03/15/08:
03/15/08:
Karin-chan: Whoo! Another update from me! I'm very happy to be updating this!
Roxas: Are you sure it's not the angry mob in the background?
Karin-chan: Erm… I'm sure… heheh…
Axel: She fainted from fear
Riku: I would too if I was being glared at by an angry mob
Sora: Who have pointy things, very pointy things that can hurt people
Demyx: like scissors
Fangirls: OMG! It's the guys from Kingdom Hearts!
Axel, Sora, Demyx, Roxas, and Riku: …Oh crap… (faint)
Disclaimer: The author is still fainted so here's some random guy holding up a sign saying "I don't own Kingdom Hearts… Ooh, a cookie!"
Replies to Reviewers from Cocky Insanity 02:
Cole- Sorry for the delay. Here's the next update!
Kit-Kat-Wafer- I'm glad this story is so entertaining for you. I hope you will continue to see it that way.
Lebrezie- I really enjoyed your review. It made me laugh a couple of times. It's pleases me that my stories have that effect on you. I never had a pet squirrel before, only dogs, but I believe my current dog is the reincarnation of my first dog since they're identical in both appearance and personality. Yeah, I feel bad for Sora too.
Wozza33- When I was writing the Sora and Kairi scenes, I couldn't stop laughing myself. I was looking at the scene as I was laughing, and in between laughs I said, "I can't believe I just came up with this".
Tsuki Miyamoto- yes, 'cause man-eating raccoons kick butt! It will please you when I say that the man-eating raccoons shall return! And so will Sora and Kairi.
No name- I'm glad you're eager for this story's next chapter. Enjoy!
Angledawn- hehe. You do have a point there. I do see some Tamaki/Haruhi stuff in there as well as Natsume/Mikan.
--
Japanese Dictionary:
Kami-sama- God
Urusai- Shut up, be quiet
Nani- what
Imouto- little sister
Kuso- Damn, Dammit
Hai- yes
Oi- hey
Busotsuki- Liar
Ne- right?
Youjo- little girl
--
Cocky Insanity 03: Hell
A groan escaped her lips as her blue eyes creaked open. However, due to the light, she shut them immediately. Her head was throbbing as if a truck had hit her and then hit her again just for the hell of it.
"Ooh, what hit me?" Namine muttered as she rubbed her head gently. She went into her mind to recall what had happened but it was too disoriented at the moment to piece together a flashback.
Curse the blinding pain of headaches.
"Try the floor," a smooth voice told her in Japanese. For a moment, Namine thought it was Axel, but realized that Axel didn't have a sexy voice like that.
Without considering head pains, Namine sprung up into a sitting position. It was then that she realized she was lying on a bed. A very familiar bed to be exact.
Suddenly, it hit her like a ton of bricks as everything from before she passed out filled her mind: beating up Sora this morning, going to America, meeting Axel, crashing into a tree, getting chased by man-eating raccoons, making friends with said man-eating raccoons, going to her dorm, and finding two hormonally driven college students getting it on in her dorm.
…getting it on in her dorm…
…on her bed…
..the bed that she was currently…
"Eep!" Namine screamed out as she jumped off the bed. She took a vile of holy water out of nowhere and poured it on the bed sheets. Oh god, what if the fluids were still there!
A deep chuckle stopped her from her I've-been-violated-as-a-virgin-and-is-now-being-suffocated-by-the-unholiness-of-the-room panic attack. Her deep blue eyes turned to the owner and her jaw nearly dropped.
The. Guy. Was. Hot!
There, a male of about twenty-one sat in a computer chair smirking at her. His ocean blue eyes seemed a bottomless pit of cocky arrogance. His golden spiky blonde hair looked like the perfect bed head hairstyle that suited him very well. He was wearing grey sweat pants (thank Kami-sama!) and was currently shirtless giving Namine a good view of his lean tan chest.
