Despite their insistence that it would do them good to help, Mrs Weasley had banned Harry, Ron and Hermione from participating in the castle reparations and sent them up to bed. They hadn't dared to argue with her - after their year of absence, Mrs Weasley's motherly instincts towards the three of them had definitely escalated, and she was positively dangerous to argue with at times like this. So the trio reluctantly trailed upstairs to the common room and parted to ascend the spiral staircases to their separate dormitories.
"Night," Harry said to Hermione, yawning. "Well, it's morning, technically, but you know what I mean."
"Night. Sleep well," Hermione called after him as he began to climb the stairs to the boys' dormitories. Out of all of them, Harry was the one who deserved uninterrupted sleep. Hermione doubted that he would get it, however.
"Night," Hermione said again when she saw that Ron hadn't moved. He was still lingering. "What?" she asked softly, seeing his concerned expression.
Ron hesitated. "It's just... are you sure you'll be all right?" he asked, reaching for her hand tentatively.
"What do you mean?" she asked, confused.
"I mean... up there, by yourself," he clarified. "We can stay down here again if you want." Hermione smiled; there was something hopeful in his expression which suggested that he enjoyed last night as much as she did.
"I'll be fine," Hermione told him, squeezing his hand.
He didn't look entirely convinced. "Well, if you're sure -"
"Go," she insisted, kissing him quickly. "Harry needs you more than I do. Now hurry up, or he'll wonder what we're doing down here," she said with a smirk.
Ron smiled and reluctantly ascended the stairs to the boys' dormitory, whilst Hermione went in the opposite direction up to her own dorm.
If she was honest with herself, the thought of sleeping alone in the empty dorm didn't exactly fill her with joy. She tried closing the curtains, but she jumped at even the tiniest of noises and couldn't switch off the paranoia about what could be moving in the shadows. It was understandable; the last time she had slept in a room on her own was during those lonely nights on the Horcrux hunt after Ron had left, when Harry had been on watch. They had been expecting Snatchers or Death Eaters to appear at any moment, and no matter how hard she tried, Hermione still could not convince herself that the shapes in the shadows were nothing more than cats or people's assorted belongings.
So Hermione left the curtains open, and then she faced an entirely different (but much more normal) problem: the sun streaking through the windows. Even the weather seemed to be celebrating Voldemort's defeat. But it wasn't very helpful to Hermione - it would have been difficult enough to sleep during the day without the sunlight, but as it was, sleeping was near impossible.
It should have been nice to sleep in her four-poster bed after almost a year of sleeping in a bunk in a tent, but, tossing and turning as she tried to find a comfortable position, Hermione just couldn't get used to the feel of it. So much had changed since she had last occupied that bed, and it just seemed unnatural to be there again.
Hermione really wished she could switch off her brain for a bit and just stop thinking. Thoughts were whirring around in her head and they were overwhelming. Something - probably exhaustion - was preventing her from organising and prioritising them in her usual logical way, which in turn meant that it was like a constant drone in her head that just wouldn't shut up. It was a vicious circle.
She tried to remember how she used to get to sleep. It had never actually been a problem during the Horcrux hunt - she had just crashed from the exhaustion, and she had felt safe with Harry on watch. Now she had the exhaustion, but not the security of having someone to look out for her, which she had had with Ron the night before. She didn't like being alone, and she half wished that she had taken Ron up on his offer of staying with her, but she'd meant it when she said that Harry needed him more than her. Harry needed normality, and maybe having Ron up in the dorm with him would provide some. She didn't imagine that being alone would please Harry much, either.
What had she done before that? Her mother had always told her to count sheep. She tried that, but had difficulty fighting back tears from the memory. The rational part of her brain was telling her that she'd done the right thing for the safety of her parents, and was doing the right thing for their happiness not to retrieve them just yet. But the distressed, emotional part of her brain, the part that was ruling her at that moment, was screaming at her that she was an awful, awful daughter and that she didn't deserve them.
Suddenly, she couldn't fight them any longer, and all the unshed tears from the past year cascaded down her cheeks as her body shook from sobbing. She'd had to be strong during the Horcrux hunt; she'd had to keep going, and as a result had kept her emotions bottled up and detached herself from them. Now they were all emerging at once, and they were just too much for her. She couldn't even separate them and tell what the individual feelings were; she could just feel an overwhelming blur. She could still hear the rational side of her brain, though. It was telling her that this was good, that after this she wouldn't need to cry again, that it was good to be getting this out of the way early. She really hoped so.
She'd stopped crying and drifted in and out of sleep, until finally Ginny appeared at the doorway.
"Hey," Ginny said quietly, as if she was hoping not to startle her. Hermione wondered when people would stop acting like that around her. "Dinner's in five minutes - we didn't bother with lunch as breakfast was so late. The boys are waiting in the common room for us."
"Thanks," Hermione said, smiling weakly and getting up, smoothing out the creases in her top (she hadn't bothered to change out of her clothes). "Are they okay?" she asked.
"Yeah, they're fine," Ginny reported, coming into the room properly and sitting down on Parvati's bed. "Practically had to drag them out of bed. How about you, did you get much sleep, then?" she enquired lightly, although Hermione thought she detected a little worry in her tone.
"Yeah, it was really refreshing," Hermione lied. She wasn't quite sure why. She didn't want to share her moment of weakness with anyone, she supposed.
"Hmm," Ginny said, seemingly in approval, but Hermione could sense her scepticism.
"What?" Hermione asked warily.
The look Ginny gave her was both exasperated and sympathetic. "Just that you probably ought to wash those eyes out before we go downstairs."
