It had been two weeks since Janet and Eddie let go. Janet was exhausted, physically and mentally spent. Just getting off the sofa was a challenge. She was in her assumed position, laid out on her sofa, beer in one hand bowl of cheese puffs in the other pretending she was watching Paula Deen fry something. She was drifting off into a beer hazed sleep when she was jolted awake by a loud banging at her front door."Sam? What wrong?" Sam stood in her door way, with a tear stained face. A back pack over his shoulder and his one eyed walrus bear under his arm. "Janet... Mom... she told me...that..." He was panting, he ran from his house to Janet's."Sam calm down, its going to be ok. Get in here?" Janet put her arm around his shoulders and lead him to the sofa. Sam took a few deep breaths before he could go on."Mom, she told me that Gavin wasn't my father." Janet's stomach dropped, she had pulled away from Hannah these last few weeks, the idea of Eddie being Sam's father was just something she couldn't deal with. And now here it was on her door step."She has been lying to me, they all have my grandma, Gavin.""Sam, I am so sorry. Did she tell you who your dad was?" Janet braced herself. "Yes, its Nick." Janet wanted to cry, of course it was Nick it was always Nick

"I mean I always felt like he was my dad, but to hear it out loud. For it to be confirmed that my mom has been lying to me. I just didn't know what to do. So I came here. You're the only one Janet who always tell me like it is.""Sam, your mom loves you, and when you were born she was just a kid herself. She made bad decisions but she did the best she could.""Janet can I stay here tonight please?""Sam..""Please, I just need to think and mom and Nick want to talk...""Does your mom know you are here?""No, I just kinda snuck out.""SAM DANIELS! I bet she is scared to death! I am going to call her and let her know you are ok.""Wait Janet wait, can I stay?""Yes, Rockstar you can stay.""Hannah.""Janet, I cant talk right now. Sam... we told him the truth and he's gone.""I know Hannah, he's here." "Janet he is with you?" Relief flooded over Hannah, Sam was in a safe place "I'll come get him right now.""No Hannah, Sam he wants to stay here tonight... he needs to think and wants some space and I think he deserves at least that. So if its Ok with you..."Janet he was so upset, I wasn't expecting that. He is so mad at me for lying.""I know Hannah, I know... but he's a smart kid, smarter then any of us. Just give him some time to work it out in his head. Come by tomorrow around lunch time and you guys can talk in a neutral place ok.""Janet..."Hannah's voice cracked "Have I ever told you that your are the best?" Janet chuckled. "Yes, a few times but it never hurts to hear it."***Eddie was lost, truly lost. There was no where he could go to escape Janet. She was everywhere. In his bed, his bathtub, the kitchen table, his truck. He couldn't bare to go to Sully's or any of the places they would go together. Every road lead back to her. When his phone rang and her saw JEM on his screen it thought he was seeing things. Like a thirsty man in the desert seeing water. "Janet?" His voice was shaky and his heart was racing"Hey Eddie, are you ok? Sam is here, he just found out about Nick.""I'm ok Janet, I mean for a moment I wasn't but then I realized that I have no business being anyones dad, and I am not ever sure if I ever will. Nick and Hannah, that's meant to be. I am happy for them.""Ok, good. I just... wanted to make sure...""How is Sam?""Not so good, he is confused and hurt and scared and angry. All the lies... everyone he trusted. it's a lot for an 11 year old. He's sleeping now..""He's still at your place?""Yeah, he is staying the night.""See Janet. I was right. When something bad happens your the person people go too."Janet thought for a moment "Yeah, I guess... But who do I go to Eddie?""Janet...""Forget it Eddie, Goodnight.""Janet. I love you…" He held his breath waiting for her response. "I love you too."