CHAPTER 3
Problems
"Hey."
Sideswipe was surprised to hear the small voice of Charlie after they'd arrived the next week. But sure enough, there was Charlie, waiting for him by the house. He had the hood over his face again, trying to cover his scars, he could figure. Though he could only guess that it was from the other kids, given he had already seen the scars. "Oh, hey there Charlie. How's it hanging?"
Charlie shrugged a bit, shifting a little as he watched the other Autobots around. In total, four of them had come that day along with Optimus (in his case for a short while this time): Ironhide, Chromia, Mirage, and himself. Sunstreaker had elected to stay behind for the day given he really had been mostly out of place the other day, but knew he'd have to come back sometime anyway.
He could imagine that, at least with Ironhide and Chromia there, it would be a little nerve-wracking to Charlie. Both his brother and sister-in-law were after all, tough customers. "Don't worry, they're all pretty cool. Well, the verdict's still out on Mirage. He's a bit of a wild card." Sideswipe somewhat-assured him.
"I hope so." Charlie was silent for a moment. "I didn't think I'd see you back so soon."
To be honest, Sideswipe wasn't sure why he'd come back so soon either. Or rather, he did, but he wasn't sure if it was just him being weird. But the short answer was that he was looking at the reason: he wanted to see Charlie again.
Maybe it was because they had made a small connection, and the new pregnancy in the NEST family had thrown him off. Or maybe it was just that he liked the kid and wanted to check on him. But either way, Charlie had been close in his processor for the last few days. "Yeah, well, I'm here. Gonna do some work, but I thought I'd come by and at least try to be... Y'know, social." Sideswipe chuckled. "How are things going with you, small fry? Still got those good moves?"
Charlie shrugged his shoulders a bit as he walked alongside Sideswipe. The mech knew he'd soon have to activate his holoform and get to work, but hoped he could at least spare a few minutes. "I'm OK." He told Sideswipe with a rather honest tone to his voice. "Things got pretty boring when you guys left, honestly. Though I didn't get to play basketball much. I tried, but..."
Sideswipe didn't like the silence that followed. "But what?"
"Well, most of the time it's the older kids that play. I tried to go and join them for once... But they told me I was too short. And they..." He paused a long moment. "Nothing... I shouldn't be talking about this. I don't want to be a tattle-tale."
Sideswipe didn't like how that sounded. Turning his head, his optics narrowed a bit. "They didn't bully you, did they? Because if they were, it's grounds for saying something to an adult." He explained. "That isn't cool to pick on someone younger than you."
Charlie didn't seem as bothered by it as he should have been. He kicked up some dirt a bit, and shook his head. "Nah, it's fine. I'm used to it by now, I don't really fit in most places." He explained. "Besides, I don't really get along with people."
"We get along just fine."
"Yeah, but you don't... Look at me different." Charlie explained. "Everyone else does ever since the fire..."
Sideswipe wanted to ask what he meant, but he already had an idea. Charlie was disfigured from a fire, he didn't have a family, which was why he was here... Well, it wasn't hard to figure out what had happened. "No one should look at you much different. So what if you were fragging hurt by a fire? That isn't your fault." He shook his head. "And it makes you no different than any other sparkling."
Charlie was silent for a long moment, and then spoke up. "It wasn't just the scars... Or the fire. It's what happened..." He looked as though he wanted to elaborate on it, but seemed to be hesitating. "Well, I should go. I think they want us in the house for a little while before."
Sideswipe raised an optic ridge. "Before what?"
Charlie shifted on his feet uncomfortably. "Some of us are going to this stupid adoption party thing. It's dumb really, at least when you're our age. You meet some people, but no one really looks at you." He shook his head. "They look at the little kids."
Sideswipe was silent, adoption parties? "You mean they have parties where you can meet foster kids?" He asked.
"Why, you thinkin' of taking one?" Charlie asked rather innocently.
Sideswipe was silent, not wanting to bring that up. Even if he and Arcee decided to adopt, why tell Charlie that? By the time they made that decision, they could have been long done with the group home. Charlie could have been a distant memory. He didn't want to have this kid getting any ideas just because they were starting to become friends, after all.
So he simply frowned, and shook his head. "Not right now, anyway. My uh... My mate and I are still getting over the loss of our own youngling." He explained, making that very clear. "We haven't been thinking about where to go from there. I was just surprised there was such a thing as an "adoption party"."
Sideswipe could see the look of disappointment that Charlie tried to hide. Even if after a moment, it faded, it still made him feel rather bad. He really shouldn't have sounded so interested. "Oh, I'm uh... I'm sorry about your kid." Charlie managed. "How old...?"
