Ana is staring at Christian deciding whether she should take the leap. She feels like it's one of those moments in a silly sitcom where there is an angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other. Before Ana can decide whether she wants to kiss him she comes to a realization which causes her to pull away.
"No."
"No?" Christian replies confused.
"No. I see what's going on here. You know I've had a few drinks, chat me up and oh so innocently one thing leads to another, right? I don't think so, Grey."
"Ana –"
"Save it Grey. I can't believe I almost fell for this." Ana gets up.
"Ana, stop. Where are you going? What just happened? You think I manipulated you to get in your panties or something?"
"Yes, don't play dumb, Grey. I think you should leave."
Christian runs his hands through his hair, frustrated and baffled about how a great show and great night completely went downhill. "I feel like I'm in some bizarro world. I don't know what just happened but I was having a really good time tonight. You think this was all some ruse to get you into bed? Ana, I don't even know what to say to that. That's ridiculous. I don't know how we just went from having a nice time to you freaking out. Someone must have really don't a number on you," Christian says now raising his voice, clearly annoyed.
"You have some nerve, Grey."
"I'm just calling it how I see it. I'm tired of you dumping on me when I think I've been pretty good to you. I have no ulterior motives here. I enjoy your company and enjoyed getting to know you more tonight. If you can't see that and are going to think that every time I am nice to you that I'm manipulating you then yes I guess I better leave." Christian picks up his phone and calls Taylor. "Taylor, can you please come pick me up at Miss Steele's place."
"How does Taylor know where I live?"
"Taylor knows everything."
"That's creepy."
"Don't change the subject, Ana. You know I'm right."
Ana stares at Christian for a minute and puts her head in her hands. "Christian, just leave."
"Good night, Ana."
Christian goes down to the lobby of Ana's building to wait for Taylor and tries to figure out what went wrong. The only conclusion he can come to is that Ana must have had some really bad break up to do a complete 180 on him like that. He really had a great time with her tonight. And he was ready to kiss her and she was definitely thinking about kissing him before something switched on or off in her brain and caused her to flip out at him. Now Christian has to decide whether he should bother pursuing anything more with her because he isn't sure it's worth the drama. He knows it's going to be virtually impossible to stay away from her because he has to perform with her not to mention that he just can't seem to stay away from her. He feels this connection with her that he never has before and she's now agreed to write a song with him. Perhaps it would be better to just try to be friends. He just hopes it won't be too awkward the next time he sees her.
Meanwhile, Ana goes into her room to go to bed because after what just happened she knows she's had too much to drink and is overtired. She feels guilty for again letting her past get the better of her and taking it out on Christian. She stares at her phone wondering if he will text her but knowing that he won't. She feels like she just put the nail in the coffin of any chance at something happening with him. She wants to kiss him but she's so scared. She can't go back to being that girl who lets guys walk all over her because she is too blind to see them for what they are. She doesn't think Christian is like the other guys but then again she didn't think any of her exes were bad guys either. She puts her phone away and resolves that she will deal with this tomorrow once she's had some rest and is thinking with a clearer head.
The next morning, after tossing and turning all night, Ana wakes with a horrible headache and she can't decide if it's because of the drinking or her fight with Christian. She checks her phone to see if he texted her and there are none but she of course has a text from Kate.
Kate: Annnnnnaaaaaaaaa. Eliott is amaaazzzzingggg. I think I'm in love . . . with his big dick. How was Christian's?
Ana wishes she never even looked at it thinking that the last thing she needed to wake up to was a comment about Christian's brother's penis. She also notices a text from her dad.
Dad: Annie, saw you on the Internet this morning. Interesting outfit choice. Call me when you get a chance and let me know how the show went.
Ana is surprised by her dad's text because she didn't expect that her performance would get any press but that's at the end of her list of things to worry about today. She's curious as to what people are saying about the show but she decides that first she needs a coffee, then a shower and then she will send a text apologizing to Christian. She knows she should do it in person and she decides that she will but first she will try to smooth things over in a text. Then she will deal with her dad and his complaints about her outfit.
