Yeay! The dark suspenseful begining is done...now to the fun meat of the story. (Except maybe the little section where we transition.) Thank you for continuing to follow along with me.


CHAPTER 4 The Steward is Dead

Obi woke in the morning feeling a bit like he had a hangover, though he wasn't sure since he hadn't had one since he was very young - alcohol had always been the drink of choice for the College family, even for the young. He sighed and rolled over to sit on the edge of his bed, rubbing his face with his hands. Dropping his hands to rest on the bed beside him, he looked over at the bed on the other side of the room. Ilena was still breathing at least. He got up, washed to finish waking, and dressed for the day.

"Well, now," he said the sleeping form of Ilena, "to take care of you." He took her vitals, updated the medical record, mechanically writing quickly. He knocked on the adjoining door to Shirayuki's room, and hearing nothing, peeked his head in. She was still sleeping soundly. He quietly entered the room and dropped the medical record on her desk, then left just as soundlessly back to his own room. It wouldn't do to have the guards see him leave Mistress' room. That would get him in trouble with Master.

"Stay there," he told Ilena. "I'll be right back." He wondered if she was conscious enough to be laughing inside. Probably not. It wasn't that good a joke anyway.

He headed for the garrison dining room first, grabbing up an apple and a hunk of cheese. Munching alternately between them, he walked through the garrison and headed for Alise's house. It looked like it was mid-morning. That worked, though he didn't know if Alise would be home. Wonder what she does during the day? The thought was idle. His eyes were sweeping the village, catching every dim shadow, every furtive movement. In particular, he wanted to see if someone was entering or leaving the area of Alise's house, or if it was being watched. He was certain he'd picked up at least one tail, and every idle shadow-hugger watched him as he walked. This little village wasn't big enough for this many of them. Someone definitely wanted to know what was going to happen next.

The problem was, he wasn't sure himself. He couldn't quite work up the energy to put on a show of being angry or upset at the moment, which was probably the right way to go about it. He finally settled himself with leaning against a wall, one foot up on it, his arms crossed, looking broody. From here, he could see Alise's house from the side. That way he would know if someone came or went from the front or the back. It was an obvious stakeout, for the sake of his tails, but really he just wanted time to think. If he got to see something useful, well, so much the better, but he doubted it would happen.

Finally he sighed. Nothing was coming to mind. Well, cold expressionlessness was often just as useful as hot anger.

He knocked on Alise's door. She actually answered it, Obi was mildly surprised. He slowly lowered his hand that had been about to knock again. "May I come in?"

"Ah, Master Obi. Yes, please." She ushered him in, closing the door behind her.

The front room was small and simply furnished. Obi did his automatic sweep of the room and the house emotionlessly. One person upstairs in a bed. Maybe she took care of an older family member and that was why she was home. One person hiding very quietly in the kitchen. Had that person been waiting since morning for him to come? Well, that made the task easier then, didn't it? He set his back to the door, standing close enough to it to run if he needed to, though there wasn't a sense of a threat, just of observation, coming from the kitchen.

"Miss Alise, what is the dosing of the Little Death Miss Steward was on?"

Alise took in a sharp breath and tightened her hold on her hands, which were clutched in front of her skirt. She looked directly in his eyes, her eyes pleading. "I'm very sorry, Master Obi. I do not know."

"Does the person in the kitchen know?"

Alise startled quite badly, but Obi didn't move. She shook her head violently. "N...n-n-no, Master Obi."

His eyes narrowed. "You're very certain?"

"Y-y-yes, Master Obi. We are only delivery persons."

"But the person who makes it knew I would be coming today to ask." He stated it as fact and her body didn't deny it. "Why didn't that person tell you?" He could feel the panic of the person in the kitchen rising as that person's breathing rate increased.

"I...I don't know, Master Obi," her shoulders slumped in defeat and tears started well up in her eyes. "I don't want Mistress Ilena to die, Master Obi. If I could help you, I would."

"Have you received today's delivery?"

"Ah...yes." It was almost a whisper.

"I'll take it," he ordered her. Alise curtsied and turn quickly to the kitchen. She returned shortly with a canister like the one she had brought to the recovery room the night before.

"And the instructions?" Obi asked as he took the container.

"Mistress Ilena will give them herself." He could see that Alise was very afraid, but she had enough courage to look him in the eye when she said it.

Obi was coldly silent for a moment. "It is already too late. Please let them know that the Steward died because of the Little Death this last night. She will not return to the Earl." He stared at Alise a moment longer as her tears started to fall, then turned and walked out the door, closing it behind him. He could hear her sobbing into her hands and the faint footsteps of the person in the kitchen quietly coming to comfort her. He raised his head to the sky and breathed out a deep breath, closing his eyes briefly.

Well, that was done, and it went about as he expected. He walked slowly to the village stables where he collected his horse and paid the difference he owed. He led the horse past the village hall without looking at it - really without looking at anything, aware only of the people in the shadows watching him, the people in the light moving out of his way. When he was at the garrison, he left his horse with the stable hand there, telling him to prepare it for departure, and returned to his and his Mistress' quarters, taking the container of Little Death with him. Word started to spread that Mistress Ilena, Steward of the Earldom of Farmor, had died and Master Obi, rumored missing heir of the same, was heartbroken.

