Ok who am I kidding I love this chapter so I'm putting it up now. I also like my next chapter. Separately there ok but together it get giddy. I don't care if anyone reads. I like it anyway.

Claire P.O.V

Here it goes all or nothing. Why was I so nervous it was Eli I knew him like the back of my hand. Rejection my head said, your scared he won't want you in his life at all and you can't handle that and you know it. I pushed my worries aside. He was Eli my Eli. Well not anymore but I was 95% sure he wouldn't slam the door in my face. I mean I was knocking on his window first so the worse he could do is ignore me. Which was the reason I wasn't calling or looking at his texts so if it was all hate mail I wouldn't know and he wouldn't be expecting me. Probably my best decision in a while too. I had made so many mistakes but I'm an emotional wreck I mean really who could blame me. I mean did everyone forget what I did all Summer! Jeezzz! I used to think me and Eli were forever. I couldn't handle all this! My urge to jump on him would be overwhelming especially after all that had just happened. It wasn't his job to hold me though anymore when I messed everything up. It wasn't because my mess up was walking away. I mean hell I didn't even give him much of a chance to speak. I was trying to be strong and stick to what I had said because I thought it was the right decision for me. I thought Drew was the right decision for me. The question was should I spend the whole night trying to get Eli to let me still see him or should I give a guy who couldn't even handle one night of what Eli was used to a second chance to try to prove himself to me again. I didn't know I mean I might as well since I'd given up the best thing I had. It's not like I'd ever feel what I had with Eli anyway. It started to rain just my luck.

I had just made it to his window though so I made a few knocks and said "Eli it's me I'm going around to the door let me in."

I then walked around to the door and waited for either good news or the worse, and I didn't even know if it mattered anymore anyway.

Eli P.O.V

I either just heard Clare outside or I was dreaming. It honestly could have been either in the state I was in. Why would she be out in the rain though? She would have had to have walked and that's a pretty long way on foot which means she ran. I should probably at least go check and see if its her just incase it was real. It was just after one though and that wasn't very Clare like but what did he know anymore he'd been so wrapped up in himself lately she could do this all the time. I slipped on pj pants and walked to the door. As I opened it I saw part of a foot and swung it open. She was soaking wet and cold by the way she was shaking. He wanted to grab her right then and take her to his bed and wrap her up with him. It was no longer his right to do so now though. That role apparently went to Drew now. Shit...

Clare P.O.V

"You don't have to let me in." I stuttered from the sheer cold. I had just realized I was sore and tired too.

"That would be very rude of me" he said with unreadable eyes.

It's fine I said. Just hear me out ok, and I'll be on my way I swear Eli.

Clare... he started.

No pleases listen I pleaded. I know I fucked up tonight. I mean you haven't been boyfriend of the year or anything. Also the fact that I had to dump you to get you to show up pisses me off too but it's not exactly about that. I can't not know you... I don't think I can live that way. Earlier I was so certain I was doing the right thing and now I just don't know anymore. I can never stop loving you. The minute I saw you I knew that. Now I know I can't live without you either. I don't have to be a friend just anything you'll let me be Eli. Please don't go.

Eli P.O.V

I listened to her as she asked. She still loved me... I knew one thing for certain I defiantly couldn't let her in my life as a friend. I couldn't handle that. I lost the restraint I promised myself I'd have when I saw her shiver hard again. I threw myself at her and swooped her up into my arms and carried her through the door. She was just about to talk when she fainted in my arms. I knew I shouldn't have let her stand out there that long after all that running and cold. her body was still weak from just getting better this year. I carried her to my bed and wrapped her up in the blankets.

"I'll be back I swear" I whispered. "I'm not going anywhere this time."

I left to go make her something warm to eat and some tea. If it got cold I could always reheat it. She would need it when she woke up.