She completes the first two tasks on her list and sits on her bed to text Christian contemplating what she should even write. After typing sorry and deciding that it's not enough she decides to just go with honesty.
"I'm sorry for my behavior last night. You deserve an in person apology which you will get but I just wanted you to know that I regret the way I acted. You're right. I have issues with guys based on a few bad relationships and I shouldn't project them onto you."
Ana hits send and waits. And waits. And waits. She cleans up her room a bit, deletes some old texts and photos from her phone and checks and still no response from Christian. Ana sighs and thinks that he really must be mad at her. She decides to text Kate.
"Glad you had your fun last night. Eliott seems like, well . . . you. I had another fight with Christian. I fucked up, Kate."
Her phone rings immediately after she hits send. Ana's heart skips a beat thinking it might be Christian but instead it's Kate.
"Hi, Kate."
"Ana, what happened? When I looked over it looked like you guys were having fun."
"We were. We had a great night. We left the bar and came back to my place, ate leftover Chinese food and talked for hours. I even agreed to write a song with him seeing we were getting along so well."
"So what happened?"
"He tried to kiss me."
"Christian tried to kiss you?" Kate shrieks.
"Did banana just say my brother tried to kiss her?" Ana hears a voice in the background which could only be Eliott.
"Kate, are you still with Eliott? And now he knows about this and now he's going to tell Christian. Ugh, Kate. You could have told me he was there."
"It's fine Ana. Eliott isn't going to say anything, right Eliott? And I'm leaving the bedroom now so you can talk freely. And I am fist pumping because I knew Grey wanted you. So what's the problem then?"
"I'm the problem, Kate. I told him no and then yelled at him because I turned him into Dave and Chris and Jamie."
"Oh, Ana. I'm sorry. I wish you could just block those guys out already. They were such jerks."
"I don't know what to do, Kate. I texted him that I was sorry but he's not responding. I feel horrible."
"So you like him then? You wanted to kiss him?"
"I don't know. I mean, yeah I think I did but it's like I couldn't even process that because I went right to thinking he was just trying to get me into bed with him."
"So go see him."
"Now?"
"Yes. Go. Apologize and then you kiss him."
"I don't think I can do that Kate."
"Why not Ana? Eliott said he's at his studio. Go down there and take the bull by the balls. Literally."
"Kateeee. Why does it always have to go there with you? Do you even know you sent me a text about Eliott's penis last night?"
"I did? Haha. Well I can't say I'm surprised. If you knew what he could do –"
"Ok Kate. I'm hanging up. Enjoy your day. Bye."
Ana thinks that conversation didn't exactly go as planned. She doesn't think she's ready just yet to see Christian. Especially if he doesn't want to talk to her which seems to be the case since he still hasn't responded to her text. She decides to just call her dad.
"Hello."
"Hi, dad."
"Annie! I wasn't expecting you to call this early."
"Oh. Are you in the middle of something? Do you want me to call back?"
"No, no. Definitely not. So how was the show? Did you get on stage ok?"
"Yes, dad. Thanks to you. I'm so happy we got to do our song."
"Great to hear Annie. And from what they are saying online this morning, I take it the show went very well."
"Really? So I've gotten good reviews then? I haven't looked yet."
"Annie, it's all been positive but the biggest news seems to be you and this Christian Grey."
"What do you mean?"
"It seems that you two are a couple. When were you going to tell your old man? I mean when he called me out of the blue to help you I suspected something was going on because how else would he know about our song. That's not something you would share with just anyone. But after seeing the articles and pictures this morning, it seems you two are quite taken with each other. I'm just surprised you hadn't mentioned you were seeing anyone."
"That's because we're not, Dad. Hold on a minute I need to grab my computer because I have no clue what you are talking about."
"Go on that TMZ website."
"Dad, is that where you are getting all this from? I told you not to go on the celebrity gossip sites. You can't believe everything you read online, Dad."
