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Chapter 4: Masks
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Hey everyone! I made a few changes to the Kylo chapter, adding a little more detail to his earlier circumstances. Just letting you know in case something seems out of place in the future.
Thank you to my reviewers, ManonVerandaz, Midwinter Sun, SoccerChick2011, and legend fanatic. I so appreciate it!
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"Remember Rey, we have great faith in you. You have proven day after day that you are everything we could have hoped for." Said the deep, smooth voice of the tall older Jedi with long hair and thoughtful eyes who had introduced himself as Qui-Gon.
Next to him, the tiny Jedi Master who spoke with the eminence of a thousand years and the most patient eyes said, "Do this, we believe you can."
The forth man, young and handsome with serious, sharp features nodded and added, "Kylo Ren is on his way. We are going to go and tell Luke our plans with you… Thank you, Rey. May the Force be with you."
Rey watched them each bow to her, her eyes a little bleary from emotion and lack of sleep since the very early morning, and her chest weightless with awe and appreciation of everything these men had revealed to her, shared with her, and entrusted her with in the last couple of hours. Feeling slightly awkward for the recognition and her unfamiliarity with the movement, she emulated their bow back to them as earnestly as she felt she could. They each smiled at her, supportively and forbearingly in their own way, then disappeared.
She rose from the bed. Looking at the clock on the bedside table she saw it was 6:53 A.M. Two hours had passed since she first saw Obi-Wan before the other Jedi Masters joined them. She looked around, noticed the door next to her bed and curiously walked through it.
She flinched at what she saw in the room as the light came on. There was a large mirror covering the wall with a reflection of herself. Since she could remember she had only looked into a mirror a handful of times, and the last was probably 3 years ago. She had never needed one, nor really cared what she saw, so she never kept one. Looking now though, she looked much older than she had expected, still covered in sweat-condensed smears of dust and sand from Jakku. Her eyes, though tired, looked determined and sharp. And yet, the lines of her face somehow looked tranquil and just barely, softly, glowing; hinting it was a face that would not be hard to draw smiles from.
Despite what she had experienced in the past few days, speaking with Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, Yoda and Anakin had brought her great relief and no small sense of elation.
They had told her that Finn was alive, healing, which greatly consoled her fluttering heart.
They also told her many things about her past, what was happening in the world around her, and her new objective. These revelations were accompanied by information that stirred many emotions, balancing happiness with apprehension. This objective she had been asked to consider was ominous, though it led to the most positive outcome any of them could expect from the current paradigm into which Snoke had woven the New Republic, the First Order, and the Resistance. A very great threat loomed above the path the Jedi Masters asked her to take. She would have to sail very, very close a supermassive black hole and not be reached by its powerful gravitational pull. But they told her that they believed she could succeed, and they promised they would be there to see her through.
Though she knew she should be doubtful, the sincerity they each demonstrated in their eyes, their voices, and their posture, as well as the purling, soft waves of the Force that surrounded them and enveloped her in a bath of serenity, assured her.
Never once had she stolen salvage from another scavenger, hurt an attacker more than absolutely necessary for self-defense, or withheld offering her miniscule supply of food of water to another who would succumb without it. The Jedi Masters told her how they had seen this, even when she hadn't fully recognized it herself. They said it was how they had the faith they believed was necessary to ask her to do this thing: to train with Kylo Ren and gain his trust.
Exhaling deeply, she walked to the sink below the mirror, recognizing its function from the ships she had been on, and splashed her face with water, rinsing away the grime.
As she dried her face with her sash she felt Kylo Ren approach down the hallway.
He knocked on the door and waited on the other side.
Somewhat bewildered by the polite formality, she hesitated before taking the 10 seconds to walk across the giant room illuminated from the floor. When she got to the door, she heard, in her mind, not a probe or anything that felt evasive, just a delivered question,
"Can I come in?" His tone was genuine, plain.
"Yes." She thought back, marveling at the ability to communicate just through the Force, but remembering how Yoda had indicated that the Force was not a toy or a servant. Jedi do not use the Force unless necessary to train themselves, or defend themselves or help others. But, Yoda had added that those conditions entailed anything she might need to do to give Kylo confidence in her cooperation, and eventually place his trust in her.
The electron shields released and the door swooped open. She found herself looking at Kylo's asymmetrical, intelligent face that bared an inquisitive tone. It might have been handsome if it was someone else's.
"You're not wearing a mask." She said.
"No." He responded curtly, then said, "Please step back."
She did and he entered the room, she just noticed, holding two plates of some kind of food. The door closed and shields reactivated behind him.