"Mistress! Mistress!" Obi knocked on Shirayuki's door from the outside hall way. "Have you woken yet? It is nearing time to leave."

He heard stirring on the other side of the door. "Time to leave?" came muffled through it.

"Yes, Mistress. Master will be waiting for us. We shouldn't be arriving too much after dark or he will worry."

"Ah, just a moment," he could hear Shirayuki throwing on some clothes and washing her face quickly. Then she opened the door, her eyes wide, "Obi? What…?"

He put his finger to his lips. "May I come in briefly and help you pack, Mistress?"

"Eh, ah...yes, please," Shirayuki answered, letting him in. Once the door was closed behind her she asked, "So...what are we doing?"

Obi sighed. "Somehow we are going to leave with everyone noticing. Then we are going to arrive without anyone noticing. I'm afraid I have to admit to not being able to consider it properly at the moment." He yawned.

"Obi, that was a very big yawn," Shirayuki scolded. "You did not sleep properly, did you?"

"Perhaps it is that I slept too much," he yawned again. "I am not used to sleeping so deeply as I have the last two days."

"If we are 'ready to go', does that mean you have talked to Miss Alise?"

"Yes. She was unable to tell me anything, though she did give me today's dosing," Obi answered, handing over the canister, "but I didn't think she would be able to. She did tell me that there was a middleman who delivered it to her from the person who made it, so there are probably several layers of persons between to make it difficult to track down the person who really knows. She also said that Miss Steward will explain the dosing herself. Miss Alise, herself, doesn't want any harm to come to Miss S...Miss Ilena, but is not capable of helping beyond what she has been able to do this far." Obi sighed, "So I have sent back up the chain that the Steward has died to the Little Death last night and will not return to the Earl. It will be up to Mistress and the Doctor to keep Miss Ilena alive for Master's sake, ...but he did ask Ryuu to help."

"Oh, he asked Ryuu?" That was a ray of hope for Shirayuki, who was feeling a bit helpless about a drug she had never heard of before that previous night.

Obi nodded. "Also, Master ordered the Doctor to provide whatever you need of the Little Death the Captain confiscated some time ago in order to keep Miss Ilena alive long enough to bear testimony against the Earl, if it is possible."

"So we have access to some? ...Obi," she said very carefully, and his warning bells went off and he went on alert, "how is it, that I, who need to know these things so that I can be of help because I am here in the place to be of help, know these things last? Surely a task of such import and difficulty should not generally be left until the last minute to comprehend and complete."

"Ah…!" He fished for the right way to respond. Abject humility was the only way. He bowed deeply. "You are correct, Mistress. I am very sorry." He would have to be very sure this righteous anger of Mistress was conveyed in his next report to Master...after all, he should also be prepared for her anger the next time they met. This was not a small matter for her.

"Go check on Miss Ilena. I will go and speak with Doctor Bonner." She ordered, picking up the medical record book off her desk. "I will come for you after that."

"Yes, Mistress," Ah, he was being sent to his room for being naughty. Shirayuki even pointed at the door between their rooms and waited until he had bowed himself through and closed it. Then he heard her sigh a frustrated sigh and exit her room. He leaned his head against the door between their rooms, listening to her walk down the short distance to the Doctor's office, knock, announce herself, and be admitted. He turned his head slightly so he could just see Ilena. "You know, you are getting to be quite troublesome," he told her. "For all our sake, I hope you stay alive."

"I'm sorry. I plan to."

Obi jumped. Up into the upper corner of the room where he had been standing in, holding himself in position as if waiting to land on the next person to walk through the door. His unconscious reactions had him back on the floor again in a crouch before his mind registered that he'd even scanned the room for attackers and seeing none, had let himself drop.

Ilena had an amused smile on her tired face. "That was an interesting reaction. I think I might need to be grateful that there aren't several daggers sticking out of me as well." He had seen her face and she had been looking at him when he was up on the ceiling, but now that he was on the floor, she could only see him slightly by turning her head.

Obi took one long slow breath, willing his heart to calm, sliding his throwing knives back into their sheaths. "Indeed." He said coldly. Standing, he stared at her, his eyes hard. "Next time, you will."

"Understood," her voice was apologetic, but it was also still tinged with amusement. For some reason, the first contact he'd had with Zen's older brother rippled across his memory. He'd been sitting in a tree, waiting for Master to call him, when a sharp stone had been flung at him and scratched his cheek. He'd caught the stone just as it zipped past, but he'd not seen the attacker before or after. It had been Master who had told him it had been his older brother, testing him. It rankled that it felt like Miss Ilena had just tested him and he'd passed it just as badly, by his own standards.

"Why are you awake?" Obi asked her, walking to her and lifting her arm to take her pulse.

"It doesn't hurt? ...What are you doing?"

"Taking your pulse. One of the odd jobs your presence has required is that I am now a nurse."

"Oohhh." She waited quietly while he counted and calculated, and then measured her temperature.

"It really doesn't hurt?" Obi asked neutrally.

"No, but then the court pharmacist did give me a painkiller on top of the painkiller I had already taken. I shouldn't think it too odd."