***Hearing Janet's voice even over the phone made Eddie miss her so much more. He started going back to Sully's again trying to run into her. But by his 4th visit he finally but the bullet."Sully, come here for a minute.""What can I do you for Eddie?""I know I should be asking you this, I know that you are protective of Janet but would you make an exception and please give me her schedule. I really need to see her."Sully look at Eddie like he had three heads. "Eddie, have you been living under a rock? Janet quit last week." "What?" Eddie was shocked beyond shocked actually. "She loves it here Sul, she just quit.""Yup, she has been so... sad lately…"That word pierced right through his heart. "She came in one night, and told me she couldn't be here anymore. She felt bad but I understood.""Did she say if she got another job?""Nope, no one has so much as called for a reference. What ever you did Eddie, it was a game changer." ***Eddie was haunted by Sully's words "What ever you did Eddie, it was a game changer." Repeated over and over in his head. He had enough. He needed to see Janet and try to make it right. He pulled into her drive way, her lights were on and the charger was parked."Uh, Rory...Um can I speak to Janet?" Eddie was surprised when Rory opened the door to Janet's house in her pajamas. "Eddie, she's not here.""Oh," It was just after nine, he couldn't imagine where she could be. Was she on a date or maybe she got a new job at the Johnson Inn?" Well do you mind if I wait until she gets back. I really need to talk to her" Rory's smiled dropped."Eddie, she is in NY. I am house sitting for her. She won't be back for a few more days." Eddie felt like he got slapped across the face. "She's in NY with Brett?""Eddie, I don't want to get in the middle...""No you're right I'm sorry, Listen DON'T tell her I came by ok?""Ok Eddie if that what you want."***"Brett, This has been a great week, just what I needed thank you." The sat in the airport bar waiting for Janet's plane to be called. "And I hope I made up for my birthday…" Janet winked at him. "Hell yeah, you did... J I kinda like having you around. You should..." Brett stopped, not really knowing what he wanted to say. "You should think about moving here for real. I know you and Rory have been talking about it but...I would like to have you around more..." Janet smiled at him "I mean I am not saying you know move here for me. But I think it would be good for you. To get away from the god forsaken ridge." "Oh cause for a second there I thought you were asking me. Well you know " Janet smirked. "cause I kinda like what we have going right now Brett its always worked for us. You do your thing I do mine and sometimes we do it together. " Brett laughed. "See J this is why I keep you around you get me. But seriously I know things here are expensive. But I can call in a favor or two and find you a great place and a job. You would be happy here. ""Brett can I tell you a secret." He nodded. "I have money""What do you mean you have money?""Well my mom and both my grandparents had life insurance policy's. I have never touched a cent. I always felt I don't know… guilty living off death money. So I worked… But I think I have got to get over it you know.""How much money are we talking J? I am in finance for Christ's sake I could have invested it for you. ""I have it invested for almost 10 years it's just under $350,000."

