"So then, what age should we expect this time?" David asked as Emma shut the car door behind her.
"My magic finger has chosen fourteen." She said mystically. Snow gave a fake gasp of horror from the passenger seat.
"A pubescent Emma Swan? Lord help us all!" She teased. Emma couldn't help but go red.
"Mom!" She moaned. Snow simply rolled her eyes.
"Oh come on Emma, act your age! Aren't you going to have fun telling Henry the birds and the bees…"
"La la la la la! I can't hear you! Besides, I'll be leaving that mothering joy to Regina."
"I thought you said you couldn't hear me?" Snow asked, raising her eyebrow. Emma huffed down in her seat, defeated.
"I'm just interested to see if Rumple's theory is correct." She said, hoping to change the subject.
"Oh, this is the first I've heard of this. What theory would this be?" David asked from behind the wheel. Emma half smirked in her little victory.
"Well, he thinks that now that I've done this a few times, the memories should start to merge. Like, when I'm my younger self, it'll feel like I've always grown up with you guys. I'll know everything that I should have known since birth. Obviously I still won't know who Henry is, and I'll probably still have a healthy fear of Regina so best to keep me away all the same." Snow and David felt a burst of excitement. Yes, they would know that they hadn't got to spend Emma's whole childhood with her, but she wouldn't. It was a step closer to being real parents.
"Right, here we go." Emma said, as she focused on the clock once again. The familiar light surrounded Emma, and when it vanished Snow's heart turned to ice. Emma was very pale, and blood was slowly seeping through her top at the wrist. Emma barely at time to look at her wrist when she collapsed in a heap on the floor.
"Emma!" Both her parents shouted running to her side. Snow knew they had to act fast, she was losing a lot of blood, and it suddenly clicked with Snow that this must have been when Emma had tried to properly cut herself.
"David, we need to be quick here, there's no time to panic. Get her to the couch, and then run and get Doc, quickly!" She told him. He instantly picked up Emma's limp body and carried her over to the sofa, where Snow was waiting to sit at the head.
"Doc? Don't you want me to get Whale?" David asked, doing the exact opposite of what Snow said and panicking. Snow pulled off her cardigan and used the sleeve to put pressure on Emma's wrist as she raised it.
"If I wanted a drunk I'd ask for Whale! If I have to put my daughter's life in someone's hands it's going to be the hands of the person who helped bring her into the world. Now, go- get- Doc!" She commanded. David shot off without another word. Snow stroked Emma's forehead. Despite the fact she was out cold Snow could tell she was in pain.
"Stay with me, baby girl." She said, trying not to show her panic. It's going to be alright, mama's here."
In a matter of minutes, David came flying back into the room with Doc right behind him.
"Snow, I need you to move aside." He said firmly. Snow shook her head.
"No, I can't! She needs me; I promised her I wouldn't leave her again!" She cried, tears flowing down her face.
"I understand Snow, but I can't help her with you in the way. I need you to move to the other side of the room." When Snow showed no signs of moving, Doc nodded to David who picked Snow up under her arms and pulled her across to the other side of the room,
"Get off me! She needs me, I can't leave her!" She screamed, kicking out.
"Snow calm down! You think this is easy for me? I want to be there as well, but we need to let Doc help her." Snow didn't say anything else; she kept her eyes firmly fixed on Doc and Emma.
A few tense minutes later and Doc looked over to David and Snow.
"She's going to be alright." Both parents visibly relaxed. "She's coming too; do you two want to come over before I put her stitches in? You can explain what's going on, it might be a little painful." Snow and David didn't need told twice. They were over in an instant, as Emma was squinting in the light.
"Mama?" She whimpered. Snow nodded, and reached out to stroke her cheek. "Daddy?" David nodded as well and took her good hand. "What happened?" She asked groggily.
"That doesn't matter honey. What matters is that you're ok. Now, Doc's got to put some stitches in your wrist. I won't lie, it's going to hurt a little, but we're here, ok?" Snow told. Emma nodded, but her bottom lip quivered. Snow manoeuvred her so Emma's head was in her lap. Emma nodded to Doc, who brought out the equipment.
"Don't focus on that Emma," David told her.
"Here, focus on me. A gentle breeze, from Hushabye Mountain," David began. Emma winced in agony as the needle went in.