"I know that, Annie. But when I get a boy calling me from your phone, telling me that you need me to sing with you and that he will play the song what am I supposed to think? He was worried about you Annie. He cared. I could hear it in his voice."
Ana smiles at her dad's words and feels a warmness in her chest that she hasn't felt in a long time. She knows it's a crush and she doesn't even want to think about the last time she had one of those because she knows it will take her right back to what got her into trouble last night.
She finally pulls up the pictures her Dad is talking about and sees her and Christian smirking at each other. Then another with Christian and his arm around her smiling like he just won the lottery. Then another where their faces are so close it looks like they are ready to either rip each other's faces or clothes off. And then the headline: "GREY AND STEELE: COUNTRY MUSIC'S NEW POWER COUPLE?" Ana takes a deep breath. This is all becoming too much. Now she understands what everyone is saying about their chemistry. She just doesn't know why she is the only one who hasn't seen it until now. She wonders if she is so wrapped up in her past that she can't even see something special happening right in front of her. She realizes that she needs to talk to Christian and needs to shut down these rumors now. They aren't together and even if they were she doesn't want people thinking she is trying to forward her career by shacking up with one of the hottest acts in music.
"Dad, I need to go. I have to deal with this."
"Ok, Annie but don't think you are off the hook about that outfit."
"Kate made me wear it Daddy," Ana says in her sweetest voice. "And you should have seen what she wanted me to wear. Believe me if you did you'd be thrilled with what I was wearing."
"Don't think I would Annie. Let's tone it down next time. And give this Grey guy a chance. He seems like a good guy."
Ana thinks for a moment and then says, "Yeah, he is Daddy" and she means it but purposely doesn't respond to the former part of his comment. She is definitely not going there with her dad. "Love you, Daddy. And thanks again for everything. I can't wait to see you in a few weeks."
"Same here, Annie. Love you."
"Love you too, Dad. Bye."
Ana hangs up and lets out a breath that she feels like she's been holding all morning. She thinks to herself that her dad didn't go as hard on her as he normally would have. She thinks maybe he feels bad about not being there and she hopes that isn't the case. Ana is surprised that it seems he has already taken a liking to Christian even though he hasn't even met him. Thinking of Christian, Ana looks at her phone and sees that Christian still has not responded to her text so she decides that dealing with the media will have to wait because she wants to straighten things out with him first.
She decides to take the short walk from her condo to Christian's studio and when she arrives Taylor is sitting at the front desk.
"Hey Taylor, is Christian around?"
"Hello, Miss Steele. He's at his piano but I don't think he wants to be disturbed."
"Yeah well since that is likely my doing and I'm here to fix it do you think I can go back?"
"Be my guest but if he asks I tried to stop you."
Ana laughs. "You got it Taylor."
Ana walks over to the studio and the door is open but Christian doesn't see her coming. He's playing and singing and it's the same song that he was working on that first day they met. Ana's curiosity gets the better of her so she decides to listen for a moment. She finds the melody beautiful and she is only catching bits and pieces of the lyrics because Christian is singing so softly but she can't get over his voice. The song is still country but it's a softer sound than his others. And she feels a pang of jealously that anyone else will get to hear this voice of his. He starts singing a little more loudly and when Ana hears the lyrics the jealously she's feeling reaches a fever pitch but only because she feels like she's in the past again.
I'm hard to love, hard to love,
You say that you need me,
I don't deserve it but I love that you love me good.
Ana can't believe Christian is writing a song about another woman. She knows it can't be about her because he had started writing it before they met. But she can't imagine who it is. She's spent a lot of time with him and never even got the sense there was a woman in his life. But Ana can't help but think that it wouldn't be the first time she trusted someone to have it blow up in her face. She decides that she is not going down that road again and she is going to let Christian know it.
Ana walks into the studio and slams the door behind her. Christian looks up from his piano and his face transforms from peaceful to a mix of confusion and anger at being disturbed and by the woman who so quickly rejected him last night.
