people were Steve's family, and hers by default. So, she got up and went over to sit next to Danny. He gave her a look that seemed to question if she was all right. She smiled what she hoped was a reassuring smile and Danny returned it. Then he turned back to Grace, seeing that she was finished coloring and wanted his honest opinion.

"It's all inside the lines," Danny said.

"Isn't it supposed to be?" Grace replied.

"Well, if you're a normal person, yes, but I think Uncle Steve would color outside the lines." Danny turned to Mary for confirmation.

"It's true," she said nodding. "He always added stuff too. Like tanks and airplanes and boats."

"Wouldn't he say ships?" Danny asked.

"Oh, yeah."

"Okay, Gracie. I think you need some ships in there."

Grace sighed and picked up a grey marker. "What kind?"

"An aircraft carrier," Mary said, "and a battleship."

Grace nodded. "And I'll put Catherine in the battleship and give it to Uncle Steve to make him feel better."

"That's a great idea," Kono said, taking a blue marker. "I think we need some water too."

Mary leaned back in her chair and watched as the others gave Grace suggestions on what Steve would like. They knew her brother as well as she did.

This chapter was a bit shorter, but I thought this was a good stopping place. Next chapter we'll see how Steve is doing.