Hermione sighed, cursing herself for forgetting how obvious it must have been and how well Ginny knew her, and looked in the mirror. Ginny was right; she was a blotchy, red mess. She went over to the sink in the corner of the room and splashed water onto her face, rubbing it onto her eyes. She glanced back at her reflection and sighed. It was better, but she didn't exactly look like she'd had the most refreshing nap. She dragged a brush through her hair.
"Want to talk about it?" Ginny asked softly.
Hermione shook her head. "I'm okay, now," she told her truthfully. "Just... everything got too much, you know?"
"Of course I do," said Ginny sympathetically. "Everyone gets moments like that. There's no need to be ashamed of it. And it feels better now, doesn't it?"
It did, surprisingly. Everything was back in perspective. Hermione felt like she could move on. And it was such a relief that Ginny understood how she was feeling, too. After the bizarre year she'd had, it was nice to be feeling something normal that other people could identify with. But she still didn't want to dwell on it.
"So what did I miss, then?" Hermione asked, and she noticed Ginny's smirk at the abrupt change of subject.
"Nothing much," she said. "I was fixing the Astronomy Tower with Dean, Seamus and Kingsley. We had a laugh." Hermione was slightly jealous of how normal that sounded. "Oh - McGonagall came and told us that tomorrow's going to be pretty much the same as today, cleaning up the castle and stuff. And then it should be repaired in time for the next day, when we'll have the memorial service." Hermione wasn't quite sure what she felt about that - it seemed very soon. But then maybe that would help everything to sink in so they could get on with their lives.
Ginny had fallen silent. Probably thinking about Fred. "And after that?" Hermione prompted.
"Oh," Ginny said with a start. "Then... we just go home, I guess."
Hermione felt slightly sick at the thought that she had no home to go to. Well, she had a home in the physical sense, but home meant so much more than just a place to live. Home, to Hermione, meant somewhere to be with family; somewhere to feel safe and secure.
"Home?" she repeated in a small voice, as if it was a foreign word that she was trying to get her tongue around.
Realisation came over Ginny's face. "Home," she said again, firmly. "You'll come and stay with us, of course, Hermione. Until you get your parents back. And Harry, too, for as long as he wants. Both of you, you'll always be welcome. I don't even need to ask the others to know that."
Ginny had always been Hermione's best female friend, the person she went to if she needed to talk about feelings, or ask for advice, or just talk about general girl stuff which she couldn't do with anyone else. But never had Hermione been so grateful for Ginny's friendship. "Thank you," Hermione said, and she meant it. "Are you sure it won't be too much trouble, though?" she asked fretfully. After all, the Weasleys were going through a lot at the moment - the last thing Hermione wanted to do was add to it.
"You're joking, right?" Ginny said with an incredulous laugh. "Mum'll love the excuse to feed you up and fuss over you. I can tell she's been trying to restrain herself ever since you arrived back."
Although she was still worried about causing extra trouble for the Weasleys, Hermione had to admit that it would be good for her to stay with them for a while. It would give her a chance to spend time with Ron and Harry before they went their separate ways after the summer. Besides, when at home with her parents, although she had meals cooked for her and laundry done for her, most of the time Hermione was generally left to her own devices. But at the Weasleys', it felt so much more like she was being looked after. Maybe that was just what she needed.
"Okay," Hermione said reluctantly, and Ginny grinned. "But promise you'll say if we're too much trouble. It wouldn't be a problem - Harry and I could always go and stay at my house, or Grimmauld Place."
"It'll be fine," Ginny promised. "And it'll be nice; we can have a proper catch-up." It would, actually - there had been so much to think about on the hunt, but now that she was back, Hermione realised how much she had missed her friend.
"Yeah, we can," Hermione said, smiling. "Shall we go down now?"
The boys seemed to have got tired of waiting for them and gone down to dinner - the common room was empty when they entered. "Typical," Ginny snorted, but she smiled, and Hermione laughed.
Dinner had already started when they got down, and Hermione almost burst out laughing at the familiar sight of Ron trying to stuff as much chicken into his mouth as possible. That was something she hadn't seen for a long time.
"Didn't bother waiting for us, then?" Ginny demanded, pretending to be angry as the girls joined the table of Weasleys, who all looked amused at the sight of Ron's mouthful.
Hermione could see right through her, but Harry and Ron obviously couldn't. "I'm sorry," Harry said quickly. "We thought -"
"Sorry, 'Ermione," Ron said, his mouth still full of chicken, which he then managed to swallow. "We didn't know how long you would take, and we were just so hungry."
"It's okay, Ron," Hermione said, giving Ginny a look. "You've got gravy all around your mouth, by the way."
Ron looked embarrassed as everybody laughed at him and he wiped it off hastily. "That better?" he asked, his ears going red.
"Much," Hermione assured him, trying very hard not to laugh at his adorable self-consciousness, but not entirely succeeding.
"What would you do without her, eh?" Charlie teased, and Ron scowled at him, but couldn't keep himself from smiling for long.
"Mum," Ginny said, "you know Hermione's parents are still in Australia? I said she and Harry can stay with us for a while."
"If you're sure that's okay," Hermione said quickly. "I really don't want to be any trouble, not after everything that's happened... Harry and I can always go back home or to Grimmauld Place -" But Mrs Weasley stopped her words with a big hug.
"You know you're always welcome, Hermione dear, and you're never any trouble," Mrs Weasley told her firmly. "Right, Arthur?"
"Of course," Mr Weasley agreed, and there were noises of assent from the rest of the family.
That, and the general family atmosphere and enthusiasm at the table, was enough to convince Hermione that a stay at the Burrow was exactly what she needed.
A/N: I just want to say another huge thank you to everyone who reviewed, and also to my fantastic beta, kci47. :D
