Disclaimer: …
Horde of Lawyers: We're waiting…
Sage Lightning: Alright, alright, sheesh. I own nothing, absolutely nothing in this story. Anyways… I LIVE! Sorry about the wait, but I had lost my internet connection (which isn't even mine, it's a wireless signal from who knows where). And thank you, fans, for making this my most successful story so far. I only hope I can live up to your expectations.
Chapter Three: Revenge of the Apprentices
Previously on Lord Voldemort vs. Emperor Palpatine…
Jedi Master Revan walked towards Darth Malak, his lightsaber glowing a bright yellow. He suddenly stopped and looked at the Star Forge's celing, before complaining: "We aren't a part of your parody, so get the (censored!) out of KOTOR!"
How rude…
The Author suddenly hacked into the game, making Darth Malak gain 9001 attack.
"Ha ha ha! Now I am invincible!" Malak roared triumphantly.
"Aww…damn it!" Revan groaned.
Previously on Lord Voldemort vs. Emperor Palpatine (for real this time)…
Palpatine lifted his head after blacking out momentarily, looking at the mess of tangled wires and broken steel his prized spaceship had become. He began to lose his temper…and then two voices simultaneously shouted, "SNAPE/VADER! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, YOU INCOMPETENT FOOL!
And now, the continuation…
Little Hangleton, Riddle Manor…
Voldemort frowned while brushing bits of metal off of his robe. "Was that…"
He walked up to the crashed spaceship and looked through a hole in its hull. Voldemort immediately recognized who was inside.
"YOU!"
"YOU!" Palpatine shouted back while climbing out of his spaceship.
Lord Voldemort drew his wand and shouted "AVADA KEDAVRA!", while the Emperor Palpatine flung his Sith Lightning at him.
The two attacks met halfway between them, but instead of ricocheting off each other, a priori incantantem-like effect occurred. A hole in the space time continuum opened again, but luckily nothing seemed to come out of the rip.
After about five minutes, the two evil masterminds gave up their struggle.
Voldemort managed to catch his breath first, and said, "Well, it seems that we are about equal in strength."
Palpatine replied, "Then why don't we make our apprentices fight?"
Voldemort put his hand on his chin thoughtfully, and then said, " He's not my apprentice, but why not? Snape, fight this enemy's apprentice if you want to live!"
Snape stepped forward, muttering to himself: "That seems at least partially contradictory…"
Voldemort suddenly turned his wand on Snape. "I heard that! CRUCIO!"
While Snape twitched on the floor, Palpatine ordered Vader to fight Snape.
"As you wish, master." Darth Vader said.
Vader turned his lightsaber on and lunged at Snape. Snape, however, managed to launch a legilimency mind attack at Darth Vader, paralyzing him with a headache.
"Oww! My freakin' head!" Vader roared as Snape got to his feet.
Snape looked throught the memoried that he had gleaned from the half-robotic Sith's head. He grinned as he found a memory that could be exploited. But it would have to wait, because Vader had recovered from his headache, and had started to force choke him.
As Snape began to gurgle from the lack of air, the Emperor started to cackle some more.
" Is that all you're capable of?" Voldemort jested, obviously ignoring Snape. "Cackling?"
Palpatine's wicked smile slid off his face for a moment, before returning. "You're one to talk! Your apprentice sucks! HA HA HA!"
While the masters were arguing, Snape had come to a realization, and was hoping it would help him survive this encounter.
" Vader…" Snape gurgled, "We have…similar pasts…I read…your mind…why can't we…work together…to kill our masters?"
Darth Vader stopped force choking Snape. He thought about Snape's offer for a few moments, and then decided, "Sounds like a good plan but how can we pull that off?"
Snape looked at the rip in space/time. "I have another good idea…"
Chuck Norris Fan Club H.Q., Austin, Texas... (I made that up)
The leader of said fan club paced around his office, muttering to himself, "How can I build a multi-dimensional transporter?"
Suddenly a bright flash blinded him for a second, and when he regained his sight, he saw a man wearing a cloak, and a robotic looking man.
Snape raised an eyebrow at the man's confusion, before asking, "Would you be interested in a chance to kill Voldemort?"
For the Chuck Norris Fan Club, Christmas had come early.
Back at Little Hangleton...
The two villians continued to argue over whose apprentice was the strongest, while somehow missing the fact that Snape and Vader had left that universe.
"Snape can kill people in an instant, fool!" Voldemort yelled at Palpatine.
"Well... Darth Vader has a really cool lazer sword! Beat that!" Palpatine retorted.
As Voldemort opened his mouth to beat that, the dimensional rift opened again. Snape, Vader, and 1,000 angry Chuck Norris fans, most of them around the mansion, appeared out of it. Palpatine and Voldemort stopped arguing immediately.
"What's this?" Voldemort demanded.
Vader shook his head slightly, "We're tired of you two always treating we apprentices like dirt! Master, looks like I don't have to die in order to say…I QUIT!
"Attack!" Snape ordered the enraged fans.
To be continued…
