Chapter 4

The next weekend came by remarkably quickly in Temari's opinion. Seriously, one minute it was Monday and the day was just dragging on, then she blinked and it was Friday.

That goblin stole the time again… Evil goblin…

Not because it stole the time, but because it stole other things… like socks… always the left sock… and weekends (Okay, that was time, but still)… and Temari's sobriety whenever there was a whiff of alcohol (She did NOT have a low alcohol tolerance.)… airtime… Temari's sanity whenever she was around Shikamaru… Temari's sanity full stop…

Wait… how did those last two things get in there? Huh…

One thing it didn't steal was period cramps… but Temari didn't have to worry about those for the next few months, did she now…

She wasn't complaining.

Really.

Whistling- or attempting to, anyway- she opened the front door. Secchan, as usual, was already home, and had forgotten to lock the door.

"Temari. Stop whistling. You sound like a strangled parrot."

Well, speak of the devil.

And he shall appear.

Don't finish my quotes.

"I've showered. You have the bathroom to yourself for the next… well, for a while," Secchan told her.

"Thank you muchly, and I do not," Temari defended.

"Have you heard yourself lately? You do."

"You're such a bitch," Temari sighed.

"Just saving you from public humiliation," Secchan commented mildly.

"I'm meant to be thankful, aren't I?"

"Mmmhmm."

o0o0o0o

"Can we go can we go can we go can we go can we go can we go can we-"

"Secchan! Shut! Up! Oh my god, do you know how annoying that is?" Temari asked exasperatedly.

Secchan flashed her a bright grin. "Yep. That's exactly why I do it."

Temari rubbed her temple. "Figures."

"So, can we-"

"Yes, we can go," Temari cut her off.

"Yes!"

"Why are you so excited, anyway?"

Secchan shrugged. "Dunno. Nothing better to do. Sounds like it might be fun. You know me, I gravitate towards fun."

"Especially if drinking is involved," Temari remarked dryly.

"Yeah, funny that," Secchan agreed cheerfully.

Temari shook her head resignedly. "You're hopeless. A lost cause."

"That about describes me," Secchan grinned.

"That's not something to be proud about."

And so the two friends made their way out the door and to Shikamaru's 'surprise' birthday party.

o0o0o0o

Temari and Secchan walked into the bustling room. There was quite a lot of people packed into the large space, quite a few of whom Temari recognized from work.

"Temari!" Kiba shouted, walking over to them. "Glad you could come. That should cheer Shikamaru up. He's being a depressed mongoose," he told them confidentially.

Temari raised her eyebrows. "Depressed mongoose?" But her query was lost on Kiba who had just caught sight of Secchan and given her a quick once-over. He gave a slow whistle.

"Oh, don't lead me to temptation- I can find it myself," he commented with a grin, making eye-contact with Secchan. "And who might you be?"

Secchan matched his cheeky grin. "I might be Tinkerbell, but then again, I might not," she replied glibly.

"And who do you want to be?" Kiba maintained eye-contact with her.

"Who do you want me to be?" Secchan countered.

Kiba let out a bark of laughter. "Kiba," he volunteered, holding out his hand.

"Secchan." Secchan shook his hand.

"INUZUKA, GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!"

Kiba sighed. "I'm being hailed." He shrugged. "I'll be right back. Don't move," he told them and ambled over to the person who had called him, Secchan checking him out as he went.

Secchan turned to face Temari, a cat-that-got-the-cream smirk on her face. "He's cute."

Temari held back a smile. "Who, Kiba? Hmm… I guess he's not too bad looking."

"I know who I'm going for tonight," Secchan purred, her eyes glinting with lust.

"You nymphomaniac," Temari snorted. Secchan assumed an innocent expression and looked at her friend.

"One must do what one loves, must they not?" she asked.

"At least it's not your profession," Temari laughed.

"I haven't ruled that out yet," Secchan replied with a saucy smirk.

"Haven't you already gone through that phase?" pondered Temari.

"Hmm… oh yeah, there was that brief stint at that strip bar," contemplated Secchan, "but that's about as close as I got."