Despite being overwhelmed by this person's good looks, the comment couldn't help escaping from Namine's mouth.
"Would it kill you to put a shirt on you man-whore?"
The guy stared at her for a few seconds before bursting out laughing. He held his stomach because he was laughing so hard. Namine just raised an eyebrow not getting what was so funny.
"No, I'm serious. Get a fricken shirt on; I've been scarred enough today" Namine told him with heat rising to her cheeks. Oh yes, she would be scarred with this day for the rest of her insane filled life.
After what seemed like an eternity, the man-whore stopped his laughing tirade and looked at her smirking. Namine forced herself to not blush. She may be a weirdo but she was still a woman dammit!
Curse her late coming hormones, Namine thought begrudgingly.
"You haven't changed a bit" he told her with another chuckle. "I didn't think it was you at first, but then again, who else would have poor fashion sense like you" he told her grinning.
An anger mark appeared on the short blonde's head as her eyebrow twitched. Who did this guy think he was insulting her choice of clothing? It was comfortable and easy to move around in. That's all that matters.
"Urusai! Who do you think you are anyway? I never met you before in my life!" Namine snarled out as she clenched her fists. Her eyes squinted angrily at the insufferable male as she plotted ways on how to kill him while making it look like suicide.
A frown settled on his handsome features. He seemed disappointed that she didn't recall him; however, the mischievous grin settled back on his face as he thought of something.
"I wonder… do your drawings still suck, insane midget?" he asked her with an innocent tone, but if you looked at his face, you could see the devil's knowing smirk present on his features.
"Nani?" Namine asked him with a growl. Only one person had the guts to call her that and they were the biggest egotistic, selfish, arrogant—Namine stopped her train of insults as her body completely froze.
…cocky bastard, she finished in her mind.
Her mouth opened and closed like a fish as she stared at the male in front of her. She blinked at him as if she was making sure her mind wasn't playing tricks on her. As she stared upon him in shock, the bastard had the nerve to let his smirk widen.
"Yo, midget" he greeted her with a light wave.
And Namine promptly fainted.
--
"Sora," Kairi began with a twitch of her brow, "Can you please stop clawing at the door like a cat. It makes you look pathetic" Kairi told her husband who was currently at their front door clawing and whimpering like a kicked puppy.
"But I can't, Kairi!" Sora whined out as he waved his arms frantically up and down like a turkey attempting to get away from people trying to cook him for thanksgiving. "Namine's out there somewhere possibly being molested! I can't just sit here and let that happen! My baby needs me!" Sora exclaimed out in panic.
"I know that, Sora" Kairi replied with a sweat drop. "But we can't actually walk out of here, now can we?" she asked him trying to calm his nerves, which will in turn calm her nerves and prevent her from going berserk to get to their favorite blonde midget.
It was true; currently, the house was on lockdown with every door and window locking them inside their home. And as if that wasn't enough, the whole police squad was outside their house monitoring their every move.
It was very embarrassing and degrading to say the least.
Suddenly, the phone rang alerting husband and wife. Kairi picked up the phone with Sora right beside her in an effort to listen hoping that it was Namine calling them.
"Hey there," it was the head chief greeting them. "How are you both holding up?" he asked them with a smile. Kairi and Sora turned their hands to the camera installed in their living room knowing that's where the police chief was looking through.
"Fine" they answered dejectedly. They wanted it to be Namine darnit!
"You seem gloomy. Expecting someone else?" he asked them.
"My imouto" Sora replied with a sniffle. "She went off to America to study aboard and when she called earlier, some guy was with her in the background!" Sora nearly burst into tears. However, Kairi grabbed the back of his collar to prevent him from going back to clawing at the door.
"Oh yeah, I have a niece in college" the chief told them sympathizing. "Those were the good old days. Back when people had more restraint and not spend all their time with sex" he said.
Kairi and Sora tensed up at that.
