Chapter 4-Cubilulum¹

To ten-million fireflies

I'm weird cause I hate goodbyes
Fireflies - Owl City

In his basement, after lunch, Gibbs placed the third photo with the others and closed his eyes for a moment before his fingers rubbed the fourth photo and his eyes opened, burning.

The fourth photo showed a fancy hotel's room, with white walls and a dossal's bed made by satin, where was a woman with wavy red hair and green and intelligent eyes, wearing a white overcoat, laughing and sitting on Gibbs's lap, with his hair brown and gray, her arms above her head, hugging Gibbs's neck, who wore a NIS T-shirt and jeans, laughing, one hand resting on her thigh and the other over his own leg.

Gibbs turned the photo and saw what he had written:

I never believed in summer romances, but I love Jenny Shepard and after what happened in Marseilles, London and Positano, we stopped dancing around each other in the attic in Marseille and and now we are together here, in Paris, after the black op.

We were off of our operation in a white room we shared in Paris and I approached Jenny from behind, kissing her neck and she turned to me, laughing. I smiled and handed her a box and Jenny was surprised, raising an eyebrow and saying with her French accent:

"You're full of surprises today, Jethro."

She took the box with trembling fingers, opening it and taking what was inside. She pulled a Dior white overcoat and she stared at me looking touched before pulling my face and kissing me hard. I laughed, pulling away and holding her face, before kissing her again and asking:

"So I guess you liked it?"

"Jethro, it's beautiful, I didn't know that you understand about fashion." I laughed and she pointed to the bed. "Wait for me here."

"What will you do?"

"You'll see."

I sat on the bed and she was a few feet away from me, her back to the mirror while smiling seductively and she dropped the robe she wore at her feet revealing that she was naked, her skin shinning. I smirked at her, admiring her body, my heart beating fast. She then grabbed her new coat and dressed slowly and she pirouetted.

"Enjoyed?"

I pulled her by her arms, making her sit on my lap and she brought her hands to my neck as I leaned down and kissed her, running a hand down her side and inside her robe feeling her naked and perfumed skin, making her sigh and deepening the kiss. When we parted, with flushed faces, she said:

"Jethro... I love you." She said, with her French accent, staring at me.

I smiled, stroking her bare thigh and kissing her again, breathing in her french' perfume.

"That will be the day, my love."

She placed a camera and we smiled for the photo.

Jen. Gibbs left the picture aside, thinking about everything that had happened afterwards. The 'dear John' letter she had left for him and her return as the director and then her death. He knew the things she had done and left open led herself to her death, but he couldn't stop thinking that if he had said 'yes' instead of 'no' in Carson's case, maybe things would have been different and Jenny would still be there with him, driving him mad.

The true was that Jenny had been the only woman in his life he hadn't choose to replace Shannon. No, he had loved her with all his heart and, although all their fights and the way things had ended, his feelings hadn't changed and he still missed her so much.

It took him courage to open the drawer, pulling out a sealed letter that Ducky had given him after her funeral a few years ago but he never had the courage to open it, not knowing if he was ready for what he would find there. He stared at the letter, feeling her French perfume there and he opened it, running his eyes over her elegant handwriting.

Dear Jethro.

If you are reading this letter, then that means I'm already dead, which is a shame because there were a lot of things that I wanted to tell you, facing you. Jethro, the truth is that I don't feel happy with the choices I've made, some of them were very selfish. But what I wanted most was that you said 'yes' instead of 'no' that night Carson slept in my house. One word and I would have given myself to you, like in Marseilles, London, Positano, Paris and many other places, no other man had ever taken me to paradise, your fingers on my skin were able to make me feel safe, sexy and loved.

I know you felt something for me in Paris, but I also know that you never loved me as you loved Shannon. Jethro, you need to find a woman who will make you happy and you also will make her happy, and that she won't be just a redhead, substitute, like me and your ex. I wish I had been the woman of your life, Jethro. We'll always have Paris in our dreams.

Jennifer Giulia Shepard, 2008.

"Oh Jen..." Gibbs held the letter, bringing it to his lips and kissing with his heart hurting. "Jen, you've never been a substitute to anyone, because I loved you in Paris and back to Washington, after you took my heart with you."

"You're very romantic today, Jethro."

Gibbs looked at the ghost of Jenny, with her legs crossed and smirking, wearing a skirt and high heels.

"Jen." He called, skeptical, as he stood up and touched her face. "Jen, you didn't have to die alone..."

She softened her eyes, taking the hand that was on her face and putting on her.

"Jethro, I was selfish and made mistakes so I tried to work things out without calling you, but it ended up going wrong." She said smiling.

He was between her legs, touching her red lips with his, before kissing her hard. He raised his hand to her back, approaching her more and caressing her everywhere he could reach, while Jenny ran her hands inside his shirt, in their remaining minutes together, kissing and hugging each other.
TBC
¹White Room