"W-Why is it only an hour long?"
"Dunno…"
All six of them sat and stared in disbelief. Not only had their favorite show just ended an hour early, but the missing hour had been replaced with some kind of cutesy anime that no one seemed interested in (well Tieria held some mild interest, but quickly denied it). Now it was indeed a rare thing to have all of them over, but the experience would've been ten times better if an entire hour of their show had not been completely cut off.
Setsuna was especially hurt by this, having missed an entire weeks worth of episodes because he was, in his opinion, acting 'childish'. Yes, he was himself a child, but did not mean he liked behaving in that sort of way. The youngest never really thought of himself as a child, and that kind of mentality also affected how he reacted around other people. More then anything if the word 'child' ever left someone's lips he felt like scowling; on the outside he wanted to grow up as soon as possible, leaving the image people seemed to brand him with completely behind him. But…deep down he knew he'd just be missing out on his childhood. He'd heard the word a few times, having something to do with the 'younger years' of ones life. People said those times were important, necessary for growth and development in ones character. However, the problem was that he didn't know just how one went about living out a childhood.
But that was probably one of the many thingsNeil Dylandy was going to show him. The events of last week's 'incident' had made the younger boy force his…husband to swear to never tell, and of course the older boy 'swore on his duty as a husband' not to speak to a single soul about what had gone on. But seeing that they were outside, at lest a few people must've overhead them. Didn't that make the whole swearing thing pretty pointless? Setsuna didn't care…
A new life needed to be made, and even if he wanted to hold onto those pieces of the old one, he couldn't. He'd let them linger for a little while, but over time they would completely disappear. So in order for him to function properly he needed to start anew, no matter how much work he needed to put into it and no matter how much he disliked it. Change was not his friend…but somehow or another they needed to find a common ground. They needed to cooperate for the time being, even if one of them accidently slipped up. But Neil would be there…or rather Setsuna made himself believe that he was forcing to boy into help him. If that's what it took for him to start moving forward, that what he would do…and Neil seemed like the kind of person to go along with whatever the younger boy said.
Surprisingly change had decided to strike first; after going back inside after 'the incident' his mother informed him that he'd be staying over at the Dylandy's until she returned from work (she was awake so early because of…well…the noise). That was right…the only reason she was home to begin with was because she was job searching. He briefly wondered during that time what exactly he'd be doing; even though he was capable of taking care of himself, his mother in no way would've allow him to stay home alone. So he had received his answer…from the hours of seven in the morning to five in the afternoon he would be staying with his…husband and his family. The idea at first made him cringe; spending that much time with that boy was probably going to drive him insane, but the fact that he needed a life still loomed over him.
So he allowed himself to be dragged over to the Dylandy's house for an entire week (take a guess at who was doing the dragging). The first day was horrible; the boy had become ten times more attached to him then he usually was, and having him follow him just about everywhere irritated him to no end. To make matters worse (or perhaps better) it had started raining lightly, meaning not only would he be in the house he would be in the house ALL DAY WITH HIM. Lovely…He spent most of his time in Neil's room, in his arm, and about five seconds away from just leaving the house. But he couldn't leave…not only was he still doing the whole 'married' thing for his mother, but now he needed to start a new life in a village to keep himself together.
It was hard for him to even think about doing both of those things, but they needed to be done. So he stayed in the room, ignoring most of whatever the boy was saying and that fact that Lyle was sitting in the entrance of the room. The other boy had placed himself in-between the doorway, basically blocking the way for any kind of entry or escape. He did not make any sort of eye contact with either of them, only allowing his attention to be focused on the ground. Setsuna knew very well why he was there…he wanted to make sure his brother didn't…well…do anything. It was rather obvious that the other Dylandy had supposed 'feelings' for him, but he did a much better job at controlling himself. In general he seemed a little more introverted compared to his brother, but that might've just been a defense-mechanism since the person he 'loved' was around. That word meant nothing to him when those two were involved…but he wondered…would he actually have to accept that word one day as part of his life?
Like the word childhood, he had heard the word before but wasn't sure just how one feels or goes about obtaining it. He knew love for ones parent and love for another were two different things, but just what those differences were he didn't know. But if he did accept such a word, what would that mean? Would that mean he'd be happy? He didn't know, but curiously did get the better of him so he decided to bring the question back up in the future.
