"It has your nose," she says slamming the sonogram picture down on my desk. I pick it up and look at it. It's black and white and mostly shadows, but there in the middle is a tiny oval with a printed arrow and BABY! Written next to it in the sonogram type the technician added to the print. It's weird, but suddenly it feels like I'm holding my whole world in my hands. Donna really is pregnant with my child. How the hell did that happen and moreover, how virile am I for making it happen!? I can't help but feel smug.
"So, the doctor said everything is ok?"
"Yes, everything is lovely, I'm a healthy 25-year-old who got knocked up by her much older boss. Just peachy."
Her comment worries me. I don't often think of her age in contrast to mine. Maybe I'm ready for a family and she's not. "I meant about your health, the pregnancy, the baby."
"Yes, we're all fine."
I exhale with relief. I didn't really realize I was worried, but her visit to the doctor dredged up feelings that I didn't know I had. She won't look at me so I move around my desk and pull her hands into mine.
"When did the doctor say we a..."
"February 6th."
"The night of the State of the..."
"Josh, seriously how did this happen, we were so careful, we used condoms and you..."
"A what? A condom, we haven't used those in like, years."
"Josh, I don't even remember what happened the night of the State of the Union I was so tired and we'd had so much to drink. Please, please tell me you used a condom."
"Well, you didn't stop me!"
"Josh, I was too busy being drunk and taken advantage of!"
"Hey you were willing!"
"I know! But not without a condom!" Her voice is hysterical at this point and I'm back to wondering how sound proof my door is.
"But we don't usually use them, how was I supposed to know?"
"Josh, I specifically told you I had missed my doctor's appointment and we'd have to use other protection for the next month or two until they could get me in to renew my prescription, I even bought condoms and put them in your night stand!" And now I feel like an asshole.
"Donna, I forgot." I try to get her to look me in the eye as I run my hand over her still-flat stomach. "It's gonna be ok, you know that, right?"
I hear her take in a shaky breath. "I always wanted to be a mom, Josh, I just never thought it would be like this," she whispers.
"Like what?" I ask gently.
"Unmarried and with my boss," she says flatly.
"Oh." It's good to know she wants kids. Bad that she doesn't want them with me.
"You really freaked me out on Monday. What if the press do get a hold of this?"
"Well you could reconsider my offer?"
She purses her lips into a thin line. "No. I'm not making a decision like that now."
"Donna," I whine.
"I am going to talk to CJ now." She says and begins to turn for the door.
"What? I am coming with you."
"No, you aren't. It will cause a scene and you will say something stupid."
"I won't. What are you going to tell her?"
"Just enough so that if this does leak, like you are so sure it will, that she's not blindsided."
"Do you have to tell her now? I mean, you haven't even decided on a plan."
"This is so I can buy myself more time to think over the plan, you idiot. In all of your strategizing has it not occurred to you that I may be freaking out a little bit here and having a female friend with whom I could share my situation might be helpful?"
Her comment hurts, I feel like I should be her confidant, but I also understand that having a woman to talk with could be helpful so I deflect. "You shouldn't let the baby hear you call me an idiot."
She doesn't respond and before I can try to talk her out of it she turns and leaves, shutting my door behind her.