"I mean, when you hear a guy in the background, that usually means she's probably in a room with him shirtless and their about to, you know" he ended with a good hearted chuckle.
Meanwhile, Kairi and Sora were wearing identical expressions of horror.
"But I'm sure they'll be responsible. At least people have condoms with them now. Back then you didn't have a choice for protection" the police chief ignorantly went on completely unaware of the gaping mouths and wide eyed expressions of the Haruchi couple.
The phone dropped down with a clang as Sora and Kairi Haruchi began clawing at the front door like whimpering kicked puppies.
"NAMINE!!"
--
Namine Haruchi sprung up alert. She could've sworn she heard her name being called by people sounding strangely like her brother and sister-in-law.
"What the hell?" Namine asked herself as her brows furrowed in confusion. "I just had the most horrible dream" she muttered to herself.
"I dreamed I left Sora and Kairi to go to America where I met a weird cab driver with awesome hair and met new raccoon comrades. Then I walked in on two people getting it on in my room and the hot male turned out to be that cocky bastard Roxas Shihara from kindergarten" Namine shuddered as she finished her monologue. She really needed to stop eating mustard covered toast with apple jelly before bed.
"You think I'm hot? I'm honored" a voice chuckled out.
"YOU!" Namine exclaimed out as she pointed an accusing finger at the male from earlier. Her eyes were wide in horror and outrage. "What the crap! I thought that was a dream!" she wailed at him.
"So you admit you dream about me?" he gave her a sly grin. Namine was pretty sure her ears were red by that statement.
"Nightmare's more like it, bastard!" she growled out. How could this be happening! Namine hadn't seen this guy for over ten years since he left for America. What were the odds that she would come across her archenemy from elementary school?
Slim to none, Namine told herself. And yet, here he was, right in front of her with all his arrogance. Kuso, this was something she could do without!
"And what the hell are you doing in my room! Frankly, I don't give a shit if you were getting it on, but in my room! That I mind!" she shrieked at him. If he was going to whore himself around, then he should do it in his own room for Pete's sake!
A chuckle was her answer causing her to let out a yell in frustration.
"I'm not kidding around! Do you know how much disinfectant I'll need to get your germs out of here! In addition to the fact that you have scarred my virgin eyes for possibly an eternity! I'll probably have to go to a shrink about this, you know!" Namine ranted in a shout. She was panting by the time she was finished.
"You done?" he asked her with a brow raised. His arms were crossed against his chest—which Namine gratefully noticed was now covered by a navy t-shirt—as he stood a few feet away from her.
"…Hai" she spat out.
What the bastard did next surprised her to say the least. He approached her like a wolf stalking its prey. As he intruded on her personal space, her mind couldn't help but notice that he had grown taller. She barely reached his shoulder blade apparently.
Namine froze when he bended down to be in her line of sight. He drew closer to her slowly as his hot breath fanned her face. Her face became red as a tomato as her heart spasms against her chest.
"Good" he told her. "Because there's one thing wrong with your complaints" he said.
"Nani?" she asked him in suspicion. She tried to ignore the fact that this is the closest she's ever gotten to a male besides Sora. Her personality, appearance, and Sora's overprotectiveness made sure of that.
Especially the overprotectness. Definitely the overprotectness.
His mouth was right next to her ear fanning it with his warm breath. Namine kept her cool and busied herself with thoughts of deaths for him.
"…This is my room"
--
"Okay, the cameras aren't watching us over here" Kairi said as she and Sora were in their cellar with shovels and yellow helmets with lights on their heads.
It seems their worry for Namine finally got the better of the two Haruchis as they couldn't take the confinement anymore while Namine was possibly losing her innocence.
And it was only three hours since house arrest began too.
Oh well, Namine was more important than some stupid police punishment.
"This should be the weak spot" Sora said as he held up a blue print of their cellar. Where he got that the world will probably never know.