"What do you think you are doing here? And slamming the door? What the fuck, Ana?"
"What the fuck? That's what you have to say. I came here to apologize but obviously that's not happening. I can't believe you had me fooled. I'm so stupid. You are just like all the others. Just as I expected."
"What the hell are you rambling on about? Had you fooled? I'm starting to think you need professional help. You come crashing into my studio. Ranting and raving about God knows what after you rejected me last night, accused me of manipulating you and kicked me out. So you have two choices: you either explain yourself right now, fully, or you leave and leave me alone. I like you, Ana, but I don't like this. And I'm not going to be on the other end of your wrath anymore."
At this point Ana is steaming because she does not like to be told what to do nor does she like to be wrong and she's starting to feel like maybe she misread the situation about the song again. She just can't figure it out because the song does seem to be special to him and she can't figure out who the song could be about.
"What's with the song, Grey?" Ana asks while grinding her teeth.
"The song I was just playing?"
"Yes. It's clearly about a woman and I know it's not about me because you wrote it before you met me. So who are you pining over while at the same time trying to kiss me? Explain that, Grey and then tell me I don't have a right to come in here like I did."
Christian laughs. "That's why you are raving? Because you are jealous? Well that is unexpected, Miss Steele. You are a total contradiction, you know that? You reject me but then you are jealous because I'm singing about another woman. Well, Miss Steele, that song is private. You have now twice eavesdropped on me singing it and you think I owe you an explanation? Well, I don't. But I will inform you that the song is about my mother."
"Your mother?"
"Yes, my mother and no not in some weird incestual way if that's where you are going."
"But the lyrics . . . sounded . . . romantic."
"Well, there's a reason for that. Two, actually. First, no one wants to listen to a song about my mother. So if I have any chance of getting it on my next album it can't sound that way. And I am determined to get songs that I want on my next album. Second, it's private and the only people who will know it's for my mother are those who are present on Christmas Eve when I plan on singing it to her and now you because you have forced it out of me by constantly showing up when I sing it and constantly asking me questions about it."
"I'm sorry, Christian. I never intended to be this out of control but for some reason you seem to bring it out in me."
"Well, are you going to tell me why? I think I deserve to know. And I've now revealed something about me to you."
"You haven't revealed much. You just told me you are writing a song about your mother."
"Ana," Christian says with an equal sternness and exasperation.
"Ok, I will tell you. My original intention in coming here today was actually to apologize for my behavior last night and give you an explanation because obviously my text attempting to do so wasn't enough."
"What text? And you are right a text message apology is definitely not enough."
"Well if you read my text you would have seen that I apologized and also said that an in person apology was coming. I didn't plan on doing it today but here I am."
"I didn't see your text because I was too busy running damage control on the media about our apparent relationship and I was so worked up after that that I came right in here to play because I knew it would calm me down."
"Oh so you have seen TMZ?"
"Yes, and I'm sorry. I've been trying for weeks to prevent this from happening."
Ana now is hurt because she thinks Christian doesn't want to be seen connected to her. "What do you mean? Why? You worried about your womanizer reputation? Oh sorry to get in the way" she says sarcastically.
"Ana, here you go again. Stop accusing me of things. I knew as soon as I performed with you that people were going to think we were together. And I knew you wouldn't want people to think you were sleeping your way to the top. So I had Taylor getting out in front of it. Unfortunately, someone leaked pictures to TMZ and it was too good for them to sit on. I've already threatened a lawsuit because the photos were obtained illegally because cameras were not allowed at the show so they should be taken down soon but I imagine the damage is already done."
"How did you know that I would be concerned about that?" Ana asks shocked that Christian somehow knows her so well and seemingly knows more about her than she does.
"Well I feel like I've gotten to know you and you are strong and independent so I just had a hunch."
"And you tried to help me. Jesus, I just keep feeling like a jerk more and more. Thank you Christian and I can't tell you how sorry I am about . . . everything. The reason I have so many trust issues is that I've had a total of three relationships and each of them ended because these guys that I believed were good guys were not. They had me fooled and I felt like a fool because I should have seen it and I didn't. And now with you I feel like you are a good guy but I can't trust myself to make that decision. I don't want to be a fool again.
