A/N: Please, start reviewing, y'all!!! Oh, and I have nothing against housewives in Kansas that bake cookies.
Chapter Four
I wanted to do more than just kiss him, but Vaughn thought that we should just take things one thing at a time. I teased him and said he was starting to sound like a woman. I knew he was right, though.
"Syd, I love you, and I want to make love to you so badly, but tonight isn't right."
"Why?"I whimpered and gave him puppy dog eyes.
"First, you're hurt--"
"Oh, you must want to get down and dirty if sex requires healthy feet."
He laughed. "That's not it. Although, that does make an interesting visual in my head, Ms. Bristow."
"Oooh! I'm making you think!"
"That's not unusual,"he said with a wink. "Anyway, I also don't think tonight is right because..."
His voice began to trail off.
"What?"I asked concerned. Maybe something was wrong.
"I don't have any protection."
At first I thought he was joking, but it soon hit me that he was all too serious. "What?!"
"Well, I don't have any condoms and I don't think you have a safe enough job to get pregnant. I wouldn't want Anna or someone else to hurt you and the baby. It hurts me just to think of that. If you were hurt or killed, it would kill me..."
"Okay, you've thought too much about me getting pregnant!"
"I am your handler."
"And that means you should think about me becoming pregnant with your child?!"Something about this conversation was freaking me out.
"No, it means I shouldn't. It means that it's forbidden. I mean, I should never have fallen in love with you, Syd. I shouldn't have ever thought about us having a future or anything, but I did. I did because I want to have a future with you because I'm in love with you."
I sighed. What he was saying to me was so sweet and caring. He was really making it hard for me to be pissed off or annoyed or anything. At least, he was making it difficult for me to be annoyed with him. I knew it was something he couldn't really control. It wasn't his fault and I knew that. I needed someone to blame, though.
I started having tears form in my eyes. "Why couldn't our lives be simple? Why couldn't we have some nice house in the suburbs like every fucking family in America? Why couldn't we have normal jobs? Why do we have to be spies?" Tears began to flow down my face.
Vaughn raised a hand up to my face and wiped away a tear. "Because it's who we are, Syd."
"It's not who I want to be, Vaughn. I'd rather be some stupid housewife baking cookies in Kansas than not be able to have sex with the man I love whenever the Hell I want to."
"Cookies?"his eyes brightened at the thought of cookies. Men and food. That's one relationship I will never understand! I knew that he was just trying to make me smile and it really worked. "Syd, one day you may get your Kansas life."
"With you?"
"If that's what makes you happy."
I smiled and then I began to giggle. "Kansas isn't really my style."
"I feel the same way."
He kissed me again and we fell asleep in each other's arms. It wasn't sex, but it felt romantic and special...and that's all I really needed at that moment in time. I knew the time would come for our relationship to go beyond just little kisses and holding one another. Until then, I knew to just be happy with the way things were going.
Chapter Four
I wanted to do more than just kiss him, but Vaughn thought that we should just take things one thing at a time. I teased him and said he was starting to sound like a woman. I knew he was right, though.
"Syd, I love you, and I want to make love to you so badly, but tonight isn't right."
"Why?"I whimpered and gave him puppy dog eyes.
"First, you're hurt--"
"Oh, you must want to get down and dirty if sex requires healthy feet."
He laughed. "That's not it. Although, that does make an interesting visual in my head, Ms. Bristow."
"Oooh! I'm making you think!"
"That's not unusual,"he said with a wink. "Anyway, I also don't think tonight is right because..."
His voice began to trail off.
"What?"I asked concerned. Maybe something was wrong.
"I don't have any protection."
At first I thought he was joking, but it soon hit me that he was all too serious. "What?!"
"Well, I don't have any condoms and I don't think you have a safe enough job to get pregnant. I wouldn't want Anna or someone else to hurt you and the baby. It hurts me just to think of that. If you were hurt or killed, it would kill me..."
"Okay, you've thought too much about me getting pregnant!"
"I am your handler."
"And that means you should think about me becoming pregnant with your child?!"Something about this conversation was freaking me out.
"No, it means I shouldn't. It means that it's forbidden. I mean, I should never have fallen in love with you, Syd. I shouldn't have ever thought about us having a future or anything, but I did. I did because I want to have a future with you because I'm in love with you."
I sighed. What he was saying to me was so sweet and caring. He was really making it hard for me to be pissed off or annoyed or anything. At least, he was making it difficult for me to be annoyed with him. I knew it was something he couldn't really control. It wasn't his fault and I knew that. I needed someone to blame, though.
I started having tears form in my eyes. "Why couldn't our lives be simple? Why couldn't we have some nice house in the suburbs like every fucking family in America? Why couldn't we have normal jobs? Why do we have to be spies?" Tears began to flow down my face.
Vaughn raised a hand up to my face and wiped away a tear. "Because it's who we are, Syd."
"It's not who I want to be, Vaughn. I'd rather be some stupid housewife baking cookies in Kansas than not be able to have sex with the man I love whenever the Hell I want to."
"Cookies?"his eyes brightened at the thought of cookies. Men and food. That's one relationship I will never understand! I knew that he was just trying to make me smile and it really worked. "Syd, one day you may get your Kansas life."
"With you?"
"If that's what makes you happy."
I smiled and then I began to giggle. "Kansas isn't really my style."
"I feel the same way."
He kissed me again and we fell asleep in each other's arms. It wasn't sex, but it felt romantic and special...and that's all I really needed at that moment in time. I knew the time would come for our relationship to go beyond just little kisses and holding one another. Until then, I knew to just be happy with the way things were going.
