Part Four
Bumble: FOR GOODNESS SAKE!
Deal Or No Deal (Take Two)
Bill: Nancy, if you go and get Oliver I'll give ya no beatin's for a week and I'll drop yer curfew. Deal…or no deal?
Nancy: (sucks in breath)
Fagin's Boys: Take the deal! Take the deal!
(Bill's phone rings)
Bill: Yes? Yes? Really? See you next time!
(to Nancy) That wos my banker. He said that if you take this deal he will give an all expenses paid holiday to Miami in the five star Sheridan Hotel!
Charley Bates: I've always wanted to go there!
Bill: Deal Or No Deal?
Fagin's Boys: Take the deal! (chant)
Nancy: But wot about Oliver?
Fagin's Boys: (continue chanting)
Nancy: Uh…
Fagin: TAKE IT!
Nancy: NO DEAL!
Boys: (groan)
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Pick-A-Pocket-Or-Two (Take Two)
Boy: (tries to steal Fagin's handkerchief, but it's stuck with chewing gum)
(pulls Fagin to the ground)
Oliver: Oooh!
Fagin: It's cool, everything's cool…(gets to his feet)I mean to do that. (grabs toasting fork, spears boy)
Oliver: OH ****!
Everyone: (gasp)
Dodger: Not so innocent now are ya?
Oliver: I didn't mean to do that… (smacks Dodger)
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Nancy Peached!
Dodger: (runs in, breathless) (opens mouth to begin message)
Fagin: Wait son. Catch yer breath.
Bill: Have a chocolate frappucino!
Dodger: (slurps frappucino) (coughs) NANCY PEACHED!
Bill: WOT? I HATE 'AVING TO CLEAN UP THA' MESS! IT GETS EVERYTHIN' STICKY!
Fagin: Oh yes, I remember back in '84…we were washing peach juice out of Bulls-Eye's fur for a week!
(Bill and Fagin run off)
Dodger: (looks after then and nonchalantly slurps coffee)
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The Interrogation Scene
Bill: (taunts policeman)
Policeman: When I'm finished with you I'll make sure you're written out of the history books!
Bill: That's fine by me.
Policeman: Huh?
Bill: Cos I can't read!
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Nancy's Murder (Take Three)
Bill: (raises stick in the air preparing to strike Nancy)
(World is suddenly morphed into pixilated images)
Bill: (starts hitting Nancy comically)
Bet: (walks in) ENOUGH VIDEO GAMES YOU TWO!
Nancy & Bill: AWWWWW! We love Gory Murder IV!
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Oliver Walking To London (Take Two)
Oliver: (falls to the ground, exhausted) (glances up and sees a Subway sandwhich) (reaches out, grabs it) (takes a bite) BLEEEH! (pause) NO MAYO?
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At Fang's Court (from 2005 movie)
Brownlow: Dam* me Dam* me!
Fang: That's right! Dam* you!
Brownlow: This is preposterous!
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At The Undertakers (Take Four)
Oliver: (walks along in front of coffin) Phew, it feels a bit hot! (glances up to see stick on fire)
Noah: Don't need to see 'im 'ung now!
Oliver: (trips and lands on Noah)
(Noah spontaneously combusts)
-
Oliver Arrives In London
Oliver: (passes blue billboard: 'Food, Shelter, Theft; Check In Here') Okay…
Ticket Booth Guy: 'Ey up old mucker me lad!
Oliver: (squeals in terror and runs away)
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Oliver Meets Fagin (Take Three)
Dodger: Here he is Fagin! My new friend, Oliver Twist!
(eerie smoke and lighting effects)
(Eye of The Tiger starts playing)
Fagin: (emerges dramatically)
-
Enter Bill Sykes
Bill: OK, who sat on my hat?
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Consider Yourself (Take Two)
Dodger: (singing) Consider yourself one of the family!
Oliver: Really?
Dodger: No. This is just a song to fill time so the techies can do a scene change.
Oliver: Oh.
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A/N: The events depicted in this chapter are courtesy of my bored little brother (except the last one). XD
