Chapter 4
"Are you alright?" Garrus asked softly.
Tali nodded slightly as she stood in silence. Truth be told, she couldn't tell if she was alright or not. Her whole being was numb, unmoving. It almost seemed impossible to feel anything at all. But she let Garrus remain in blissful ignorance, although it seemed unlikely that he was fooled by her barefaced lies.
The two of them were standing alone in the middle of a deserted landing zone in the heart of London, simply waiting. A subtle, yet utterly unmistakeable hum of an engine was present in the cool, still air, and the sound bore an undeniable resemblance to the sound of the engines of a vessel that she had become very familiar with over the past couple of years. It truly was a remarkable ship, the Normandy; a marvel of modern engineering. Its movements simply looked effortless as it continued its descent down towards their location. But it takes a first-class pilot to command a first-class vessel, and as Joker himself would be the first to acknowledge, the Normandy boasts perhaps the best pilot there is.
The Normandy settled to a hovering stop at a height of about a dozen meters over the landing zone before it began to open the hanger bay hatch. It took a moment for the hatch to fully open, allowing Tali and Garrus to carefully position themselves underneath the Normandy in preparation to hop aboard as soon as they were able. The two of them stepped onto the hatch when it got low enough, and no more than a couple of seconds later, the hatch was beginning to close once again. Tali was beginning to wonder how Joker knew when to close the hatch, but she soon realized that she was perhaps giving him too much credit. Standing about ten meters in front of them, in the middle of the Normandy's shuttle bay, was none other that Liara.
"Garrus. Tali." Liara said as they approached. "It is good to see you two again."
"Liara!" Garrus exclaimed. "I wasn't expecting to see you here."
"Yes, Joker let me know what was going on and asked if I would like to join, and I found myself unable to refuse." Liara explained. "You look well, Tali. I hope the past couple of days haven't been too hard on you."
"No harder than expected." Tali replied vaguely.
"I'm not sure whether to feel relieved or concerned." Liara replied hesitantly.
"Err, perhaps it's best not to ask." Garrus replied. "It has been a strange week."
"As it has been for us all." Liara said. "Come on, the others are waiting for us."
"Others?" Tali asked, genuinely surprised. "Joker invited more?"
"Of course." Liara replied simply. "I'll let you see for yourself. Follow me, they're waiting."
With that, Liara spun around and headed towards the elevator in the shuttle bay, with Garrus and Tali right behind her. They rode it up to the third floor in silence, where Liara led them out and into the mess hall.
The staggering number of people gathered there truly surprised Tali. Most of the former squad and many of the Normandy's crew members now occupied the space in front of her. Kaidan, James and Jacob occupied the table in the mess hall and were playing a friendly game of poker. A small group of people, including the likes of Dr. Chakwas and Engineer Adams, surrounded the table and were watching and quietly talking to each other. Others still, such as Miranda, took solace in solitude, away from the crowded mess hall table.
Liara smiled lightly at them before she began to walk over to the others. Some of them had noticed Tali and Garrus' arrival, and were beckoning them over. Tali nodded awkwardly at them before turning to Garrus and saying quietly, "You go on ahead. I'll catch up later."
Garrus gave her a very knowing glance, to which Tali simply shrugged off and urged, "Just go, I'm fine."
Tali spun around and left the others to cast questioning looks at her back as she disappeared around the corner and back into the elevator. She wasn't sure if Joker had gathered up everyone simply for her benefit or if he thought that they could help with the search, but regardless, this unexpected squad reunion was the last thing that she wanted right now. It certainly was good to see them in good health, but their presence simply made her Shepard's absence even more noticeable.
Tali rode the elevator up to the top floor where she stepped out into a bedroom that had, on more than a few occasions, been her own. But that had been back during a happier time, and she had no intention of staying any longer than she had to this time around. In truth, she was not quite sure where this sudden inspiration came from. She was trying to tell herself that it she was simply taking a step towards moving on, but that wasn't true at all. She was no closer to moving on now that she had been the moment she watched Shepard make his charge towards the beam. The real reason eluded her. It simply felt like the right thing to do.