"Softly blows over lullaby bay," Snow joined in, hating seeing Emma in so much pain. They kept singing the song to her until Doc was done. Snow stroking through her hair as David wiped away every stray tear. They thanked Doc who left to go back to his brothers.
"You were so brave." Snow said proudly. Emma "pfft" at her.
"Hardly. But it was easier with you both here…" Emma went to sit up but her mother's hand gently but firmly set her back down.
"Where do you think you're going?" She asked, amazed Emma even tried to get up.
"I was just sitting up…" Emma said innocently.
"Well, think again. You've lost a lot of blood. Get used to the ceiling Emma, because you'll be seeing a lot of it this weekend." Emma rolled her eyes at her mom's antics.
"Fine, if it makes you happy I'll stay put, but I still don't see how sitting up will do any harm." Emma said huffily. Snow gave her a little poke in the shoulder.
"No need to be cheeky. You lost a lot of blood back there; I don't want you being sick over the couch." Snow teased.
"Well that makes me feel great! The reason I'm confined to boredom is so I don't puke up and mess everything up!" Emma said, rolling her eyes. Snow moved so she and Emma could have eye contact.
"Now you know that's not true," She told her, moving some hair from Emma's forehead. "I care about you beyond words, Emma. When I saw you back there, I've never been so frightened." She told her seriously. Snow went to stand up, but Emma caught her with her good hand.
"Where are you going?" She asked the fear clear in her voice.
"I'm just going to get you your duvet. Don't tell me you don't want to rest after all that! I'll be back in a second." Snow pointed to David on the other side of the couch. "You're dad's here anyway, he'll look after you." David smiled as he gently touched Emma's cheek.
"Always." Was all he had to say. Snow smiled at him as she got up to fetch Emma's duvet for her. Emma looked up at her dad and gave her best attempt at a smile. "How you feeling, kiddo?" He asked her. Emma gave a little laugh.
"Like a train has ran over my arm." She said honestly. David immediately scrambled around his pocket.
"That reminds me- Doc gave me some tablets for you to take. He says you can have two now and two in the morning." Just as he got them out of his pocket, Snow came back down and put the duvet over Emma, resuming her position sitting by Emma's head. David left for the kitchen and came back with a glass of water and Emma's two tablets. He gave the tablets to Emma and the glass to Snow. Emma gave her parents a curious look.
"It's going to be a bit tricky doing this one handed and lying down. You take the pills and I'll give you the water, deal?"
"I don't really have much choice, do I?" Emma said.
"Nope." Snow replied, gently tilted Emma's head upwards on the pillow so she could swallow easier. Emma took her tablets and settled back down on the couch. "There, that wasn't so bad, was it?" Snow asked Emma, smoothing out her daughter's hair. Emma simply stuck her tongue out at her mother, resulting in a chuckle from both parents.
"You settle down, princess. Those tablets should make you pretty drowsy." As if on cue, Emma gave a large yawn. David smiled and kissed Emma's head as her eyes began to close. Within a matter of seconds Emma was sound asleep. Snow pulled the covers around her and motioned to the hallway to David.
"What on earth happened?" He whispered as the door shut behind Snow. Snow gave a sad sigh.
"I think I know." She told him. "Do you remember I told you that her cutting got worse and she ended up in hospital?" David nodded, the pieces starting to fit together. "Well, this must be when it got worse. David leaned back against the wall.
"Not half Snow, she could have died." David suddenly went very pale. "Snow, our daughter could have died and we would have been none the wiser." David choked. "We would have just carried on with our lives and our baby would have been dead in the ground!" David ran his hands through his hair as Snow came up and pressed her hands against his chest.
"You don't think I've done all this 'what ifing'? The fact of the matter is that she's here, she's not dead and we can protect her now." Snow reached up and planted a kiss on his cheek.
"What do we tell her when she asks what happened?" He asked Snow.
"We tell her she had an accident, and that's all she needs to know. We finally don't have to see her hurt, thinking we abandoned her. We're not going to ruin that." David nodded in understanding.
A couple of hours later and Emma was still dozing on the sofa. Snow came through carrying a tray of Emma's favourite food- mac and cheese- to try and coax her into eating. Snow set the tray on the table and crouched down beside the sofa. She went to stroke Emma's cheek to try and wake her, and hissed at the heat coming from Emma's skin.