"Better I don't answer that question." Sideswipe replied honestly.
Charlie seemed as though he already had a good idea of what Sideswipe meant by that. He was silent for a moment, then mentioned. "I'm sorry..." Charlie shook his head. "I lost my family too."
"I figured." Sideswipe replied. "The fire, right?"
Charlie was silent, and now Sideswipe knew he really didn't want to talk about it. "Charlie! Get in here! I have to make sure you're ready." Standish shouted from the doorway. "Your social workers will be here in twenty minutes."
"Good luck." Sideswipe tried to say as Charlie walked away.
"Thanks." Charlie nodded. "You too."
Sideswipe watched quietly as he disappeared into the house, and took a deep breath. He tried to remind himself that he couldn't get attached to this kid. Sure, they could be friends, but he also knew the last thing he wanted was to get too friendly. Not until he knew Arcee was OK with that.
Yet at the same time, he could already feel it happening.
...
Charlie felt even more dejected later that day when he returned to the home.
He didn't even care about paying attention to whether the Autobots were there. Rather he made himself storm straight to the room he had and slammed the door shut without even so much as a look anyone's way. Sure he hadn't expected anything good to happen, but he had at least expected... Well, he had at least expected families to be nice.
He thought that was the whole reason they didn't let him wear a hoodie. So that they knew right off the bat that Charlie had... Well, that Charlie had his scars. But instead, no one had given him a second glance. And even if they had, they seemed to give him looks that were... Not so nice. Or, at other times, rather sympathetic, but more or less, "not in this lifetime" in nature.
The young boy leaned against the wall quietly, and watched out the window as his social worker and Standish talked. Titus looked like he was trying to explain his behavior. But as usual, Standish didn't look too happy with it. As shown by the fact that after a moment, his eyes lifted to look at him through the window with the coldest glare he'd ever seen.
And if there was one thing he knew, it was not to make Standish flustered.
Sure, Standish was a good guy. He treated them well and nicely, talked to them with respect. But the man had a temper that rivaled most people at times. Sure, he'd never hit the kids, verbally abuse them, or treat them with disrespect. But as far as lectures went? Well, Standish knew how to make you sit down and shut up about attitudes.
That's why Charlie knew that Titus had to be telling the man about the scene he'd made. Charlie didn't see what the big deal was. He'd only thrown the cup across the bowling alley, and stood up, screaming how stupid it all was. After all, he'd seen so many kids at these parties, ones that went through more than he did, do far worse.
But Titus had acted like he had attacked someone. Rather than throw a little fit of rage. A little fit of anger that Charlie felt he deserved to be able to have. Why wouldn't he be angry? Everything had been taken from him, and now he was stuck in this situation with no hope. He knew he had a right to be angry with his situation, he always had a right.
That didn't stop him from tensing when he saw Standish approach the home again. Or when, minutes later, he heard his loud footsteps coming toward the door. "You know you can't hide in there forever." Standish's voice came out, rather scolding. "And you wouldn't be hiding if you weren't embarrassed."
"I'm not embarrassed! I'm angry!" Charlie snapped. "You didn't see the way they looked at me, Mr. Standish. They looked at me like I was some sort of freak! They were all jerks!"
Standish was silent on the other end, seemingly gathering his thoughts. He took a deep breath, and tried to get on his level in a way that surprised him. "That doesn't mean you can go throwing things. If there was anyone who didn't look at you wrong... How do you think they felt afterward?" He asked, rather bluntly.
Charlie wanted to throw something through the door at him for that one. This wasn't his fault. Sure, he had a bit of an attitude in recent months - but could anyone blame him? "It doesn't matter. Everyone wants the handsome kids. I'm a freak, they're right about that. I am." Charlie told Standish as he sat on his bed. "And don't bother coming in to tell me any different."
His ears perked up at a second, not as familiar pair of footsteps. "I take it that "adoption party" he talked about didn't go well." Charlie recognized Sideswipe's voice rather faintly, but didn't pay attention. "Want me to try to talk to him? He seemed to answer well to me."
"I didn't even know you two had chatted." Standish replied with surprise.
"Yeah, we talked a little bit." There was a quiet knock on the door. "Hey, kid. Can I come in? Come on... I'm not this guy. I'm not any kind of authority figure here to-."
"No."
Charlie didn't even want to see the mech. Not the one that had just as many issues as Charlie had at the moment. Just like Charlie, he'd lost someone and he felt almost bad pushing anything onto him. "You don't sound OK, Charlie. I don't want to worry about you."