The next day was pretty much the same thing, minus the rain thankfully. But they still did not dare set foot outside; whenever rain fell on a hot day, it would only make things worse by making it steamy…and steamy hot was not a very nice feeling. So it was another day inside, but this time he did not spend all of his time in the older boy's room. Instead he spent most of the day down in the kitchen; their mother needed assistance while preparing dinner for that night, and since she needed to step out of the house to go shopping she needed someone to help with the prep. Setsuna did not have any problems with this, having helped his mother around the kitchen many of times. He knew a little more then just the basics, and found that anything was better then staying in Neil's room.
But when it came to both Dylandy boys…they knew nothing when it came to the workings of a kitchen. It seemed the only form of cooking either had ever had was licking the bowl after their mother was done with it, and to the youngest that was just another thing he had to deal with. He ignored them at first; he only listening as pots and pants fell to the ground loudly, making him wince as the deafening noise rang throughout his ears. The only time he paid them any mind was when he had decided to chop the vegetable that were left out, to which Neil practically leaped across the room and snatched the knife away from him. The older boy told him that someone his age (and his wife) shouldn't fool around with something that sharp, so he would take over for him. Setsuna knew it was probably only to impress him, but he was in no way impressed as he watched the boy cut himself more then a few times. After the fourth time, he quickly took the utensil away from him, telling him to go take care of his fingers. When he heard that saying such a thing meant he 'cared' about the boy's well being, and he simply replied that he didn't want him contaminating the food.
He really didn't care…he allowed Neil to think whatever he wanted, but he did not care about him. After the older boy had disappeared into the bathroom, he noticed Lyle get a little closer to him. Setsuna, like he did to his brother, paid him no mind and continued working on the greenery. However, he slowed, never stopped, as he felt the twin kiss him on the cheek lightly. He didn't look over at him, not wanting to end up like the other Dylandy in the bathroom. He heard the other boy say that he 'missed him after being gone for so long', and of course that followed with another quick kiss. With that he had to stop, placing the knife down against the cutting board and looking over at Lyle. They were the same height thanks to the small stepping stool he was standing on, so if he wanted he could've looked the older boy in the eye…but decided against it. The boy was blushing heavily, obviously holding some kind of embarrassment for his actions. If he was going to have such an expression on his face, why even bother kissing him?
He asked how someone can fall for another, especially since neither of them knew a thing about him. Said topic had become a common theme, and no matter how many ways he twisted the question he could not for the life of him get a straight answer out of anymore. Of course that time was no different, having the boy only blush deeper and run away. If life was going to be like this, or for that matter his…relationship with the other Dylandy, then it was rather clear that his days were going to be fairly long and strenuous. After he was done with the vegetables, Neil had finally emerged from the bathroom. When Setsuna told him his assistance was no longer needed the older boy laughed, taking it as a joke. He was then told that the lest thing his…husband could do was boil the water…to which he replied that he was incapable of doing so. And he was right.
Setsuna learned rather quickly that the Dylandy twin was just trying to astound him with skills he did not posses, so before the older boy could embarrass himself any further he stopped him. Knowing that he was probably going to be hugged for what he said was a given, but he still muttered that if Neil stirred he would pour whatever he needed to in the pot. Bracing himself, he sighed as the older boy pulled him into a tight hug which he was now sure was becoming an unnecessary habit. It really was rather redundant to be hugged all the time, and even if it was just his way of showing some kind of affection, he wanted some say in it. After all it was his body Neil was touching, so didn't that mean he could request for the boy to not touch him? Oh, he was free to request all he wanted…but he knew his…husband wasn't going to listen.
In all honesty, it seemed as if the older boy treated him more like oxygen rather then a person, something he needed to have in order to survive. That particular quality of Neil still greatly irritated him; Setsuna was by no means an idol, a peacekeeper, or someone in need of any kind of praise. He was just ten…he'd done nothing with those ten years, only living what he thought was a 'content life'. He wasn't content…he was far from it. That…thing inside of him made him believe he was content, filling his head with lies that he came to accept without question. Whatever it was it needed to die, not only because the youngest wanted change but because he wanted to…feel something other then what he was use to. To him 'normal' did not exist, so if he considered the life before he entered the village as 'abnormal' he wanted to know what a 'normal' life was like. Even if his circumstance was more then a little out of the ordinary (being married and what not), he thought there could've been some way for him to salvage some sort of ordinary living out of it.