"David!" She called to her husband. He came rushing into the room, recognising the urgency in his wife's voice.
"What's wrong Snow?" He asked her. She frowned at him.
"Emma's burning up. Can you go get me a cold, damp cloth please?" She asked him.
"Of course, but is she alright? Do we need to get Doc again? Or should we just take her to the hospital?" he asked, clearly concerned. Snow shook her head.
"No, we can deal with this ourselves. Better bring a bucket too." She told him before he left the room.
"And her pyjamas!" she called after him.
David came back quickly with the three items and handed them to Snow. "
"Thanks, sweetheart." She said kissing his cheek. He nodded and crouched behind the sofa, stroking Emma's arm. Snow pressed the cool cloth against Emma's roasting forehead. Emma's eyes fluttered at the almost uncomfortable, yet soothing, feeling.
"Mom?" She croaked. Snow shushed her.
"It's alright Emma, we're both here." She whispered softly. Emma raised her own hand to her face to feel her own temperature.
"I don't feel so good." She whimpered.
"I know you don't, beautiful. Don't worry; we're going to help you feel better. Do you think you can sit up for me now? Don't get too excited, not for very long. I just want to see if you can eat something." Emma nodded and David went round and picked Emma up under the arms, gently and slowly pulling her up as Snow manoeuvred the pillows so they supported Emma. Emma blinked rapidly, waiting for the room to settle so there was just one of everything again. Snow put her hand on Emma's face and stroked her cheek with her thumb. "Ok?" She asked her. Emma nodded groggily. David moved to where Emma's back was and started rubbing circles on her back. Snow picked up the bowl and fork and held out a forkful to Emma. She wrinkled her nose at Snow and held out her good hand.
"Come on, I know I'm a bit sick, but I'm fairly sure I can feed myself…"
"Emma," Snow said warningly. "Just do as I'm asking, please?" Emma gave a heavy breath through her nose.
"Fine, but we never speak of this again, agreed?"
"Agreed." Both parents said together, sharing a smile. Emma managed to finish about half the bowl before declaring she was full and going back to sleep. Snow helped Emma change into a set of pyjamas before allowing her to settle down again.
Things went quite smoothly for about two hours… before Emma sat up very suddenly and started heaving. David just got the bucket under her in time. Snow was over instantly holding her hair back and rubbing her back. David reached out and patted her knee as the whole contents of Emma's lunch came back up. When she'd finished, she slumped back against her mom's
"Make it stop." She groaned. Snow and David shared a look before Snow wrapped her arms around her daughter's torso and rested her head on top of hers.
"If I could I would, sweetie. But I'm afraid I think you've got a little infection, and it's just going to have to work its way out of you, and being sick is the quickest way." Emma just groaned again in reply.
Emma was sick a fair amount of times over the next few hours. By nine o'clock she was in tears.
"This sucks!" She cried. David couldn't stand it. He went over to the couch and pulled Emma onto his lap.
"I know this is no fun," He told her, holding her close. "But we're right here. You'll be better real soon, ok?" Emma nodded into his chest and nuzzled in, falling back asleep. Both Snow and David relaxed when Emma fell back asleep. Snow sat on the couch beside them both and stroked through Emma's hair.
"Are you ok sleeping in Emma's room tonight? I don't want her to be sick and choke or anything so I'd rather I was with her." She asked him.
"Of course she can stay with you, but I'll sleep on the couch. That way I'm right next door if you need me." Snow patted his shoulder, the love he had for his family was just so beautiful to her. Emma woke up as her dad stood up with her to carry her through to his and Snow's room.
"S'going on?" she mumbled. Snow cupped Emma's still warm cheek in her hand.
"It's alright baby, your dad's just moving you through to our room. I want to stay with you tonight in case you need me." Emma mumbled something incoherent into her father's chest before shutting her eyes again.
When they got through to the room, David gently placed Emma on the bed and kissed both his girls goodnight.
"Call me if you need anything, anything at all." He told Snow. She kissed him back before replying.
"Don't worry, I will. Good night, my love." before crawling into the bed with Emma and snuggling right up to her. She wasn't sure if she imagined it or not, but she thought Emma's heart slowed ever so slightly and her muscles relaxed when Snow took her into her arms. Regardless, Snow felt better she was there and was able to fall asleep. She was asleep for about an hour when she awoke to Emma whimpering in pain.
