Summary: Kuro-woof is jealous! And it leads to a death match. WHOO!
Date Written: February 3, 2007
Kalili: Fai? Can I ask you a question?
Fai: Of course! What is it?
Kalili: Well, I was just wondering if you could maybe, STOP BEING EMO!
Fai: ... Excuse me?
WARNING! I use a naughty word in this one. –politely covers mouth and looks away-
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Lately, Syaoran had found Sakura and his self in odd situations. The latest installment, they were currently in what looked to be a Roman coliseum seated with the emperor of that world. Fai was purposely dangling over the edge of their balcony while Kurogane was the center of attention preparing to fight the emperor's son. Okay, so technically it was Kurogane and Fai who were in an odd situation, but Syaoran was still being forced to watch it.
Like many worlds before this, for some odd reason they had become acquainted with the royalty. The emperor had told them all about the place and that all citizens had some sort of magic inside of them, the royal family being the most powerful and only marrying those who have a large amount themselves. After saying that, Fai was immediately whisked away from the others to speak with the emperor's son while the rest of the group was inconspicuously sent to the servant house. They soon found out that the royal family (or "assholes" as Kurogane had dubbed them) had decided to wed Fai to their son. Kurogane got pissed without it actually looking like he cared about Fai, one thing lead to another and now there was a death match between Kurogane and the prince.
"Welcome to the fight of the decade!" the emperor announced, his voice echoing throughout the stadium. "I say that, because it shall determine my son and your future ruler's marriage!" The crowd let out a loud cheer. "His bride? The lovely and extremely powerful Fai!" Another, louder, cheer as he pointed Fai out. "However, this man" –he pointed accusingly down at Kurogane- "has objected to the wonderful decision!" This time, the crowd booed and a few brave souls threw some beer cans at him (missing). Kurogane just stayed calm, seeming to preserve his energy for the more important matter at hand. "Are the challengers ready?"
"Yes, your highness," the rather hot prince answered. "I am fully prepared to die for my beloved."
"How sweet," Fai muttered, less than half heartedly. "But really, can't we talk about this? A marriage can't work out properly unless both parties are communicating!"
"You are correct. We shall discuss this after I have slain this ogre and presented his head on a platter!"
"OGRE?!" Kurogane yelled, finally breaking his bad ass ninja cool. Fai just sighed and dropped his head out of exhaustion of having to try and politely break it to this prince guy that he really, REALLY didn't want to date royalty making marriage completely out of the question.
The guards had been brought out to hold Kurogane back as he was trying to attack the prince before the emperor said so. It took about fifteen of them hanging off of the ninja before they were finally able to at least have him just shuffling across the ground.
The prince, meanwhile, was just smirking at the display. Kurogane had already gone into an hour long rant the night before in his holding room about how the guy was a man-whore, a daddy's boy, and probably spent more time fixing his hair than training (let's just all believe that Kuro-wan wakes up with his hair 100 naturally spiky with four little hairs hanging just so in his eyes, okay?), but he was still finding stuff to yell at the guy. It was probably because the prince kept doing some hand motion to indicate a certain action with Fai.
Syaoran had told Sakura that it was customary in this world for the women to leave the stadium in order to make a basket of cookies for their favorite warrior. Now the god of that world must have actually liked him because she left and even took Mokona with her. Therefore, her pureness was preserved. For the most part. Now he just had to pray that Kurogane didn't get them all killed for him killing this world's prince.
"A few rules before we start. The prince, Alexander, is not allowed to use any forms of sorcery due to his opponent being retarded in that area." –ten more guards were added to keep Kurogane still- "In return, the gorilla is not to touch Prince Alexander's face for he might taint it with his monkey paws." Twenty-five plus twenty equals forty-five! "Now that that's settled, release the barbarian and let the match begin!"
Not one second later after the guards scrambled away from him, Kurogane had drawn his sword and was charging right to Alexander. Still with that stupid smirk, Alexander leapt into the air, taking out his own sword, and coming back down with the intent of slicing Kurogane in half. Had he not been a, "freakin' pansy" he might have succeeded. But Kurogane had seen that move coming and quickly dodged it and prepared for another.