Once the Dylandy's mother had returned home, she was rather surprised at all the work they had done (or more accurately he'd done). She praised both of them, but Neil said that all of it belonged to his 'wife'. Setsuna just sighed again, his attention fully on the woman as she asked if he'd like to stay over for dinner (since he'd already done so much). He didn't need to think too much about it, and the priced he paid for denying such an offer was his…husband whining rather loudly. He said that they 'should at lest have dinner together alone' once in a while, and of course the youngest just ignored him. Dinner? Alone? With him? Not a chance…He knew that the woman was just trying to be nice, but he didn't really consider himself ready for such a thing.
The remainder of the week was pretty much the same, helping the Dylandy's mother with any and all chores around the house. The only real difference was the arrival of Allelujah, his twin, and Tieria (who looked like she was forcibly dragged there). He saw them coming over as a good opportunity to find out just want kind of people they were, having only really engaging in any kind of conversation with them during that one day. The first and probably the most important thing he learned was that Allelujah's brother's name was, surprisingly, Hallelujah. He knew when it came to naming twins close sounding ones were sometimes an option, though he'd never actually meet anyone who'd actually followed that law…until that moment of course. Of course the two had to be different in some ways (seeing that Neil and Lyle were his only examples)…he just didn't know how different they were until they started cleaning the house.
Since the six of them were only given the task of cleaning the Dylandy boy's room, which didn't seem all that difficult. Other then the fact that Tieria had absolutely no idea how to use any of the cleaning products, much to the amusement of the 'elder'Haptism, everything seemed pretty routine…at lest to Setsuna. The first room to be cleaned was Lyle's, and for some reason he paid very close attention to everyone as they moved around. His room was rather well kept like his brother's, and the only thing it really needed was a good dusting. Hallelujah apparently thought that 'to dust' meant 'practically knock over everything in your path', and the only thing keeping all of the boy's belongs from crashing to the floor was the quick reflexes of the other Haptism twin. But that wasn't the worst…that moment came when Hallelujah found something that perked his interest.
While pulling Lyle's futon forward, the youngest noticed the 'oldest' Haptism's eye light up with mischief. He saw the boy quickly snatch something up from the floor and begin to exam it. Once he heard a loud gasp come from the direction the other Dylandy was in, he knew that something about to start. Much like his brother did the other day, he saw Lyle pretty much leap across the room and try to snatch whatever the second oldest was hold. But he noticed before his fingers could even reach it, only further making Hallelujah amused with the whole situation. When Lyle tried to go for it again, the Haptism simply pushed him away and asked him 'if he was a pervert'. Of course this grabbed the attention of just about everyone in the room, especially Setsuna's. He really didn't care what the two were doing or just what the object was, but the word 'pervert' had just been used. He really didn't see the other Dylandy as such a thing (his brother was a slightly different matter…), so he couldn't help but look over at them.
But he instead found himself interested in what the two were fighting over…a picture. Or better put it was a picture of him, probably taken about a year ago. Why the hell would he have something like that? Neil immediately got involved, wanting to know just why his brother still owned any pictures of his 'wife'. Still? What did he mean still? Lyle just blushed deeply and told him that they'd talk later, but in exchange he'd need the picture back. Setsuna just sat and watched as Lyle frantically tried to get his picture back, wanting nothing to do with the entire thing. It was a little…disturbing to know that the other Dylandy actually kept pictures of him around his room…and it was even worse when he thought that Neil too probably owned the same image of him. That sent a little shiver down his spin…
In the long run Hallelujah did give the picture back to Lyle, only after being kicking in the shin and wrestled him for it. Allelujah practically freaked out the entire time, trying his best break them apart before anyone was hurt. He got himself hit a few times, makingTieria bark at the two fighting boys to 'cut it out'. The second youngest was not having it at all so he jumped in, desperately trying to pull him out of the fray. Neil decided to jump in just to try to get the picture before the other two did, still looking no so pleased that his brother owned something like that. All five of them tussled, all five of them cursed loudly, and all Setsina did was watch. He might've wanted to change, but he didn't want to jump into any fight where he did not belong in…even if the picture was of him.
Once they finally calmed down, Neil placed his head in the Setsuna's lap, saying he that he 'wanted to take a nap with him' since he was so tired. Looking at him for a few second, all he did was get up and continue cleaning the room, practically ignoring everything his…husband was saying. But of course…he couldn't even continue what he was doing in peace without Neil practically clinging to him like some kind of lovesick puppy. At lest Setsuna had found out that the 'youngest' Haptism twin was the peacekeeper, while the 'older' one was the troublemaker. It made since in his opinion, but if looked at close enough one could see that they were exact opposites of the Dylandy boys. Neil was extremely outgoing while Lyle was introverted (unless provoked), on the other hand Allelujah rather pleasant to be around while Hallelujah was…well…Hallelujah (he knew that wasn't a very good description).