"Emma?" Snow said, removing her arms from around Emma to gently roll her over onto her back so she could see her better. "What's wrong, honey?" She asked her reaching out to check her temperature. She was still hot, but not quite as much.
"My wrist," Emma sobbed. "It really, really hurts." Snow realised her pain meds must have worn off as she took Emma back into her arms.
"I know princess, I know. What can I do to help you?" Snow asked, feeling fairly useless- she knew Emma couldn't get medicine again until the morning.
"Can you sing to me again?" Emma asked her.
"Of course," Snow said as she started to play with Emma's hair. Snow began to sing Emma a lullaby from their land that her mother had sang to her, and she'd sang to Emma when she was pregnant. As she ended the song, she heard Emma's breathing had evened out. She tenderly kissed the top of Emma's head.
"Sweet dreams, my little angel."
Snow could feel the sunlight dancing around her eyelids. She wondered briefly why she had her arms wrapped tightly around someone smaller than her Charming and very warm until she remembered Emma. She carefully removed her arms from around and her and sneaked around the bed so she was facing Emma. Her mouth was twisted in pain. Snow ran her hand down her cheek; she could get her medicine now.
"Wake up, sleepy head." She cooed softly. Emma groaned as she stretched out, taking in the new day. "How are you feeling, baby?" Snow asked.
"Sore." Emma mumbled.
"Well, we can fix that now. You're due your next dose of painkillers. I'll go get them for you." Snow said, kissing Emma's sticky forehead.
Snow walked through the living room to the kitchen to find David sitting up on the couch.
"How's our girl?" He asked her.
"Better than yesterday, she was only sick three times during the night, but I think she should stay in bed today, give her a chance to rest up." Snow replied, grabbing the pills and another glass of water. Just then, both parents heard the bed creak and Emma groan. They hurriedly made their way back through to the bedroom to see Emma lying the wrong around on the bed and face down.
"I'm fine." She mumbled into the mattress." "I just got up too fast, that's all."
"What are we going to do with you?" David teased as he moved Emma back to the pillows and she took her pain meds.
"I just wanted to have a shower. I feel totally gross." She complained.
"Emma, you can hardly stand on your own two feet as you've just proven, and you think a shower's a good plan? I understand you feeling a bit icky, but I'll run you a bath, that's a lot safer…"
"Honest, I'll be fine in a shower. I hate baths; you're just sitting in your own filth."
"Well, how about we make a deal?" Snow tried to bargain. "You have your shower, and I'll sit in the bathroom in case you need me." Emma went bright red.
"But mom, you'll see me… you know…" Emma stuttered. Snow rolled her eyes.
"Ok, one: I gave birth to you; it's nothing I haven't seen before. Two: if it makes you feel better I won't look, I'm really not interested. The shower curtain's there so you can shower in peace. Three: you might find you need me anyway; it's not easy washing your hair one handed. Even if not for that I need to take the bandage off and put a new one on after anyway so I'm as well being close at hand. Sound like a fair deal?" Emma shrugged her shoulders.
"I suppose so, but please, just keep your eyes closed before I get in?"
"If you insist Emma." Snow sighed. "Come on, I'll give you a hand up to the bathroom, just in case you have a dizzy turn." Snow supported Emma up to the bathroom without much trouble and took off her old bandage.
"Looks pretty clean. Just be careful in the shower, we don't want it opening up again." Emma nodded and gave Snow a pointed look. "Right, right," Snow said covering her eyes. "I see nothing; feel free to release your inner nudist..."
"Mom!" Emma squeaked. Snow grinned, knowing she'd managed to wind Emma up just a little. Snow uncovered her eyes when she heard the curtain swish shut behind Emma. Emma stubbornly refused to ask her mom for help no matter how difficult she found it. Eventually she popped her head out of the curtain. "Ok, I'm ready to come out now." Snow nodded and recovered her eyes. Emma awkwardly dried herself off and got changed into a fresh pair of pyjamas before letting her mom know she was ready again.
"Is it safe to look? I won't spontaneously burst into flames at the sight of my daughter's naked flesh?" Snow joked. She felt Emma's towel smack into her face as Emma threw it at her.
