That's As Close As I'll Get To Loving You
By: Rei Firestar
~*Chapter Four*~
When Rei finally got off the phone with Yuuichirou she came back into her room to apologize for the interruption only to find Usagi already asleep on the bed. She smiled down at her lovingly.
"Heh, you really were tired, weren't you, Usa?"
Sitting down on the edge of the bed she very carefully undid the sleeping blonde's buns, combing them out with her fingers. Usagi's hair, she discovered, was very fine and soft. It was almost like handling silk. She loved the feeling it left as it fell between her fingers. She sighed heavily, letting her fingertips brush over her friend's forehead.
"What are you doing to me?" she whispered.
Getting up, Rei changed into her temple garb quietly as not to awaken her friend. She emptied the pockets of her jeans onto her vanity where she noticed the velvet box which held Usagi's necklace was still out in open view. The miko 'eep!'ed in her mind and grabbed it. Quickly she shoved it into her pocket, muttering to herself that it would be the last time she let the thing leave her side. She eased out of her room and shut the door behind her. She had work to do around the shrine anyway, so she didn't mind if Usagi slept for a while.
~*~*~*~*~*~
A few hours later with dusk approaching Rei had finally completed her chores. What little snow remained now had been pushed off of the walkway at the front of the temple as well as the steps. She had washed the floors and dusted in every room in the house save her own. After cleaning the floors she had tried to meditate but found her thoughts occupied elsewhere so the attempt ended in vain. She was too worried about Usagi.
At the thought of what Mamoru had done she growled to herself. How could he have cheated on her? As if he could have found someone better than Usagi. Somewhere in the back of her mind pratical reasoning said that no one could help who they fell in love with. She promptly told it to shove itself into a garbage disposal. You couldn't find anyone better than Usagi. It was simply impossible.
Sighing to herself, Rei headed back to her room. Once inside the door she saw Usagi fidgiting in her sleep. She watched her for a moment, not sure if she should wake her or not. This dilemma was quickly solved, however, when the blonde called out to her in her sleep. Rei hurried to her side and began to lovingly brush the hair out of the girl's fretful face. "I'm here," she whispered in her ear, "I'm here."
Usagi's eyes slowly opened. The look on her face was one of puzzlement yet relief. "Rei?"
The miko smiled and nodded. "Mm-hmm."
Usagi sat up a little in the bed, groaning a little. Rei took her hand. "Are you all right?"
The blonde nodded. "Yeah, I think I'm okay."
Rei brushed the back of her hand against her friend's forehead and cheeks. "Hmm, you feel a little feverish, Usa. Maybe you ought to lie down again."
Usagi shooked her head. "It's not that. It was my dream. I was just facing some bad memories."
Rei bit her lower lip lightly. "Mamoru?"
Usagi blinked at her then smiled a little and shook her head. "No, nothing like that."
Silently Rei cursed herself for bringing it up but instead asked, "Then what of?"
"They're senshi memories. Mainly of battles, you know. Some big, some small. Everything from Beryl to Galaxia to just the scuffle in the park a few weeks ago. How scared I was, how helpless."
"Usagi..." Rei sat next to her on the bed, wrapping her arms around her shoulders. "You saved our lives. Not just our lives, the lives of everyone on this planet, the lives of those who may not yet be born but are important all the same. It's all right that you were scared, all of us were, but you were not helpless."
"It wasn't just that, it was..."
"It's all right, Usa," Rei coaxed. "You don't have to say anything if you don't want."
"It was the way I felt," she said, "when you died. When everyone died. Or even when you're hurt. I feel guilty, like I could've stopped it."
"Oh, sweetheart, don't feel that way. We all know the dangers that come with being a senshi. No one blames you."
"It doesn't matter because I still blame me," Usagi sniffled, coming close to tears. "Rei, you have literally died for me. Twice even! And you almost stay injured. All for me...so it is my fault."
Rei paused, not really sure what to say. Then she smiled. "I know you worry, Usa, but you shouldn't. I know what dangers may come. I don't worry about it, and you shouldn't either. I love you, Usagi, and I'll always protect you. I'll always be with you for as long as you want me. Nothing could take me away, not even death." She chuckled. "Besides, I don't think you'd let it. You never have before."
Usagi smiled a little. "You're right. I'd never let you leave."
Rei smirked. "Yeah you're just too damn annoying to ever let me go."
"Hey!"
The two girls laughed and Rei kissed the blonde's forehead. "Do you want anything to eat? It's time for supper anyway."
Usagi shook her head. "No, not right now."
The miko's jaw dropped. "Usagi? Not hungry!? Call the press!"
"Rei you're so mean!"
She laughed and let her arms drop down to Usagi's waist, tickling her sides. "What was that?"