And that's how the week was whenever the three of them came over…just plain hectic. But today was different; it was Saturday which was a day of relaxation, and seeing that everyone had worked so hard (some more then others) a break day was well deserved. That would've been more then just fine…if their show wasn't replaced with some sort of cutesy mess of an anime. The youngest was basically sitting in the same position he was the first time he'd view the show, back firmly pressed against Neil's chest with the boy's chin gently place against the top of his head, arms wrapped tightly around him. He'd gotten use to said position by now; the urge to push him away had gone down quite a bit, the only thing he really did was squirm every now and then. He didn't really like the whole idea of being touched, but since his attention completely focused on the screen he found he forgot about it eighty percent of the time. The other twenty percent was whenever the commercial would hit, and he'd be snapped back to reality for a few minutes…but that was it.
To the right of them was the other Dylandy, who was indeed just as horrified as the rest of them. But…there was something off about him today…He knew the boy just seemed generally irritated when ever his brother was around, but today he it was more like…he was plotting something. The only thing he hoped was that the other Dylandy did not attempt anything bold, in fear of the reaction that might emerge. To the left of them was the 'oldest' Haptism who looked he about five seconds from cursing out the screen, which would've been greatly welcomed. Next to him was his brother, who was consulting with Tieria (who was on the very end) about just why the show had cut off.
Upon thinking about it, the two seemed to spend a lot of time together whether they admitted it or not. Hallelujah said that his brother always went over to Tieria's place at the same time, and it was rather easy to tell which day he would be going. If the second youngest declined to come over to Neil's place, it only meant that in a few hours his brother would make his ways over there for some reason. Of course Tieria denied that the boy came over for a special purpose, but it wasn't like the youngest was in any position to question a thing they did.
"Lockon, make it come back…" Setsuna said, tugging on the boy's sleeve.
"If I could I really would…a-and don't call me that in house, Setsuna-chan." He said, holding him a little tighter. After hearing the absolutely ridiculous story about how his…husband obtained such a name by Lyle yesterday, he found it rather appropriate to also call him said name. How funny it was…it was nice to know that his idiocy was not due to the younger coming to the village, though it was rather uncreative of him to do something so similar to that incident. After all, the boy had shouted at the top of his lungs that he 'loved him' during the wee hours of the morning…wasn't that close?
It almost horrified him to think that there could very well be another incident like that in the near future, and he really did like to at lest get that last little hour in before waking up (which was taken away from him for a week). What if it was worse? What if it turned into some odd Shakespeare-esque situation? What if his…husband had found himself some kind of ladder and began to lean against his conveniently open window, speaking sweet-nothings to him as the he- why the hell was he even thinking about that?
But he didn't liked to be called such a name in his house, saying that 'he was Neil inside the house, but Lockon outside'…even more reason to do it, right? So after Lyle had told him his brother's shameful story, he began to call Neil 'Lockon' whenever he got the chance. But no matter how much he changed up the sound, no matter how much he called him by his full title…there was a small problem…
"Lockon…"
"S-So cute…okay! From now on only Setsuna-chan can call me Lockon in the house!"
The idiot found everything he did…cute. Really now, the boy already praised him so he didn't need to find him adorable as well. He meant to ask just how he had saved the older boy, having no clue just how he could affect someone without physically being there. To save someone said person needed to be in some kind of distress, and that perked Setsuna's interest ever so slightly. Just what kind of misery had he been through to make him fall into that deep of a hole? Better yet, why had Setsuna and only Setsuna been able to save? He was just a kid everyone picked on, there was no way he had the power to impact someone like that. Misery was not something that was gotten rid of easily (he had a hard time just recognizing his most of his life), so just what had he actually done to make his…husband feel better?
The younger boy always seemed to be thinking more then he should, so he just decided he would ask later. Saying something like that meant there was a long talk in his future, and he wasn't quite sure if he would be ready for said talk. He didn't even to know what to make of the person know as Lockon Stratos (Neil Dylandy), but what if he actually did see the boy's true personality? Better yet…what if didn't know it when he saw it, mistaking it as nothing more then him acting like a complete fool? He was doing it again…thinking far too much…Sighing a little, he told the older boy that since the show was no longer on (and this was completely out of his character) that he wanted to do something. When asked just what he wanted to do…he couldn't answer. He muttered something incoherently, obviously frustrated with himself for not going outside more.
