Artemis Fowl Fan Fic Academy
By Spectra16
Disclaimer: I don't own Artemis Fowl. Blah.
A/N: THANK YOU REVIEWERS! ! ! I'm sorry but I'm not adding anymore fan fic writers. I'm really sorry. I might randomly just add someone but I won't add any more big parts! Sorry. Please be understanding!
*gets pelted by rocks from angry fan fic writers* I SAID SORRY!
And no, the dead body isn't Artemis. I CAN'T KILL HIM! THAT ISN'T CORRECT!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Chapter Four: A Day With A Blank-Minded Artemis
"AH!" Big Friendly Walrus screamed.
"Ew. . .," Artemis Fowl the Second (fan fic writer) commented.
"This is crazy!" AleniaOceanstar yelled.
"JUST TELL THE AUDIENCE WHO DIED!" slime frog screamed. Everyone looked at her weird.
"It's . . . Fido . . .," Big Friendly Walrus stammered.
"Why is he here though?" Artemis Fowl the Second asked.
Everyone stopped. As if a dead guy wasn't surprising enough. Everyone slowly turned around to see a 13 year old boy, pale, black hair, frightening in fact. Artemis rubbed his chin as if he was thinking deeply. Everyone was astonished on how correct they all were to what Artemis really looked like. Artemis realized they were all starring.
"Is there something wrong?" Artemis asked.
"You-you-you . . . uh . . . you're . . . Artemis!" AleniaOceanstar stammered.
"Yeah? I thought that much was obvious!"
"Why is he here?!" Artemis Fowl the Second (fan fic writer) asked, pointing to Fido.
"I don't know. I'm guessing he was killed. I heard a gunshot and came to where I figured it was," Artemis said.
"Why is he . . . in the girls bathroom!?!?!?!" AleniaOceanstar asked.
"I DON'T KNOW!" Artemis yelled in frustration.
"Really? I would've figured you would. After all, you're the great Artemis Fowl!" slime frog mocked. She crossed her arms.
"Trust me. I'm not going to know everything all the time."
PyRo4, Kelaal, spontaneousxhumanxcombustion, and Kitty Rainbow went down to Fido's classroom of fan fiction. It was eerie but oh well.
Kelaal looked through drawers and cabinets. There wasn't any too suspicious, except for the copies of stories in Artemis Fowl fan fiction. Every single one was there. Even the ones that were taken off. Kelaal read some of them while PyRo4 decided to go through Fido's computer files.
Kitty Rainbow looked around the classroom itself. The desks were ordered in such a precise way, it was scary. And Fido's desk had so much stuff on it, like post-it notes and just notes in general. He must of had a hard time remembering things.
spontaneousxhumanxcombustion looked out the window at the sky, getting darker the longer they stayed.
"Shouldn't we worry about Fido coming in the classroom while we're here?" spontaneousxhumanxcombustion asked.
"No worries. It says here on his schedule that he isn't supposed to get back from a staff meeting until 8," PyRo4 looked through Fido's schedule on his computer. spontaneousxhumanxcombustion couldn't help but wonder about what Fido would tell the teachers.
Blue Yeti looked around, kind of scooping out the area around where their group was looking. Nyghtvision carefully opened the door to the teacher's lounge. No one was inside. surrealallstar dug through the papers in the room. Bloody Dead Rose turned on the t.v. Spectra16 went into the fridge. Blue Yeti rolled her eyes.
Everyone was told to meet in the Rec. Room at 7:30. Everyone was there.
"You guys found a dead guy? No fair, all we found was fan fiction!" Kelaal joked.
"This isn't funny! He's Fido! He's a teacher! HE'S THE MASTER OF ALL OF FAN FICTION!" AleniaOceanstar yelled.
"Good point."
"We found Artemis too!" slime frog announced. Artemis gave a week fake smile.
"Do you know who we are?" Nyghtvision asked.
"I don't even know who I am, much less you!" Artemis confessed.
"You seemed to know Fido!" Big Friendly Walrus pointed out.
"Yeah. I know him."
"Do you know any of the teachers?" Nyghtvision asked.
"No. Why? Am I supposed to?"
"One of them is your father!" spontaneousxhumanxcombustion said.
"Really? Which one?"
FACEPALM
"Don't you remember anything? Jon Spiro? Holly Short? Juliet Butler?" Blue Yeti asked.
Artemis looked down at his shoes.
"No. . ."
"Speaking of which, I haven't seen Jon or Juliet!" AleniaOceanstar said.
"I saw Juliet the first day of school. She helped me find my dorm," Spectra16 mentioned.
"Yeah. I saw Jon too. He was an assistant coach for gym one day, with Butler," PyRo4 said.
"What an unlikely couple. . . ," Kitty Rainbow said.
"Can someone explain something to me?" Artemis asked.
"What is it?" Nyghtvision asked.
"Why am I here?"
There was a pause.
"We don't know. But we're going to try to find out," surrealallstar said. Artemis nodded.