Obi turned the desk chair and sat on it so that he was leaning over the back of it to talk to Ilena. "Let's talk about that second painkiller, shall we?"

"What would you like to know?" Ilena asked obligingly.

Obi started to ask a question, then stopped. There were rather a lot of things he needed to know about it and several he wanted to know. What was the most important? They didn't really have a lot of time at the moment, but would, or potentially could, have more later. It's that then, isn't it? "What dose are you on and how do we get you off of it altogether?"

"Hmm… I'll tell you, but go open your door first."

? But her eyes were closed. Obi got up and opened the door to find Shirayuki just walking up to it, her mouth open to request entrance from the guards outside. They looked at each other briefly, both astonished. Obi recovered, "Mistress, please come in." He bowed her in, remembering she was probably still angry. "Ah, please have a seat, Mistress."

In looking for the chair, Shirayuki couldn't miss Ilena's open eyes, looking at her. "Ah! Miss Ilena! You are awake?"

"Yes, Miss…?"

"Shirayuki," the subject supplied as Obi turned the chair around and Shirayuki sat down.

"Miss Shirayuki. Thank you very much for taking care of me last night. I apologize for the ordeal I am sure it was." Ilena's voice was quiet and her face tired.

"I think, as an appropriate apology, I would like to know how it is I am going to help you." Shirayuki said. Obi, hearing this, had his heart sink. She was still angry.

"Of course. I would be happy to tell you the process, if you would be so kind as to take the dictation."

Shirayuki paused, her hand lifted. "You know...the whole process?"

"Yes, Miss Shirayuki," Ilena said soberly. "However the story of why needs to wait for another time. It is rather longer than I have the energy to tell today."

Shirayuki blinked, then took out her pen and opened Ilena's medical record. "Very well. I am ready."

Ilena glanced at Obi, then turned her head to look at the ceiling and closed her eyes. "Please be aware that I have already received the first two doses, but I shall give them to you for completeness sake. Also, please be sure that it is made only by your hand. I will not take it if another makes it. Too many wish my death." Shirayuki nodded, making notes. When her pen paused, Ilena continued. "The Little Death comes in grains. Typically in the underworld a few grains are placed on the tongue and allowed to dissolve. This is very dangerous. Please do not do such a thing to me." Shirayuki made another note, her pen scratching on the paper.

When it was quiet, Ilena continued, "Three grains only, seeped in a liter of water. Do not stir. At five minutes, take only the top measure of three drams, careful to leave the grains behind. Discard the remainder. Repeat for the second night. These two doses should be given at the typical time the user takes their dose." Ilena paused again until the scratching stopped. "The following two nights, two grains only, seeped in a liter of water, do not stir. At five minutes, take only the top measure of three drams, careful to leave the grains behind. The dosing for these and the remainder of the course must be given at the appropriate time." She paused again, waiting for Shirayuki to catch up.

"The appropriate time to dose for the remainder of the course that I am to take is at the time of lucidity, just after the tears flow. The timing of the night wakefulness is consistent throughout. However, administering becomes difficult as the length of time for lucidity shortens nightly until it is so brief that your only clue to the dosing time is the few tears that fall. In my case, if you are holding my hand at that time, I will squeeze your hand to let you know the time is right."

This time she waited while Shirayuki figured out how to write it down. "Ready," said Shirayuki when she was done.

"The remainder of the course is this: the fifth night, two grains only, seeped in a liter of water, three minutes. Take only the top one dram. Discard the remainder. Repeat thereafter nightly, until the patient no longer cries in the night. Even wet cheeks with silent tears require this dosing. Waking the following morning after the course is complete will be normal with clear eyes."

When Shirayuki was done writing, she read it back to Ilena, making a few minor clarifying notes as she went. "So in your case, tonight we will wait until the time of wakefulness and give you the first of two nights of the two grains seeped in a liter of water, taking the top measure of three drams at five minutes."

"Yes, that is correct."

"Can we use this for other people who have been using the Little Death?" Shirayuki asked hopefully.

"No. I was on a very minor dose, sufficient for our needs. The process is different for them."

"Do you know it as well?"

Ilena paused. Obi perked his ears up. "There is a research paper being written with the process in it. It is not mine to say at this time."

Shirayuki's mouth formed into an "oh" and Obi's eyebrows raised in surprise. They understood the importance of research, papers and publications to the individual researchers from her time at Lyrias, but this was an unusual topic. "It is not your research?" Shirayuki asked.

"No, my lady. I have not such time as to devote to full time research." Ilena's breathing was becoming a little labored.

"Are you in pain?" Obi asked her.

"I am...tired. I think the pain...is translating to ...weariness."

Shirayuki looked curiously at Obi, and he explained, "She told me when I came in that she was awake because she was not feeling pain. This was likely a combined effect of the pain medication you gave her and the pain reducing effects of the Little Death."

Shirayuki nodded and annotated the medical record, deciding that that information was also significant. "Then, Miss Ilena,..."

"She is asleep, Mistress," Obi said quietly.

"Eh? Oh." Shirayuki nibbled on the end of her pen. "Well, that was a surprising source of help, wasn't it?"

