Guilty

Two days of nothing. I stared up at the bleak, white hospital ceiling drowning in guilt. He still had not awoken. I was not only drowning in a strong sense of guilt but also smothered by an unbearable sadness. I couldn't understand it. It was not simply the sadness that is automatically felt for another human being who is suffering. No, this sadness was more profound. It was as though I were mourning the suffering of someone I knew, someone I held close to my heart. How could I feel this for a man I did not know?

I was being discharged today. I was relieved, of course, but know I wouldn't be here to keep checking how Edward was doing. I still haven't been able to visit him, but today I would. Before I left, I would come face to face with Edward for the first time since the accident. I felt a strange anticipation for this meeting even though he probably wouldn't know I was there. Dr. Cullen walked in and sprung me from my thoughts.

"How're you feeling today Bella?" he asked kindly.

"Better I think. I mean, my ribs don't feel so painful and my head seems to hurt a lot less." I didn't mention the fact that emotionally I felt as down as ever.

"That's good. It looks as though we can go ahead as planned and discharge you today."

"Ok. Thank you." My reply was subdued. Then I just had to ask… "Any chance that Edward has …?" I couldn't finish the question in case it fuelled some foolish hope.

"No, I'm afraid he hasn't…not yet." The sadness in his eyes became more pronounced at this. I could tell, though, that he dared what I did not. He dared to hope because he knew his son and had faith that he would fight and come back to them.

"I'm sorry…"

"Nonsense. You have no need to apologise. Now, I'll go set everything in motion to let you out of here."

"Thank you. Do you mind if, before I leave, I visit Edward?" I asked, somewhat tentatively.

"No, of course you can. I'm sure he'd like to hear a new voice anyway. I'll see you late Bella." He gave me the usual small smile as he left.

My father had gone back to Forks once he was sure that I was going to be okay. However, Alice was going to pick me up as my car was completely wrecked and I'm still nervous to get back behind the wheel. I didn't know if I should have her with me for support when I visit Edward or if it would be too inappropriate. Perhaps it would be best to visit him alone... I didn't know how I was going to react when I finally saw him...finally saw the damage I'd done.

For hours I simply lay there and contemplated what would happen when I visited Edward. I was so engrossed in my imaginings that it surprised me quite a bit when the nurse came in and began disconnecting from the monitors.

"Am I able to go now?" I asked hopefully.

"Yes, dear, Dr. Cullen has put through your discharge papers. Here are your clothes and belongings that you had with you." It irked me when she called me 'dear'. She couldn't have been more than five years older than me! Didn't she realise she wasn't on the children's ward? I knew my annoyance was slightly irrational, but the impending visit had my emotions on edge. My inner turmoil was really beginning to get to me.

As soon as I slipped on the clothes Charlie fetched for me before he left – as the clothes from the accident were completely ruined – I left my room and went to call Alice on my cell. She answered almost immediately.

"Bella! Thank God! Are you finally being set free today?" the little pixie trilled.

"Geez, Ali. You make it sound like prison. Though, I guess I spend more time in the ER than most criminals spend in prison." I chuckled. "But, yes, I am finally being 'set free'. Can you pick me up in say, half an hour?"

"Of course, Bellsy, but why do you need half an hour?"

"I'm going to go see Edward. He's the other driver from the accident. He's in a coma Al. I can't help but feel a little responsible." I couldn't tell her how completely I blamed myself. She'd never let it go until she made me swear on a Bible that it wasn't my fault. Though, her version of the Bible is Vogue.

"Oh, Bella, this was no one's fault." She said soothingly.

"Regardless, this is something I just have to do."

"Ok, Bells, I'll see you in thirty."

Now that was over and done with, there was nothing more to do before this visit to Edward. Slowly, as if I were carrying a great weight upon my shoulders, I trudged to his hospital room. It was just before visiting hours so I was sure no one would be there unless it were Dr. Cullen. Hesitantly, I pushed open his door and what I saw took my breath away.

Even after the horrific accident, he looked absolutely God-like. He was pale – though I couldn't tell if this was normal or because of his condition – which stood in great contrast to his shocking disarray of stunning bronze locks. His features were sharp and chiselled and exquisitely perfect from his strong, angular jaw line to his flawlessly straight nose. There were a few visible shallow, superficial cuts but other than that, you wouldn't think he was in such a serious state.

All this made me feel even guiltier. How could I have done this to such an angel...such and Adonis? It left me with the feeling that what I had done was unforgivable, but I would try to make up for what I had taken from this man, starting with giving him my company.

"Uh...Hi, Edward" I began nervously. "You won't recognise my voice, if you can hear me at all, but I'm Bella. I, uh, was the driver in the other car. I'm so sorry...I don't know what happened...I'm sorry you ended up like this. I can only hope that you will wake up and be able to get past this and I hope you know I really didn't mean for this to happen. I was just meant to be meeting someone for dinner...I just didn't think this would happen." At this, I could no longer hold in the sobs begging to break free. Seeing him so still...so unresponsive, had my heart twisting in my chest. "God, I'm so, so sorry..." It was all I could choke out in my desolate, inconsolable state.

Just then the door was thrown open by the most imposing man I had ever seen. He just stood there looking completely confused. Then, a blonde Amazon pushed past him. If Edward was the epitome of a Greek God, the she most certainly was the embodiment of a Greek Goddess. She, however, was not confused. She had fire in her eyes.

"Who the hell are you?!" she demanded. I vaguely wondered in the back of my clearly irrational mind if she was Edward's girlfriend. A wholly unjustified pang of jealousy sparked within me.

"Sorry, uh, I'm Bella...Bella Swan." I would have offered her my hand but the looks she gave me held the distinct warning that if I were to do so, such an action would result in the loss of my arm.

"So you're the stupid, irresponsible bitch that put my brother in law in here!" she exclaimed angrily.

I couldn't even feel the relief at the words 'brother in law'. All I could do was sit there, with tears still streaming endlessly down my face, in absolute shock and guilt.


A/N So we have some more Cullens thrown into the mix. There's more drama to be had! Especially now Rosalie is out for blood. Sorry for lack of update. I had a little trouble with this chapter and I'm still not sure about it. I couldn't let you wait any longer though :) Please put my worries to rest or point me in the right direction if you like with a much appreciated review!

Disclaimer: I own nothing of Twilight, Stephenie Meyer does. However, I have gorgeous Edward Cullen poster on my wall...yummy...