The prince had gloating in mind, though. "I see that you actually can use that stick you call a weapon. Though, dearest Fai must be terribly disappointed in your technique."
That got the crowd yelling, "Oooh!" and "Oh no he di'n't!"
"I'm surprised you actually HAVE one," Kurogane said. He didn't really get the same response. He just got more beer bottles thrown at him for being "insolent." And he wasn't helping his situation by flicking them off.
"So Fai," the prince, meanwhile, was saying, now casually leaning in close to the mage, "where shall we go on our honey moon? Athens or Olympus? Of course, if you have any other ideas, I shall listen with utmost attention."
"How wonderful," Fai said, turning his head away to hide his face, which was currently similar to his hangover face.
"Get your ass back over here!" Kurogane shouted.
"How annoying," Alexander took on a look of disgust. He quickly replaced that, though, with one of immense charm as he turned back to Fai and took his hand. "It seems that our time has to be momentarily interrupted, Angel. But no matter, for that means that our next encounter shall be all the sweeter. Until that time, I leave you with this." That's when the proverbial shit hit the fan. His royal dumbass leaned forward and kissed Fai's hand.
After an eye bug, Kurogane threw his sword down (while still making sure it was okay) and shouted, "I'LL USE MY BARE HANDS TO KILL YOU, YOU SON OF A BITCH!" And the chase began. It actually resembled that of a famous Kurogane/Fai chase, except that there was a lot of laughter by other parties. Alexander seemed to be mocking Kurogane which was making the guy even more pissed which made the idiot egg him on.
"Are you always like this or are you just angry that I'm going to be DOING what you've probably only dreamed of?" he yelled over his shoulder.
Then the thought to be impossible happened. Kurogane had become so consumed with anger, he had frozen in place. Silence followed this scene as everyone just looked on in wonder and the prince dared to get an inch away from his face for an inspection. Nothing.
"Seeing how my 'opponent' has ceased his movements," said Alexander, "I must declare myself the winner and claim my beautiful prize!" As the crowd cheered and Fai shuddered uncontrollably, the prince got down on one knee facing the poor mage and continued, "I wish to ask my love, Fai, if he would marr-!" He wasn't able to finish, though, since Kurogane's hand was gripping his neck and looking like he was not going to let go anytime soon. It was just loose enough so he could breath, but still unable to move. Kurogane took advantage of that and brought the guy closer to his self and began to speak to him. Even though everyone was quiet, nobody could hear what he was saying. Except for Syaoran.
"I advise you to listen and listen damn good to what I'm about to say because I am not going to repeat it! That little comment about doing Fai? I should skin you alive, cut off your dick, and make you choke on it for that! Only reason I'm not is because of some bitch's doing and honestly, you're not worth my time. You're just some pretty boy who's probably never even been laid! But if you really think that you can screw the guy harder than me, then go ahead and say it. I'll let you." (1)
Alexander appeared to have finally gotten his common sense, because even when Kurogane let him go, he just coughed and stared at him with his eyes wide, refusing to take the so-called offer. After a few minutes of that, he scrambled to his feet and announced in a shaky voice, "I-It has come to my attention that this marriage cannot be. You may be wondering why… It's because I-I like women."
There was a pause before the crowd began murmuring, "Okay", "Whatever" , "Sure, man."
Fai quickly recovered from his depression and leapt onto Kurogane's back singing, "I'm single! I'm single!"
Without a word, Syaoran got up from his seat and left the large dome to search for Sakura and Mokona. As he reflected on what he learned that day, he decided that he was probably getting used to the fact that Kurogane and Fai were in a "relationship" (albeit, it appeared to be unhealthy). But he just didn't need to know how hard Kurogane was able to screw Fai.
Mission/Part 2: Protect Sakura from ever hearing such words.
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1.) This was hard to write. And I know that it's kind of weird. But I needed Syaoran somehow scarred! That threat would probably scar SOMEBODY if they heard it! I know I disturbed myself when I came up with that part about the dick.
A/N: Still accepting ideas! Though, I do already have the next chapter in mind.