"If you're just going to embarrass me, I'm as well changing the bandage myself…"
"Alright, no need to go in a huff, point taking." Snow said, gently grabbing hold of Emma's good arm and pulling her closer to her. She took hold of Emma's hand with her stitches and had a look to check it was still ok. When she was done, she pulled it to her mouth and kissed it.
"What are you doing?" Emma asked, clearly amused.
"My job as your mother and kissing it better, problem?" Snow asked her. Emma gave a little giggle.
"I guess not." Snow felt there like she'd never missed a second of Emma's childhood then. Like she'd tucked her in every night, sang every lullaby, kissed every cut. She just wished that were true, and that this wasn't the first booboo she'd had the chance to kiss better. She refused to show Emma her getting upset though, so instead focused on putting on the new bandage as gently as possible. When she was done, Snow supported Emma back downstairs. Snow was pleased with the fact that Emma was wobbling around a lot less. They were both surprised to find David setting up a TV in the bedroom.
"David what are you doing?" Snow asked, as she helped Emma back to bed.
"Well, I thought Emma might get a little bored in here with nothing to do so I set up some video games for us to play while you have a rest." David said.
"Oh yeah!" Emma exclaimed, sitting up in the bed. Snow flashed David a thankful smile as she left to go have a nap."
"I wouldn't get too excited just yet, princess. I'm pretty skilled at these and you are going down!" He challenged, sitting down on the other side of the bed. Emma made a scoffing noise.
"Oh yeah? We'll see about that, bring it." Emma replied, grabbing her controller.
Snow dozed happily on the couch, waking occasionally to shouts of victory from either David or Emma. Eventually, she checked the clock to see it was half six, and it might be a good idea to try and get Emma to eat one of her favourites again. This time, beans on toast (with barbecue sauce, she always did have odd taste). When it was ready, she brought it through.
"Who won then?" she asked she entered the room.
"Me," They both said at the same time. Before Snow could stop it, they were in a heated debate as to who had won their gaming spree.
"If you don't stop now I won't let you play video games anymore." Snow warned. They both shut up instantly. "Better," Snow said, passing the plate to Emma. "Here you go, sweetheart. You need something in your system. Emma looked at the food nervously.
"What if I throw up again?" She asked nervously. "I don't like it, it sucks." David wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close to him.
"You haven't been sick for hours Em, you'll be fine." He assured her, kissing her forehead. He picked one of the slices off the plate and held it beside her. Emma looked unsure but took it anyway and took a tentative bite. When she felt like it wasn't coming back up, she took another bite, and kept going until it was all eaten.
"See, it was worth the risk wasn't it?" David said, taking the plate off her and going to wash it.
"I'll leave you ladies to it tonight, goodnight girls. I'll see you in the morning."
"Just a second, Charming!" Snow said, rushing to catch him in the hallway.
"I'll stay with her until she falls asleep, but I'll have to leave her tonight for when she ages. I don't want to but she'll freak if I'm there and I don't want to move her either so looks like we're switching rooms. She'll be ok without one of us on the couch." David kissed his wife's head.
"If you're sure, I'll see you up there then." He whispered in her ear before leaving. Snow turned her attention back to Emma who was giving her mom a funny look.
"It was nothing exciting, I was just telling him to sleep in your room tonight." Snow said as she came back in.
"Are you going up with him?" Emma asked. Snow caught the worry in her voice, no matter how grown up she was trying to be.
"We'll see how you're doing." Snow said, kissing Emma's head.
"You know, those things play DVDs too, fancy watching Dirty Dancing?" Emma asked. Snow failed to keep back her grin. Obviously adult Emma had liked the movie more than she'd let on, Snow would make sure she reminded her when she was older. Snow pretended to be deep in thought.
"My favourite movie, my favourite girl, I guess I can cope with that." Emma grinned back as Snow stuck in the film and snuggled up with Emma.
"I love you mom." Emma said into her mom's shoulder. Snow blinked back the tears, this was the first time Emma had instigated saying that.
"I love you too, princess. More than you'll ever know."
Half way through and Snow could feel Emma drooping.
"Ok Em, I think it's time you went to bed." Snow said, turning off the TV. Emma nodded and snuggled down in the bed, she didn't have the energy to argue. Snow walked over to her and kissed her head.