Obi nodded. Not only surprising, but suspicious. Was Miss Ilena the one who had supplied Alise with the proper dosages before leaving the village? Again things pointed to Miss Ilena being the culprit of the death of the Lady wife of the Earl, or of being the third party behind the death of the first assassin by the second. Not that he could rule out coincidence or the hand of the Earl. There were still too many unknowns, but if Ilena was now guaranteed to remain alive, he would have the time to hear what she had to say for herself. In the meantime, "Mistress, it really is time to go if we are going to carry out the farce that Miss Ilena is dead."

Shirayuki nodded, setting the medical record down on the table. "Let us go then, and return when we can."

"I believe that she will continue to rest quietly. We could leave now and return after dark, now that we know we do not have to be present to administer the drug until after midnight and it is already made for today."

Shirayuki thought about that, then shook her head. "That might be easiest for the farce, but I would like to be here to watch her progress through the day. We are still in the danger zone for her recovery at this time."

"Could the Doctor watch over her?" Obi wanted to make sure she wasn't just working too hard.

"Mmm...I suppose he could. He could cover for us while we are gone, of course, but still, where would we go and what would we do? You suggested last night that others could pose as us and ride out."

Obi considered it, then rejected it. "We need to be seen leaving. There are no guards who can pose for us close up. However, we needn't go far, if we have a place in hiding we can trade with substitutes. They can continue on to the castle and we can ride back as if we were them. Do you think you could sit a horse by yourself for the trip back, or should we walk back?"

Shirayuki considered. She had been practicing with Obi a little, and she was fairly balanced on horseback now. She was just tentative in her handling skill. Still, she wanted to be away the least time possible and horseback would get them back sooner. "If there is a horse that will obediently follow your horse, I think I would rather do that."

"Okay, Mistress, then if you will kindly pack your things, I will pack mine, then we will go to say our farewells to the Captain. There should be time to write our reports to Master while we wait for the plan to be readied. We can send them with the soldiers who go to the castle in our place."

-o-o-o-

The next three nights they were able to sleep earlier in the evening and awaken shortly after midnight in preparation for the Little Death side effects to occur. The sleep talking periods were continuously embarrassing and difficult for Obi to listen to, but since Ilena only ever called Wellesley's name, Shirayuki continued to remain oblivious.

Shirayuki experimented with giving Ilena the painkilling medicine at various times each night, attempting to get the pain of the hip reduced sufficiently that her cries were only from the repayment pain. She also secretly hoped it would reduce those pains somewhat, thereby reducing the pain of the listeners. By the end of the third night, she felt like she had a rudimentary idea of the best timing combination.

The time of lucidity was definitely decreasing. Ilena had talked to them briefly the first night, had reacted to their talking to each other the second night, and on the third night, just to be sure, Shirayuki had held her hand. She had spoken briefly, just to say, "now" and squeeze Shirayuki's hand. Then, each night, she had faded into sleep and the two caretakers had made their medical notes and returned to their beds.

During the days, Obi fretted and Shirayuki studied until she sent him off to disturb Dr. Bonner, who on the third day sent him off to disturb the Captain. There, Captain Grey handed him a set of papers. "I've received these yesterday and today. I thought it best to wait until you came to get them rather than expose you to more soldiers than need to know you are here."

"Thank you," Obi said, taking them. He decided to read them there so that if an immediate response was needed he could leave it with Captain Grey for delivery.

Two were for him, and one for Shirayuki. He opened his two, put them in order of delivery, then began to read them. The first was just a general response to the report he had sent with the fake Obi. The second was orders. He wondered what had happened at the castle in one day to make Master suddenly go from patient to impatient. As he didn't have anything to report back yet, he tucked the three letters into his jacket and said goodbye to the Captain, stealing an apple off his food tray on the way out. He took the roof route and took some time to sit out of sight where he could look east out over the hills towards the castle, enjoying a brief view of freedom while he contemplated his most recent orders and what exactly to do about them.

Shirayuki sighed and put down the letter Zen had sent to her.

"Was Master properly apologetic, Mistress?" Obi asked her.

She chose not to answer.

Oh, dear. "Well, perhaps he feels it best to properly apologize in person, then, Mistress?"

She gave him a look that said, Don't push it, and he backed off, but that told him the tact to take. "Mistress, Master has sent me orders that arrived this morning, a day after he sent these letters. In order for me to carry out his orders, I need to ask that you please let me take care of Miss Ilena alone at night until she has completed the course of her recovery." Before she could get angry about being cut out of the loop again, he hurried on, "Master would like to know if using this low dose of the Little Death can be used for interrogation reliably. While there isn't much time left in Miss Ilena's case to experiment, our past relationship is such that I will know if it is possible based on the answers she gives to my questions during the sleep talking phase of the night. I would ask that you not be present as the information she and I will talk about is personal to myself." There, he'd been as open as he could.

Shirayuki sat quietly for several moments, balancing her need to continue to be in control of her patient during a touchy time with her desire to be a strength to both Obi and Zen. Though, when it was put that way… "I will make up the appropriate dose each evening for you, then, and give her the appropriate painkilling medicine at the right time myself. Please continue to keep the medical record updated precisely and let me know when she has completely recovered. If there is any difficulty, you are to tell me immediately."

"Yes, Mistress," Obi bowed slightly, "Thank you."

