Heey guys!
So before you start reading I just really wanted to give a big THANK YOU to everyone who had either added this story to their favorites, followed or reviewed my story, seriously you guys made my day! You make me want to keep writing more! Now I'll shut up, so you can all read in peace!
Enjoy!
Dear diary, it is thankfully Friday. It's been a very long week, after the whole knock-out-Hilary and towel incident the rumors went crazy, some even said I killed Hilary with an axe, stark-naked. That's so messed up, right? Like where would I get an axe? Anyways the idea of spending my Friday afternoon with Jacob seemed to help me get through the week…
"My sister hates me!" I sighed, standing in Jacob's kitchen, a cup of hot tea in my hands. Jacob raised his eyebrows at my exaggeration.
"Okay actually she doesn't, I just really think I embarrassed her with the whole knocking out Hilary and towel-thing" I said, I know I didn't exactly knock her out, but she had been out of school for the rest of the week because of a concussion.
"Well you can't really blame her can you? I mean people were even talking about it out here" Jacob said, and I recalled the smirk on his face as he had opened the door. 'Hey Miss towel-girl' he had teased, and I had just rolled my eyes…
"I know! It's so horrifying, I mean talk about bad luck" I said, and shook my head. On my last school I had been quite liked, until that horrible accident which killed Jason had happened. After that I was known as the dead boy's crazy girlfriend, because I one day had gotten a little overdramatic in class when we were dissecting frogs. I just couldn't help thinking about the poor little thing, killed for us to learn. And then I started thinking about Jason's autopsy and I might've had a minor breakdown.
"Bella will come around though, don't you think?" Jacob asked, pulling me out of my thoughts. I almost felt the need to shake my head, just to clear it.
"Yeah" I said, then smiled as reassuringly as I could manage "she always does" I added.
Jacob pulled the motorbike out of the garage, and I tried to hide my fear. It's okay, it's all right, I told myself, I was never really a big fan of them, I heard about too many accidents I guess.
"You, eh want me to get on that thing?" I asked, feeling frozen a couple feet away.
"Yeah, why?" Jacob asked, handing me a helmet, I could barely move my fingers to put it on. Jacob noticed and grinned at me, and helped me put it on. As his soft skin brushed mine, for just a moment all my fear went away.
"You can do this, Alys" he said, and I nodded, knowing it probably didn't look all that convincing.
"You're right. Yes. I can do this" I said, and walked stiffly to the bike. I let one hand run over the seat, and forced a deep breath. Jacob started laughing.
"Wow, you and Bella really are complete opposites. She jumped right on that thing, without even hesitating" something about that sentence nagged me, but I couldn't quite put a finger on what. Maybe it was the fact that Bella had rode with Jake before me, or maybe that she'd seemed braver.
"Hop on" Jake said, sitting down first, and I quickly followed, not letting myself use too much time thinking about this, knowing I'd instantly back out.
"Are you ready?" Jake said, I felt my tongue tie and just gave him a thumbs up "Hold on!" he said, and I wrapped my arms as tightly around him as possible, and then we drove.
I felt like I was flying, the green forest flew by me so quick, it all turned into one big line of green and brown colors. I was surprised to find myself enjoying it, part of me knew the fact that I was pressed as tightly as possible to Jacob probably helped that one, but still it was actually fun!
"Alyssa?" it wasn't until Jake nudged me, that I dared open my eyes "We've arrived" he told me, his voice soft, and I gladly climbed off the bike.
"How was it?" he asked, looking way too worried for a situation like this. I just shrugged.
"Not too bad actually, though I will prefer driving my Herbie" I said, and Jake's worried expression was instantly replaced by an easy smile.
"Hey Kids!" Earl called the second he saw us, and smiled widely. Jake and I smiled back.
"Hey Earl" Jacob greeted him, and I just nodded.
"You shouldn't be driving such a dangerous thing you know" he said, nodding towards the bike. A sly smile formed on my lips, Jacob pretended he didn't notice.
"Here are the money" I said, and handed him the envelope of money. I felt like some junkie in a mafia movie. Earl counting them, only made my image more realistic.
"Right, let's get you your car" Earl said, and we followed him into the same garage as we had been in before. And there it was, my beautiful little Herbie. Earl handed me the key and told me to 'stay cool', yeah he's weird like that.
"I guess I'll see you at home" I said, sad that we couldn't go together.
"If you want to, we could put the bike in the trunk, and drive together" Jake suggested. I felt like jumping into his arms and kissing him. A/N I know it would be very hard in real life to fit a bike into a VW bubble, but just bear with me on this one!
"That'd be great" I said, and behaved. Jake lifted the bike into the trunk, and I went to place my bag in the backseat. Jake got inside, and as I got in, I noticed a small gift on the driver's seat. I looked at Jake surprised.