Their plan was very simple actually: dig a tunnel out of the house without the police being aware and fly over to America and kidnap—I mean, voluntary abduct—Namine back to Japan with them where they can make sure she's safe from the sex-crazed males in America.
It was the perfect plan. Besides, Namine could just go to college here. They were sure her mother would agree once they tell her about the males trying to rape their baby.
With that thought in mind, the partners in crime started to dig a tunnel through the wall. So far so good. No one had come downstairs and see their plan of escape. They were sure they would get away.
Suddenly, a clang sound stopped the duo from their tracks. Sora's shovel hit something metal. He and his wife looked at the metal thing in wonder having no idea what it was.
Instead of doing the logical thing and continuing on their dig and ignoring the metal thing, Sora and Kairi pushed their luck by tapping it with their shovels again.
All of a sudden, rumbling occurred. Then, water sprayed out of the pipe in a flash washing them back through their tunnel into the cellar. Well, what was left of their cellar since the whole cellar was being flooded. The water with up to their shoulders.
"Oi! What's going on down there?" a police officer asked as he shined a flashlight down the cellar onto the married couple who had anime tears running down their faces.
Our Namine…
--
"Busotsuki! This is my room!" Namine shouted at him. The bastard had the nerve to roll his eyes and began dragging her out into the hall by the back of her collar. "Are you really as stupid as to mistake room 208—eh? Why does the door say 210?" Namine asked curiously when her companion pointed to the plank on the door outside the room. Her room was 208, not 210. So that means…
"You should make sure it's your room you're walking into. Otherwise you might walk in to see something that will scar you for life" he told her bluntly.
"Too late" Namine growled at him referring to his earlier escapades. She would be having nightmares for weeks about that.
"So, you're my roomie, huh?" he asked her with a mischievous grin. "What the odds, ne youjo?" he asked her with a malicious glint in his eyes promising her misery.
"It will just like old times" he told her. "Unless, you want to do more?" he suggested with a perverted grin.
"Drop dead, asshole!" Namine told him and slammed the door to her correct room.
--
"I can't believe you actually tried to dig a tunnel to escape" the police chief said in disbelief as he looked upon a soaking wet Sora and Kairi Haruchi. "What on earth were you thinking?" he asked them astounded.
"The possibility of Namine being raped" they replied with gloom clouds over their heads. Darn, they were caught!
"You guys must be really worried if you tried digging a tunnel in order to get out of your house" the chief said in awe.
"So that means you'll let us go to Namine?" the two Haruchis asked hopefully. The policed chief gave off a good-hearted laugh and grinned at them with no malice whatsoever.
"Of course not! The law is final after all" he told them grinning as if they were all good friends.
"Namine" cue teary eyes and mopes from the two adults.
This was pure hell.
--
Roxas Shihara sat at his computer with a bored expression. The usual mundane routine can do that to a person. Especially the routine known as college.
But then again, the mundane routine didn't really count for today, Roxas thought with a grin on his face as he recalled today's events.
At first, it didn't seem like anything was going to happen. All he had was classes and a couple of dates. Plus there was that impromptu get-together with that waitress he picked up earlier today.
And to think, just as he and the waitress were in the middle of sex, he caught ear of a small squeak of an apology from the doorway along with a small click meaning the door had closed. Now, the apology in itself didn't catch his attention nor was it the clicking of the door.
It was the fact that the apology was spoken in Japanese, his native language.
At first, he thought he had imagined it so he paid it no mind and continued on with the waitress, but then the door opened again and there was a loud exclamation from someone—female, he noted—also in Japanese.
He stopped what he was doing when he had heard a thud on the floor. When he turned to glare at the person who had interrupted, he was pretty sure he had gotten the shock of his life.
There, on his floor, was Namine Haruchi with swirly eyes and her face as red as a tomato. He thought he was dreaming until his partner whined to him about the girl's rudeness that he realized that his favorite person to tease from elementary was actually there.