"Well, why don't we just go into town?" Tieria finally said, breaking the silence.
"Yeah, let's listen to Allelujah's girlfriend and go-"
"Shut up, Lecher!" The second youngest shouted, completely cutting Hallelujah off. It was rather obvious that he was still quite pissed off about the other day, and the youngest really couldn't blame him.
Thursday was not a very good for the second youngest, and it was once again one of those times where Setsuna could only sit and watch as the madness unraveled around fairly quickly. After coming over fairly late with Allelujah, it was written all over his face that he did not want to be bothered with…which the youngest did not have a problem with. Since that days cleaning duty was in the living room he allowed Tieria to take a nap on the couch (Lockon didn't seem to mind), which at the time was probably the start of the problem. Setsuna had learned that it did not take much for the'eldest' Haptism to lose his interest at the task at hand, so when he saw the older boy throw the rag he had to the ground…he really should've paid more attention to him.
After disappearing from his view, he didn't actually see what happened, but when he heard Tieria give off a loud yelp followed by a loud 'thud' he knew that the boy was on the ground. Looking over the back of the couch he could see that the second youngest had been pinned down,Hallelujah's mouth against his neck. Now the sight did confuse him, knowing that kissing someone required lip to lip contact…but mouth to neck? That seemed more like a bite…They didn't stay in that position for long, since the 'younger' Haptism preformed a 'Dylandy Special' (which is what he dub it) as he practically leaped across the room and pried his brother off of the poor boy. Still slightly fascinated with the 'older' Haptism's action, he watched as Tieria tried to attack the older boy though he had no room to since Allelujah was holding him back.
"Hay, I thought Lockon was the lecher!" Hallelujah countered, yelling equally as loud.
"U-Um, guys? I'm sitting right in-between you two, so…" Allelujah said, trying his best to get some kind of word in. But alas he couldn't and was completely ignored…so he was stuck in-between two very loud boys who seemed to be out for blood. Setsuna just watch just like he always did. He did, however, cover his ears a little because he still hated that sound. Call him a hypocrite, but he just could stand the sound of people arguing or yelling. After a while he buried his face in his…husband's chest and waited for them to stop, having become so completely fed up their actions. Of course he knew Lockon would notice this action (like he did everything else the boy did), so he wasn't surprised in the slightest when he was held tighter and asked what was the matter.
"Setsuna…"
Everyone grew quit and directed their attention towards Lyle. That had actually been the first word he'd said all day, and everyone was rather interested in what he had to say. Granted the older boy didn't really talk all that much whenever he was around, but today he seemed different. He was quite, avoiding all eye contact with everyone and would only glace over at him ever so often. Maybe he was sick or something…cleaning might've caused his allergies or something to act up. If so he'd take full responsibility for such things, since he did drag both Dylandy boy's into the whole 'cleaning' thing. But all of that was thrown out the window when he was pulled out of his…husband's grasp, being held rather firmly in the arms of the of another person. Setsuna really couldn't really say a thing, seeing that his lips were forced against Lyle's left no room for protest. But of course…a certain someone was not pleased.
"What the hell are you doing, Lyle!" Lockon screeched, mind racing with so many things he to wanted to say, but knew he couldn't very well say them in front of his 'wife'.
"Oh my god, this is rich!" Hallelujah laughed, currently lying against the ground trying to control himself.
"I take it back…all three of you are lechers…" The second youngest said, averting his eyes from the scandalous scene. Allelujah just covered his mouth, too shocked to really say anything. Setsuna just sat there, completely frozen with too many emotions at once. This was not the first time the boy had kissed him, but…it was the first time he'd done so on the lips. It felt…different from whenever Lockon would kiss him. There was some kind of emotion behind it (what it was he didn't know) but…there was a stronger one behind his…husbands then his. Once the other boy had removed his lips away from his, he just stared at him (not into those green eyes though). That was a bold move…and what made it even bolder what the fact that he had done it front of his brother. Was this…what he was plotting? If so he was probably going to be in for it…
"I just needed to get that off of my chest," Lyle said, patting the youngest on the head and blushing heavily, "Now let's go into town."
"Are you insane? That's my wife! I have the right mind to-"
"Okay…" Setsuna said, ignoring whatever Lockon had wanted to say.