"That's pretty damn close," Temari pointed out. Secchan shrugged.

"Well, yeah, but maybe I want to go all the way." She winked.

Temari rolled her eyes. "You wouldn't be able to choose the guy, love."

"Okay, I'm over it."

"There's a good girl." Temari patted Secchan's shoulder patronizingly. "And that was almost true."

"Except for the good part."

"Except for the good part," Temari agreed.

"So, Temari-biscuit, I meant to ask, are you gonna make a move on Loverboy tonight?" Secchan asked, suddenly changing the topic.

Temari blinked. "What? No."

"Then when the hell are you gonna make a move on him? Please do it before you get fat," Secchan pleaded.

"Oh for- Secchan, I'm not going to make a move on him."

"Not necessarily tonight, you've still got a few more months," Secchan assured her.

"No. Secchan, I'm not making a move on him."

"At all?"

"At all. No moves are being made," Temari told Secchan firmly.

Secchan huffed. "God, you're no fun at all."

Hey, that sounds familiar!

Well, then it must be true, mustn't it?

Shut up.

"And I'm back," Kiba loudly announced as he returned, effectively cutting off a potential diatribe from Temari. "Didja miss me?"

"Immensely," Secchan purred, back in seductress mode.

"Why don't I get a pretty lady a drink?" Kiba offered his arm out to Secchan.

"That sounds perfectly delectable." Secchan accepted his arm. Temari raised her eyebrows, although not really surprised.

"Ahem. Inuzuka. Before you disappear into the twilight, could you point me in the direction of Shikamaru," Temari caught them before they evaporated.

Kiba turned back to her, distracted. "Huh? Oh, yeah, sure, he's sulking in the corner there." He pointed in the direction of said corner.

"Thanks." Temari started to head off in that direction. As she passed by Secchan, she murmured in her ear: "Bitch. Abandoning me like that."

Secchan just grinned. "Send my best wishes to Loverboy."

Temari shook her head and moved off, leaving Secchan to her latest challenge.

Temari fought his way through the bustling crowd and caught sight of Shikamaru slouching in a chair in a relatively secluded area of the room.

"Hey, Shikamaru!" she called. He looked towards the sound of her voice and a lazy grin crept over his face as he pinpointed the source.

"Ah! Sanity!" he exclaimed.

Temari chuckled at his comment.

Sanity? Where?

KILL EEEET!!

No! Shut up! Just…go die in a hole somewhere!

"Happy birthday," she said when she got close enough for him to hear.

"Thanks," he remarked wryly.

"Secchan sends her best wishes. She's here, but she's been abducted by Kiba," Temari told him as she pulled up a chair.

Glad they had found someone to talk to, the two sat chatting amicably while everyone else hit the bar.

o0o0o0o

"And here's the birthday boy!" shouted Secchan, throwing her arms out, even more exuberant than usual (if that was possible), as she was rather inebriated.

Temari rolled her eyes at her wild friend as she stood in front of them with her hands on her hips and a huge grin on her face.

"It's your birthday! Stop being such a downer! Who gave you a fucking sedative?" Secchan asked and gave a small hiccup. "D'you know what'll wake you up? Strippers," she proclaimed.

Temari buried her face in her hands. "Oh God."

"Why don't you have strippers? Kiba, why didn't you get him strippers?" Secchan demanded, turning to Kiba.

"You know, I don't know how I could have missed that," Kiba slurred slightly, also having imbibed. Actually, knowing Secchan, Temari wouldn't be surprised if Secchan had coerced Kiba into a drinking contest.

Secchan turned back to Shikamaru and Temari. "Oh well. I guess me and Temari will just have to do it," she grinned.

Temari's head shut up. "Not a fuck, Secchan."

"Okay, maybe she hasn't quite had enough to drink. Oh wait!" Secchan hit herself in a forehead. "Duh! You're pregnant, you can't drink!" Secchan shrugged. "Oh well, guess it'll just have to be me, then. Now, I'm going to find some more of that delicious apple sours…" She wandered off in the direction of the bar, Kiba following behind obediently.