"What's that?" I asked excited, Jake grinned at my voice.
"Open it" he said, and I did. Inside was a "Herbie" key chain. I giggled as I saw it.
"It's silly I know, but I found it, and thought it'd be a fun gift" he said, and shrugged.
"It's so cute, I cannot believe you did this! Thank you!" I gushed, and kissed his cheek without even thinking. He looked all weird for a sec, but then a brilliant smile came across his face.
I started driving, afraid of the awkwardness that might come, if I didn't.
"You're not much like Bella, are you?" Jake suddenly asked, breaking the silence. The side of my mouth twisted, so that I was half-smiling.
"No, I am the extreme opposite of Bella" I said, and realized something. Bella was his best friend, would that make it weird for him to be mine too?
"That's good" he said, to my very surprise.
"Don't you like Bella?" I asked, surprise filling my voice.
"Of course I do!" He hurried, clearly not wanting me to get the wrong idea "She's my best friend" he said "It's just…eh how to put it" he started "It's nice that you have your own personality...that kinda thing, you know?" he said, I smiled.
"Yeah, I know" I said.
"I want to ask you something" he said, and I raised an eyebrow.
"What?" I asked, intrigued.
"Well I would like to know everything about you, but I am not gonna ask what your favorite song is. I want to know something someone who really knows you would know"
"I hate butterflies" I blurted, it was the first thing that popped into my mind, don't ask me why. He got this really strange look on his face, and I felt the need to reassure him.
"I'm not kidding" I said, and he looked beyond surprised.
"Everyone likes butterflies" he argued "At least every girl" he said.
"I don't, their creepy and hairy and eww-ish" I said, and he chuckled.
"You are extraordinary" he breathed, shaking his head. My heart skipped a beat.
"What do you like then?" he asked, I smiled as I thought about it.
"Herbie here of course" I answered, and patted the steering wheel, this made him smile.
He kept asking me questions, and when we arrived at his house, it was like he knew me better than I knew myself. He seemed very interested as I kept going on and on about stupid facts about myself. I felt like I was just babbling on, but he listened as if his life depended on it.
We got out of the car, and he pulled the bike out of the trunk. I waited as he went into his garage, and watched him as he walked back to me.
"Can I show you somewhere?" he asked me, the eager clear in his eyes.
"Yeah sure" I said, and handed him the keys, he smiled approvingly, and we started driving again.
"Are you and Bella close?" he asked then, I had been lost in thought, and this question shook me back to reality.
"Yes…or we used to be" I said, and looked at my hands "We've drifted apart as we've grown" there was a sadness in my voice I couldn't deny. No matter how strange I was acting with Bella, I couldn't pretend I didn't miss her.
"I know the feeling. My sister, Rebecca, has just moved to Hawaii with her husband. She's 19" he said, it was clear by his voice that he disapproved.
"Wow 19" was the only comment I could manage right now, she was so young!
"And my other sister, Rachel, has just gotten impr-" he stopped talking "Sorry, it's too easy to talk to you" he said, and shrugged it off. But I was stubborn.
"You can tell me anything" I promised him, and met his deep almost black eyes. They had a longing in them, like he wanted so badly to tell me.
"I can't. At least not yet anyway" he whispered, his voice made it clear that he didn't like it.
"I can wait" I said, and he looked relieved at me.
"You're kinda amazing, you know" he said, and I blushed and looked away.
"Thank you, you're sort of too" I said, and looked down, surprised at my own honesty.
I looked up as the car came to a stop, and gasped. In front of me was an incredibly beautiful view of the ocean, the cliffs and the beach. The picture was amazing. I walked out of the car, and walked to the edge of the cliff, the wind was hard; making the waves hit the cliff violently. The beach met the edge of the forest with such clearness; it was a treat to look at.
"It's so beautiful" I muttered stunned, and found Jake by my side.
"I found this myself, you're the first one I showed it to" he confessed, my heart melted.
"Oh Jake" I wanted to say more, but couldn't find the right words.
I didn't expect myself to do it, so when I lifted myself up, and laid one hand on his chest, I was surprised. I leaned in, and softly pressed my lips to his.
The way our lips moved together was like magical, I've never had a kiss like this one, it was like our lips was shaped so they matched, like a puzzle that finally was finished.
When the kiss ended, we both had a hard time breathing.
"Oh wow" I muttered, and touched my lips. It felt like the blood under them was boiling.
"That's an understatement" he whispered softly, and brushed a strain of hair away from my face. I felt like I was on fire. He then pressed his lips to mine, and kissed me harder this time, wrapping his arms around my waist, closing whatever space was left between us.
I couldn't keep a smile off my face, as I looked down blushing. I was afraid of moving my eyes to look at him, afraid he'd disapprove of what I had just done. But as he put a finger under my chin, and lifted my gaze to his, his eyes were full of love as he smiled down on me.