Brett was floored "You have got to be fucking kidding me J! You are full of surprises aren't you. Working at Sully's all those years."

"Sully's was my home, my family."

"So then you will think about it. Moving here?"Janet smiled at him sipping her drink"Yeah I'll think about it."

Hannah walked into Best Friend Windows with a mission.

"Hey Hannah, what goes on?" Nick asked happy to see her. The last few weeks had been hard on them but they were coming out the other side and Sam had started calling Nick dad.

"Hey Nick. Actually I am here to see Eddie."

"Me?" Eddie said with a mouth full of a meatball sub.

"Yeah you have a few minutes… It about Janet."

"Janet?" Eddie wiped off his mouth and stood up "Is she ok?"

"That's the thing, I don't think she is and I don't know what to do."

"Spill it Hannah."

"Well, you know she went to NY right." Eddie nodded, trying not to think about it "Well she came back and she was… well she was happy and I thought Janet was coming back to me you know. Our Janet. I have really missed her. Then two weeks ago Sam said that he and Doodie were skateboarding in the town square and they saw Janet coming out of the doctors office crying."

"She was crying?" Eddie tried to swallow the growing lump in his throat.

"Yeah, so I called her and she said she had the flu but Eddie I knew she was lying and then nothing radio silence. I called, I went over there. I even called Rory and she said its been a week since she spoke to Janet and her calls were unreturned too." Hannah's voice was strained "What if there is something wrong with our girl Eddie. I just an so confused. And she has totally shut me out." Eddie's mind was reeling, What of something is wrong with our girl. But he knew she wasn't really his anymore.

"Hannah, Did you call Brett, or maybe I can talk to O?"

"Are you kidding Eddie, Brett and Janet aren't like that. They are not together they just… you know… it's a friends with benefits thing. If something is going on she is not going to turn to Brett."

"I don't think she wants to see me Hannah."

"Eddie, I think you are probably the only person she would want to see if something was wrong." Nick chimed in "She is just to stubborn to ask."

Eddie had a flash of something Janet had said to him But who do I go to Eddie?

Eddie pulled up to Janet's house, he knocked on her door and rang the bell but there was no answer. He pulled the key ring out of his pocket. She had given it to him the morning Rory came and their world exploded. He had never used the key until tonight. He walked thru her house and it felt so familiar but to strange. Thing were different out of place. It wasn't a mess, but for Janet who liked a kept organized house things were very much amiss. He walked in to her room and Janet was curled up in the middle her bed, in one of his old flannels, asleep. She looked so tortured, her face was tear stained and her cheeks were puffy. He wanted to badly to lie next to her.

"Janet." He said softly as he gently rubbed her shoulder. "Janet, wake up."

"Eddie." Her voice was like a whisper. "Mmmm, Eddie." She curled her body up tighter.

"Jem, wake up." He nudged her once more and Janet opened her eyes. She smiled at him briefly and then when she realized that he was not a dream but standing in her bedroom she shot up in her bed.

"Eddie how did you get in here?"

"Uh… I used my key."

"Eddie, just go ok."

"Janet, we are worried about you, Hannah is losing her mind."

"I told Hannah I am fine. And you should not have just let yourself in here." Janet felt so naked, exposed in her bed wrapped in Eddies flannel. She didn't want him to see her like this.

"Janet, what is going on. You look so sad and your place for you is a mess and you shut out Hannah and Sam, Rory Pizza Girl they are all worried about you."

"So they sent you in to what fix me?" Janet laughed. "Just Get out Eddie. In fact there is a box of your shit in my broom closet, take it with you an leave MY key on the counter." Janet curled back on her bed and pulled the blanket dismissing him.

"Janet?" Eddie pleaded.

"EDDIE JUST GET YOUR SHIT AND GO!"

Eddie turned and walked toward the kitchen, he found the box and placed the key on her counter like he was asked. On his way out he saw the garbage bag that needed to be taken out. It lifted it out of the can and as he tied it something inside caught his eye.

"Janet, Janet don't ignore me. What is this?"

Janet turned around and looked at what Eddie was holding. She felt sick.

"Eddie, that is none of your business… " Eddie gave her a look letting her know that was not an acceptable answer "Ok Eddie its prenatal vitamins and What to Expect When You Are Expecting. Happy now." Janet had tears in her eye. Eddie swallowed before he spoke.

"Janet are you…" His world was spinning out of control.

"No, not anymore."

"Anymore?"

"I was, and four days ago I had a miscarriage." Eddie was stunned and his heart was breaking more with each word.

"Janet, was it mine…"

"Yes, of course it was… that night… that amazing night… we made a baby…" Janet's voice was raw " I didn't know… until two weeks ago… I have been drinking so much and I haven't been eating… I went to NY and I flew… The doctor says that it happens and that it probably would have happened regardless. She gave me all this statistics… but Eddie if I would have known… I would have done things so differently." She was sobbing now, deep sobs, that rattled her entire body. Eddie Sat beside her on the bed and wrapped his arms around her.

"Why didn't you tell me or Hannah."