"You need to eat." He said, walking past her a few steps, then sinking gracefully into a cross-legged seating position. She was amazed at how lithe he was for his height and lean-muscular build. He set the plates down, one for him and one for her. She met his gaze, which was still curious and composed, then walked over and sat in front of him.
"I wear the mask to create a sense of detachment and authority." He elaborated.
Rey noticed a tinge in his Force signature when he said 'detachment', but he kept speaking so she couldn't dwell on it.
"If you become my apprentice, I won't need it."
She didn't know how to respond to this, even though she had already agreed to someone else that she would do so.
Something about her face though made Kylo smile, although almost imperceptibly. "You've thought about it?"
"Yes… I will." Rey said, slowly, but deliberately.
She could sense Kylo's body tense, but his barely evident smile betrayed his thoughts.
He didn't respond for a moment, just considered her face. Finally he exhaled and moved to a new subject as if nothing had been said. "This is Mandalorian afenca pastry. " He said, impassively indicating at the dish. "You'll like it." He removed a glove and reached down to pick up the utensil and take a bite.
Rey watched his long, elegant fingers for a second, then resigned herself to her decision from this morning and followed suit.
The pastry was the most delicious thing she could remember eating. Fluffy layers of some bread held a balance of an unknown tangy fruit and creamy cheese. She eyed him after her first bite, expecting him to say something, but his eyes were on his food, chewing thoughtfully, so she finished the pastry as quickly as she could, savoring it nonetheless.
When she was done, he pushed his half-uneaten plate away and regarded her. "Will you tell me how you are now? I'm not going to look into your mind again, unless I need to."
"What would constitute needing to?" She countered.
His trace of a smile disappeared. "Doing something stupid. Like trying to escape. Which, I should tell you; we implanted a tracking device in you yesterday. I'm sorry for the invasion but it was a necessary precaution. If we find you've left Mannassar, here, without permission, The Supreme Leader or I can make it explode, which will kill you." He paused then said, showing sincerity, "Please don't try."
Rey felt his genuineness. She decided not to address the tracker, already half-expecting it.
She also took a moment to consider what he said about not entering her mind again. He seemed sincere. More so, from all of his actions, his words, even his thoughts that she had observed in the cell on Starkiller Base, he seemed honest in accordance with some perception he held for himself of dignity. She sensed that he pursued truth and required it before making a decision on how to proceed in his ambitions. He may be volatile like his reverberating, sparking lightsaber, but he was not a liar or deceitful.
So, if what he said about staying out of her mind was true, she would do the same. She would not trespass or steal from him. She could not internally respect him because of what he had done; what he wants to do, but she would treat him with respect as a reflection of herself.
Then, deciding this of her future with him, she considered what this future would entail.
"What will my life here be like then?"
He shifted, perhaps surprised by her allowance of his admission and then her directness. "It depends on you. Things can go many different ways." He paused, musing. "I hope that it will not be difficult for you to accept." Rey didn't respond, so then he asked, "How much do you know of the Force?"
"Almost nothing. Only what I've heard the Jedi can do, which I used to think were fairy tales: levitation, mind-tricks, increased speed and strength." She paused then said, "I had no idea you can feel people in the Force, or look into their minds." Her gaze darkened at that.
He nodded, not responding. Then he stood up and looked around the room, analyzing the gently humming glass ceiling full of rich blue and stars. "I know you have been told what it is: an energy that is composed from all living things and connects everything. But, there are two theoretical sides to the Force. The Light Side, which the Jedi used, and the Dark. There are many different historical theories of what constitutes the two sides. Some say it the two sides are inherently different and separate. Others say it depends entirely on the intentions of the user; whether the Force is being used for good or evil purposes." He sneered as he said evil, but watched Rey's face as he spoke, and she tried to show him nothing.
"I don't subscribe to any theory that the Force is either good or evil," he continued slowly. "And I don't want you to waste your time thinking about good or evil. Just think about what is right; what can create the most opportunity for peace."
Rey was surprised by this recognition of peace, but continued watching him silently, despite the objections that ran through her mind of exactly how evil he might be, and how wrong he was.
"Don't waste your time categorizing something whole and pure like the Force into compartments of good or bad that will keep your attention away from where it needs to be. Just trust yourself; trust your emotions and how they react to what the world tells you."
He sat back down in from of her, watching her carefully.
"I want you to meditate for awhile. Feel your emotions, feel how the Force responds to them, growing more powerful and more submissive to certain ones." He finished speaking and waited expectantly, apparently done speaking.
Rey breathed in deeply, resigned, and closed her eyes. She knew she would have to do this in earnest. Even though Kylo said he would not go into her mind unnecessarily, a reflexive part of her doubted everyone, especially him. Still she closed her eyes and tried to focus on what she was feeling.