Shikamaru turned to Temari. "She-she wasn't serious, was she? She isn't actually going to… strip, is she?"

Temari shrugged. "Who knows? With enough alcohol in her, that girl will do anything. Hell, with no alcohol in her, she'll do pretty much anything!"

Shikamaru looked at Secchan over at the bar in worry.

Temari sighed. "Maybe Kiba will talk her out of it."

Shikamaru snorted. "Kiba? He won't talk her out of anything. He's too fucked. Besides, he just wants to get in her pants," he replied.

"Well, isn't that a coincidence. She just wants to get in his pants," Temari remarked wryly.

Shikamaru contemplated this. "Oh well. No-one loses."

Temari laughed. "That's for damn sure."

Shikamaru looked at her. "I'm glad you came. This probably would have been a terrible night otherwise. I probably would have ended up getting completely trashed.

"I think we're the only people here that aren't drunk right now. Why aren't you drinking? I know what my reason is, but what's yours?" Temari asked him.

Shikamaru shrugged. "Just don't feel like it. Last time I got completely trashed came with some rather unexpected consequences and quite frankly, that headache was fucking killing me. Don't want a repeat of that. Too troublesome."

Temari smiled. "That makes sense."

A loud cheer caused them to look over at the bar, where Secchan was being helped onto the bar counter. After steadying herself, Secchan placed her hands on her hips.

"Is it just me, or is it really hot in here?" she shouted, fanning her face with her hand. Her question was greeted with a loud cheer.

"Holy shit," Shikamaru muttered, staring at Secchan, who was now surrounded by a crowd made up of almost everyone at the party. "Is she actually going to-" He couldn't finish.

Secchan undid the first couple buttons on her white blouse, smirking at the roaring crowd. She held up a hand. "Don't worry, ladies, I won't take it all off. You'll get your men back. Besides, I have someone I'm quite interested in myself," she shouted, squatting down and sliding her hands over Kiba's shoulders. He was leaning against the bar. Kiba downed what was left of his drink and threw his hands up in the 'rock-on' sign.

"Oh yeah, I am one lucky bastard!" he yelled.

Secchan, who had stood up, laughed and pushed his head forward with her foot. "You better believe it, honey!" she called.

This comment was greeted with raucous laughter, cat-calls and wolf-whistles.

"She certainly does know how to charm the crowd. At least she's not taking it all off," Shikamaru said.

"Yeah. I should have guessed. She'll probably only take her top off. That's what she usually does," Temari replied.

Shikamaru raised his eyebrows. "You mean she's done this before?"

"Once or twice. At bars. Or clubs. She likes being the center of attention."

"I can see that," Shikamaru chuckled.

They watched as Secchan teased the crowd, slowly undoing each button and then turning around to undo the last two or three buttons, smirking over her shoulder at the crowd. She shook her hair down her back and slowly drew her shirt down, getting loud encouragement from the crowd. Finally, she slipped her shirt off and held up her arm, dangling her blouse. She turned around with a whoop and swung her shirt like a lassoo; strutting along the counter. The crowd cheered loudly. Shikamaru raised his eyebrows again.

"Is that a tattoo?" he asked.

Temari looked at the emerald green Chinese wyrm (A/N. wingless dragon) that wound it's way around Secchan's torso. "Yeah. She got it a couple years ago."

Secchan was now dancing provocatively to the loud music. She pulled Ino up onto the bar counter and Ino joined in happily, keeping her shirt on. Secchan, clad only in jeans and a bra, had wrapped her blouse around Kiba's neck.

"Is it just me, or is her belly glinting?" Shikamaru asked Temari.

Temari chuckled. "No, it's not just you. She has a belly ring. And… other rings," she muttered the last part half to herself.

"What?"

"Oh, nothing."

"Tenten!" yelled Secchan, spotting someone she knew. "Come one up here, babe, you know you want to!" With little protest, Ino and Secchan pulled Tenten up to join them.

"Babe, you gotta let your hair down!" Secchan yelled pulling the hairties out of Tenten's hair, loosening it from it's usual two buns.