That night, Obi was oddly nervous. It wasn't like Ilena was going to be awake or remember the brief conversation they might not even have, but he still would have to, on some level, admit to her who he was. That went entirely against his self-preservation instincts. He lay on his bed, hands behind his head, one leg propped up on his other knee, wondering just what he should ask. It should probably, for this first one at least, be somewhat related to whatever her dream was. It would be easiest to steer the conversation where he wanted it to go if he started wherever she was, but that made it difficult to prepare a question set ahead of time.

He dozed off lightly at some point, coming back awake when her breathing switched to the more ragged breaths that indicated the dreams were about to begin. He sat up, cross-legged on the bed, relaxed and waiting for her to begin.

"Here you are, Wellesley. See, I've found you. I'm here." She was dreaming of one of the times he had been punished and gone into hiding and she had come to find him. "What has happened? Will you tell me?"

"You have been hurt because of me." Obi answered her, hoping he'd been faster than the dream Wellesley, glad to have an easy opening at the beginning.

"It is of no consequence, Wellesley. I can bear all things if you are free." That seemed to follow his comment.

"But why? Why are you willing to bear such horrible things because of me?"

"...because I love you."

"Do you still love me, even after all these many years of pain and effort?" This was a change of time. Would it work?

"Yes, Obi, I do." Obi leapt up to see if her eyes were open and she was awake. She was not. He shook.

"Why?!" It was the only thing he could find in his shocked mind to ask.

"Because you are mine, and I have been waiting for you to be strong enough for me."

That was the answer he was expecting, but… "How is that 'loving' me?"

"Because I cannot give myself to you until you are strong enough to bear the burden that is me."

Wha…? What kind of an answer is that?! "What is the burden that is Ilena?"

"...I can only answer that question to Zen."

She was gone from the dream state. Obi prepared for the payment of pain state, making sure the next dose of the drug was at hand, setting aside his reaction to the session during the time he needed to focus on getting the timing right. Thankfully he did not have to hold her down due to the level of pain being somewhat reduced by the painkilling medicine. He did gingerly hold her hand so that he would be sure to give her the draught at the right time. The tears began, though there were not many, then she sighed. Obi immediately raised her head and gave her the dose. "Thank you'" she said faintly, then she was gone, asleep for the remainder of the night.

Obi recorded the medical information in the journal, then lay down in his bed, trying to put it all together in his head, as if he was writing the report to Master. The subject will answer questions. It is possible to redirect the dream to the topic you wish to talk about. Did I wish to talk about that? Well, more like I didn't wish to hear about it. She was honest and consistent in her answers. Well, consistent, at least. 'Honest' may be just guessing on my part. Time frame can be modified to the present if they are dreaming about the past. She called me Obi for the first time ever when I redirected her time frame. Does she know already that Wellesley became Obi? How!? And...there are things she has control of, that she will not speak about while she is dreaming, or will only speak to specific persons. This may be peculiar to her, not applicable to other users. Again, she refers to Master familiarly. As if she knows him. And this time she says there is a thing she will only tell him. What is it and why?

Obi frowned. He'd received useful information, but there were still plenty of questions Master would have that he could see wouldn't be answered by just testing Ilena alone. That matter of honesty was the hardest one. Was there a way to verify what was said?

Obi yawned. Well, he still had a whole day to think of it, and who knew what tomorrow night's dream would be about. There really wasn't enough time to try everything. He'd just have to do the best he could. Still...he didn't fall asleep easily. His nightmares kept resurfacing.

-o-o-o-

Ilena woke to the sound of a pen scratching on paper. That was new. Usually it was silent the rare moments she woke. Except for that time when ...it was Obi, right?... had come in after talking to Miss Shirayuki and she'd badly startled him. That was funny, but frightening at the same time, his reaction. Well, on the off chance this was him and not the pharmacist...she took a deep breath, then was surprised by a yawn that overtook her. By the time she opened her eyes from recovering from the yawn, he was standing over her, his golden eyes dark with suspicion, his face closed.

"How long have you been awake?" he asked.

"Mmm..., just now." She blinked at him, then lifted a heavy hand to rub her eyes. "It is Master Obi, right?"

He considered his answer. "Yes."

"May I please have some water, and perhaps a little something mild to eat?"

His eyes widened slightly in surprise. "One moment," and he disappeared from her sight.

Ilena sighed. It was going to be hard being on her back for six weeks. Not being able to see the little world around her, let alone move about as she was used to. It was nice being able to rest for once. If only it didn't include all the pain here at the beginning. ...But then I'd not lie still at all, would I?

Obi returned with water and helped her to drink it. She firmly pushed her emotions down. Now was not the time to be thinking about Wellesley. She was a suspect in a murder investigation, and this was not Wellesley - at least, not any more.

"Do you think you'll actually be awake long enough for the kitchen to make you something to eat, and then eat it?" Obi asked her, a bit skeptical.

"Ah, well, ...I guess I don't know that. But, I am hungry a bit."

"Well, hunger is a good sign of healing…," he paused to think about it. "I will let Mistress know you are asking."

"Thank you," she could at least be polite.