"I have a feeling" he started, then cleared his throat "That it is so easy to love you" he continued softly.
"You are free to try" I said, just as softly. His finger brushed my cheek, leaving a trail of heat behind.
"Do you want me to?" he asked, I picked up a bit of fright in his voice.
"I want you" I confessed, and looked into his black eyes. He pressed his lips to mine once again.
"I love you" he whispered, tears of happiness welled up in my eyes. "But there's something you have to know" his change of tone was so abruptly, I took a step back.
"Okay" I said, my voice shook a bit.
"I have to show you something" he whispered, the same tone of fright as before was yet again in his voice.
He took my hand; it seemed like a habit by now. I followed him into the forest, and when we reached a neat little clearing he turned to me.
"Alyssa" he said, then took a deep breath "I'm not...normal, I am something you thought wouldn't exist, something that might scare you away. I want you to remember that I really truly love you" the honesty in his voice scared me.
"Jake, what are you talking about? I don't understand. You're kinda freaking me out" I said desperately. He sighed, and kissed me for what I was afraid was the last time.
"Please try and understand" he whispered, and then walked up behind a tree.
"Jake what are you-?" my voice broke, as a massive reddish brown wolf walked towards me. I gasped and took a step back. There was something about the wolf's eyes, I seemed to recognize them. My head spun. It was like I was trying to make the connection, and some part of me already had, but tried to deny it. It didn't make sense, it wasn't logical. It just couldn't be.
"Ja-Jake?!" I gasped, the wolf's big head nodded, and then the wolf walked away, and Jake appeared. I took a few steps back, and tried not to notice the hurt look in his eyes. My heart was racing, but not in the good way it had been just a few minutes ago.
"This is too much, I can't... I just can't, I don't know how- I...gotta go" I babbled, and then turned around and ran away from him.
The wind had picked up, making tears fall from my eyes. At least that was the excuse I used.
As I was driving home, my hands were shaking so much, I had to pull in. I closed my eyes, and tried to breathe normally. Now would normally be the time where I pinched my arm, to see if I was dreaming. But what had just happened seemed all too real, and I was terrified that the pinching might hurt meaning…this is real.
But it couldn't be! Werewolves or whatever the hell Jacob had just showed me he was did not exist! How could they?
I had to be dreaming, I told myself as I drove on and finally made it home.
The rain was pouring down, and I was soaked just walking from my car to the house. I was shaking more than I had before, but I wasn't sure what was to blame, the rain or the giant wolf?
My dad's cruiser wasn't in the driveway, so at least I didn't have to worry about him seeing me like this, but there was of course always Bella. And just as I thought that, she arrived from the stairs. Her whole face looked twisted into a grimace of worry, she took in the state of me, and handed me the towel she was holding. It was almost like she had been expecting me.
"Jacob called" she said simply, as I dried my hair. I avoided looking in her eyes, and tried to sound normal.
"Oh" was all I could say. I could feel her staring me down, but didn't dare look up.
"I know he told you what he is, Lyss" she said, and that made me look at her. Did she really just say what I think she said?
"I know this can be scary, Alyssa, believe me. But if you ever want to talk about it, I'm here. Jacob being a werewolf might seem shocking but-"
"Might seem shocking?" I cut her off, my voice hysteric "This is absolutely crazy! You know me, I don't even believe in ghosts or spirits or seeing auras or anything a teeny tiny bit more usual than this!" I was screaming, but I really didn't care. How could she act so calm about all of this?
"Lyss, I understand that, and I know you. But-"
"No! There is no but! This is too weird! I cannot deal with this! My head, it just won't…listen I have enough crap going on already! Jason died! As in he's gone, forever! I can't do this…I'm not strong enough" I sat down, defeated. I put buried my face in my hands, and ignored the tears streaming down my face. Crying had seemed to fill a lot of time in my life the last few months. I felt a small hand on my back, and Bella sat down beside me.
"Listen, I know how scary this all seems, and I know you're terrified right now. But Lyss you're one of the bravest and strongest people I have ever met, if there ever is a crisis you would be the first person I would turn to. If anyone can do this, I'd say you'd be the very best girl for the job" Bella spoke in a very calm voice, and it seemed to rub off on me. I felt myself calm down, and I managed to catch my breath.
Dear diary, I have never been writing in you this late before, but today is kind of a special day. I just realized something, which I thought you'd be the perfect one to share with; in the end of the day, all we can do is keep breathing. When we do so we might realize life isn't worth living, or sometimes you can realize that everything you've been looking for, is everything you've got, and that can make one strong enough to survive tomorrow too. That's all for now, diary. I'll be back with an update soon.
Please remember to push the magic button just below!
Keep shining everyone!
Izzie :)