Tali crossed the room and came to a stop in front of the nightstand next to the bed. The picture of herself was still resting on top of it, untarnished; as if nothing had happened. The callous sting of longing swept through her as she stared into this cursed mirror of herself – a reminder of the perfection she had taken for granted. She had half a mind to pick it up and fling it across the room but she held back, for even in her emotionally depraved state, she knew that this memento of trust meant more to her than she realized.
Instead, Tali reached out and carefully pushed it aside a little bit to make some room. She then reached into her pocket and brought out the stone from Rannoch that she had been carrying around. She laid it to rest on the table and gave a light sigh, feeling as though a great burden had been relieved of her.
"Keelah se'lai." Tali muttered appropriately, finding it hard to think of anything else to say. Perhaps ironic, however, as she was intentionally leaving a piece of the Homeworld behind.
With no further reason to stay and many to leave, Tali turned her back on the makeshift monument and crossed the room with nary a backward glance. She let the elevator doors close swiftly behind her before she turned around. And though the doors did indeed break her line of sight, it was unable to completely sever the ties that bound her to that aspect of her past life.
Tali quickly selected her destination on the elevator keypad, attempting to shrug off the lingering thoughts that were crawling through her mind. Instead of traveling back down to the third floor, as she probably should have done, Tali only went down one floor and got off on the second. The Combat Information Center was at an obvious loss for activity, Tali noticed as soon as she stepped out of the elevator. As the ship was no longer needed for battle purposes, much of the devices and control panels in this area of the ship became redundant and were no longer in use at this time. Only a couple crew members were scattered across the room, casually working on their monitors, as Tali made her way to the bridge of the Normandy.
"Hey, Tali." Joker said quietly when Tali walked into the bridge. "I'm glad you came, there's something I wanted to tell you."
Tali was somewhat started by his greeting, mostly because Joker was seated in his chair with his back to her as she approached. Nonetheless, Tali shook it off and asked, "What is it?"
"I've been picking up a couple distress messages over the passed few hours." Joker stated impassively. "I don't want to say anything for certain, but I think that they came from Shepard's communicator."
"What?" Tali asked eagerly. Try as she did to repress her emotions for fear of being wrong once again, she could not help but feel her hopes soar at this piece of news from Joker. "Are you sure?"
"The signal has been so distorted, it is impossible to tell." Joker replied. "The communicator must have taken significant damage because even the communicator's signature is indistinguishable, let alone what is actually being said in the message."
"Then why do you think it is him?" Tali asked quietly.
"Call it a hunch." Joker said. "There are several similarities between this signal and the signal that Shepard's communicator gave out; enough to be worth a look."
"And the message can't be cleared up?" Tali asked.
"Maybe. If EDI were here..." Joker paused as his voice trailed off for a moment. "Well, I can't do it."
Tali felt a stab of pity as she realized she was not the only one here who had lost someone close, as EDI had also fallen with the destruction of the Reapers. She didn't know what to say (and gained a new appreciation for what Garrus and the others were putting with for her in the process), but fortunately, she would not have to. An incoming comm instantly filled the room, as the voice of a young woman said, "Come in, SSV Normandy." She sounded professional, probably an officer on an Alliance ship.
Looking out the window, Tali noticed that they were rapidly nearing the destroyed Citadel. As it turned out, they were not the only ones attempting to get in, as there were dozens of ships hovering in space around it, all probably talking to an Alliance official like they were now.
"We read you." Joker replied.
"These are orders direct from Alliance Command." The lady over the comm said. "Turn back. The Citadel is currently not accepting visitors."
"We are here to help." Joker said, which was only partially true.
"All the same, I must insist that you turn back." The lady urged.
"Can I ask why?" Joker asked, becoming slightly annoyed.
"Between the scavengers and hopeful survivors searching for loved ones, the Citadel is simply in no state to allow all these people to dock."
"Look, this is the Normandy, surely you have heard of this ship." Joker replied sharply.
"Of course I have." She answered.
"Then you would know how much this ship has already done for the galaxy and how much more it is willing to do." Joker shot back.
The lady paused for a moment. "Wait right there, Normandy. I will see what I can do."
As soon as he noticed that the comm had been disconnected, Joker muttered with a sigh, "The Alliance hardly has any ships left, and they waste them on this?" He made an unpleasant sound with his lips. "Anyway, you may want to go down with the others. I'm guessing this will take a while."