Usagi wiggled around, laughing and screaming at the top of her lungs. "R-Rei! Q-quit iiiiit!"
"Why should I?"
"Pleeeeease?" Usagi choked out between her tearful laughter.
"Oh, all right."
Rei let go of Usagi's sides, leaving the blonde to catch her breath. When the miko smiled at her, she playfully glared and stuck her tongue out at her. The raven-haired girl chuckled and reached out to wipe a few of her friend's tears away. "Christmas eve tomorrow night," she said softly.
Usagi nodded. "I know."
With a little hesitance, Rei asked, "Would you like to stay here and celebrate with me?"
Usagi smiled and pulled Rei into a tight hug. "Of course I would, Rei. Nothing would make me happier."
Rei smiled too and returned the embrace. Then Usagi yawned and she chuckled.
"Why don't you go back to sleep, hon? You still feel a little warm."
"Aww I hope I don't get sick. I'd hate to be sick on Christmas."
"You probably just caught a 24-hour bug from being outside in the cold. Don't worry about it, Usagi. I'm sure you'll feel better in the morning."
Usagi nodded then looked away. Just before she could ask, Usagi said, "Rei?"
"Hmm?"
"Do you have a Christmas wish?"
"Huh?"
"You know, a Christmas wish. They say if you make a wish on Christmas it'll come true."
Rei shrugged a little. "I don't know about that. I used to be very much into the holiday spirit when I was younger, but not so much now as I used to be."
Usagi's eyebrows knitted. "Why is that?"
Rei sighed. "Because I never got what I wanted. I used to wish on Christmas, but I don't anymore."
"Why not?"
"When I was really little, my mother used to always bake cookies on Christmas and we'd put icing on them together. I remember my father would come in on Christmas eve sometimes wearing a big red Santa suit and carrying a big burlap sack over his shoulder. It was so wonderful. Then when mom got sick, I wished that she would get better. She died. Then when papa had to start going away all the time for work I wished he'd stay home with me, or take me with him, something. But he just grew cold, caring more about his job than me. That's when he dumped me off on my grandfather. Those first few holidays I spent here I always wished for pa-...my father, to come stay with us. He never did. After that I just stopped caring."
"Oh Rei..."
She blinked. "Hmm?" Then she noticed Usagi's eyes were tearing up and she shook her head. "No no, Usagi, it's okay. Don't be sad. I'm used to it. It doesn't bother me anymore."
"That's still horrible, Rei. Everyone should have a little faith in Christmas."
"Do you have a Christmas wish this year?"
Usagi paused, then nodded. "Yeah, I think I do."
Rei smiled a little. "All right. Then I have one too."
"Yay!" Usagi threw her arms around Rei in another hug. "Just have faith, you'll see! Your wish will come true!"
Rei chuckled to herself. She started to say 'I doubt it' but rather than crush Usagi's enthusiam, she simply smiled and said, "Maybe so."
Usagi smiled then yawned again. Rei shook her head. "Look at this," she said. "Didn't I tell you to go to bed? And you got us completely off subject."
She stood up and tucked Usagi into bed then turned to leave. Before she got to the door, however, Usagi sat up in bed and smiled sweetly.
"Rei? Will you sing to me?"
She stopped and turned around, chuckling. "Why?"
"Because I love the sound of your voice," the blonde said with a small blush. "Please, Rei?"
"Oh, all right. What do you want me to sing?"
"The song you sang when Yuuichirou called. Sing that one."
Rei's eyes widened a little then she looked away. "I don't want to sing that one, Usa."
Usagi got to her feet and stood next to the bed. "Why not?"
"I just don't."
She advanced on her slowly, speaking softly. "You wrote that song, didn't you?"
She nodded, still looking away. She didn't want to answer, but she couldn't lie to the girl. "Yeah, I did."
"Rei," Usagi whispered, "who is that song about?"
"It..." Rei trailed off and swallowed, then continued in a whisper, "i-it's about...you..."
There was an uneasy silence. Usagi was standing right in front of her now and she still didn't know if she could look at her. She didn't know what to say. Usagi probably hated her now.
"Rei..."
Taking a small breath she turned to face her friend. She was surprised to see tears in her eyes. So certain she had upset her Rei was about to launch into a large apology, but before she could, Usagi finished what she had started to say.
"...I...I think I'm in love with you..."
Rei's eyes went wide. She was shocked and overjoyed at the same time.
"Usagi," she said, "I-I love you too. For so long I have..."
"Rei..."
The two girls began to slowly let the space between them dissolve. However just before their lips met, the familiar shrill of the phone ringing broke through the air from behind the miko. Without hesitating she reached behind her and ripped it out of the wall, hurling it across the room to shatter against the far wall before drawing Usagi into her arms and passionately kissing her.
~*End Chapter Four*~
Yay! One chapter left! Rest in peace, Rei's phone.