"Sweet dreams, angel." Emma caught Snow's hand.
"Please momma, can't you stay? What if I start bleeding and you're not there?" Snow felt like her heart was being ripped out her chest again, but she couldn't stay.
"You won't baby, you'll be fine. You need a proper sleep and you can't do that if I'm breathing down your neck. But that doesn't mean I won't be here the second you call me, understand?" Snow told her.
"How will you hear me?" Emma asked, still worried. Snow desperately to just jump in beside Emma and hold her close, telling her she'd never let her go. But she needed to know exactly what had gone on, and for that she needed adult Emma to cooperate.
"Don't you worry; whenever you call I'll always hear you. I'll just be upstairs with your dad, if you need either of us don't be afraid to shout. Night, beautiful." Emma felt secure that Snow really would come if she called. She allowed her eyes to close shuts and her dreams to take her away.
The next morning, Snow asked David to take Henry for a sword fighting lesson again. She and Emma needed another heart to heart. She waited patiently for Emma to emerge, which she did about nine am. After Emma muttered her good mornings, Snow held out her hand.
"Wrist." Was all she needed to say. Emma held back originally.
"It's back to normal now, just a scar." She protested. But when Snow didn't put her hand down or stop staring at her she gave in and gave her mom her wrist to examine. Like she did the first time she saw it, Snow ran a finger gently over the thin line. Satisfied that Emma really was fine, Snow let her hand go.
"Why did you do it?" She asked openly, Snow saw no point in being blunt about this. Emma having known Snow for a while now couldn't deny that she was prepared for this, though it didn't make it any easier.
"Life was pretty brutal back then." She said rubbing her neck. "The family I was with… they didn't knock me around like the Mathiesons did, but they made it pretty clear what they thought of me- what I should think of myself." Emma began. Though Snow managed to keep her face straight, she couldn't stop the tear escaping her eye. Emma took a deep breath before continuing. "I scratched myself because I didn't understand the pain inside me, but I understood the physical pain the scratching caused. It helped; it was almost like a warm feeling. The physical pain was nothing compared to the stuff inside. But when scratching wasn't enough, I got a knife. It had been a particularly bad day and I just wanted relief from the pain inside my chest. So I cut across my wrist and apparently cut something pretty important. I was too out of it when the doctors told me what it was exactly to remember. Anyway, I screamed and my foster mom found me. I'm still fairly sure she only saved me so they wouldn't think she'd done it." Unexpectedly even to her, Emma started to cry. "This is really hard, you know?" Emma sobbed, looking up at Snow. "I don't really have much control over when I'll go back, and even the little control I do have doesn't always go to plan. I have no idea what I'll be showing you when I go back, no idea what Hell I'll be reliving. I want to do this, but it brings back a lot of bad memories, and a lot of things I don't want you to see." Emma broke down after that, but Snow was quickly crouching on the floor beside her, holding her.
"Emma, listen to me," She said, her head pressed against Emma's. "Your father and I can handle whatever you show us. It's our fault you went through it, it's only right we have a chance to fix the pain. But if it's too much for you to go through it all again, we'll understand if you can't do this anymore…"
"No!" Emma suddenly explained. "I mean, it hurts, but it helps a lot." Snow gave Emma a hand up and led her over to the couch.
"If you're sure, honey." Snow told her, pressing a kiss to her head. She went to leave and get Emma some breakfast, but Emma caught her hand.
"Just a second," She told her. "Last night, you left so I wouldn't be uncomfortable in the morning, didn't you?" Emma asked. Snow nodded. "Well, thank you for that, I know it can't have been easy for you. Just, for next time, I think I'd be alright if you were there when I woke up in the morning." That's all Emma could say before she was being squished against Snow.
"Not quite so sure about David though…" She mumbled into her chest. Snow gave a little chuckle.
"He said you kept kicking him when you were with us anyway. I told him he should have felt you kicking from the inside and he shut up pretty quickly." Emma gave a quiet laugh and relaxed into her mother's arms. Sure, sometimes the memories hurt, but the love she now felt made it worth it.
Hope you enjoyed! I'll be getting round all the ages eventually, so if you have any ideas feel free to leave them. Just as long as you know it might take me a while to get round to them! Not long at all to season 3! :D