"I just couldn't, I don't know I just didn't want another awful thing to happen and if you didn't know it wasn't really… real…" He held her tighter, wishing that things could be different that he could go back in time to that day in the shop when Rory was standing in front of him and Janet called. He wished her would tell her that Rory was there and that he was coming in for lunch and most of all he wished he would have said I love you. If he had just said those three words everything would have been different.

"Come on Janet, let's just lay down and try and get some rest ok."

"Eddie you don't.."

"Stop Janet, just stop. I need to be here as much and you need me here. Please let me just hold you ok?"

They curled up together. Janet's back to Eddie's front. His one arm under her neck the other locked tightly around her waist. It felt so good to be in his arms again, safe. His breath on the back of her neck, her cold feet tucked between his warm calves. Her fingers linked with is. It was as close to peace that Janet had been for a very long time. They drifted off to sleep and for a little while they could forget.

Janet walked up to 32 Gelson, the air was cold and the snow covered ground made everything feel fresh. It had been weeks since she had last seen Eddie and what she had to tell him need to be said face to face. She owed him at least that. She knocked on the door and Phil flung it open "JANET!" He grabbed her in to a bear hug. "God I have missed you!"

"I have miss you to Phil, God it had been… a while… I am sorry I haven't…"

"I get it Janet, shut it… Limits where we can hang out you know. Want to come in?"

"Uh, no that's ok could you just get Eddie for me."

"Sure he's upstairs, are you sure you don't just want to go up." Janet just shook her head no. She couldn't stomach the idea of being in his room.

"Hey Janet." Eddie said as he pulled on his old, lambs wool collared jacket. "Shit is cold out here, are you sure you don't want to come in?"

"No this will just take a second." Eddie was nervous, he didn't know what Janet was going to say, They hadn't spoken since that night he held her.

"Ok, is everything ok?"

"Yeah, actually everything is great actually. I wanted to let you know before you heard from someone else…" Eddie braced himself " I am moving to NY, actually Rory and I we got an apartment."

"What?" Janet was leaving the Ridge. How could this be happening.

"Yeah, I need to get away from here and start over…"

"With Brett?"

"Brett is part of it, it's so easy with him Eddie, I know where I stand I know what to expect." Eddie gritted his teeth, holding back what he really wanted to say.

"What about your house?"

"Well, I am just going to close it up, Ray said he would keep an eye out for it and keep the grass cut and stuff. I can't sell it, it's the only home I have ever known and its paid off."

"When are you leaving?"

"Saturday, Sully is going to have a little send off in the morning before we leave. I hope… I hope you will come to say goodbye."

"Of course I will be there Janet… To say goodbye." Eddie felt like he had just been punched in the gut, unable to breathe.

"Ok, then I will see you then. Bye Eddie."

It was late Friday night and Janet was packing the last minute things she was going to need, their place came furnished. Brett did pull in some favors and found them a great place in walking distance to his. She wanted pictures mostly, the blanket her grandmother made her, a few books and she was good to go. She was just about to turn in for the night when she heard his tires hit the gravel.

"Janet. I know I said that I would say goodbye tomorrow but I need to talk to you before you leave. Can I please come in?"

"Eddie, it's late…"

"Janet, please…"

"Sure, of course, come in."

"I have been doing a lot of thinking lately. All I really can do is think. About everything I did wrong, all the things I should have said but didn't. And I don't want to look back on this night and feel like I didn't say what needed to be said." He took Janet's hand and lead her to the sofa. " Do remember the first time me met?" Janet smiled and nodded. "It was the summer between Junior and Senior year. I mean you had started in the middle of junior year, and I saw you in the hall and stuff. But it was that Saturday when Hannah brought you into Murph's and introduced you to the gang."