"We don't even know why we're here," slime frog admitted to him.
NEXT DAY, FIRST HOUR
"Act like you belong!" Nyghtvision told Artemis. Artemis sat up straight and put his nose in a book. Funny thing is, it's Physical Ed.
"Good morning class!" Butler chirped. Very not like him.
Everyone looked at Artemis to see if he recognized Butler. He didn't seem to.
"We're going to the gym today-
"NO!" Everyone yelled.
"And that means . . . . 113 PUSH-UPS!"
Everyone rolled their eyes.
"Just do what he says and you'll be fine," Spectra16 told Artemis.
"BUT I'M NOT PHYSICALLY PHYSICAL!" Artemis complained.
"Get over it. I tried that with the last school. That excuse didn't get me anywhere."
LATER
"One hundred five, one hundred six, one hundred seven. . ." Butler called off. Most of the students passed out.
"Why do we need this for fan fiction?" PyRo4 asked. Nyghtvision shrugged.
"Conditioning."
SECOND HOUR
"Do you recognize him?" Kelaal passed this note to Artemis. Artemis grabbed his pencil and wrote back "No. Why?"
THIRD HOUR
"FINALLY! SOMEONE THAT KNOWS CALCULUS!" Root praised Frond for Artemis. Artemis just smiled and walked back to his seat. slime frog looked at him jealously.
FOURTH HOUR
"Does anyone have any ideas for our new project? Unix didn't seem to turn out," Foaly asked.
"How about the Sims?" Kitty Rainbow asked. Foaly glared.
"SOMETHING EDUCATIONAL! ! !"
"That's educational . . ."
"Anyone else have a suggestion?"
"How about the destruction of Windows?" Artemis asked. Foaly's ears perked up.
"Sounds good to me."
FIFTH HOUR
"Disclaimers are simple. All you do is tell your readers that you do not own what you are writing about. It's simple yet people make it harder for themselves," Holly told. dijip cowered.
LUNCH
"Is this school anything like Saint Bartleby's?" Nyghtvision asked and nudged Artemis.
"Saint Bartleby's?" Artemis asked, almost choking on the school food.
"Yeah!"
"What's that?" Artemis asked. Nyghtvision shrugged.
"Whoever mind wiped you did a good job!" spontaneousxhumanxcombustion said.
Then it hit everyone.
Someone from LEP must have gotten Artemis and everyone else! But who? Foaly, Holly, and Root were wiped themselves! Who could've done something like this? And why was Fido dead?
By Spectra16
Disclaimer: I don't own Artemis Fowl. Blah.
A/N: THANK YOU REVIEWERS! ! ! I'm sorry but I'm not adding anymore fan fic writers. I'm really sorry. I might randomly just add someone but I won't add any more big parts! Sorry. Please be understanding!
*gets pelted by rocks from angry fan fic writers* I SAID SORRY!
And no, the dead body isn't Artemis. I CAN'T KILL HIM! THAT ISN'T CORRECT!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Chapter Four: A Day With A Blank-Minded Artemis
"AH!" Big Friendly Walrus screamed.
"Ew. . .," Artemis Fowl the Second (fan fic writer) commented.
"This is crazy!" AleniaOceanstar yelled.
"JUST TELL THE AUDIENCE WHO DIED!" slime frog screamed. Everyone looked at her weird.
"It's . . . Fido . . .," Big Friendly Walrus stammered.
"Why is he here though?" Artemis Fowl the Second asked.
Everyone stopped. As if a dead guy wasn't surprising enough. Everyone slowly turned around to see a 13 year old boy, pale, black hair, frightening in fact. Artemis rubbed his chin as if he was thinking deeply. Everyone was astonished on how correct they all were to what Artemis really looked like. Artemis realized they were all starring.
"Is there something wrong?" Artemis asked.
"You-you-you . . . uh . . . you're . . . Artemis!" AleniaOceanstar stammered.
"Yeah? I thought that much was obvious!"
"Why is he here?!" Artemis Fowl the Second (fan fic writer) asked, pointing to Fido.
"I don't know. I'm guessing he was killed. I heard a gunshot and came to where I figured it was," Artemis said.
"Why is he . . . in the girls bathroom!?!?!?!" AleniaOceanstar asked.
"I DON'T KNOW!" Artemis yelled in frustration.
"Really? I would've figured you would. After all, you're the great Artemis Fowl!" slime frog mocked. She crossed her arms.
"Trust me. I'm not going to know everything all the time."
PyRo4, Kelaal, spontaneousxhumanxcombustion, and Kitty Rainbow went down to Fido's classroom of fan fiction. It was eerie but oh well.
Kelaal looked through drawers and cabinets. There wasn't any too suspicious, except for the copies of stories in Artemis Fowl fan fiction. Every single one was there. Even the ones that were taken off. Kelaal read some of them while PyRo4 decided to go through Fido's computer files.