She heard Obi move to the inner door, knock, and be called in. She also heard him talking to Miss Shirayuki, though he spoke quietly. Ilena had been on hyper alert for so many years her hearing was no longer normal, or so the earldom support staff had always said. "Mistress, Miss Ilena is awake and asking for food. I have given her some water to drink already."

"Oh? Already? That is good." Shirayuki paused for thought. "I will prepare an herbal tea that has restorative properties and some nutrients in it. That should be sufficient for today, and not take too long to prepare. It is not likely she will be awake long enough for the kitchen to prepare anything. We can let them know to have something on hand for tomorrow."

"Thank you, Mistress. I will return to sit with her," Obi said.

He walked back into his room, leaving the door open slightly as an invitation to Shirayuki to come in when she was ready. Ilena could tell because the door did not click closed. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, calming herself. She and small rooms did not get along well.

"Asleep already?" Obi said over her.

She opened her eyes. "Was that a joke?" Ilena was seriously curious. It had actually sounded like he'd had a bit of teasing in his voice.

"Perhaps," he said noncommittally.

Amazing. "I...," she closed her mouth. What she had to say wouldn't matter.

"What is it?" he asked her, not letting her get away with it.

So she changed what she was going to say. "I think you have some questions for me?" It didn't fool him, she could see, but he went with the flow.

"I have lots of questions, of course," he settled into his chair and she turned her head to be able to see him. "However I'm never quite sure how long you will be awake. Do you know this time?"

Was he stalling for time to figure out which question to ask, or did he want to see what she would volunteer? "No," she answered obediently. She really was still at a point where she could only let her body do what it was going to do.

"Then let's start with, who prepared and gave Miss Alise the Little Death to give to you?"

Investigation, then. How to answer honestly without the details...would she be able to stay awake long enough for the full answer? Probably not, it was a long story. "The Earl's physician."

"I found the assassin dead by the hand of yet another assassin. He wasn't hard to find, so I assume he was left findable on purpose. Who is the third party that hired the second assassin?"

That was a surprising question. Ilena considered the options. "There are several possibilities, I guess. The Earl has more than one...associate who would like to see him fall."

"Are you one of them?"

Ilena allowed the surprise to register on her face. "I would think you would already know the answer to that. I do not hide my hatred of him, particularly at night. However, it wasn't me. As I said before, I was not privy to his plans, so could not prepare an appropriate counter-defense."

Obi tilted his head, "Defense?"

"I do not have the resources to attack anything, Master Obi."

"How long have you been on the Little Death?"

"Mmm...nine years, approximately?"

"Nine years!" Obi was visibly shocked.

"Nine years for what?" Shirayuki entered the room, carrying a slightly steaming cup.

"She says she's been on the Little Death for approximately nine years!"

Shirayuki stopped and the cup almost slipped from her grasp. "Nine...ye-ars. Oh, my."

Obi swiftly and carefully took the cup from Shirayuki, set it on his desk, and gave her his chair.

Ilena sighed internally. It looked like she was going to have to try to give the long story. And whatever was in the cup smelled good, too.

"Why are you not dead yet?" Obi asked his next question. It looked like it had been a burning curiosity for some time.

This time, Ilena actually sighed. "You are asking for the long answer. I cannot guarantee I can stay awake for the whole thing."

"Please try," this time it was Miss Shirayuki. She sounded like she had just, for her, given an order.

"Very well. May I please have a little of the tea, first, then?" If she didn't ask for some now, she might not get any. Obi obliged, giving her a few sips to the equivalent of a large gulp. She looked at them both, taking in the sight of them while waiting for Obi to set the cup back down.

"Beginning at the age of fourteen, Earl College took me with him whenever he left the earldom manor, saying he could no longer leave me with the rough men to watch over me. When I was fifteen we went with a small number of his men to Lyrias. He'd heard of a man who was a surgical researcher. To this day I don't know if he had a particular use for the man in mind or if he was just intrigued by the concept that there was a man who would cut up cadavers for fun. Perhaps he thought that if there was such a man, he would be more trustworthy - in the Earl's eyes - to handle the medical needs of the household, in that he wouldn't complain about the Earl's own...lifestyle."

"We could tell that he was, at some level, a pariah to the other researchers at Lyrias by the way they looked horrified that Earl College was even asking after the man. Looking around his laboratory, it was also obvious that he was sorely lacking in funding. He didn't have a patron, or was in the process of losing one, was my guess. I think both the Earl and I could tell he would cave fairly quickly if he could be convinced even against his morals. The Earl tried to fight and belittle his morals, and he only stood firmer. That was a good thing, in my eyes. Before he became too set against the idea, I interrupted the Earl and suggested that we give him time to consider the offer. The Earl agreed, and we left. Outside the laboratory, I offered to go back in and try once more to persuade the researcher. He looked at me with his wolf's smile. 'That's why I brought you along, dear Ilena,' he said."

"I wanted the researcher for my own purposes as I needed an ally to help the people of the household. So I approached him by telling him that directly. I admitted to him that Earl College was not a patron most people would want to accept. I asked him to allow Earl College to be his patron in providing a place, and plenty of bodies to research on, but to allow me to be his patron in that I would provide myself as a shield for him against the worst of Earl College's requirements. I would also provide in myself a living specimen for the final phase of his research - that is taking his theory to practice - provided it wouldn't result in my own death nor interrupt my own purposes. In return, he would be a shield with me between Earl College and the innocent members of the house who couldn't protect themselves."