"What happened? How bad were they?"
"I mean when I look back on it now they were pretty shitty people and I know it could have been a lot worse. They weren't even long relationships. But I just question my judgment. The first guy was high school. We had our first date to the movies. We made out, he felt me up over my clothes a little bit which I was ok with. He wanted to continue and do more in the car afterwards but I told him I wasn't ready for that and he took me home. I mean I was sixteen and it was a first date. So I thought it was fine but then the next day at school he told everyone that he fucked me in the movie theatre. I got pissed and denied it and he retaliated by saying that I also gave him the worst head he's ever had. I was so embarrassed. No one really believed me and I had enough so I switched schools."
"Ok so that was pretty shitty but that's the kind of stuff that happens in high school all the time."
"I know but I had no friends after that. I didn't have many to begin with because I was pretty shy. I was just so sick of being talked about and looked at the way people looked at me so I just asked my dad to send me to a private school. Then in college I dated this guy for about two months. He wanted to take things to the next level and I told him I needed more time. He broke up with me right there. Next, I dated my drummer and caught him cheating after one month. So yeah, I have trust issues with guys. Can you see why now?"
"I mean yeah I guess I see where you are coming from but think of it this way. These guys were assholes and you found out they were assholes because you stood up for yourself and what you believed was right. You got rid of them before much damage was done. I can see why you may be skeptical of me but I haven't done anything to make you think I am an asshole have I?"
"Well, no, other than right assholey songs."
"But how have I treated you, Ana?"
"I know. You've been great. They were too in the beginning," Ana says sadly. She just feels so defeated and wishes she could overcome the past to give Christian a fair chance. She just doesn't know that she ever will.
Christian seeing her demeanor decides to change the tenor of the conversation. "Ok, fair enough, but I'm more than certain that you will stand your ground and tell me if I'm being an asshole."
Ana chuckles and feels a slight glimmer of hope that maybe Christian hasn't dismissed her totally. She decides to take a chance at finding out. "So after all of this are you telling me you want to date me, Grey?"
Christian face falls and seeing his reaction to her question Ana's does too, now somewhat panicked that she did ruin her chances with him. Christian tries to explain, "Listen, Ana. I have issues too. And there is a lot you don't know about me. Let's just see what happens ok. I do want to continue to spend time with you and get to know you but I don't want my every move scrutinized like I have some ulterior motive. I'm glad you talked to me because I have a better understanding about where you are coming from but we can't keep battling like this."
Ana starts to feels tears welling up behind her eyes and doesn't want to cry in front of Christian so she decides she needs to get out of there. "I know. You're right. Ok, Listen, I'm going to get going because I actually need to get to Kansas City for the next show and you probably do too. So we'll talk later ok?"
Christian sees she's upset and about to cry. He doesn't want to hurt her and he knows he is going to be with her because he can't stay away from her. She has a hold on him that he never expected and no matter how many times she comes at him he will always fight back. He feels, though, that he can't let her off the hook so easy or she's going to keep treating him like a punching bag of her old boyfriends. "Ana, wait. Stop. I'm just tired right now and need to kind of take everything in for a little bit. Believe me I want you. I want what we had last night before everything went to shit. So let's just focus on that and see where it goes. Please."
"Ok."
"Ok, really?"
"Yes." Ana feels a little bit better and in her mind she is secretly cheering that Christian said he wants her. Though she hopes that she didn't ruin her friendship or chances with Christian. "I really should go though."
"Ok." Ana turns to walk out and Christian calls to her, "Hey, Ana." Ana turns around with sadness still on her face. "See you later alligator." She smiles and thinks that maybe they will be ok.
"After while crocodile." Ana turns and smiles to herself. She decides she's going to fight for this. She's going to overcome her past, give Christian the benefit of the doubt and hope that this time she's not the fool.