"Flip it!" Secchan commanded.

Laughing, Tenten obeyed, doing it very sexily.

Shikamaru chuckled. "I think Neji just about fainted."

Temari looked over to where the Hyuuga was situated and let out a little laugh. "Yeah, from loss of blood. Do you think he's fucked her yet?"

Shikamaru's eyebrows shot up yet again. "Is this a normal conversation topic for you?" he asked.

Temari turned to face him, surprised. "Um… yeah…"

Shikamaru nodded. "Right…well, actually I reckon he has fucked her."

"Oh, do you now? And what makes you say that?"

"What, aside from just looking at them interact? I saw them exiting the same woman's restroom the other day looking rather flushed and satisfied."

Temari let out a squeak before giving in to the urge to laugh. "Oh my, maybe Secchan was right."

Shikamaru furrowed his brow. "Right about what?"

"Hmm? Oh, just a comment she made the other day about what Tenten sees in Neji."

"Which was?"

"Well, Secchan says maybe 'Mr. White-Collar' lets loose his wild side in bed."

Shikamaru choked. "Oh fuck, that put unwanted images in my head."

Temari crinkled her nose. "Yeah, that did kinda make him sound like a Chippendale dancer."

Shikamaru squeezed his eyes shut. "With all due respect, Temari, I'm going to ask you to shut up now."

Temari chuckled at the look of distaste on Shikamaru's face. He cracked open an eye to glare at her.

"How dare you laugh at my torture?" he demanded, only half-joking.

"I guess I just have a sadistic side," she replied sweetly.

Especially in the bedroom, RAWR.

EEP! I'M NOT SAYING THAT!

Why not?

Because!!!

Temari gave her head a slight shake to remove thoughts of a perverted nature- of which there were quite a few, thanks to living with Secchan for so long.

Speaking of Secchan…

Temari looked towards the bar counter to see Secchan lean down for Kiba to say something in her ear, which seemed to prompt her to get down from the bar.

"I guess sadistic is a shade better than masochistic," Shikamaru said, bringing Temari's attention back to him.

Or both together…sadomasochism…mmm…

you seriously scare me sometimes. Seriously.

"Well, it depends on how sadistic you are," Temari said, firmly ignoring the voices in her head.

All of a sudden, Temari felt a little queasy.

Shikamaru noticed and frowned concernedly at her. "Are you okay? You're looking a little peaky."

Temari grimaced. "Mmm, yeah, I just need to go outside for a little bit. Get a bit of fresh air." She started to get up.

Shikamaru stood up with her. "I'll come with you."

"Oh no, you really needn't-" Temari started, but was cut off as Ino bounced up to them, obviously more than a little buzzed, and flushed from her little stint on the bar. Temari chanced a quick glance at the bar and saw that it was vacant.

"Shikamaru!" Ino said. "Come on! You haven't danced! You have to dance at least once!"

"Ino, no, I was just gonna go outside with-"

"You know, Shikamaru, I think you should dance. Go ahead. I'll be back now," Temari grinned, just at the idea of Shikamaru dancing.

"Yay!" Ino squealed, taking Temari's comment as consent and she started pulling Shikamaru to the dancefloor.

Shikamaru glared at Temari over his shoulder as he was dragged away, obviously noting her smirk. "Traitor," he mouthed at her before being swallowed by the crowd.

Temari chuckled and headed to the door, really wanting that fresh air now.

Temari wandered outside, loving the cool air.

"Shit, it was hot in there," she muttered to herself, leaning against a wall and closing her eyes. Then she heard a gasp from around the corner. Her forehead creased.

Oh please don't let that be what I thought it was…

"Fuck, you're hot," a faintly familiar male voice muttered. The comment was answered with a little moan.

Temari let out a little sigh.

Yep, it's what I thought it was. Great.

"Holy shit! Is that a nipple ring?" the male voice said disbelievingly as Temari started levering herself up. Her eyes shot open.

Ohmygod is that-

A feminine giggle reached her ears. "I'm full of surprises," a voice she knew well said seductively.