"I remember. That morning at the park Hannah and I bonded over Fleetwood Mac and Nina Simone and she decided that we were going to be friends. She waived her magic wand and made it so"

"You sat in the booth, you were so shy, so quiet. And I remember thinking how pretty you were. Like a flower… a daisy. So simple. Ikey was trying to impress you making jokes and you said something that made him look stupid. And we all laughed. You didn't mean to, but you were snarky even then. You blushed hot pink and then went back to saying nothing. If I could go back to that day Janet… I would tell you how beautiful you were, and how special and perfect you were. I would tell you that you were enough." Janet shook her head no, trying to hold back tears. "Janet you are enough. I would have kissed you and made you mine then. I would have saved you from Brett and Matt and this version of myself. And we would have been the couple who met in high school and made it last a life time. We would be married now and have kids making us crazy. Everything would have been different." Janet wrapped her arms around him and allowed the tears to flow. "I know I have to let you go Jem, I know I do… but" Eddie's voice cracked "but that I am going to hold on to. You in that booth and me watching you. I think I even loved you then. So you go and you be who you are suppose to be, and I'll just hold on to that one part of you ok."

"Eddie, oh God. Eddie." She held on to him tighter. "I want you to find some one who makes you happy, someone who knows your more then just something to experience. Someone who deserves you. Who gets you, who won't try to change you. Someone who could give you what I never would or could."

"Janet you gave me everything I needed, I just didn't realize it until it was to late." She brushed the tears from his cheeks. " I'm not going to stop loving you Jem. No matter who or what comes next."

"Either will I Eddie."

Rory and Janet pulled up to Sully's the next morning, car packed ready to go.

"You ready for this J?" Rory put her hand on Janet's shoulders and pushed her through the front door. Everyone was there, Hannah and Nick, Sam, Owen and Allison, Pizza Girl, Aubrey and Ronnie, Sully, Karen, and of course Eddie. Janet didn't think she was capable of shedding another tear but as she said her good bys they flowed. They joked about her becoming a Yankee fan and eating nothing but bagels and hot dogs, They told stupid stories and laughed together. Everyone realized that Eddie and Janet wanted a few minutes alone. So they said their final goodbyes, and left. She wrapped her arms around his neck and clung to her waist.

"I hope you find what you are looking for Jem."

"Me too. I miss you already." Eddie kissed her softly. "Ok, bye Eddie."

"Bye Janet." Eddie whispered

She turned to leave, when Rooster stormed into room. "Oh good, you're still here!"

"Rooster, I told you not to come." Sully growled

"I have to talk to Janet before she leaves."

"Rooster I really have nothing to say to you, except good bye."

'Janet please, just wait you have been my only friend all these years."

"Really you have a shitty way of being a friend, a friend wouldn't have had sex with me while I was DRUNK and HEARTBROKEN. A friend would put me to bed with some Advil and a glass of water. As far as I am concerned I hope I never see you again" She turned away from him walking towards the door.

"Janet wait!" Rooster yelled out.

"Russo, for Christ sake let her go." Sully was livid.

"We never had SEX!"

"What?" Eddie growled

"What did you say?" Janet spun around.

"We never had sex Janet. We were kissing and naked but before we… you started to cry and you said that you didn't want me…" Rooster sounded so broken "You said you wanted him." He pointed to Eddie who was standing there is total shock the anger building in him " And then you passed out. I stayed, and the next morning, you woke up and just stared at the ceiling and I let you assume… because I was angry…"

"You were angry! Rooster your lie ruined my entire life. I lost the one person, who ever…I lost a baby, I gave up my job my home because your feelings were hurt. You son of a bitch… I hope you rot in hell." Janet turned around again trying to get out of this place that has caused her so much pain.

"Janet wait, don't go." Eddie called out to her.

"This changes nothing Eddie. Nothing…" She ran to him and kissed him one last time before running out of Sully's with Rory trailing behind her. Eddie stood there, empty, aching, angry. He turned around, punched Rooster right in the jaw knocking him to the ground. "Russo, if I were you I would stay as far away from me as possible and Sully as long as he works here you won't see me.

"That's easy Eddie, Rooster you're fired."

"J are you OK?" Rory was worried.

"Yeah, just drive supermodel, I can't wait to see the Ridge in my rear view mirror." Janet said as brushed away a final tear.