Ilena paused to rest. Yes, this story was going to be too long, but she would give it her best. She felt hands on her and was surprised. Shirayuki was holding her head and offering her the cup again. She drank a little more. "Thank you," she said when Shirayuki let her go again and replaced the cup on the desk.

Shirayuki nodded, "Please continue if you can."

Ilena noticed Obi had an interesting soft look on his face as he looked at his Mistress. Ah, he loves her. She must be kind frequently. That is a good thing. She took a deep breath and continued.

"I was unable to convince him immediately, of course, so I didn't try. I merely asked him to consider it and told him the name of the inn we were staying at and when we would be leaving Lyrias. If he wished to come with us he should contact us before we left. I was relieved to see him enter the inn the next morning with his bag of instruments in hand. In this way, Doctor Elliot came to the Earldom of Farmore and became my ally in behalf of the household."

"Because Earl College's distrust of those around him is the cause of most of the damage to them, I asked the surgeon to help with this. After some time, he came to me and said he believed he'd found a potential solution and invited me to visit him at night. At the time, the Little Death had been recently introduced into Wilant, and a number of the Earl's men had begun taking it. Doctor Elliot showed me how those who take the drug talk in their sleep just before screaming. He explained that if given daily, they don't die, but continue to talk in their sleep. At the time it seemed very extreme to me. He explained that this was when the drug is taken straight, as several grains on the tongue. He believed that if it were taken as an infusion or tincture, the severity of the symptoms would be lessened. If Earl College could hear each night what his household members thought about, wouldn't that help to decrease his distrust, and calm him? Particularly if he believed that the unconscious words were truth?"

"As I could see how to speak so that Earl College might believe this, and we hadn't yet found any other possibilities in nearly an entire year, I decided that we might at least try the experiment. More and more of Earl College's bully men were using this drug, and he didn't really care whether they lived or died - just that there were enough to carry out his orders, so I agreed to allow the experimentation. As a matter of fact, because they were able to be more effective, he encouraged its use among his men. I confiscated all Little Death that came into the house and gave it to the Doctor. If the men wanted it, they had to participate in the experiment. After nearly three-quarters of a year of research to find just the right dosages for the sleep talking to be manifest with the least amount of other side-effects possible and the correct dosing for withdrawal without death, we spent the remainder of that year experimenting on me. I'm afraid that was a difficult thing for poor Doctor Elliot to sit through. On more than one occasion when I entered the lucidity phase, he had tears coursing down his face."

Ilena closed her eyes, remembering.

"You've been on the Little Death ever since then?"

"In the main." Ilena paused again. She could feel she didn't have much time left. How much more should she tell? "When we were ready, I approached Earl College and told him, 'I know you keep me by your side in the hopes that Wellesley will return for me and you'll be able to have him again then. You also know of my hatred for you and that I'm incapable of doing anything about it. But you cannot know of anything else I'm thinking or planning. If I were to give you a way to know that, would you find peace?' He was disbelieving but intrigued. I explained that because I would be taking a drug, and talking in my sleep, he could have confidence that I wouldn't be in control of what I was saying. He could then listen to me during the sleep talking phase and know what it was that was in my head. He liked the idea and agreed to it. I believe that first night it was more that he was thinking it would at least be a fun diversion."

"That evening, Earl College watched as the Doctor gave me my dose of the drug. He stayed in the room with me that night, but in the morning he was gone. When he came to the table late in the morning, he grinned widely. 'It's as you say, you love my little brother and hate me. The best part was getting to listen to you cry out in agony when the drug punished you after you told me these things.' He coldly ordered me to continue to take the drug. For many nights thereafter he was in my room every night at the time of the symptoms, waiting to hear what I would say."

"I've heard what you say in your sleep to and about him. How is it he didn't kill you?" Obi asked his burning question again.

Ilena smiled a tired smile. "Indeed. I did keep waiting to die, but I continued to awaken each morning. He didn't like hearing it night after night, but because it didn't change nor waver, it began to soothe his heart, as we'd hoped, and his daily language and attitude towards me became less threatening. Then came a day when he was furious at one of the men of the household and condemned the man to punishment. The man, innocent of the accused deed, pled with Earl College that he be allowed to take the same drug I'd been taking to prove his innocence, rather than to be punished. Earl College allowed it. I wasn't surprised by the plea of the innocent man as many household members were aware of the changes in Earl College towards me and why. I was pleasantly surprised that he was finally able to reign in his anger and consider the option. He was content after a few nights of listening to the man. After this, household members condemned to punishment began to plead for this option regularly, until many were, on their own, going to Doctor Elliot or myself and requesting that they be able to take the drug before coming under Earl College's displeased eye. We strove to find the best doses for the young and aged who came to us, and we were sure to never give a stronger dose than necessary to any of them, in the main keeping the dose low enough to cause a minimum amount of pain. Though I worried for them in this, they said the pain of the drug was worth the cost to prevent the pain of the Earl's punishment."

"The Earl's punishment is worse than the pain of the drug?" Shirayuki was disbelieving.