Deciding to cancel his impromptu meeting with the waitress deeming the little female's presence more important, he put on some pants and shooed the waitress away. He made sure she didn't even touch Namine as she stepped over her while glaring at the blonde female.
She hadn't changed much surprisingly. She still had her childish pigtails and round thin rimmed glasses that made her look childish. Her height hadn't seemed to improve much nor did her sense in clothing. Even if she had changed her appearance, he was pretty sure he would've recognized her anyway due to her worn out maroon madras she always wore in their school days.
He had placed her on the bed for her to be comfortable as he took a shower. His thoughts jumbled as he thought of his schoolmate. He hasn't seen her in over ten years and now she suddenly pops up into his life without warning.
He remembered in their school days that he always got on her nerves. She was—still is, he told himself—fun to tease. The angry flush on her face and the fiery blue eyes she had was very refreshing to him since the day he met her.
In fact, everything about her entertained him. Call him a sadist if you want, but Namine bought out his malicious side. He couldn't help it if she was incredibly interesting to him now could he?
But when he had moved to America and abruptly left Japan, he had felt an overwhelming sense of loss. He no longer had something in the day to look forward to since his favorite toy was in another country.
It was shocking, but… he missed her.
There, he said it, he missed her. He missed her irritation; her reactions; her surprised yelps; her foul mouth; her grins; her in general. The needing and longing got so strong that he had to distract himself with studying and other things to keep her away from his mind. But at times, she would come back with a vengeance and torture him with memories of her.
Guess karma really does bite back at times, he noted with a grimace.
When she had awakened, he was pleased to see that her personality hadn't changed at all. She was still the fiery foul-mouth he had met in kindergarten. He recalled that he was excited to see her reaction when she saw him, but she hadn't recognized him at all. He didn't really change his appearance since elementary school so the fact that she could've realized it without his hints and didn't hurt him a little.
Aw well, he was rewarded with an interesting reaction when she did figure it out. She had fainted right on the spot again. It was so hilarious; he wished he had a camera for that to watch again anytime he wanted.
And then the fact that she had walked into the wrong room while two people were having intercourse thinking it was her room was possibly the funniest thing he thought she'd ever done. The girl was truly unaware of her surroundings, Roxas thought with a grin. Even in school she had the tendency to walk into the wrong room at times.
Her denseness and naiveté still astounded him today.
Still, that's what made her entertaining. That was all that matters. Now that Namine was going to school with him and even living as his roommate, he had plenty of time to make up for all those years away from her.
Looks like his mundane routine had ended for good.
--
Namine glared up at the ceiling. She couldn't believe the crap she got herself into this time! Was her suffering going to end anytime soon? Couldn't kami-sama just be satisfied with taking her away from her precious family and leave it at that instead of adding that cocky bastard Shihara into the mix?
With a tired sigh, Namine decided that asking herself these questions won't make her misery go away. Quickly getting changed into an oversized t-shirt—it was one of Sora's shirts that she stole—and plain shorts that stopped a little bit after mid thigh, Namine brushed her hair and brushed her teeth quietly as to not alert her roommate she was in there.
Once that was done, she locked the door leading to the bathroom to prevent a late night visitor from 210 and curled up in her dark green comforter. As she felt her eyes closing, they caught sight of a calendar hanging above her dresser across the room. Not knowing why, she stood up and approached it. On the top it said "Welcome to Harvard University". Must be something that all students were given for free.
Not speaking at all, Namine took down the calendar, crossed something out with a pen, and wrote something new. Once she was done, she hung it back up and went over to her bed. Finally, she quietly turned out the lights and went to sleep with the new writing on the calendar across from her on the wall.
Welcome to Hell University
08.19.08:
Karin: Well there you have it. Sorry it took so long to update this. I hope you all enjoyed it though.
Roxas: finally I show up!
Riku: In the most perverted way possible
Axel: Can't say that this meetings used often
Sora: Tell me about it
Demyx: I want ice cream!
See ya next time!