By: Rei Firestar
~*Chapter Four*~
When Rei finally got off the phone with Yuuichirou she came back into her room to apologize for the interruption only to find Usagi already asleep on the bed. She smiled down at her lovingly.
"Heh, you really were tired, weren't you, Usa?"
Sitting down on the edge of the bed she very carefully undid the sleeping blonde's buns, combing them out with her fingers. Usagi's hair, she discovered, was very fine and soft. It was almost like handling silk. She loved the feeling it left as it fell between her fingers. She sighed heavily, letting her fingertips brush over her friend's forehead.
"What are you doing to me?" she whispered.
Getting up, Rei changed into her temple garb quietly as not to awaken her friend. She emptied the pockets of her jeans onto her vanity where she noticed the velvet box which held Usagi's necklace was still out in open view. The miko 'eep!'ed in her mind and grabbed it. Quickly she shoved it into her pocket, muttering to herself that it would be the last time she let the thing leave her side. She eased out of her room and shut the door behind her. She had work to do around the shrine anyway, so she didn't mind if Usagi slept for a while.
~*~*~*~*~*~
A few hours later with dusk approaching Rei had finally completed her chores. What little snow remained now had been pushed off of the walkway at the front of the temple as well as the steps. She had washed the floors and dusted in every room in the house save her own. After cleaning the floors she had tried to meditate but found her thoughts occupied elsewhere so the attempt ended in vain. She was too worried about Usagi.
At the thought of what Mamoru had done she growled to herself. How could he have cheated on her? As if he could have found someone better than Usagi. Somewhere in the back of her mind pratical reasoning said that no one could help who they fell in love with. She promptly told it to shove itself into a garbage disposal. You couldn't find anyone better than Usagi. It was simply impossible.
Sighing to herself, Rei headed back to her room. Once inside the door she saw Usagi fidgiting in her sleep. She watched her for a moment, not sure if she should wake her or not. This dilemma was quickly solved, however, when the blonde called out to her in her sleep. Rei hurried to her side and began to lovingly brush the hair out of the girl's fretful face. "I'm here," she whispered in her ear, "I'm here."
Usagi's eyes slowly opened. The look on her face was one of puzzlement yet relief. "Rei?"
The miko smiled and nodded. "Mm-hmm."
Usagi sat up a little in the bed, groaning a little. Rei took her hand. "Are you all right?"
The blonde nodded. "Yeah, I think I'm okay."
Rei brushed the back of her hand against her friend's forehead and cheeks. "Hmm, you feel a little feverish, Usa. Maybe you ought to lie down again."
Usagi shooked her head. "It's not that. It was my dream. I was just facing some bad memories."
Rei bit her lower lip lightly. "Mamoru?"
Usagi blinked at her then smiled a little and shook her head. "No, nothing like that."
Silently Rei cursed herself for bringing it up but instead asked, "Then what of?"
"They're senshi memories. Mainly of battles, you know. Some big, some small. Everything from Beryl to Galaxia to just the scuffle in the park a few weeks ago. How scared I was, how helpless."
"Usagi..." Rei sat next to her on the bed, wrapping her arms around her shoulders. "You saved our lives. Not just our lives, the lives of everyone on this planet, the lives of those who may not yet be born but are important all the same. It's all right that you were scared, all of us were, but you were not helpless."
"It wasn't just that, it was..."
"It's all right, Usa," Rei coaxed. "You don't have to say anything if you don't want."
"It was the way I felt," she said, "when you died. When everyone died. Or even when you're hurt. I feel guilty, like I could've stopped it."
"Oh, sweetheart, don't feel that way. We all know the dangers that come with being a senshi. No one blames you."
"It doesn't matter because I still blame me," Usagi sniffled, coming close to tears. "Rei, you have literally died for me. Twice even! And you almost stay injured. All for me...so it is my fault."
Rei paused, not really sure what to say. Then she smiled. "I know you worry, Usa, but you shouldn't. I know what dangers may come. I don't worry about it, and you shouldn't either. I love you, Usagi, and I'll always protect you. I'll always be with you for as long as you want me. Nothing could take me away, not even death." She chuckled. "Besides, I don't think you'd let it. You never have before."
Usagi smiled a little. "You're right. I'd never let you leave."
Rei smirked. "Yeah you're just too damn annoying to ever let me go."
"Hey!"
The two girls laughed and Rei kissed the blonde's forehead. "Do you want anything to eat? It's time for supper anyway."
Usagi shook her head. "No, not right now."
The miko's jaw dropped. "Usagi? Not hungry!? Call the press!"
"Rei you're so mean!"
She laughed and let her arms drop down to Usagi's waist, tickling her sides. "What was that?"
Usagi wiggled around, laughing and screaming at the top of her lungs. "R-Rei! Q-quit iiiiit!"