"S-Setsuna-chan, you can't let people kiss you whenever they want." His…husband said, pulling him back and holding him tightly. The youngest just sat there and thought for a few minutes; the boy had said that he couldn't let people kiss him…so did that mean it was only alright to kiss his…husband? Was it just a show of affections? But since it really didn't feel anything for either, didn't that make it alright for Lyle to kiss him? Even if he did not feel a thing as he was kissed, he knew that both of them put some sort of emotion into it, and if that did that wasn't it okay? It wasn't like some random person was walking up to him and letting him have one…he knew these two, but at the same time didn't know them…so that didn't make them strangers, right? He…really didn't know anymore…
"…I don't understand." Setsuna said, looking up at Lockon.
"Huh? What do you mean?" Lockon asked, slightly confused at what his 'wife' was saying.
"Why can you kiss me but Lyle can't…? He likes me too, so why…?" He asked, looked over at the other Dylandy boy.
"Well…because he doesn't love you like I do." Lockon said simply, burying his face in his wife's soft hair.
"You don't know that!" Lyle yelled, reaching over and grabbing his brother by the collar of his shirt, "Hell, for all you know I could love him even more then you do-"
"You don't love him the way I do…" He said, looking his brother directly in the eye. That look…the one he was giving Lyle…it horrified him. Of course he knew when it came to protecting things one found 'precious' people could get a little…threatening?
But the boy holding him had gone beyond that level…the look he was giving his brother did not read 'don't touch him', oh no…it was much darker then that. The malice that leaked off of that look made the younger stiffen slightly, never thinking that such an expression could exist on someone like Lockon. Other then that other night, the boy had only shown Setsuna that he was only capable of one thing…idiocy. But now he saw that there was something locked away inside of him that was completely different then his outward appearance…maybe it was the thing the younger had 'saved' him from…If that was the case then it wasn't completely gone, and if this was just a small taste of it…he had no intention of bringing out it's full potential.
As he watched Lyle completely back off, Setsuna knew that he felt the same way he did. The boy didn't stop backing up until he hit the wall behind him, sliding down to the floor…expression never changing. He looked…scared. The other Dylandy probably knew he crossed a few lined, but to the youngest he looked as if he'd crossed a threshold that no one was allowed into without permission…
"N-Nii-san…"
"So, shall we go, Setsuna-chan?" Lockon said, smiling down at him.
And as fast as the look was there, it was gone…just what exactly was Lockon Stratos?
He'd really messed up…he'd let a little of himself leak out ever so slightly, causing just about everyone to shy somewhat away from him. He knew everyone had seen the look he'd given his brother, and after everything was said and done even he was startled by it. Neil thought that person was gone, that he had locked that part of him away in some far off corner of his mind…but as it seemed he needed a little more work. The oldest didn't know Lyle could get to him like that, hitting such a cord that made him snap so horribly. But his brother was wrong…he did not love Setsuna the same way he did. He couldn't and he never would…it was impossible.
The older boy knew it was unfair to not say his brother had feelings for his 'wife', but to say that they were stronger then his was not even close to the truth. To love someone like the youngest the way he did required his brother to go through the exact same experience he had, which he could say without a doubt he hadn't. Lyle had not gone through the same hell as he did, so there was no way for him to truly understand what he was feeling.
He chose not to remember the days before Setsuna F Seiei, seeing them as things that no longer mattered. But ever now and then a few of them would come back, reminding him of the kind of person he tried to no longer be. Neil hated that person…he hated the fact that no matter how much he tried to separate himself from him is was still…him. During those two years of his life where it was the worse he just couldn't take it; saying it was hard for him to do anything was an understatement, and the only time he really had any energy was during school. Even if it was fake it was still energy, and he tried his best to work off as much liveliness as possible. He didn't want to take that home…he wasn't going to taint the only safe-haven he knew. He wasn't going to bring that falseness into such a place. Even if he did occasionally lie to his parents about what was going on in his life, he left that persona at the door. It wasn't like he initially wanted to deceive them, Neil just…didn't know.
He didn't know a thing about his life at the time, other then the horrible sinking feeling he woke up with ever morning…he just wasn't sure of anything. With lack of understanding came lack of control, and he in no way could control the thoughts that flooded his mind daily. They were all question that just pulled him down even further, making him think that his life was just…boring. And it was…so why was it worth live? As those thoughts began to swarm his attitude began to show it, with him become increasingly hostile to the people around him…especially his family. He knew his brother was worried about him, but the boy did nothing to help him. Maybe that was the reason he took most of his aggression out on him, always causing some sort of bodily harm because he wanted his twin to do something…anything.