Over the next half-hour a myriad of emotions paraded through her, eventually slipping away after she considered each. She found it difficult to hold on to any one: fear, confusion, sadness, worry, curiosity, anxiety, calmness, and subtle anger. Perhaps it was because Kylo sat five feet in front of her, also meditating. She never did feel him in her mind though, like she had before on Starkiller Base. The sensation was like him reaching into a deep, full chest of things, rummaging around, repositioning them with his graceful, deft hands.
Finally, she settled on boredom, and as if sensing it without looking into her mind, Kylo spoke.
"Would you like to take a walk?"
Her eyes flew open to his face, which was completely sincere in its question.
"Sure." She said simply, surprised he would offer to let her leave her cell, whatever they called it. But she remembered the tracker and felt bitterness crawl into her mouth.
He stood and walked back to the door. After hesitating, she followed him. He led her into the hallway, back into the lift, then into a long and empty passageway between cavernous rooms and intricately decorated hallways full of art and windows. They only passed one other being as they went, a hooded, masked figure crossing the opposite end of a room who looked briefly at them. Rey did not recognize this person, and Kylo made no notice of him or her.
Finally, they stepped outside into a courtyard rimmed with exotic and impressive plant species. Though Rey had passed many hours here, on Mannassar, occasionally looking at the sky through the window, there had been no change to the color of the sky.
"Why doesn't the sky change color?" She asked.
Kylo looked over at her, then said, "Mannassar doesn't have a sun. The light of the sky is all from starlight."
Rey considered this, then her mind jumped to another thought. "Where were you born?"
"Yavin 4." Kylo said quietly.
"What did the planet look like?"
"It was beautiful. The landscape was mostly jungles and forest." He glanced at her, as if remembering something, and added "Much bigger than Takodana, but more rain. There was a lot of semi-sentient life on it, and huge oceans."
"What is your favorite planet?" Rey asked. She just wanted to know more of the Galaxy she hadn't seen, even if it was coming from a predator who ignored good and evil to justify his purposes.
"Mortis" Kylo said finally.
"Why?"
"It was more beautiful. And special."
Sensing that he didn't want to be probed further, she didn't ask why, but noticed how he specified was.
They had walked fully into the white prairie, which was glowing and hauntingly beautiful under the dusk sky. She looked at him and he held her gaze for a second before quickly looking away.
"Tell me about Jakku." Kylo said.
Rey glanced at him, knowing he couldn't possibly be interested in the trash heap, but spoke anyway. "It's beautiful too, in its own way; especially at night, when the sky looks like here. If it's summer I love to sleep in the sand because it's cooler than the air. At noon the sand sometimes reflects the sunlight so strongly it looks like milk. There are these really beautiful little white birds that look like water when they fly in flocks. And there are some flowers that grow north of the sinking fields that are the deepest crimson and blue I have ever seen."
Kylo watched her as she spoke, his lips slightly parted. "You've never told me how you feel." He said, indicating no emotion.
"Why do you want to know?"
"To have some idea of how you actually feel about this, about everything. To have an idea of what to expect from you."
Rey inhaled a deep breath. Would he sense it if she lied? She felt for him, looking for clues on if he was tapping into her consciousness. But the waves of his Force signature didn't brush hers; she could definitely feel a separation between them unlike when it swelled and coursed through her with simmering intensity in the interrogation room on Starkiller Base.
"I don't know." She finally settled on. "I'm just choosing the only course available to me, and I don't have any idea what your plan is, so I don't know how to feel about it." She hesitated, almost said something about how she was kind, considerate, not malicious, but stopped herself.
"You're afraid I'm going to change you." Kylo said quietly, stopping and turning to her.
"Are you?" Rey asked.
Kylo looked at her deeply, but also as through he was deep in thought. His face, if possible, looked pained in reaction to the question.
"I just want to show you my point of view. I think, if you saw it, you wouldn't think of me the way you do."
She considered this for a moment, curious. "What is your point of view?"
"I'll tell you later." He said, firming his jaw. "We should go back. You need to rest; you're exhausted. I'll get you some historical holocrons to pass some time." He paused, then added, a flicker of ardor in his eyes, "We'll continue our training this evening. I want to see what you're capable of physically." Then he turned and led her back to Snoke's compound in silence.
As she followed him, allowing his silence, she tried to consider what was happening to her, who this black robed person in front of her was. But she felt like she was only staring into the surface of the lake or the edge of the forest on Takodana, where she first met him. There was so much hidden from view.
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