"Why should I?"
"Pleeeeease?" Usagi choked out between her tearful laughter.
"Oh, all right."
Rei let go of Usagi's sides, leaving the blonde to catch her breath. When the miko smiled at her, she playfully glared and stuck her tongue out at her. The raven-haired girl chuckled and reached out to wipe a few of her friend's tears away. "Christmas eve tomorrow night," she said softly.
Usagi nodded. "I know."
With a little hesitance, Rei asked, "Would you like to stay here and celebrate with me?"
Usagi smiled and pulled Rei into a tight hug. "Of course I would, Rei. Nothing would make me happier."
Rei smiled too and returned the embrace. Then Usagi yawned and she chuckled.
"Why don't you go back to sleep, hon? You still feel a little warm."
"Aww I hope I don't get sick. I'd hate to be sick on Christmas."
"You probably just caught a 24-hour bug from being outside in the cold. Don't worry about it, Usagi. I'm sure you'll feel better in the morning."
Usagi nodded then looked away. Just before she could ask, Usagi said, "Rei?"
"Hmm?"
"Do you have a Christmas wish?"
"Huh?"
"You know, a Christmas wish. They say if you make a wish on Christmas it'll come true."
Rei shrugged a little. "I don't know about that. I used to be very much into the holiday spirit when I was younger, but not so much now as I used to be."
Usagi's eyebrows knitted. "Why is that?"
Rei sighed. "Because I never got what I wanted. I used to wish on Christmas, but I don't anymore."
"Why not?"
"When I was really little, my mother used to always bake cookies on Christmas and we'd put icing on them together. I remember my father would come in on Christmas eve sometimes wearing a big red Santa suit and carrying a big burlap sack over his shoulder. It was so wonderful. Then when mom got sick, I wished that she would get better. She died. Then when papa had to start going away all the time for work I wished he'd stay home with me, or take me with him, something. But he just grew cold, caring more about his job than me. That's when he dumped me off on my grandfather. Those first few holidays I spent here I always wished for pa-...my father, to come stay with us. He never did. After that I just stopped caring."
"Oh Rei..."
She blinked. "Hmm?" Then she noticed Usagi's eyes were tearing up and she shook her head. "No no, Usagi, it's okay. Don't be sad. I'm used to it. It doesn't bother me anymore."
"That's still horrible, Rei. Everyone should have a little faith in Christmas."
"Do you have a Christmas wish this year?"
Usagi paused, then nodded. "Yeah, I think I do."
Rei smiled a little. "All right. Then I have one too."
"Yay!" Usagi threw her arms around Rei in another hug. "Just have faith, you'll see! Your wish will come true!"
Rei chuckled to herself. She started to say 'I doubt it' but rather than crush Usagi's enthusiam, she simply smiled and said, "Maybe so."
Usagi smiled then yawned again. Rei shook her head. "Look at this," she said. "Didn't I tell you to go to bed? And you got us completely off subject."
She stood up and tucked Usagi into bed then turned to leave. Before she got to the door, however, Usagi sat up in bed and smiled sweetly.
"Rei? Will you sing to me?"
She stopped and turned around, chuckling. "Why?"
"Because I love the sound of your voice," the blonde said with a small blush. "Please, Rei?"
"Oh, all right. What do you want me to sing?"
"The song you sang when Yuuichirou called. Sing that one."
Rei's eyes widened a little then she looked away. "I don't want to sing that one, Usa."
Usagi got to her feet and stood next to the bed. "Why not?"
"I just don't."
She advanced on her slowly, speaking softly. "You wrote that song, didn't you?"
She nodded, still looking away. She didn't want to answer, but she couldn't lie to the girl. "Yeah, I did."
"Rei," Usagi whispered, "who is that song about?"
"It..." Rei trailed off and swallowed, then continued in a whisper, "i-it's about...you..."
There was an uneasy silence. Usagi was standing right in front of her now and she still didn't know if she could look at her. She didn't know what to say. Usagi probably hated her now.
"Rei..."
Taking a small breath she turned to face her friend. She was surprised to see tears in her eyes. So certain she had upset her Rei was about to launch into a large apology, but before she could, Usagi finished what she had started to say.
"...I...I think I'm in love with you..."
Rei's eyes went wide. She was shocked and overjoyed at the same time.
"Usagi," she said, "I-I love you too. For so long I have..."
"Rei..."
The two girls began to slowly let the space between them dissolve. However just before their lips met, the familiar shrill of the phone ringing broke through the air from behind the miko. Without hesitating she reached behind her and ripped it out of the wall, hurling it across the room to shatter against the far wall before drawing Usagi into her arms and passionately kissing her.
~*End Chapter Four*~
Yay! One chapter left! Rest in peace, Rei's phone.