Kitty Rainbow looked around the classroom itself. The desks were ordered in such a precise way, it was scary. And Fido's desk had so much stuff on it, like post-it notes and just notes in general. He must of had a hard time remembering things.
spontaneousxhumanxcombustion looked out the window at the sky, getting darker the longer they stayed.
"Shouldn't we worry about Fido coming in the classroom while we're here?" spontaneousxhumanxcombustion asked.
"No worries. It says here on his schedule that he isn't supposed to get back from a staff meeting until 8," PyRo4 looked through Fido's schedule on his computer. spontaneousxhumanxcombustion couldn't help but wonder about what Fido would tell the teachers.
Blue Yeti looked around, kind of scooping out the area around where their group was looking. Nyghtvision carefully opened the door to the teacher's lounge. No one was inside. surrealallstar dug through the papers in the room. Bloody Dead Rose turned on the t.v. Spectra16 went into the fridge. Blue Yeti rolled her eyes.
Everyone was told to meet in the Rec. Room at 7:30. Everyone was there.
"You guys found a dead guy? No fair, all we found was fan fiction!" Kelaal joked.
"This isn't funny! He's Fido! He's a teacher! HE'S THE MASTER OF ALL OF FAN FICTION!" AleniaOceanstar yelled.
"Good point."
"We found Artemis too!" slime frog announced. Artemis gave a week fake smile.
"Do you know who we are?" Nyghtvision asked.
"I don't even know who I am, much less you!" Artemis confessed.
"You seemed to know Fido!" Big Friendly Walrus pointed out.
"Yeah. I know him."
"Do you know any of the teachers?" Nyghtvision asked.
"No. Why? Am I supposed to?"
"One of them is your father!" spontaneousxhumanxcombustion said.
"Really? Which one?"
FACEPALM
"Don't you remember anything? Jon Spiro? Holly Short? Juliet Butler?" Blue Yeti asked.
Artemis looked down at his shoes.
"No. . ."
"Speaking of which, I haven't seen Jon or Juliet!" AleniaOceanstar said.
"I saw Juliet the first day of school. She helped me find my dorm," Spectra16 mentioned.
"Yeah. I saw Jon too. He was an assistant coach for gym one day, with Butler," PyRo4 said.
"What an unlikely couple. . . ," Kitty Rainbow said.
"Can someone explain something to me?" Artemis asked.
"What is it?" Nyghtvision asked.
"Why am I here?"
There was a pause.
"We don't know. But we're going to try to find out," surrealallstar said. Artemis nodded.
"We don't even know why we're here," slime frog admitted to him.
NEXT DAY, FIRST HOUR
"Act like you belong!" Nyghtvision told Artemis. Artemis sat up straight and put his nose in a book. Funny thing is, it's Physical Ed.
"Good morning class!" Butler chirped. Very not like him.
Everyone looked at Artemis to see if he recognized Butler. He didn't seem to.
"We're going to the gym today-
"NO!" Everyone yelled.
"And that means . . . . 113 PUSH-UPS!"
Everyone rolled their eyes.
"Just do what he says and you'll be fine," Spectra16 told Artemis.
"BUT I'M NOT PHYSICALLY PHYSICAL!" Artemis complained.
"Get over it. I tried that with the last school. That excuse didn't get me anywhere."
LATER
"One hundred five, one hundred six, one hundred seven. . ." Butler called off. Most of the students passed out.
"Why do we need this for fan fiction?" PyRo4 asked. Nyghtvision shrugged.
"Conditioning."
SECOND HOUR
"Do you recognize him?" Kelaal passed this note to Artemis. Artemis grabbed his pencil and wrote back "No. Why?"
THIRD HOUR
"FINALLY! SOMEONE THAT KNOWS CALCULUS!" Root praised Frond for Artemis. Artemis just smiled and walked back to his seat. slime frog looked at him jealously.
FOURTH HOUR
"Does anyone have any ideas for our new project? Unix didn't seem to turn out," Foaly asked.
"How about the Sims?" Kitty Rainbow asked. Foaly glared.
"SOMETHING EDUCATIONAL! ! !"
"That's educational . . ."
"Anyone else have a suggestion?"
"How about the destruction of Windows?" Artemis asked. Foaly's ears perked up.
"Sounds good to me."
FIFTH HOUR
"Disclaimers are simple. All you do is tell your readers that you do not own what you are writing about. It's simple yet people make it harder for themselves," Holly told. dijip cowered.
LUNCH
"Is this school anything like Saint Bartleby's?" Nyghtvision asked and nudged Artemis.
"Saint Bartleby's?" Artemis asked, almost choking on the school food.
"Yeah!"
"What's that?" Artemis asked. Nyghtvision shrugged.
"Whoever mind wiped you did a good job!" spontaneousxhumanxcombustion said.
Then it hit everyone.
Someone from LEP must have gotten Artemis and everyone else! But who? Foaly, Holly, and Root were wiped themselves! Who could've done something like this? And why was Fido dead?