"Yes, Miss Shirayuki, very much so," Ilena answered soberly.

"Mistress, the first night you experienced this drug Ilena was reliving her own punishment by the Earl, ...by what she was saying in her sleep talking that night," Obi recovered from almost giving himself away. "If you recall, her pain that night was severe."

Shirayuki nodded, going a little pale.

Ilena paused, resting and putting the remainder of her thoughts together. "As more and more people chose to 'give away all their secrets' at night, and Earl College could enter any room at night to hear what they were, he became much calmer and the household began to function more ably as a result. This allowed my overall influence on the house to be seen by Earl College, and he assigned me to be his steward. After a time, he began to order certain people to stop taking the drug. He no longer wished to hear their 'babble', as he put it, and he knew he could make them take it again anytime he ordered it. Eventually most of the household was quiet again. He didn't allow me to ever go off the drug, however, nor did I ever request to. In this manner we were able to maintain a sort of truce. He could trust me as long as I took the drug, and I could control him to a degree as a result. However, he's finally cast me off, and I may finally be rid of the drug." She smiled at Shirayuki. "Thank you for helping me to do so."

"You're welcome," Shirayuki answered, almost automatically. She looked at Ilena, who was fading. It had taken a lot to tell that story. "Are you able to finish the tea, Miss Ilena?"

Ilena roused slightly. "I would like that, please."

Shirayuki lifted her head again and gave her the last of the restorative tea. "We'll have some pottage ready for you when you wake again. It will be good to have you building up your strength again."

"Thank you." Ilena was very quickly asleep thereafter.

-o-o-o-

"What an amazing story, Obi," Shirayuki looked at him, her eyes wide.

He nodded, "Amazing enough to make you wonder if it's really true."

She shook her head, almost upset with him. "Obi, you're too distrusting. She wouldn't have told a story that long and involved if it weren't true. She's too weak and tired still for making up such a thing. I don't think a lie would be worth such an effort."

"You are right, of course, Mistress. I'm sorry." Obi was quick to apologize. Almost too quick. It made Shirayuki feel like she was being pandered to and she glared at him. When he noticed her glare, he changed the subject. "Ah, Mistress, speaking of being hungry, it's time for our lunch. Shall we go and find it?"

While she wasn't done being upset with him, she didn't see that continuing would have a point. She put her hood up to hide her hair and they left the room. As they walked to slip into the kitchen unseen by the soldiers just drifting in for lunch, Shirayuki remembered that Obi and Ilena were likely family from a young age. She wondered if he'd been in that household as well. He had talked as if he understood about the pain of the 'punishment' of the Earl. After they'd put in their request for some pottage to be ready for the next day and collected their lunches, they returned to the surgery wing to eat their lunch in the small courtyard that was surrounded by the halls of the wing. It was one of the few times they allowed themselves to get out of their rooms.

Finally Shirayuki worked up the courage to ask, "Obi, were you ever punished by the Earl?"

He was silent for a while, but she hadn't really thought he'd be willing to talk about it. He finally answered, though. "Yes, and by his father multiple times." She turned to him in surprise and dismay, but he put up a hand forestalling her. "...Miss Ilena has always been that way, from the time I knew her." Shirayuki held still, amazed Obi was willing to talk to her about it, scared if she moved he would stop. "The pain from those times no longer exists for me because she was there to remove it, so Mistress doesn't need to worry for me." He smiled encouragingly at her.

"Obi...so you believe her story?"

He was thoughtful, perhaps a little...sad? "...Yes, I think I do. It isn't unlike her character, as I knew it then, to wish to help the people of the household and protect them. Many of the other things she describes about the Earl hold true to my memory and understanding. I think it's that I don't wish to believe the method she and Doctor Elliot chose to use. The Little Death is not a drug to be used lightly."

Shirayuki didn't think they had used it lightly, and likely Obi didn't believe that either. It was something else. "It's hard to know someone you care about has had to go through great pain and difficulty." She wanted to reach out and touch his pain away, but withheld out of respect. Obi looked at the ground. Shirayuki wanted to support him, but what could she say? "Miss Ilena will be off of it finally very soon, and Zen will place her where she can be safe from it happening again. I'm glad, for your sake, you're able to be a part of helping to release her from that pain she has carried."

Obi looked up at her, then smiled, "Thank you, Mistress. You are always too kind." He stood up and stretched. "Well, I have a lot to write about to Master now. Poor Obi's hand is going to fall off." He held out his hand to her to help her up from the ground. She accepted it, standing, and as she did so, she hoped he understood that she did care for him and wanted to see him happy.

-o-o-o-

Obi saw his Mistress to her room, then returned to the courtyard. He stood there briefly, then went up on the roof to the place where he could look out over the hills towards the direction of the castle. Master, what am I to do? He sat and thought of a lot of nothing for a while. His orders held him still, but his inner confusion called to him to run in the direction he was looking. Am I too close to this to be of use to Master? If my emotions can't be controlled, how can I be effective? Finally he sighed and stood in preparation to return to his room. He would just have to tell Master what had happened, how it had affected him, and let Master decide. He would interrogate Miss Ilena again tonight during the sleep talking and then send his report.