But enough was enough; he'd spent enough time trying to get Lyle to help him, and he just so tired of it. Useless…that was the only thing he could feel at that time, and it was clear that he didn't server any sort of purpose in life. Growing up might've helped, but that process took too long for his liking. So why not just take it? If he held no purpose and was not wanted, why stay? Running away was just a stupid idea, having no place to go or no desired place to be. That would only prolong his despair, and he in no way wanted it to last any longer. So…he decided to do something…He remembered that day very well for two reasons…what he did and what he did not do. After coming for from…well he couldn't really call it playing since Tieria was yelling at them about something unimportant, he and his brother were in great need of sleep. After said nap homework needed to be done…but Neil had no intentions of doing anything of the sort once he'd awakened.
He'd hidden a knife under his futon, one he had obtained the other night while his family slept. He didn't know what he'd cut once he'd woken up, but he'd learned in class that his wrist and neck had the worst veins to sever. He'd try those…but first he needed to figure out if his mother was alive or not. After hearing absolute silence upon entering the house, he and his brother race up to their parent's room. It would've looked rather horrible if both the mother and one son of the household had died, so he was ridding on her still breathing so he could get what he needed done. It sounded awful to think something like that, but he did care about her even if his words were harsh. When the two of them come crashing to the ground, it was a relief to see that she was fine, merely on the phone speaking to someone. He and his brother waited for to finish, since he might've been moody but he was not rude.
During that time all he did was think…he thought about what he'd be leaving behind, which wasn't much in his opinion. He thought about the reaction of his family, who would obviously blame themselves for what he'd done. It wasn't their fault…he was the only one responsible for his actions, and he was the only one to blame for the feeling that had completely overcome him. But then again, was that particular thing really his fault? It had come over him the moment he'd turned twelve without warning, and he had really done nothing to deserver such a fate. But he couldn't change that kind of thing.
Neil was snapped out of his thoughts when something was placed in front of him, making him reach up and take it from his mother. It was a picture of someone he'd never seen before, but when his mother began to explain just who that person was and why they were important…he was more then just a little interested. This person…the one in the picture was his…wife. He was shocked at first, having just found out that he was already married to someone. But that feeling was quickly overcome with something else, something he didn't think he was capable of feeling in his current state. Overwhelming happiness. Not only had he been given a purpose for the first time in his life, but he was now had to take care of another life. Neil almost felt like tearing up because he was finally needed by someone, even if it was someone he didn't know. He was…needed.
To be a husband was…a great honor indeed, and with that honor came responsibility. It wasn't like taking care of a pet, oh no, it was much more then that. He had to love this person unconditionally, taking care of them and their needs. He was to make sure that person was happy, and he was never allowed to hurt them. It might've seemed like quite a bit a doing, but he would try his hardest to do everything he could for that person.
"S-Setsuna-chan, please sit down, I don't want you get hurt." He said, gently pulling on the on the younger boy's sleeve. All six of them were currently on a bus heading to town, having gotten permission to do so from his mother. But because of the incident that had taken place in his room, no one (evenHallelujah surprisingly) was in a talkative mood, and that meant the ride was going to be a very awaked one. Both Haptisms sat in the front of the bus with Tieria, Allelujah next to the second youngest while his brother sat across from him. Lyle sat in the back, his cheek pressed against the glass window and eyes gazing out of it which looked completely emotionless. Neil sat next to his wife in the middle of the bus, who was sitting on his knees looking out the window. It didn't help that the bus was pretty much empty (aside from them of course), which only fueled the awkwardness. It did hurt knowing that the people he knew as his friends were ignoring him, but it was really hurt knowing that the person he loved was doing the same.
He really did love him…it wasn't some kind of act he put on in front of others. He knew he was little touchy-feely whenever he was around, but he really didn't mean any harm by it. He wanted to keep him close because he was afraid of losing him, and just having him there made him happy. Before the youngest came to town he thought about him often, wondering what kind of person his new wife was going to be. Waiting drove him crazy, and it only became worse the day he was supposed to visit for the very first time. It was already the afternoon, and the only thing he could do was toss and turn on his futon. He knew he probably should've been doing something productive to pass the time, but meeting his wife was the only thing that mattered.
When he finally heard his mother come into his room, telling him that there was someone he needed to meet…he froze for a few seconds. This was it…this was the moment he'd been waiting for. Jumping up and followed her downstairs, feeling so nervous he thought he was going to be sick to his stomach. He was finally going to meet the person that had saved him from himself, the one he had completely fallen in love without them having ever spoken to him. Neil's butterflies only became worse as he walked through the front door, standing in front of a very pretty woman. He could easily see the person trying to hide behind her, and he felt his hear skip a beat. It was him…He was small which only made him even more cute, so his actions from that point on couldn't entirely be blamed on him.