-Secchan. And Kiba.

Oh god that's going to leave an unwanted image.

Can we go now? Please? Before I sustain any further damage?

For once, Temari listened to the voices in her head and got the hell out of there as fast as she could.

She walked back inside with her eye twitching. Shikamaru- who had obviously escaped from Ino- saw her and headed over.

"You're back soon," he noted. She nodded.

"Why is your eye twitching?" he asked.

She looked at him. "I found Secchan and Kiba. They're outside," she stated. Shikamaru blinked.

"From the look on your face I can guess what they were doing. That had to have been awkward."

"Oh, I didn't see them, I just… heard them," Temari told him.

He shrugged. "Maybe it wasn't them. Tenten and Neji are also missing."

Temari allowed herself a small laugh before replying. "Oh, trust me, it was them."

"How can you be so sure?"

"I know Secchan's voice. Besides, he mentioned her nipple ring."

Shikamaru choked on his beer- she hadn't noticed it before.

Temari looked at him. "Maybe that was a bit too much information."

Shikamaru nodded. "Just a little," he gasped.

Temari grinned. "Sorry."

"Once again, you revel in my torture." He regained his composure. "You know, you'd think they'd learn about unprotected sex after what happened to us. Not that I regret it or anything," he added hurriedly.

Temari grinned again. "Maybe, but they're both incredibly drunk, so they're not exactly thinking straight."

"That's true. God, if those two do have a kid… that kid is going to be a horror."

Temari laughed. "That's for sure. But Secchan's not going to get pregnant."

"How do you know?"

"She can't have kids."

"Can't? Why?"

"She had a hysterectomy about 4 years ago."

Shikamaru's eyebrows shot up. "How old is she?"

"28, same as me," Temari told him.

"So that would make her…24. That's young to have a hysterectomy. Why did she get one?" she asked.

"She doesn't want to have kids. And she felt guilty about her abortions, but she doesn't feel she'd be a good mom, so she thought it was for the best."

"Abortions? As in plural?" Shikamaru was surprised.

"She's had two. And considering it's Secchan, and how promiscuous she is, two pregnancies by the time she was 23 isn't actually that surprising."

"What happens if she decides she wants kids?" Shikamaru asked.

Temari shrugged. "She says she can always adopt."

Shikamaru considered this. "Huh. Secchan's…interesting."

Temari nodded. "Yeah. She's claimed godmother," she told him.

"What?" he asked, working on the change of subject. "Wait…what?! Oh god. Our child is going to be debauched."

"Weeeelll… yeah, maybe a little," Temari admitted.

"And fond of body adornment," he added.

"There's nothing wrong with body adornment," Temari told him.

"What, are you saying you have some?"

Temari smirked. "Maybe." She did, in fact. A small tattoo of a white unfolded fan with three purple dots on the inside of her thigh.

"Where is it?"

"Not telling," she replied with a naughty tilt of the lips.

Shikamaru's mind whirled with all the possibilities of where it might be and his thoughts started encroaching on dangerous territory- not that they didn't enter those forbidden areas whenever he was alone.

"Is it a tattoo?" he asked.

"Possibly," she replied, determined not to give him a straight answer.

"What is it?"

"Aren't you full of questions."

"Just trying to get a picture."

Temari raised her eyebrows as Shikamaru realize what he said and backtracked. "I mean… I didn't…well… I just… I was just…curious!"

Temari's heart did a funny little trip in her chest at the thought that maybe, just maybe, he did mean it in the way it had come across. She thought it was the best thing she'd heard all night.

-TBC-

A/N: Okay okay I know, it's taken forever! But I have a reason! Pretty much I went home from boarding school because I couldn't walk because of an arthroscopy I had done and the bulk of this chapter I had written beforehand- and I left the manuscripts at school. So that didn't work. Anyhow, it's an extra long chapter!! I hope that makes up for the wait… This chapter seemed to be mainly focused on Secchan, now that I look back on it, even though it's told from Temari's POV. Hmm. But hey. Hope you enjoyed, PLEASE review!! PLEASE!!