Charlie grimaced, was this really coming from this mech? For the love of pete, they barely knew each other. And while sure, he liked Sideswipe, that didn't already make them best friends. Not even if the mech didn't look at him the same way. Or act any different around him than other kids. But rather, he guessed, seemed to look at him as a person...
But no, he wasn't about to let his guard down. It'd been up for so long now that he felt worried about what would happen if he let it down. "Charlie, we're going to talk about this later." He heard Standish tell him rather bluntly. "You should go, when Charlie gets like this... Well, I can't even get to him and I've known him for a month. Regardless of whether you're friendly with him or not he isn't going to listen to anyone."
He looked over, finally, someone who got it. After a long moment, there was more silence and then a low. "I hope you feel better, kid..."
Charlie noticed it wasn't from the other side of the door. But rather, instead of the holoform, it was from outside the window where Sideswipe's real form stood. For the first time, Charlie saw the look of Sideswipe's genuine concern. His genuine look of understanding. Of understanding? How in the world could this mech even begin to understand him?
He never got an answer as within moments, he could hear Standish leave. And the giant robot outside his window soon followed.
...
Arcee smiled when Sideswipe finally returned that night, but the mech did not return it.
She could tell that Sideswipe was bothered by something, but she couldn't tell what. And given the line of work he'd just gotten back from doing, she wasn't sure she wanted to know. Yet she let her curiosity get the better of her. Taking a few steps forward as Sideswipe moved into the kitchen area of their quarters to get an Energon cube, she put her hands on his shoulders. "Alright, what's wrong? Last time you were there I couldn't get a goofy grin off your face." She explained.
Sideswipe's shoulders slumped a bit, but he still shook his head. "It's nothing, babe. I just... Something happened with one of the kids today. It bothered me, that's all." He spun around with the most fake looking smile she'd ever seen. "What about you, 'Cee? Catch any 'Cons for me today?"
Arcee crossed her arms after a moment. Realizing that Sideswipe was probably not going to cave on telling her anything more. But all the same, she looked him in the optics. "Plenty of them, at least six were in New Mexico. One of them got away though... Bugger hit Elita's and she's staying overnight in the med bay. So I guess we've both had rough days."
Sideswipe shook his head. "Seems like we have a few too many of them these days." Sideswipe noted honestly, taking a deep breath. "'Sounds like we could use some time to unwind..." He added rather quietly, rolling towards the couch.
Now Arcee knew one thing about Sideswipe, and that was that he didn't get that blunt often. And so, she felt her worry for her bondmate grow in that respect. Just how bad had things been with the kids? What had happened to the one that he'd mentioned? "Will you tell me what's wrong?" Arcee asked.
Sideswipe grimaced a little, and seated himself down. "Starting to think you were right, OK? Maybe this was a bad idea so soon after the sparkling's death. These kids get under your plating really easy, especially when you've gone through similar slag before. I ain't fragging giving up, but it's tough, 'Cee, alright?"
Arcee could only imagine; as this only reaffirmed her own worries of if she had gone to this group home. "I told you so... You're getting attached to one, aren't you?" Arcee questioned, his silence being all that she needed. "Sides, you can't do that. I told you I don't want kids right now... And whatever this kid is going through."
Sideswipe shook his head. "It isn't like that. I hardly know that kid. It just... He was so fragging upset after meeting possible families. And unlike us it wasn't even one-on-one. It was some party, some party where he couldn't get a second glance." He tried hard not to get angry. "I'm sorry 'Cee. But I have to have some pity for the kid. I know what that's like. To be rejected by too many families to count."
She stood there, silent for a long time. Of course, having been raised in a loving family, she didn't know what that was like. But it was, after all, all coming together rather subtly... "I'm sorry..."
"It's fine. But I'm just... I'm not getting attached, don't worry." Sideswipe shook his head for the fourth time. "Just shook me up a bit, that's all."
The way that Sideswipe looked at her as he said it though... Well, Arcee wasn't sure she could honestly buy that. Perhaps he wasn't attached now, but one of the things she loved about the mech was his big spark. His ability to feel something for those who needed it... And regardless of what he was saying, Arcee knew she'd made a connection with someone.
As fledgling as it might have been.
And so, she started her way towards Sideswipe, and seated herself on the couch. Placing her hand on his, she looked him quietly in the optics. They didn't say anything, but each knew what the other was thinking. "It's going to be OK, Sides..." Arcee explained.
Arcee hoped that her words would be enough to keep him going. Because despite the fact she knew that Sideswipe was finding this tough... She also knew that he'd be going back. She only hoped this fledgling bond wouldn't develop into something worth worrying about.
...
A/N: I know, a little more tense of a chapter. But not all of them can be "happy" after all. Hope it came off well none-the-less.