"Setsuna…" Neil started, getting on his knees next to the younger boy, "I'm sorry…"
"W-what…?" Setsuna said, finally looking over that the boy.
"I'm sorry…for scaring you." He said, leaning against him and gently placing his head against his wife's shoulder. He saw Setsuna give him a confused look, but then quickly direct his gaze back to the window.
"You didn't scare-"
"Please don't lie to me, not about this…" Neil said in a small voice, pulling the boy forward into a tight hug, "I never meant to hurt you like that, and I'm really sorry."
He felt the younger boy stiffen slightly, and he could only hold him tighter as he did so. Neil didn't want his wife to fear him, thinking that he was the old him rather then the new. Even though that person was still inside him, he wasn't in control any longer. But he would try his hardest to completely rid himself of that person, just so he wouldn't hurt the person he loved.
He knew Setsuna had emotions even if the boy acted as if he didn't, having witnessed them the first time he'd walked away from him and the morning he completely broke down in front of him. On both occasions he absolutely felt awful about putting the boy in such a state, but he had told him that he was going to save him. Looking at him that night it was clear that his wife was in a hole; perhaps it was similar to the one he was two years ago, but his seemed to be a little darker then his. However, that did not mean the hole was bigger. There was still hope if he could reach in and pull him out, but it really didn't matter if Setsuna didn't want to be seen. Saving someone required two people, the person doing the saving and the person who was willing to be saved. Neil was more then willing to put himself out there for his wife, but if the youngest was alright with his current position there was nothing he could do. If that happened he could only watch as the person he loved slowly descend to a place he couldn't reach, completely cut off form the world.
He felt the youngest push him away, but it wasn't like the other times. He gripped his sleeve and got up from his spot in the bus, pulling Neil along with him. He didn't need to question where they going since the bus wasn't all that large, but when he did figure it out he felt like hanging his head in shame. Lyle…But his wife was right; even if he hadn't said a word, he knew what Setsuna wanted him to do. His brother didn't deserve to be snapped at, even if his comment had hit him deeper (it was even worse then the 'horrible husband' one). But the real problem was that he did not know what to say, and since the mood in the vehicle was already heavy he really did not want to make the situation even any worse.
As they finally reached the back of the bus, his brother had not even moved an inch. He was the one who was probably freaked out the most, having dealt with his past self personally. To be reminded of that time probably sent the boy into shock, which was understandable seeing that he was not the most pleasant of people to him. Neil had never actually apologized to him for the way he acted, and he knew that if he didn't soon he would miss his chance.
"Lyle…" He said, hoping his twin would make this somewhat easy. But of course, the other boy had no intention of accepting anything his brother said since he had not even acknowledged his presence. Touching him was out of the question, almost certainly making things worse…but he knew that was probably the only thing his brother would respond to. It might have been seen as just another idiotic move on his part, but he knew his brother well enough to know what would and would not work on him. So, he reached over and wrapped his arms around the boy's neck, pulling him into a tight hug.
"W-What the hell!" His brother screeched, completely taken by surprise.
"LLLLyle! Big brother wishes to apologize!" He said, holding him tighter.
"Get off of me! Can't you do anything without acting like an idiot?" Lyle said, desperately trying to pull away from his crazed brother.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! For everything!" Neil said, hugging him even tighter. Even if he was in the middle of a rather ridiculous situation, there actually was sincerity in his voice. He really did mean what he said, and the 'everything' part just made his brother look up at him. There was a short period of silence, and seeing that Neil knew that at a time like this thoughts needed to be processed he allowed it.
"…Fine, fine, I accept your apology! Now let me go!" Lyle said, not really as demanding as before. He was more then willing to comply with his brother's wishes, letting him go and smiling a little. Out of the corner of his eye he could see his wife looking at him with an expression he couldn't read, probably do to the fact that he noticed the 'everything' at the end of his sentence. He knew Setsuna was by no means a normal ten year old, noticing things that someone his age probably wouldn't have bothered with. He liked and disliked that quality about his wife; he knew that he was still just a kid no matter what he said, but he also knew that acting older then one really was could unintentionally cause problems down the line. But he would be there to make sure nothing horrible happened to him…It was his duty as the husband to protect his wife.
"I'll do whatever I can!"
"…Stop talking to yourself, Lockon…"
"Yes, Setsuna-chan."
